Stay at home dads

[EllieCee]

Anyone here know/have/married to/is a stay at home dad?

My dad's one. When I was younger, he and my mom both worked, but he stopped when I was five years old. Now he stays home and does the cleaning, cooking, and all that jazz. When I was in 3rd grade, we had to do this activity on describing your family. When I said my mom worked and my dad stayed at home, some little boy told me "So your dad does women's work? That's weird!". I didn't understand what he meant until my dad explained it.

Anyone have anything to share?

[valsa]

Anyone here know/have/married to/is a stay at home dad?

No, but I think they're awesome.

[clibbyjo]

Yes, I know 2. They used to come to our playgroup when we met at the UU. They would go off and do their dad thing while holding,feeding and changing babies. I think we scared 1 away,it was too hard for him to hang with the moms on a weekly basis. Sometimes they would be sitting in our circle and we would be talking about something "for women only" and forget the one who stayed was there would say "don't mind me, I am one of the girls. :)" He was so funny, he would say "My wife brings home the bacon,and I fry it up in a pan." The funniest of all is he is a pretty big ,tattooed,bald ex punk dude and here he was hanging with the moms swapping "tired spouse" stories or recipes. :dance:

[VodouDoll]

thegoodthedadandthebaby.com/

I follow this totally charming and adorable blog by a stay at home dad. He writes about the same kinds of things any SAH parent deals with, but also about how he feels being the only dad at storytime or baby swim class, gender stuff, culture stuff (he's American and his wife is from Japan, and they're committed to doing their best to raise their daughter multiculturally), etc. He's a fun writer and his kid is adorable.

[Cassandra]

I had an ex-boyfriend that would always talk about wanting to be a stay at home dad with 5 kids by the time he was thirty.

We uh, had different priorities...

[kthomp38+]

My cousin's husband is a stay at home dad for his six year old and one year old daughters. He also homeschools the older one. He lost his job shortly before the oldest was born and they decided that he should stay home while mom worked. My brother-in-law also stays at home even though his kids are sixteen and twenty-one. He is an artist and works from home as well though. If it matters my cousin is Southern Baptist and pretty conservative while my sister-in-law and brother-in-law claim no religion.

[Beeks]

My neighbor is one - 2 little girls. I think it's awesome!

[Antigone]

LOL! Clibby, the SAH Dad you describe sounds like my friend who is a SAH dad :) My daughter has a little boyfriend (they're only 5, but it's fun to tease each other a bit about the kids like that) whose father is a stay at home dad. They have a younger son as well, who has a personality quite like my daughter's, and the father now realizes why we stopped at one :) The bonus is, the younger son likes to play that he is a SAH father like his dad with the dolls. It's way cute, the kid is a born nurturer. I knew another stay at home dad but the family moved, and I think the dad got a job with the move.

I never really knew any Stay at home fathers, and I'm glad I met the ones I know, they changed my entire perspective on men within the household. Sure, I knew a guy could stay home and take care of the kids, but I never SAW it actually being put in practice :) it was awesomely humbling and mind blowing at once. Now I take care *not* to scare away any fathers and try to include them in whatever we are doing.

[Annette]

My husband works from home as an online college instructor, so when our little one arrives, he will be a SAH dad! He will probably get his work done in the evenings when I'm home.

[ladypuglover]

My BFF's husband is a stay at home dad. Think of a man who stands about 6'7, 250 lbs of solid muscle, ginger hair buzzed into a high and tight and looks like he enjoys eating kittens for breakfast and you would have her husband. Thing is that he really is a huge teddy bear that adores kids and not just his own. He looks very scary but is a gentle giant. I love him too but not that way. ;)

[MrsYoungie]

My husband was a stay at home dad 3 days a week and I was stay at home mom 2 days a week. This was when our boys were small. Our older boy was only in day care for part mornings for kindergarten and our youngest never was at all - although we did sign him up for nursery school because he was such a bundle of energy that he really needed and loved it.

MrYoungie took some flack from friends and family, but it was a logical solution for us.

[lilwriter85]

I know two men that are current stay at home dads. One of them is my cousin He got out of the military in 2008 and he served two tours in Iraq. He and his wife only 1 child right now. They have 5 year old son Last year my cousin decided to stop working and stay home with his son during the day. He is currently attending college to become a respiratory therapist. He goes to school in the late afternoons and evenings. He and his wife are planning to have more children and likely he won't be a stay at home dad in the future. He has told me enjoys the time he has had with his son in the past year.

The other guy that I know is a former co-worker of mine who was laid off back in 2008 when downsizing happened. He and his family moved to another city with a lower cost of living. He decided to stay home with the kids and he does odd jobs such as painting and maintenance here and there. I communicate with him mostly though Facebook and he hasn't really said anything if he plans to go back to a full time job later on. He has 4 year old twin girls and a 7 year old daughter.

I have known a few other men who stayed home with their kids at one point, but they are now working.

[BlackHawk]

I get to be one! My partner makes loads more money then I could ever dream up as a teacher. My business makes minimal money to have some fun money, but with kids it wouldn't be worth it to put them in care while I make money... to pay for their care. I am stoked about it, personally.

[Guest Anonymous]

My dad stopped working when I was in 2nd grade so was sort of a SAHDad after that, but he still always worked on farms a 4+ days a week. He always took me to school, picked me up, cleaned, cooked dinner, took me to the doctor, etc.

My sisters were both graduating high school soon after I was born and my mom was a stay at home mom for a lot of their childhood, so my parents basically got the chance to do it both ways.

[Sydney Fox]

My brother was a Stay at home Dad until his three kids reached school age. He's a big teddy bear and his wife always said he was the more patient and nurturing parent. I know he loved being home with his kids. Sadly, our Dad didn't support his choice to stay home. He was always getting after my brother to get a "real" job. They no longer talk to each other.

[joe_mulcahy]

*raises hand* Does a fellow who works at home count? If so, then I am a stay at home dad, in that after our son was born, I accepted a job offer that allowed me to work at home. I think since our children are in our homes for a fleeting twenty years or so, it is their birthright to have the best one's parent can provide, and in our case, it's to provide our son with one parent at home at all times with him. I do nearly all of the cooking and laundry whilst my wife does the day to day cleaning. It works out well since my wife doesn't enjoy cooking, and I don't notice when the house is untidy, but she does. We both dote on our son whenever we can wrestle him away from our parents who also love him.

I wouldn't have it any other way really. I mean, I love working, but love it even more when I can be home tending my son whilst doing it!

@VodouDoll wow, that fellow is an American with a Japanese wife who works outside the home? Fancy that! I'm a Scottish man with a Japanese wife (who is a bit of a workaholic)! I should like to read his blog!

[debrand]

My younger sister's husband remains home with their younger children. Their example has inspired my daughters to want house husbands. In fact, one of my daughters said that whether or not her own children are homeschooled will depend on her husband because he will be the one at home with them.

[Patsy]

For the first three of us, neither of my parents worked five days a week. My parents and dad's parents all worked some days and they all stayed home with us some days. If flexible work schedules count, my dad was a SAHD :)

[GoJiRa]

No, but I think they're awesome.

x2.

[fundiefan]

When my cousin and his wife had twins, he stayed home with them the first three years while she worked. He worked in Tool & Die and she was a nurse with a Masters degree and a supervisory position. She always made twice his income. It was kind of a no-brainer.

I can't say he was thrilled with it, especially once the first year had passed. But they did what they knew had to be done for their family. He went back to work when the kids entered pre-school, which was around the same time his wife got a different job with more money and different hours, which allowed her to be home most week days. She still makes mega bucks with that job; 36 hours a week in 3 - 12 hour shifts.

[VodouDoll]

@VodouDoll wow, that fellow is an American with a Japanese wife who works outside the home? Fancy that! I'm a Scottish man with a Japanese wife (who is a bit of a workaholic)! I should like to read his blog!

You should definitely check him out! The series on his blog about taking his daughter to Japanese story time, where all the other parents are moms and he doesn't speak a word of the language, made me laugh so hard I cried.

[acheronbeach]

My bro's one. He has 2 small kids and his wife's an anaesthesiologist, whereas he's just a computer geek who never much liked working.

My dad also lost his job and stayed home with us for 2 years when we were babies.

[Juliakitty]

My dad was a stay-at-home dad, but he was older and had had a career, so he opted for early retirement.

[DefraudedbyGothard]

Yep. I live on a cul de sac with 2 stay at home dads. One is the father of 4 and the other is the father of two. The dad with the two little girls (5 & 7) just took them on a camping/road trip for a week because their mom was on an extended work trip. They rock.

[aelar]

My husband is going to try being a stay-at-home dad. He already does all the cooking and most of the cleaning, since I work all day and he was in school. I go back to work in two weeks, to a job that makes more than he likely ever will. He just finished his BA, and would like to get his MA, and really wants to just be a writer.

So he's going to see if he can handle being home with the baby all day (I know I don't have the patience for it, but he is more patient than I am) and if so, he'll watch the baby and work on his books and do school if he wants. He's not a kid person, but he's willing to try for his daughter and for the opportunity to pursue his dreams a little easier, and right now at least we seem to have an easy baby. If it ends up being too stressful he'll get a job to pay for daycare, but we both hope to avoid it. I have a job where I can work from home at least a day or two a week, so we're hoping that we can get both of us enough adult alone time to hold it together.

I really think being home with a child all day is one of the hardest jobs ever, and not something most people are really going to thrive at. Kids are soooo energy-draining, and need so much constant attention the first few years, it's just maddening to introverts like us with jobs and passions that take a lot of focus. I admire my husband so much for taking this on. But it's our one and only child, so we're going to try and give her the best we can, and we're lucky enough to be in a financial position where my husband can stay home, even though I can't.