Closeted Atheists

[Jezebel]

...One lady said she can't stand hypocritical, back stabbing Christians, but at least they weren't goddamn atheists. She whispered the word 'atheists' like it was a swear word. I'm not very good at guessing if someone is going to be sympathetic to my lack of belief or caring.

I probably should be brave and do my part to make life easier for future atheists by making myself an example of the atheist who isn't scary, but I guess I'm chicken. The consequences could be very high, particularly for my children.

I don't have kids, and that really changes things--I have a lot more latitude to say what I'm thinking, knowing that my kids won't be on the receiving end of anti-atheist hostilities, or attempts to undermine my relationship with them by stealth proselytizing (and I've seen the latter happen). I don't blame stealth-atheist parents for keeping schtum about it in order to make life easier for their kids. In fact, I think I'd throw some serious stink-eye at parents who were out-and-proud-and-loud atheists at the expense of their kids (but that's just me).

So if I'd been at the barbecue, I would have said something. I probably would have asked them bluntly what made them say that? Why, exactly were atheists so terrible? Did they actually know any atheists? And when they came out with a bunch of ignorant nonsense, I would have said, "Do you really think that about me? Am I really such a horrible person? Because I'm an atheist."

Putting a face to atheism can really make a difference, especially among the lukewarm "cultural Christians" who pay lip service to religion because it's socially expected. Letting them know that they've just spent a perfectly pleasant afternoon with a "goddamned atheist"--who they had never guessed was any such thing, and who is as un-bogeyman-like as can be--can be the wake-up call they need. Granted, it doesn't always work; some people will cling to bad ideas even when the new evidence to the contrary is obviously hurt and offended, and getting up to leave their party. But some will at least start thinking about it.

I used to do volunteer work for a secular organization that just happens to do its work out of a church that is a member of a rather conservative denomination. Many of my fellow volunteers were Christians, and about half of them were members of that church. It took over a year before I finally told anyone I was an atheist, and I did so after some church-member volunteers expressed surprise that two other volunteers were Buddhists and another turned out to be agnostic. I laughed and said, "Well, I'm an atheist. I guess we really are a bag of mixed nuts around here."

They couldn't believe I was an atheist because why would I do charity work if I wasn't commanded by Jesus to help the poor? We had a few conversations about that, and they really were curious as to how I could make moral decisions or act altruistically without divine judgment to back it up. They were never comfortable with my lack of belief, but they sort-of understand my motivations. I didn't expect acceptance from them, and don't believe I got it--but that's okay. I at least challenged their assumptions, which is a start.

(That said, I now volunteer for another secular organization, and the volunteers fall mostly into two groups: atheists/agnostics/freethinkers, and devout-but-mostly-liberal Catholics. I swear, I've never met so many Catholics in my life until I started volunteering for this org. Going in on Ash Wednesday this year, it really hit me. :lol: And it's not a human services org; it's one related to animal welfare. Strange. And the Catholics can't explain it, either. :lol: [/digression])