Breaking MAXWELL news/Liz cancelled the wedding to Joe

[Sumeri]

I just read this in the comment section of the Maxwell's:

We feel your pain acutely and we grieve with you. How hard life can be in this fallen world we live in – only by the grace of God can we make it through. We pray that God will be your refuge and comfort and strength.

I think of the words to that beautiful hymn:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

:roll:

Good lord, nobody died. It's a broken engagement. You might be sad, but good grief.

[Guest Anonymous]

I just read this in the comment section of the Maxwell's:

:roll:

Good lord, nobody died. It's a broken engagement. You might be sad, but good grief.

I think that hymn was actually written by someone after a broken relationship? Not that it is all that encouraging or relevant for a 20-year old lad whose quickie marriage has been called off, but..... then again, I wonder what a blue grass version would sound like? ;)

[nokidsmom]

I just read this in the comment section of the Maxwell's:

:roll:

Good lord, nobody died. It's a broken engagement. You might be sad, but good grief.

But they missed a chance to talk about death at another wedding :roll:

Seriously, while breaking an engagement when the wedding is just about to happen is certainly going to make it more of a shock (as opposed to say, months before) but I have to say this family-wide grieving is over the top.

Edited for grammar

[YPestis]

I don't think the Maxwells will spin any of this. It's in poor taste and would appear vengeful to start bad-mouthing a young girl whom they had previously really liked. They'll delete the engagement from existence and not mention it again. That's how the other broken courtship was dealt with. I don't see any difference. I'd be interested in seeing who will be next up for courtship.

Someone once said Steve may have some trust issues, maybe even have been deeply hurt at some point. This may be the reason he has turned increasingly isolated from the rest of the world. He seems obsessed with the idea of "accountability". That no one can be left alone to their thoughts or actions because they will sin. This broken engagement, so close to the wedding, must really hurt him since he had thought this young girl would make a good addition to his closed world and she in turn spurned HIM. I wonder how this will change the next courtship. Will they give it more time? Monitor it more closely? Scrutinize the family more closely for ideological purity? Or will the kids just see more restrictions in their lives that they will never court again? I wonder if Steve is feeling conflicted about putting the family (really, himself) out there and risk getting hurt again versus growing back into his shell and closing off possibility of more grandchildren. He had eight children, six of whom are marrying age by fundie standards, yet only four grandchildren. If nothing else, he'll have a hard time selling his "ministry" if most of his kids can't seem to marry.

[puddle]

I think that hymn was actually written by someone after a broken relationship? Not that it is all that encouraging or relevant for a 20-year old lad whose quickie marriage has been called off, but..... then again, I wonder what a blue grass version would sound like? ;)

No, actually that hymn was written by a man who lost his four year old son, then was ruined financially by the Great Chicago Fire, and then lost his wife and three daughters when their ship sank in the Atlantic. Slightly more devastating circumstances.

[Arete]

I think that hymn was actually written by someone after a broken relationship? Not that it is all that encouraging or relevant for a 20-year old lad whose quickie marriage has been called off, but..... then again, I wonder what a blue grass version would sound like? ;)

That hymn was written by a lawyer in the early 20th Century. He sent his wife and four young daughters to Europe via oceanliner on the first leg of the journey of establishing the family as missionaries in then Palestine. The boat sunk and all the children drowned. Only his wife survived. She telegraphed him "I survive alone, what shall I do?" He wrote the hymn on his way to Europe on another liner to get his wife. It came together in his mind near the place his children had drowned.

It is VILE to reference a hymn written in that kind of tragedy because little Joey Maxwell did not get the toy/wife he wanted. These Maxwell groupies are sick.

ETA-Puddle beat me to it. Four daughters drowned, the wife survived. The couple did eventually establish themselves in Palestine and spent the rest of their lives there.

[puddle]

That hymn was written by a lawyer in the early 20th Century. He sent his wife and four young daughters to Europe via oceanliner on the first leg of the journey of establishing the family as missionaries in then Palestine. The boat sunk and all the children drowned. Only his wife survived. She telegraphed him "I survive alone, what shall I do?" He wrote the hymn on his way to Europe on another liner to get his wife. It came together in his mind near the place his children had drowned.

It is VILE to reference a hymn written in that kind of tragedy because little Joey Maxwell did not get the toy/wife he wanted. These Maxwell groupies are sick.

ETA-Puddle beat me to it. Four daughters drowned, the wife survived. The couple did eventually establish themselves in Palestine and spent the rest of their lives there.

But you got the details right. Oops.

[Guest Anonymous]

Well, I got all the details wrong. :oops:

I don't doubt that poor Joe must feel like his world had fallen on on him right now. It's just such a shame he can't grab the keys to his van and take off with John to have a few beers or something to let off steam. The enforced family mourning must be like the New Year Wailing Wall x eleventy.

[MamaJunebug]

Has somebody saved the broken hearts Maxhell post against the time when it disappears forever? Kthxbai.

Also thanks to those who gave the history of "Peace like a river." That story, and the hymn, is more powerful a witness than all Steve's declarations of asceticism!

[Guest Anonymous]

Has somebody saved the broken hearts Maxhell post against the time when it disappears forever? Kthxbai.

I've just checked my google reader and it seems that the full text of all the titus2 posts are stored, going right back to 2006, including Christopher's broken engagement to Sara. They are also indexed by the wayback machine.

Oddly, in the archive there is mention on a blog post of a "Courtship Survey" back in March 2010...but the poll is no longer archived at titus2.com. Does anyone remember this? Is this where we got the idea that there may be a courtship book in the making?

[Witsec7]

Well, I got all the details wrong. :oops:

I don't doubt that poor Joe must feel like his world had fallen on on him right now. It's just such a shame he can't grab the keys to his van and take off with John to have a few beers or something to let off steam. The enforced family mourning must be like the New Year Wailing Wall x eleventy.

Too much dramaz. These folks are once again showing their hypocrisy. If what they preached about courtship is true no one would have 'a broken heart' over this whole debacle. Steve's gonna take his family off to the woods rather than explain why his perfect system didn't work. When they get back it will all be neatly swept under the rug.

IMHO Elizabeth needs some counseling and not some bullshit minister. She was in total babblefish land with her post on her parents web site. Someone needs to talk to her and discuss the differences between loving a concept, a celebration or a party and actually loving another individual person.

more riffles than a mountain stream.

[Palimpsest]

Well, I got all the details wrong. :oops:

I don't doubt that poor Joe must feel like his world had fallen on on him right now. It's just such a shame he can't grab the keys to his van and take off with John to have a few beers or something to let off steam. The enforced family mourning must be like the New Year Wailing Wall x eleventy.

Yeah, but for goodness sake! The hurting and grieving are more for bruised egos. Steve's gigantic ego coming first. Then there was a cash layout on the house. And the $22 spent on the rehearsal dinner decorations. That expenditure is probably worth grieving in Maxhell (trademark MJB).

But, as, per Stevo the unMagnificent, Joseph's courtship and engagement was by the Fundie book no pieces of Joe's heart should have been fragmented.

Seriously though, I'm sure Joseph is upset and I feel very bad for him. He glimpsed a degree of freedom, saw a sweet lively young woman and was undoubtedly attracted to her, and probably thought he was on a 6 day countdown to SEX! He may even have believed himself in love, although with their limited contact I'd doubt he felt real love.

Elizabeth missed a bullet here. I hope some of the Maxwells finally escape Steve, but Joseph is still very involved.

[divadivine]

The energy bars look like turds in Saran Wrap trapped in a big Ziploc Bag. Maybe Sarah can share the recipe in the next Moody Book? That would liven things up.

[ricky_ticky]

Oddly, in the archive there is mention on a blog post of a "Courtship Survey" back in March 2010...but the poll is no longer archived at titus2.com. Does anyone remember this? Is this where we got the idea that there may be a courtship book in the making?

I took the courtship survey back in March 2010, but I'm sure I didn't score very well. I vaguely remember questions about how I met and married my ex-husband.

I thought that the survey was helping them to prepare the workshop session on courtship, "Raising Children to be Courtship Minded," (for men and ladies.)

[Guest Anonymous]

I noticed that Aunt Tami (Teri's sister) has 'liked' Recovering Grace on facebook... She clearly worries about her sister's family. I wonder what the Jasseys all thought of the whirlwind engagement and break-up? I also wonder what poor grandma thinks?

Tami is also no longer friends with Nathan Maxwell.. in fact I can no longer find his Facebook profile. Maybe Daddy made him shut it down?

[Guest Anonymous]

I took the courtship survey back in March 2010, but I'm sure I didn't score very well. I vaguely remember questions about how I met and married my ex-husband.

I thought that the survey was helping them to prepare the workshop session on courtship, "Raising Children to be Courtship Minded," (for men and ladies.)

Aha... thanks, that would be this one:

Raising Children to Be Courtship-Minded Session

Steve Maxwell

Time: 1 hour

Most Christian parents today want something better for their children than the dating they experienced on the path to finding a spouse. Raising courtship-minded children in a world where dating is the norm can be a challenge. Join Steve for this practical, balanced session that will encourage you while giving you insight and direction.

[Witsec7]

Do they take a van and Uriah too when they go to the mountains? I'm rather disappointed we didn't get to see Steve's packing list.

[Guest Anonymous]

Their first Fall Conference is 6-7 September (and Steve will be giving the Courtship seminar on Day 2 - hoorah for Steve!)

Were their original plans to go on vacation and stay until the conference - it will be a long time away if they go on Thursday and stay away for the fortnight...

[Hane]

And these people still think that the courtship model 'guards hearts'. It's baffling! What really gets me is that it's perfectly possible to date and to not have premarital sex, which is what these people are really honestly worried about. People do it (don't do it?) all the time. Sure, it's difficult, and it should be difficult if you're genuinely attracted to, and have strong feelings for, the person you are with. But if it is that fundamentally important to you to wait until your wedding night, it can totally be done. I know people who have done it. They have great, successful, happy relationships. The difference is that they were allowed to date, spend time ALONE together, get to know one another, have fun without this insane pressure.

Here's an analogy that may or may not work... I'm against adultery. I would never cheat on my boyfriend/spouse. That is an ideal I've held for a long time, and will continue to hold. It doesn't matter if other people around me do it. It doesn't matter if I start to get bored in the relationship, or am really tempted to cheat for any reason. I just won't do it. But I don't need chaperones to follow me around to make sure I'm guarding my heart against potential affairs. Why can married fundie couples be trusted to guard their hearts in this way, but they can't be trusted to go to a cafe alone and chat for an hour or two with a potential spouse? And why is it such a huge tragedy if they slip up and touch each other, kiss, or GOD FORBID even have sex before they marry? Sometimes I wonder what kind of God these people believe in, because it seems like they missed the memo and they think the New Testament is bad news instead of good.

If Joseph and Elizabeth had met at a conference, started exchanging some e-mails, maybe moved onto phone calls, met a couple more times with their families/in public - they'd still be in the early stages of a relationship. They'd probably be happy and excited. Their families would also be getting to know one another at a normal pace. If they decided at this point, or even a few months down the road, that things weren't working and they had to break up - well, I'm sure they'd be upset, the families might be sad, but they'd recover so much quicker and learn from their experience, and their hearts would be WAY less wounded than they have been in this ridiculous courtship model.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

You've nailed it.

[WonderingInWA]

Do they take a van and Uriah too when they go to the mountains? I'm rather disappointed we didn't get to see Steve's packing list.

This! I was glad to see the list of things Teri and Anna made for food, though. Would love to know what was on that.

[pixydust]

:clap: :clap: :clap:

You've nailed it.

Well done!

[Mela99]

It looks like they'll give him a little time to heal in Colorado, and then it's right back to the dog and pony show.

I can understand hurting for your loved one who got dumped a week before the wedding, but it's Joseph who needs to heal (and, hopefully, reflect). I don't get the need for the family to be healing.

When they say they're going to work on their sessions, does that mean filling that planned courtship workshop in with something else?

This.

I get that the girls were probably excited to have a new sister and they all enjoyed working on the house, but Joseph is the one who was left behind.

I'm gonna assume Steve is the one who needs the most comfort and healing since his ego has taken another bust. A GIRL said NO to the MAXWELLS.

Assume the fetal position, Steve

[MamaJunebug]

I noticed that Aunt Tami (Teri's sister) has 'liked' Recovering Grace on facebook... She clearly worries about her sister's family. I wonder what the Jasseys all thought of the whirlwind engagement and break-up? I also wonder what poor grandma thinks?

Tami is also no longer friends with Nathan Maxwell.. in fact I can no longer find his Facebook profile. Maybe Daddy made him shut it down?

I've looked for a Tami Jassey on FB but no luck - could you please provide info on her? In a PM if you wish... Thanks, if so or if no! :)

[luckystone]

That hymn was written by a lawyer in the early 20th Century. He sent his wife and four young daughters to Europe via oceanliner on the first leg of the journey of establishing the family as missionaries in then Palestine. The boat sunk and all the children drowned. Only his wife survived. She telegraphed him "I survive alone, what shall I do?" He wrote the hymn on his way to Europe on another liner to get his wife. It came together in his mind near the place his children had drowned.

It is VILE to reference a hymn written in that kind of tragedy because little Joey Maxwell did not get the toy/wife he wanted. These Maxwell groupies are sick.

ETA-Puddle beat me to it. Four daughters drowned, the wife survived. The couple did eventually establish themselves in Palestine and spent the rest of their lives there.

They probably didn't know the origin...bit offensive though. I notice that comment started with "we've never met you but you are like family to us". CREEPY!

Also why are they so excited about air drying their clothes? People do that all the time.

[Sister Mozz]

The energy bars look like turds in Saran Wrap trapped in a big Ziploc Bag. Maybe Sarah can share the recipe in the next Moody Book? That would liven things up.

I thought the same thing. :? Not the most enticing snack... oh wait, we're talking about the Maxwells. :naughty: