Ben, Jessa, Spurgeon Six

[silverspoons]

With al these adoption stories popping up (obviously to promote the finale), is there any rules about adoption and filming. The little couple talked about this. They were told when Will came home no filming for 3 months. Jen and Bill had a few pictures and maybe a home video they showed of the first months at home and they narrated. The same was the case for Zoey. I wonder if it was just a recommendation of the agency or maybe the counseling service the Arnold-Klein's used or if it was part of a more formal agreement.

 

[Snarkylark]

I had inferred that it was Bill and Jen's rule to not allow filming until the children were bonded and settled, IIRC. 

[Mercer]

From a general legal standpoint, they could not include a child in a reality show, magazines, or social media postings until the adoption is finalized, because up till that point the child is not officially theirs. They would still be able to take pictures and video for their own use, but not to share them publicly until they are the child's legal parents. 

There also might be additional rules set by the particular agency/department in question depending on where they were to adopt from.

[Casserole]

7 hours ago, silverspoons said:

With al these adoption stories popping up (obviously to promote the finale), is there any rules about adoption and filming. The little couple talked about this. They were told when Will came home no filming for 3 months. Jen and Bill had a few pictures and maybe a home video they showed of the first months at home and they narrated. The same was the case for Zoey. I wonder if it was just a recommendation of the agency or maybe the counseling service the Arnold-Klein's used or if it was part of a more formal agreement.

 

 

The Robertson's (Duck Dynasty) did not show their most recently adopted son for quite a while. Actually, I don't watch the show so I have no idea if he's ever been shown? I just know on instagram he was in the background of a lot of pictures with no explanation and then finally a few months later the mom posted his picture and introduced him/explained why they waited the introduce him. I'm sure they were waiting until everything was legalized and he was truly "theirs" prior to telling the world. What weirded me out was the number of people posting that they had previously gone to school with him, knew his birth mom/family, etc. and requested that Korie tell him hello and pass on their messages. 

[ksgranola1]

I didn't know about the 3-month rule. I wondered how the kids picked up English so well so fast.

[2manyKidzzz]

What I recall about the Klein-Arnold adoptions is that she said they told them to isolate themselves to some degree so the children could bond with them. Filming would be very distracting, whereas family members, thinking Jen's parents here, would not but would be good support. They being the agencies/mentors/counselors.

[MakeItSo]

I've mentioned before that I was adopted by my biological aunt and uncle in my early teens and I think even then I remember we were encouraged to spend extra quality time together, even though we already knew each other but just to help get settled into our new lives. It was quite a big change for me but nothing at all what it must be like for someone who was adopted from half way around the world by someone they've never met. If I had a reality show, no matter how a child was added to my family (adoption, biologically) I would not want any cameras around for at least 6 months...I'd probably shoot lots of home videos myself though

[Four is Enough]

We weren't even allowed to have our children baptized until their adoptions were finalized.

[ksgranola1]

14 hours ago, Snarkylark said:

I had inferred that it was Bill and Jen's rule to not allow filming until the children were bonded and settled, IIRC. 

Yeah, b/c they filmed them extensively right out of the orphanage. When they got home , they could have no visitors, not even the grandparents.

[Funderella]

hi everyone, long time lurker, only actually registered to see the joshley pic haha. I've been wondering for some time but this doesn't seem to be a popular speculation... does anyone else think the only reason Jessa and Ben didn't do the public kiss during their wedding ceremony was because it wasn't really their first kiss and didn't want to lie in front of the whole congregation like that? I think one of the things that surprises me about this community is how much we take what they say they do or don't do at face value. someone here likened it to the Amish teens secretly going out and partying at night. I very highly doubt at least some of these couples don't figure out a way to get alone time before their weddings, or even before their courtships officially start. i also feel like some of these girls are secretly wearing pants at home and listening to a little pop country music and watching some Netflix but can't admit to it for fear of ruining the brand. just my 2 cents  

[Coconut Flan]

The kiss issue was discussed quite extensively at the time the wedding episode aired.  I'm sure the search function will lead you to several posts. 

[foreign fundie]

11 hours ago, Funderella said:

hi everyone, long time lurker, only actually registered to see the joshley pic haha. I've been wondering for some time but this doesn't seem to be a popular speculation... does anyone else think the only reason Jessa and Ben didn't do the public kiss during their wedding ceremony was because it wasn't really their first kiss and didn't want to lie in front of the whole congregation like that? I think one of the things that surprises me about this community is how much we take what they say they do or don't do at face value.....I very highly doubt at least some of these couples don't figure out a way to get alone time before their weddings, or even before their courtships officially start. 

Hi there! Good point, but after Joshly, I think few people here would be really surprised if what they do off camera is quite different from what they preach.

Still they preach it, and that has an effect on others. Even if they don't keep their own insane rules, they have to be called out for preaching insanity.

[barbecutie]

15 hours ago, Funderella said:

hi everyone, long time lurker, only actually registered to see the joshley pic haha. I've been wondering for some time but this doesn't seem to be a popular speculation... does anyone else think the only reason Jessa and Ben didn't do the public kiss during their wedding ceremony was because it wasn't really their first kiss and didn't want to lie in front of the whole congregation like that? I think one of the things that surprises me about this community is how much we take what they say they do or don't do at face value. someone here likened it to the Amish teens secretly going out and partying at night. I very highly doubt at least some of these couples don't figure out a way to get alone time before their weddings, or even before their courtships officially start. i also feel like some of these girls are secretly wearing pants at home and listening to a little pop country music and watching some Netflix but can't admit to it for fear of ruining the brand. just my 2 cents  

I thought that at first, but if you pay close attention to the "kissing photo" that was released directly after the wedding, you will notice they're barely kissing each other on the mouth. Almost a full miss. So maybe they did, but I doubt it. Those two were as about as awkward as 12 year-olds. I really hope they waited on the wedding night stuff until they were more comfortable with each other's bodies.

[servants-heart]

 

Yep, and if you watch the kiss at their wedding when they're outside the church, that's definitely second kiss material [emoji52] no puckering, just pressing their lips against each other's. I feel gross analysing this haha, but it really struck me how awkward it looked.

[punkiepie]

19 hours ago, Funderella said:

hi everyone, long time lurker, only actually registered to see the joshley pic haha. I've been wondering for some time but this doesn't seem to be a popular speculation... does anyone else think the only reason Jessa and Ben didn't do the public kiss during their wedding ceremony was because it wasn't really their first kiss and didn't want to lie in front of the whole congregation like that? I think one of the things that surprises me about this community is how much we take what they say they do or don't do at face value. someone here likened it to the Amish teens secretly going out and partying at night. I very highly doubt at least some of these couples don't figure out a way to get alone time before their weddings, or even before their courtships officially start. i also feel like some of these girls are secretly wearing pants at home and listening to a little pop country music and watching some Netflix but can't admit to it for fear of ruining the brand. just my 2 cents  

In many of their first kissing pics, Ben is practically kissing Jessa's chin- there is very little lip-to-lip action.  I really do think they saved their first kiss for the wedding day, but I think it was all about vanity and not wanting to be judged on their technique.  I know when I think about my first kiss... it was not something I would want the world to see.  Kissing is an art.  Even the best artists started out with crappy doodles before they became masters.  And then some people never graduate from those crappy little doodles.  

[Funderella]

I agree with you all and thought the same thing when I saw those hilarious pics! I just figured they snuck just one in before the wedding day, not enough to make them any better at it but just enough to make them liars. judging by how long it took them to get the kissing thing down, I'm surprised they were able to figure the rest out and conceive relatively quickly.

also, I can't believe I actually watched a whole "season" of this joke of a spinoff. nothing actually happened! even the fake storylines (the actor buying a car from Jinger) were boring as hell! if they're going to be using writers and casting actors, they couldn't come up with anything better? and what's with everyone refusing to answer the producers' questions? it's (supposedly) a reality show and you're getting paid to share your life on camera. you would think that stuff would be edited out but they literally have no other material.

 

ok, rant over, I'll go back to lurking now

[lascuba]

3 hours ago, punkiepie said:

In many of their first kissing pics, Ben is practically kissing Jessa's chin- there is very little lip-to-lip action.  I really do think they saved their first kiss for the wedding day, but I think it was all about vanity and not wanting to be judged on their technique.  I know when I think about my first kiss... it was not something I would want the world to see.  Kissing is an art.  Even the best artists started out with crappy doodles before they became masters.  And then some people never graduate from those crappy little doodles.  

I think Jessa agreed with the world that Jill/Derrick and other assorted fundie couples looked foolish during their first kiss and didn't want make a fool of herself, either by some dumbass dip or weird face sucking or other awkwardness. And I have nothing but respect for that. The constant bragging about saving the first kiss is distasteful at best and makes an embarrassing skeptical inevitable. 

[QuiverDance]

On 4/22/2016 at 5:22 PM, anotherone said:

You know those triplets are going to hate those parents when they become teens.  They will see through all the crap that we see now.  I had a friend whose family adopted a black girl for their youngest.  She and the older sibs got along fine but even the older ones saw that the parents adopted the youngest as sort of a hippie experiment to prove that they were so liberal or whatever.  As a teen she hated the mom because of that attitude. 

I also had a friend that considered adopting (not of any specific race) but she was very well educated and very accomplished in music and said how she wished to give these gifts to the child and how appreciative the child would be.  I said, you can't guarantee that, what if the kid wanted to work on sports cars or be a rock star rather than a doctor/lawyer/classical musician.  Oh no no! that kid would love everything I would give and be thankful they were adopted.  I tried to tell her that no teen will appreciate their parents (until much older), that you have to give out of love not out of wanting some kind of return.  She could have had biological children but somehow thought of adopted kids as different for some reason, they somehow would look up to her more because she "saved" them.

 

 

I know a well to do family that adopted a very young child when their oldest two were teenagers.  The older kids are very academically accomplished and business savvy.  The adopted child became, just as you described, an auto-mechanic.  His family set him up to succeed in that vein, but the differences between him and his older siblings are striking.  

[ksgranola1]

18 hours ago, lascuba said:

I think Jessa agreed with the world that Jill/Derrick and other assorted fundie couples looked foolish during their first kiss and didn't want make a fool of herself, either by some dumbass dip or weird face sucking or other awkwardness. And I have nothing but respect for that. The constant bragging about saving the first kiss is distasteful at best and makes an embarrassing skeptical inevitable. 

Ben was still a teen & I think he was afraid he'd get the world's biggest boner right there in front of 1000 ppl if he kissed her on the alter.

[eandre31]

The decision to not have their first kiss in front of a thousand people and then a million people on TV was one that I actually respect. I don't respect many of their decisions lol. Jessa and Ben have also proven they are super devout and committed to their holier than thou ministry. I really don't think they kissed before marriage. 

I would do the same if I was in that situation. My first kiss was awkward anD weird. Luckily it was at a park in Jr high and no one was there to witness but the two of us.

[HereticHick]

I came to this thread looking for discussion of Brimstone Ben's recent word salad:

"America, you should fear God more than you fear Isis, illegal immigration, or an ill economy. Repent church. Repent America."

This is the type of proclamation I expect to see scrawled on a piece of cardboard, being held by someone standing in from the US Supreme Court building who appears to have multiple imaginary friends.

But y'all seem to be busy discussing adoption and whatnot.

 

[2manyKidzzz]

5 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I came to this thread looking for discussion of Brimstone Ben's recent word salad:

"America, you should fear God more than you fear Isis, illegal immigration, or an ill economy. Repent church. Repent America."

This is the type of proclamation I expect to see scrawled on a piece of cardboard, being held by someone standing in from the US Supreme Court building who appears to have multiple imaginary friends.

But y'all seem to be busy discussing adoption and whatnot.

 

Great find Heretic. Was this on their Instagram, or Facebook? Brimstone Ben is a great name. He has lived so much life to be giving out this wise advise. Ha. 

[Shadoewolf]

I saw that too, and here's the thing....all sins are forgiven (even Josh!) because Jesus loves you and died for you, etc etc. but God should be FEARED?? Epic contradiction there Brimstone Ben

[2manyKidzzz]

To me, Bin is just way too young to be giving out this kind of advice. It is so annoying. I would say that one should fear Gothard, not God. 

[MyMilkshake]

When I was a kid, there used to be an old couple that set up a table by a street corner downtown. They had large cardboard signs set up around them. They'd sit in folding chairs all day and the man would preach and quote bible verses through a loudspeaker and the wife would try to offer people pamphlets explaining how the world was ending and how we must repent.
This is the future of street ministry that I see for Ben and Jessa. lol