Are the Maxwells allowed to have friends?

[Guest LilaFowler]

Or can they only hang out with the family?

[kpmom]

It's funny, they talk about visiting with friends when they are on the road giving their seminars, but I've noticed all of these friends are entire families. In other words, I've never seen that any of the Maxwell siblings have any individual friends.

[JennJenn]

Or can they only hang out with the family?

"Friends" Steve approves of that the family gathers with as a whole. Individually? I recall in blogs the mention of Christopher going to dinner with some men's group or something once and Sarah has a friend in Alaska that does some of the sketches for her books. But I can't imagine Steve actually "allowing" his family to have fun times with friends and on their own without him being at the helm.

[Jessica]

No, they aren't.

[clibbyjo]

NO. Steve made a point to say "we are all each others BEST FRIEND"S" several times when we saw them in person. The "friends" they normally see are employee's who help pack books ,they don't know what friend's are.

[fundiefan]

The family as a whole can have other families to claim as friends (chosen, vetted & approved by Steve), but no individuals have individual friends.

[lilwriter85]

I think several fundie families tend to only have whole families as friends. I think maybe Sarah's friend in Alaska might only be seen as business contact/associate. Christopher's men's group is probably a group that strongly promotes patriarchy and certain fundie beliefs. I doubt his men's group is one of those feel good type Bible study groups.

[FloraDoraDolly]

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. It was Jesus Christ Himself who spoke these words. He was speaking to his disciples. If you've read the New Testament, you know that the disciples were not perfect people. They made mistakes, they had doubts, they sometimes acted cowardly. I wonder if Steve Maxwell thinks Jesus's friends are good enough for his family?

[JennJenn]

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. It was Jesus Christ Himself who spoke these words. He was speaking to his disciples. If you've read the New Testament, you know that the disciples were not perfect people. They made mistakes, they had doubts, they sometimes acted cowardly. I wonder if Steve Maxwell thinks Jesus's friends are good enough for his family?

I find it amazing that the Maxwell's don't trust their children around strangers when even Jesus disappeared and Mary and Joseph had to search for Him. They finally found him in the temple and Jesus said, to paraphrase, would I not be found in my Father's house. Do they distrust their kids so much that even Jesus' examples of evangelism aren't good enough?

[thoughtful]

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. It was Jesus Christ Himself who spoke these words. He was speaking to his disciples. If you've read the New Testament, you know that the disciples were not perfect people. They made mistakes, they had doubts, they sometimes acted cowardly. I wonder if Steve Maxwell thinks Jesus's friends are good enough for his family?

And (correct me if I'm wrong) the disciples were people Jesus went out and found as he traveled -- not people his parents "vetted" for him.

[doggie]

they don't trust their children to make choices they don't trust the world they don't really trust each other. this is what fear does to you.

[JennJenn]

And (correct me if I'm wrong) the disciples were people Jesus went out and found as he traveled -- not people his parents "vetted" for him.

You are correct. Joseph didn't vet the disciples. Actually typing that makes me laugh. Vetting the disciples. HA!!! :roll:

[xDreamerx]

And (correct me if I'm wrong) the disciples were people Jesus went out and found as he traveled -- not people his parents "vetted" for him.

Exactly, they were basically a group of raggamuffins and vegabons that he encountered along the way. He even went to Mary and Martha of Bethany's house unchaperoned *gasp* where he scolded Martha for paying too much attention to house work, saying that she should more like her sister and ask spiritual questions. The horror, the horror.

I think much like the Duggars and other fundie families, they only are friends with families who are also fundie/QF. I remember Boob said on in one of the episodes with the Bateses that they purposely seek to surround their children with likeminded people instead of allowing them to have friends who might sway them into going against their parents or "doing things they shouldn't". I would assume they would be affraid of one on one friendships because it could become a way for their children to be "corrupted". I mean, we don't even see the girls go shopping alone. It's always with at least one other sibling. That one time Jessa or Jinger brought one of the Jed/Jem twins shopping for a chest set, but that's the closest I've seen them to "alone".

[lilwriter85]

Exactly, they were basically a group of raggamuffins and vegabons that he encountered along the way. He even went to Mary and Martha of Bethany's house unchaperoned *gasp* where he scolded Martha for paying too much attention to house work, saying that she should more like her sister and ask spiritual questions. The horror, the horror.

I think much like the Duggars and other fundie families, they only are friends with families who are also fundie/QF. I remember Boob said on in one of the episodes with the Bateses that they purposely seek to surround their children with likeminded people instead of allowing them to have friends who might sway them into going against their parents or "doing things they shouldn't". I would assume they would be affraid of one on one friendships because it could become a way for their children to be "corrupted". I mean, we don't even see the girls go shopping alone. It's always with at least one other sibling. That one time Jessa or Jinger brought one of the Jed/Jem twins shopping for a chest set, but that's the closest I've seen them to "alone".

I have noticed with the Duggars and several other fundie families tend to only have close friendships with other fundies/QF's or they probably approve some of the friends the older kids might have. I also remember Boob saying that on the show. The only Duggar kid that I think might have friends out of the fundie/QF circles is maybe John David and I think he might have friends through the fire department. Some of those guys are probably are conservative Christians but they probably are less conservative than the Duggars. I hope someday one of the fire department guys takes John out for a beer.

I think buddy systems pretty much take away time for older children in families to form friendships outside the home. When I watch the show, I feel bad for Jana, Jessa and Jill, because they are over the age 18 and other girls their age are out learning to be independent and having fun at times. I wonder if those girls have any actual friendships outside the family. I guess maybe Jana has friends from Journey to the Heart and maybe the girls have acquaintances from their dating seminars.

I think control and fear the main are what pushes fundies to keep their kids away from people that are different from them. I have a feeling that sometimes Boob and Mullet get leery when cousin Amy is around the girls.

[YPestis]

Well, Steve Maxwell has said he does not believe in letting children have friend (!!). In fact, they will not let their children alone with another child until they are at least in their early teens and "trustworthy". Sarah Maxwell has even written that she was grateful her younger siblings grew up without individual friends! The Maxwells believe that outside friendships are "temporary" and can be corrupting, but sibling friendships "last a lifetime".

Steve is also very big on making sure no one is let alone by themselves. He says adult children should ideally stay with the family until marriage so they will always have someone to be 'accountable' to. He also says spouses should not travel without each other because they would not be "accountable" to each other. Of course, children should never be let out of hearing range until they are teenagers. Teri Maxwell have said family policy is that their children, if circumstances forces them to be in a different room than the parents, then they try to make sure more than one Maxwell child is together to ensure "accountability".

Frankly, I don't understand all this obsession with accountability. It's just another code word for "making sure no one hangs out with people who may introduce a non-Maxwell approved message".

As for fun with friends, Steve wrote disparagingly of people who just "hang out" with friends. He says a better usage of time is to do something like "fellowshipping", scrapbooking, cooking etc. I guess cleaning is probably one of the top Maxwell friendship activities since they appear to enjoy doing it so much with guests!

[xDreamerx]

Well, Steve Maxwell has said he does not believe in letting children have friend (!!). In fact, they will not let their children alone with another child until they are at least in their early teens and "trustworthy". Sarah Maxwell has even written that she was grateful her younger siblings grew up without individual friends! The Maxwells believe that outside friendships are "temporary" and can be corrupting, but sibling friendships "last a lifetime".

Steve is also very big on making sure no one is let alone by themselves. He says adult children should ideally stay with the family until marriage so they will always have someone to be 'accountable' to. He also says spouses should not travel without each other because they would not be "accountable" to each other. Of course, children should never be let out of hearing range until they are teenagers. Teri Maxwell have said family policy is that their children, if circumstances forces them to be in a different room than the parents, then they try to make sure more than one Maxwell child is together to ensure "accountability".

Frankly, I don't understand all this obsession with accountability. It's just another code word for "making sure no one hangs out with people who may introduce a non-Maxwell approved message".

As for fun with friends, Steve wrote disparagingly of people who just "hang out" with friends. He says a better usage of time is to do something like "fellowshipping", scrapbooking, cooking etc. I guess cleaning is probably one of the top Maxwell friendship activities since they appear to enjoy doing it so much with guests!

They make guests clean?!

[jesusfreak]

Yes they do, and future in-laws too.

[doggie]

they guy is a class a1 asshole/prick. the control he exhibits would make a nazi look like a doting grandmother. I am sorry but I think he is the one who wants needs the family to worship him and his fantastic manhood. he trusts no one else so how can anyone tust him? No wonder she has so much issues with depression married to him has got to be the biggest strain on a marrage that I can think of. This really limits the ability of the children to even be able to socialize and to learn have any creativity. all he is making is little robots like himself. he is fucked in the head so he has to fuck his whole family up along with him.

[muffynbear]

they guy is a class a1 asshole/prick. the control he exhibits would make a nazi look like a doting grandmother. I am sorry but I think he is the one who wants needs the family to worship him and his fantastic manhood. he trusts no one else so how can anyone tust him? No wonder she has so much issues with depression married to him has got to be the biggest strain on a marrage that I can think of. This really limits the ability of the children to even be able to socialize and to learn have any creativity. all he is making is little robots like himself. he is fucked in the head so he has to fuck his whole family up along with him.

I agree. He's a douche. As much as I like to make fun of the Maxwells for their hyper-religious lifestyle, I do pity them in some ways. Steve is on a power-trip.

[doggie]

the sad truth is the more you think you are doing gods work doing what god wants the more you are only fooling yourself and doing what you want. them ore you are convinced you are right the more chance you are wrong. without doubt you become a fool.

[Justme]

They make guests clean?!

There was a big blog w/ lots of pictures of Anna and her family visiting from WA BEFORE they were engaged. They were still at the "courtship" phase. They were all cleaning, painting, etc. Christophers house.

[Guest Anonymous]

Yeah, they didn't even just freshen it up with a lick of paint, they did the full 8 hours of applying polish to the kitchen cupboard doors, that Mama Max likes to be done several times a year.

I wonder if Christopher requires Anna M to do that alone now she is his helpmeet.

[Antigone]

They make guests clean?!

I'd think that of the maxwells also but I can see why the Duggars and some other families might do that for safety purposes. My family has some safety concerns ourselves so we kind of screen people when we first meet them, but we wouldn't isolate/prevent anyone from having friends. We just don't want the whackjob who tried to snatch our kid to have another shot at it through people THEY know. It sucks, but I can see WHY some people would have to do it, but the difference here is personal safety vs just because the patriarch does not want anything that can influence his authority/power over his household.

Though I CAN say that hubby will be doing background checks in about ten years once Sevy becomes interested in any special people... :lol: at least, I can see him considering that.

anyway back to my point which was: IF not for valid purposes (safety, etc), why prevent people from interacting with each other? It's just ridiculous and only lends credence to the fact that the patriarch is the only person that wields power/control of any kind in that household, and that isn't healthy for anyone, IMO. :eusa-naughty:

[moreorlessnu]

Yeah, they didn't even just freshen it up with a lick of paint, they did the full 8 hours of applying polish to the kitchen cupboard doors, that Mama Max likes to be done several times a year.

I wonder if Christopher requires Anna M to do that alone now she is his helpmeet.

I wish for their sake that they house is a little bit dusty, a little bit dirty and untidy, and that they've found some ways to enjoy their time alone together as adults.

[xDreamerx]

Yes they do, and future in-laws too.

Ooh. That's really bad manners in my book. Do you they brag about this, as if it's an accomplishment?