Boyfriend Bears for Purity?!

[thoughtful]

This was never the way I planned, not my intention.

I got so brave, bear in hand, lost my discretion

It's not what I'm used to, just wanna try you on.

I'm curious for you, caught my attention.

[Chorus]

I kissed a bear and I liked it,

The taste of his furry dipstick.

I kissed a bear just to try it,

I hope my Jesus don't mind it.

It felt so wrong,

it felt so right.

Don't mean I'm in love tonight.

I kissed a bear and I liked it (I liked it).

No, I don't even know your name, it doesn't matter.

You're my experimental game, just ursine nature.

It's not what good girls do, not how they should behave.

My head gets so confused, hard to obey.

[Chorus]

You bears, you are so magical,

Soft fur, red scarf, so kissable.

Hard to resist, so touchable.

Too good to deny it.

Ain't no big deal, it's innocent.

[Chorus]

X024NEsDyC8

[thoughtful]

I wonder what Steven Colbert thinks of this.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colber ... es-mash-up

[Closed Womb]

Oh crap, they are gonna need teddy bear accountability partners:

28-year-old Charles Marshall was arrested. His crime: loving a teddy bear too much.

I'm not sure how NSFW something needs to be before it is, well, not safe. So, I'll keep link here:

http://gawker.com/5919448/teddy-bear-sex-scandal-man-arrested-for-fourth-time-after-masturbating-with-stuffed-animal

ETA: And, once again, what is with only GIRLS needing these chastity bears? What's going to keep the fundie boys from giving away their Biological Material heart?

[jjmennonite]

You are making me spit coffee on my keyboard, Thoughtful.

[thoughtful]

You are making me spit coffee on my keyboard, Thoughtful.

Sorry about the keyboard, but glad I could amuse you! :D

[Cherokee2000]

Thoughtful:

Your "furry dipstick" says it all. Wish I had thought of that!

[contrary]

You're supposed to write letters to your future husband and put them in the bear's pocket.

Then you GIVE THE BEAR TO YOUR HUSBAND on your wedding day.

What the ever-loving hell?

[thoughtful]

Then you GIVE THE BEAR TO YOUR HUSBAND on your wedding day.

What the ever-loving hell?

Well, sure -- the bear represents your purity.

I think I'll name mine Hyman (too bad the name is not spelled exactly like the body part, 'cause that would be just perfect -- squee!).

[contrary]

I cannot fathom letting ANYBODY read a note I wrote when i was 14, much less having a whole stack of them to present to my (hypothetically-adult) husband.

I am shuddering just thinking about that. When i re-read old journals from jr high and high school, I am embarrassed for myself.

[samurai_sarah]

Uhm, bears for purity? That's been done before.

mtBTafgam7M

[ElphabaGalinda]

Aren't they going to be giving away pieces of their hearts to these bears? If the girl is really "choosing" to remain pure, whatever that's supposed to mean, a bear won't make a difference. Those who buy these bears for their daughter sure aren't letting it be a choice. Why anyone would think kissing a bear is a good idea is beyond me.

[Buzzard]

I have to notice that its snout and nose is very large. I'm thinking that, if angles correctly, that bear could be very "useful".

And whats up with the "boyfriend" thing? I thought dating was a sin and you're only supposed to court?!?

Does my daddy have to approve of my bear? What if it whispers evil things to me in the night?

Why is he naked? He should be wearing pants! I'm very concerned that girls will start looking for the boy parts!

[bellicosebroad]

I'm not sure why there's a donate button on the home page. Donate for what, little girls who can't afford their own bear? If I was a little girl, I'd rather go to Build A Bear.

Are these really for "little" girls? Or are they for adolescents and young women (like Jana) who have perfectly normal desires to date people their age and must have something unnatural to focus on in order to try to suppress those desires? Yuck. :roll:

[Sumeri]

I cannot fathom letting ANYBODY read a note I wrote when i was 14, much less having a whole stack of them to present to my (hypothetically-adult) husband.

I am shuddering just thinking about that. When i re-read old journals from jr high and high school, I am embarrassed for myself.

During our last move, I found a stack of old journals from when I was 14 or so, written in pink pen and saying things like "What if T.A. never loves me again? I want to die." Followed with the lyrics to "Open Arms".

I promptly hauled them out to the burn barrel for fear that I might be killed in a car wreck and my husband would stumble across them while sorting my things. If I had presented him with a fucking stuffed animal with a note in it's pocket from 14 year old me I wouldn't be at all surprised if he drove off and refused to see me again.

[Buzzard]

I do solemnly swear to remain pure for so long as this purple crayon writes.

[contrary]

During our last move, I found a stack of old journals from when I was 14 or so, written in pink pen and saying things like "What if T.A. never loves me again? I want to die." Followed with the lyrics to "Open Arms".

I promptly hauled them out to the burn barrel for fear that I might be killed in a car wreck and my husband would stumble across them while sorting my things. If I had presented him with a fucking stuffed animal with a note in it's pocket from 14 year old me I wouldn't be at all surprised if he drove off and refused to see me again.

Open Arms! HAHAHAHA. I am guilty of using When in Rome and Smiths Lyrics.

I am horrified when i re-read these old journals, but I have held on to them, so that maybe one day when my own daugthers find themselves in a fit of teenage angst, i can PROVE that i know how they feel.

HOOOPINNNG YOU'LL SEEEE

WHAT YOUR LOVE MEEEEEEEANS TO ME.

[Cherokee2000]

Uhm, bears for purity? That's been done before.

mtBTafgam7M

But in this skit, the bear is BLACK! Not pure white. And it's the BOY's bear, not the girl's.

So... virgin girls are white (pure), virgin boys are black (evil)? I'm getting confused. :-? :-?

[penguinagogo]

thoughtful posting.php?mode=reply&f=8&t=13495&sid=2b79f52d6349e7d62d18c9ae6f3140f8#

i think i have just given away a piece of my spleen

from laughing so hard.....

[doggie]

I really wonder if these girls truly understand what they are pledging too? I mean they are supposed to be pure so they can't even know what the sexual act is or what it is really about.

[shesinsane]

I really wonder if these girls truly understand what they are pledging too? I mean they are supposed to be pure so they can't even know what the sexual act is or what it is really about.

They understand that they are pledging to remain completely ignorant about all things sexual until they are engaged and their parents feel they are ready for the Lego talk.

And yes, this does cause instances where girls are sexually abused but unable/unwilling to recognize it because they are ignorant.

If this Boyfriend Bear had hidden camera capabilities, I could see it as a useful tool in guarding a daughter's purity. Then again, it's easy to throw a blanket over a stuffed animal so it doesn't see the dirty deeds you're doing.

[contrary]

I still thought sex was SO GROSS when i was 12/13. I would have happily agreed to wait AS LONG AS POSSIBLE at that age.

...then I turned 16. heh.

[SisiL78]

This reminds me of those girlfriend sex pillows that lonely Japanese men fetishize...,

[Effie]

Are these really for "little" girls? Or are they for adolescents and young women (like Jana) who have perfectly normal desires to date people their age and must have something unnatural to focus on in order to try to suppress those desires? Yuck. :roll:

More for teens and young women, I think. I noticed a Boyfriend Bear sitting somewhere at Arizona State University. Someone had commented that her bear is sitting on her dorm bed.

[Just_Jane]

I still thought sex was SO GROSS when i was 12/13. I would have happily agreed to wait AS LONG AS POSSIBLE at that age.

...then I turned 16. heh.

I said that same thing about sex at those same ages and then I changed that tune. I certainly wouldn't have wanted a bear during those early teen years as that would have clashed with my sense of style.

[stefanilynn76]

FJ should totally buy one of these and raffle it off!