Gardenfire Christian tshirts

[Buzzard]

In honor of their self promoting leg humping on Josh Duggar's instagram I think this snarktastic company deserves its own thread. Their summary alone qualifies:

divinecotton.com/Gardenfire_Christian_t_shirts_s/29.htm

Welcome to the new Gardenfire Clothing Line. We are so excited to be doing what God has called us to do. There is not enough room to share all of our stories and thoughts so, here is a quick summary of who we are and what we are up to. With over 7 years of experience working for the cream of the crop in the Christian Apparel Market, our owner and designer has created a brand that is certain to be the freshest, bravest and most consumer friendly apparel line you have ever seen in this market. Garment Quality has been a major focus. Often Christian tees are known for being cheap and odd fitting. Our design staff has poured their hearts into the development of a garment line that feels so comfortable, you may not want to take it off. So, when a man takes your cloak, you may not want to give him your shirt too! But, you can share The Message with whoever crosses your path. T-shirts are not Christian, the moving objects hanging out of the head and arm holes are responsible for wearing that holy name of Christ. Your T-shirt will not define you. Your heart will. You are the witness, we just supply the conversation starters.â„¢

Cream of the crop in the "Christian Apparel Market?" Is that like the church basement printing T shirts on an ink jet? Oh wait, you mean the industry that you then go on to slam as cheap and odd fitting? Sweet!

"a brand that is certain to be the freshest, bravest and most consumer friendly apparel line you have ever seen in this market" - Yeah... brave... totally... because someone is going to come and hurt you if your shirt is ugly? That show is called "what not to wear" and I'm pretty sure that some of these shirts would qualify.

Our design staff has poured their hearts into the development of a garment line that feels so comfortable, you may not want to take it off. So, when a man takes your cloak, you may not want to give him your shirt too!

WTF?!?!? Is it common practice to take your shirt off when someone takes your jacket? And who the fuck has a cloak? Is this hogwarts?

T-shirts are not Christian, the moving objects hanging out of the head and arm holes are responsible for wearing that holy name of Christ

Yeah... my arms are awesome witnesses for christ. :hand:

[mirele]

What's so awesome about these t-shirts, can someone tell me? What I see is the same old ripped off advertising parodies and memes from the larger society.

Some of them are also unreadable. I guess they're designed for hip, with-it pastors/youth pastors/music leaders?

[CanadianHippie]

I totally want a cloak. A black one with a hood so I can walk around the neighbourhood at night and scare people with my grim reaper impression. That being said, I have never taken off my shirt when someone offered to take my coat. If I did, they'd probably wonder if there was something wrong with me. I have also never taken off my shirt when someone asked me to with the exception of being out buying clothes and my companion saying "take that one off and try this one."

[LilMissMetaphor]

WTF?!?!? Is it common practice to take your shirt off when someone takes your jacket? And who the fuck has a cloak? Is this hogwarts?

It's a Biblical reference (Matthew 5:40). But I agree that it seems a quite snarkable "company".

[Buzzard]

It's a Biblical reference (Matthew 5:40). But I agree that it seems a quite snarkable "company".

Not all that "pure"... women should know better and keep their clothes on. These shirts are defrauding!

[Guest Anonymous]

In honor of their self promoting leg humping on Josh Duggar's instagram I think this snarktastic company deserves its own thread. Their summary alone qualifies:

divinecotton.com/Gardenfire_Christian_t_shirts_s/29.htm

Cream of the crop in the "Christian Apparel Market?" Is that like the church basement printing T shirts on an ink jet? Oh wait, you mean the industry that you then go on to slam as cheap and odd fitting? Sweet!

"a brand that is certain to be the freshest, bravest and most consumer friendly apparel line you have ever seen in this market" - Yeah... brave... totally... because someone is going to come and hurt you if your shirt is ugly? That show is called "what not to wear" and I'm pretty sure that some of these shirts would qualify.

WTF?!?!? Is it common practice to take your shirt off when someone takes your jacket? And who the fuck has a cloak? Is this hogwarts?

Yeah... my arms are awesome witnesses for christ. :hand:

Well, my upper arms do tend to flap in the wind. Does that count?

[DarkAnts]

I object to them ridding on the coat tails of the geeks.

Zombies, Darth Vader and Storm Troopers oh my!

[thoughtful]

The shirts with the bloody nails are especially charming.

[stum_ble]

I think I just had a flashback to my high school years.

[PokaDot]

The softest most comfy T-shirt I've ever gotten was a shirt form Jason Wu's Target collection.....then I washed it and it wasn't so soft anymore....but I still took it off because otherwise it starts to smell.

I guess it wasn't christian enough.

One more thing! Not enough room? What is this? 1996? Data on the internet is cheap! You can have all the room your grubby little hands can afford.

[Jezebel]

"Gardenfire" is what happens when I've had too many gin & tonics before starting the barbecue.

The one that made me shriek with laughter and wake the cats says, "Crown of thorns on his head, cross of wood on his back, YOU ON HIS MIND." I mean, I've had boyfriends who played the martyr, but that's just ridiculous...

[thoughtful]

"Gardenfire" is what happens when I've had too many gin & tonics before starting the barbecue.

The one that made me shriek with laughter and wake the cats says, "Crown of thorns on his head, cross of wood on his back, YOU ON HIS MIND." I mean, I've had boyfriends who played the martyr, but that's just ridiculous...

That made me think of this song:

z935jE8TdTg

Too bad it doesn't fit the rhythm, or I'd be in parody-writing mode again!

[pastaswife]

"This is my Christian shirt. My other shirt is an atheist." WTF does that even mean?

[tankgirl]

"This is my Christian shirt. My other shirt is an atheist." WTF does that even mean?

Secretly they are Atheist? :think: I like shirts that make other people look as dumb as they are, then I know who to avoid in public.

ETA: Or wait, maybe they have shirts that tell them what to believe, tomorrow they wear their Kosher shirt, then the "Halal all the Way" shirt, then they end the week with a good, "Rah, Rah, Ra!!!" shirt.

[lilwriter85]

When I was in high school, there was a group of girls who wore similar shirts like these and I wouldn't be surprised if they were Gardenfire shirts. I also looked at the Kerusso shirts on the divinecotton site and I laughed at how ridiculous some of those shirts are. I have seen those shirts for several years now. I remember my mom and I stopped at a gas station in Arizona during a road trip and they were selling several of those shirts. The Kerusso Christian shirts are using certain pop culture subjects to look "Godly" and those shirts just look plain stupid. I laughed at these ones

divinecotton.com/Kerusso_Christian_T_Shirts_NCIC_p/apt1237.htm

divinecotton.com/Kerusso_Christian_T_Shirts_Be_Happy_p/apt1275.htm

divinecotton.com/Kerusso_Christian_T_Shirts_NYC_p/apt1282.htm

[Buzzard]

Pretty sure I've now looked at all their shirts. Can someone point one out thats "brave?" They all look pretty standard...

[Kailis]

A Rasta-influenced Christian t-shirt? :shock: I have seen it all. And I cannot stop giggling at it. Praise Jah. :banana-dreads:

divinecotton.com/Classic_Christian_t_shirts_One_Love_p/gf12898.htm

Edited because grammar is always important.

[jockosmom]

Has the butterfly always been a Christian symbol? I have always loved butterflies and been attracted to clothing and other fabrics with butterflies on them. But lately I seem to see more and more butterflies on Christian-themed items. I was raised in church; attended a Lutheran church and was part of every activity that went on there for many years and I don't seem to remember the butterfly as a Christian image. The dove, of course and olive branch and some others, but not the butterfly. Have they co-opted that?

[Kitty]

"This shirt is illegal in 53 countries!"

Yeah, because national governments across the world totally have the time to ban a goddamn T-shirt.

Also, I'm not sure that wearing a shirt that says "I AM A CRIMINAL" is a good idea, even when it says ("In many countries around the world") as a sort of very small disclaimer. Attention whoring for Jesus, wheee!

[Soldevi]

Ahem. I know copyright laws are different in the US but I know Rovio is very strict about the usage of their birds and have taken action against Asian pirate copies. I informed them about this shirt: Angry Enemies

[Buzzard]

Ahem. I know copyright laws are different in the US but I know Rovio is very strict about the usage of their birds and have taken action against Asian pirate copies. I informed them about this shirt: Angry Enemies

I tried to link a pic to that one and was too lazy to screen cap. Love how I cant link the pic due to their own copyright issues but they'll violate others.

[RachelB]

Has the butterfly always been a Christian symbol? I have always loved butterflies and been attracted to clothing and other fabrics with butterflies on them. But lately I seem to see more and more butterflies on Christian-themed items. I was raised in church; attended a Lutheran church and was part of every activity that went on there for many years and I don't seem to remember the butterfly as a Christian image. The dove, of course and olive branch and some others, but not the butterfly. Have they co-opted that?

I've seen Sunday school-manufactured tissue paper butterflies used as decorations at a couple non-fundie churches around Easter, using the caterpillar's metamorphosis into a butterfly as an analogue to the resurrection. I would have thought fundies would stay away from that, though-- not only is it metaphorical rather than biblical, someone might think it looks like worshiping the creature instead of the creator.

[NerdyHil]

The copyright violations seem to be rampant with these shirts. The wrath of George Lucas really needs to crash down on this "clothing line".

[lilwriter85]

The copyright violations seem to be rampant with these shirts. The wrath of George Lucas really needs to crash down on this "clothing line".

I have also been wondering about the copyright violations with some of these shirts. My guess is that George Lucas and others don't know about some of the violations. In the past I have seen other Christian t-shirts which do rip off copyrighted images, but the designers change the font or colors.

[Jezebel]

The copyright violations seem to be rampant with these shirts. The wrath of George Lucas really needs to crash down on this "clothing line".

Seriously. I think Lucasfilm would be pretty quick to point out that "Thou shalt not steal" bit in US copyright/trademark law. They may be able to ignore it in the Bible, but coming from George Lucas' lawyers? Not so much.

The Rasta-themed shirt cracks me up, and I wonder how I managed to overlook it the first time. The Rastafari, after all, worship the late Haile Selassie (the same emperor of Ethiopia crazy Kidist gave flowers to as a child) as the reincarnation of Jesus--he's their God and King. They're the true children of Israel, the land of Zion is in Africa, and smoking cannabis is a sacrament.

Somehow, I don't imagine these beliefs going over so well among the American megachurch Christians who are Gardenfire's target market--they'd have to be the kinds of whitebread Reggae fans who are completely ignorant of Rasta beliefs in order to wear that shirt. Which they no doubt are, and that leaves me wondering whether it is possible to [headdesk] and LMFAO simultaneously.