Poor Sarah (Maxwell)

[pixydust]

The really sad thing about Sarah is that she actually thinks her dad would let her get married in a year or two. I bet every year she tells herself that it will just be another year or two, but we all know that Steve will never ever let it happen. She'll be at home cooking his meals and washing his clothes and bringing in money forever.

Sarah has probably been telling herself that since she was 16 years old! She has been raised to believe that her worth and destiny is in being a wife and mother. I can't imagine waiting half my life for it to begin. Honestly, the more that I read from Sarah, the more I think that she has some long term depression going on.

[pixydust]

I used to buy all my childhood favourite books "for my niece", when she was little. I seem to still have them on my bookcase and they are my guilty pleasure whenever I am in need of a couple of hours hiding away from the real world. Mardie by Astrid Lindgren is my all time favourite, followed by Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfeild.

Oooh, I read "Ballet Shoes" when I was a kid. I think that I read a few by Noel Streatfield, but I'm not sure.

[fundies_like_zombies]

Not so weird for authors. I understand she gets lots of mail from kids who enjoy her books, and probably more than her share from crazies considering there is a high percentage of them in the Maxwell's target audience.

I hadn't thought of that - I wonder if she writes back to them. I never did that writing to celebrities / authors thing but it must be kinda disappointing to write to someone about how much you love their book and not get a response.

[TMS]

I have written to authors many times before, and only one has not written back. That was John Grogan, author of Marley and Me, and it kinda pissed me off that he must think he is too busy and famous to write back. (And I wrote him *before* his book was hugely popular, and way before the movie.)

[HoneyBunny]

Here's what makes me really sad about Sarah Maxwell: She may, indeed, get married at some point (I would guess that if it doesn't happen in the next 5 years, it's not likely to happen). But, as most of us know, being married is not the be-all and end-all of happiness. I've been married for almost 30 years, and most of them have been great, but some of them have been not-so-good. I don't see how waiting until God finds a husband for her, which we all know means waiting until Daddy Maxwell finds a husband for her, is a guarantee that Sarah will lively happily ever after. She could move from one miserable (to us) life to another miserable (for her) life. I read once where there is nothing lonelier than being in a bad marriage, and I tend to agree. But to be in a bad marriage that you thought was ordained by God herself...that would have to be a thousand times worse.

As for some depression going on...I'm not a trained professional, and I'm not certain even a trained professional would profess to such a remote diagnosis, but given what Teri has gone through, and the hereditary aspects of some types of depression, it wouldn't shock me to find out that she is, in fact, depressed. She seems to be trying awfully hard to convince us (and herself) otherwise. Methinks she doth protest too much.

[Daenerys]

Here's what makes me really sad about Sarah Maxwell: She may, indeed, get married at some point (I would guess that if it doesn't happen in the next 5 years, it's not likely to happen). But, as most of us know, being married is not the be-all and end-all of happiness. I've been married for almost 30 years, and most of them have been great, but some of them have been not-so-good. I don't see how waiting until God finds a husband for her, which we all know means waiting until Daddy Maxwell finds a husband for her, is a guarantee that Sarah will lively happily ever after. She could move from one miserable (to us) life to another miserable (for her) life. I read once where there is nothing lonelier than being in a bad marriage, and I tend to agree. But to be in a bad marriage that you thought was ordained by God herself...that would have to be a thousand times worse.

As for some depression going on...I'm not a trained professional, and I'm not certain even a trained professional would profess to such a remote diagnosis, but given what Teri has gone through, and the hereditary aspects of some types of depression, it wouldn't shock me to find out that she is, in fact, depressed. She seems to be trying awfully hard to convince us (and herself) otherwise. Methinks she doth protest too much.

There's also the fact that Teri's miserable existence would make almost anyone depressed, and Sarah lives the same life PLUS has the frustration of being a virgin...

[Marian the Librarian]

There's also the fact that Teri's miserable existence would make almost anyone depressed, and Sarah lives the same life PLUS has the frustration of being a virgin...

Honestly? If the only two choices were sex with someone like Steve, or remaining a virgin, I know which way *I'd* go. :snooty:

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I wouldn't be surprised to find out Sarah is depressed, either.

The thing about marriage is that it's one chance for an actual change in her circumstances. If she marries by her family's rules, she'd still be under a "headship," but it'd be a DIFFERENT headship so something might be different. But even if it's a guy picked by Steve-O, in her new family she would be an adult. Under him, certainly, but not a full child anymore, she'd get to make SOME decisions.

Obviously there are better paths she could take if she actually broke free, but even a marriage within her world would give her a slightly bigger place to move in, I think.

[pomology]

Why would anyone want to read a Moody book? They are SO boring. The children are like robots. I read the excerpts and that was enough. I wasn't exactly on the edge of my seat. What's going to happen in the next chapter? Someone will get angry, apologise for it, get forgiven, refer to Jesus and then there'll be a 'hilarious' family mishap where some milk gets spilt. Riveting stuff.

To be honest, I find the Moody books to be fascinating and kinda want to read them all precisely because they are so fucking dull. Why are little fundie kids writing Sarah about how great these books are? And since the Moodys are an analogue to the Maxwells, I want to know how exactly they suck the fun and interest out of everything.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I'll admit, I'm tempted to buy one myself.

[FloraDoraDolly]

You can get a used copy of "Summer With the Moodys" for around $6 on Amazon. But for some strange reason, her other books are VERY expensive on Amazon. They're going for fifty and sixty bucks. What's up with that?

[pixydust]

You can get a used copy of "Summer With the Moodys" for around $6 on Amazon. But for some strange reason, her other books are VERY expensive on Amazon. They're going for fifty and sixty bucks. What's up with that?

That has to be a mistake of some kind! It's a paperback!

[terranova]

We need an FJ lending library!

[gardenvarietycitizen]

You can get a used copy of "Summer With the Moodys" for around $6 on Amazon. But for some strange reason, her other books are VERY expensive on Amazon. They're going for fifty and sixty bucks. What's up with that?

Okay! I went for it, should be arriving at my house in a week!

So now I've bought two books from American Amazon ever - this and "Strictly Kosher Reading." Wonder what they'll recommend for me next.

[socalrules]

I feel for Sarah because I think that even if she finally gets married, it can only end up being a disappointment. I am sure she will love her children and love her husband in the way she was trained but I wonder if she will get the result she expects. Sarah has been raised that if you do this, that will happen. I am sure she assumes everything will be perfect all the time. The problem is that perfection in a relationship never exists. Even the most loving couples disagree. She has never been raised to engage or resolve conflict. Even in the most fundy family, there has to be conflict, although I doubt any will admit it. What then? Does she know how to reason or present her view on an issue? What happens if the perfect fundy man she marries actually wants her opinion on something? Does she even know how to have her own opinion. I worry that even marriage will open a can of worms she is not capable of handling because she seems have been raised in the most extreme of fundy worlds.

I worry that Steve will pick someone so extreme that Sarah will have been set up to be the perfect victim. All she knows is how to obey, she has no idea how or that she can defend herself or her children. Sometimes I wonder if staying with Steve may be easier than stepping into the unknown with a man that Daddy has chosen for her. I think the Duggar girls could always go home if the marriage went bad. I think Sarah would be forced to stick it out.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Heck. I just got paid, why not... got "Keeping our Childrens' Hearts" off eBay too (I'm happy enough to buy it used, no way I'm ordering it direct though!).

Should be an interesting read. I will keep y'all posted.

[NurseNell]

We need an FJ lending library!

I have the Pearl's book on being a helpmate, I'll send it to someone when I'm done. I got it on Paperbackswap.com but I can't repost it as it really wasn't in postable condition when I got it.

[Jezebel]

We need an FJ lending library!

This is a great idea. When shopping at Goodwill, I occasionally see books that have been discussed here (including Fascinating Womanhood, Created to Be His Helpmeet, and once, a long time ago, the Botkinettes' book). I know I'll never get around to reading them and I'm up to my ears in books already, so I don't buy them. But they're cheap, and Media Mail doesn't cost much, so I wouldn't mind putting them into circulation among my fellow FJers.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Heck. I just got paid, why not... got "Keeping our Childrens' Hearts" off eBay too (I'm happy enough to buy it used, no way I'm ordering it direct though!).

Should be an interesting read. I will keep y'all posted.

Buy used and save the difference-- Jim Bob would be proud!

And when you're finished reading these literary gems, we can have a book discussion. Fun!!!!!!ELEVENTY!!!!!!!!!!!

[anniebgood]

I left a comment, and it'll never see the light of day I am sure. I told her I got married at 32, but I was able to go places to meet people in my own age group and meet and mingle and experience life. I also told her that my parents basically told me to move out (they sold our house and moved into a mobile home park) and our relationship was a lot better after I was on my own. I told Steve that he is doing no one any favors by cloistering his family like he does.

It'll never get posted but I have a tiny itsy bitty hope that Sarah might see it.

Do you wonder if someone sent mail to Sarah, it would get to her unopened or does Daddy censor her personal mail too? Isn't that a federal offense, to open someone else's mail?

[B5SnowDog]

Reading about Moody Publishers reminded me of a Christian children's series I haven't read in ages - The Sugar Creek Gang. I remember enjoying the books but I don't know if I'd like them now. Has anyone else read them?

[Witsec7]

I left a comment, and it'll never see the light of day I am sure. I told her I got married at 32, but I was able to go places to meet people in my own age group and meet and mingle and experience life. I also told her that my parents basically told me to move out (they sold our house and moved into a mobile home park) and our relationship was a lot better after I was on my own. I told Steve that he is doing no one any favors by cloistering his family like he does.

It'll never get posted but I have a tiny itsy bitty hope that Sarah might see it.

Do you wonder if someone sent mail to Sarah, it would get to her unopened or does Daddy censor her personal mail too? Isn't that a federal offense, to open someone else's mail?

I think its highly unlikely that anyone in that family is permitted personal communication with another individual. I sincerely believe that even family member are not permitted to have personal communication with each other without an accountability partner being present.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I think its highly unlikely that anyone in that family is permitted personal communication with another individual. I sincerely believe that even family member are not permitted to have personal communication with each other without an accountability partner being present.

I wonder what would happen if someone wrote to Nathan or Christopher and begged them to please help their poor sister?

[rebelsaint]

I just looked at a photo of Sarah for the first time. I can't believe she's 30! She looks about 14. Definitely a side effect of how she's been raised.

I too wonder if she's depressed. Being told since you're little that a prince will just appear in front of you one day and you'll fall in love and get married... And then to be 30 and not have that yet... has got to take an emotional toll.

Fundie Courtship does not work. On the bright side, there's no way this movement can last that long if none of the daughters are pro-creating.

[darkplumaged]

I sincerely believe that even family member are not permitted to have personal communication with each other without an accountability partner being present.

That's terrifying. I'm not sure even the Maxwells would go that far, but if anyone would, it would be them.