Poor Sarah (Maxwell)

[gardenvarietycitizen]

And definitely not the Moody Blues, either!

I wonder why Sarah felt the need to reiterate how fulfilling and wonderful her single life is? She wrote the same thing two months ago when she turned 30. I wonder if Steve is getting questions/criticism from fellow fundies about this? I agree in the secular world 30 and single is no big deal. Hell, 60 and single should be no big deal.

The thing is, if fundy parents of little girls see that the Maxwell courtship model doesn't work for their daughters, how is Steve ever going to get people to come to his courtship seminars, and sell the courtship book he is reportedly writing?

ETA: What do you all suppose this not-too-exciting Moody book Sarah is writing is about? Moody Recipes? Maybe we'll finally get that Fruit Pizza recipe we've been waiting for!

I have no evidence but I suspect that Steve is getting some heat, either lurking here or elsewhere and seeing commentary, or else getting direct comments to his own blog (comments which he never publishes, of course). People are wondering about Sarah, because she's 30 and would appear to be a great catch for someone, and yet we see no movement at ALL on that front - no courting, no opportunities to leave the house, no tutoring, no volunteering, no... contact with anyone. She gets mail from her readers (which is sweet I'm sure, but they're what, seven?) and that's it.

They are just SO damn isolated. From the first day I posted here, it's always the same wonder with me - they sit around waxing romantic about the wonders of staying home and being all domestic, praying for The Lord (!!) to deliver them husbands, but do absolutely NOTHING AT ALL to bring about the chance for that to happen. I don't care how pious you are or how much you pray, you can't find a husband if you're not meeting people or putting yourself out in some venue to be approached.

If they're going to totally cloister, they need a matchmaker system or guided dating meetups. Heck, even some official system for people to approach Steve would be a start. But they don't have any of it, because this is a radical new experiment, it's in no way shape or form traditional, and wow, yeah, we're seeing what happens after about 20-30 years of this.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

And definitely not the Moody Blues, either!

Ha! I think we now have a new definition of "Moody Blues" - there's the band, and then there's "Sarah Maxwell has the Moody Blues."

[tabitha2]

She probably won't ever get a chance to try out any Pearl Jam either :whistle:

[WonderingInWA]

Ha! I think we now have a new definition of "Moody Blues" - there's the band, and then there's "Sarah Maxwell has the Moody Blues."

Love it!

[polabear]

Sarah just seems so dipped in the koolaid that there is no way she could ever break free so I do feel sorry for her. In her world she is stuck with the role of spinster and yet if she would enter the wide world she would be in the prime of life. She very much reminds me of a character from a Lucy Maude Montgomery book (character= Valancy, book= Blue Castle). The heroine of this book is stuck at home living a life of mind numbing routine and false piety and propriety. Then she get a health scare and decides it is now or never and leaves home,gets a makeover, gets a job, stops worrying about what people think, asks a man to marry her and basically fixes all the problems in her life. I wish I could give Sarah a copy of this book. Anyway, here is the sentence that I find saddest of all:

"It’s nothing too exciting for most of you, but I’ll tell you all about it in May." :cry:

I LOVED that book. Its a perfect parallel. I bet Sarah Maxwell's family still tells a story like how Valancy got into the jam when he was 8 years old. :)

[kpmom]

She probably won't ever get a chance to try out any Pearl Jam either :whistle:

Naughty, naughty, Tabitha! :naughty:

[lilwriter85]

I also think Steve is probably getting criticism or questions from other fundies regarding Sarah. I have noticed some of the same things that people have mentioned in this thread regarding some of the daughters of the elite fundie families not being courted. The Duggars girls aren't too old at this point, so some fundies probably aren't questioning why Boob has married one of them off. Sarah is 30 and that is considered old to be single in the fundie world.

Like gardenvarietycitizen said, they are so damn isolated. At least some of the fundie elite families socialize a lot but the Maxwells don't put themselves out there that much unless it is an event that they are at to make money.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I think she's just tired of being asked if there is a courtship when obviously the Prince who could meet with Daddy's approval hasn't spoken up yet and likely never will, poor girl.

[Koala]

I am thinking she's in a depression. I have a very close friend who lived a life similar to Sarah Maxwell. Her parents literally had a form for potential suitors to fill out. Only none ever came. She fell into a deep depression and the next thing we knew they married her off to some guy that wasn't fit to marry. It was awful.

[GeoBQn]

I really hate to think of what is going to happen to Sarah and the other "spinster" women if they never get married. My great-aunt didn't get married until her late 40's, and she was only married for four years before her husband died of a heart attack. She lived with her parents before she got married, and then for the rest of their lives. She wasn't completely a SAHD--she worked as an executive secretary for several prominent charities in our city, she traveled the world, she had a winter apartment in Florida. She had her own life outside of her parents' house.

Recently, we were cleaning out my grandmother's apartment and I found a letter my mom sent to my great-aunt. Apparently, after her mother died my great-aunt was planning on moving to Florida permanently. My mom begged my great-aunt not to move, saying that nobody thought of her as a burden and that things wouldn't be the same without "you living in YOUR home!" Even though she had a successful career, my great-aunt thought she was just occupying space at her mother's home and would be a burden to the rest of the family. I hate to think of Sarah Maxwell believing the same thing about herself.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I really hate to think of what is going to happen to Sarah and the other "spinster" women if they never get married.

The problem is greater for these women than for, say, single career women. These ladies have spent their lives fearing everything and never doing anything alone and asking permission for the stupidit things. How on Earth can they meet someone? Maybe like in Gone With the Wind, like Ashley's sister India they could catch a widower with a large family if they tried. Woo-hoo go from being a drudge in one big family to another.

[tabitha2]

Most other young Fundies meet their spouses and make friends from those ATI or VF conferences,mission trips and other outings.They may isolate themselves to one degree or another from the mainstream but they are allowed live not just exist.

[Koala]

The girls are totally the reason for the Church of the Holy Nursing Home. They won't be finding any husbands there.

[johnhugh]

I would say that one of the reasons Stevie Sarah wrote this latest post is due to the many comments on here concerning Sarah being single. It's just further proof that Stevie lurks on her to add to the growing list of blog enteries and comments being edited after they are flagged up on her.

[NurseNell]

Also, they were invated by termites! I didn't know there were termites in Kansas. I though they were found further south. Maybe Stevies large, well stacked wood pile attracted them. :shock:

Termites are everywhere. We have them in MN.

[Marian the Librarian]

What's interesting is how poorly the fundie courtship model is working for so many of these elite families. Look at the Duggars--not a single daughter married off. Same with the Botkins. Same for the Bauchams. We've already been talking about the Maxwells.

Bingo - because, as also pointed out in this thread and elsewhere, it really has nothing to do with worshiping God, or Jesus - it's all about the cult of worshiping Daddy. (I second the fantasy of running into Steve and wanting to smack the daylights out of him.) :evil:

[freejoytoo]

Why would anyone want to read a Moody book? They are SO boring. The children are like robots. I read the excerpts and that was enough. I wasn't exactly on the edge of my seat. What's going to happen in the next chapter? Someone will get angry, apologise for it, get forgiven, refer to Jesus and then there'll be a 'hilarious' family mishap where some milk gets spilt. Riveting stuff.

[Pclee]

LOL at the Moody books... I haven't read any of them, but growing up I did read a lot of "Miller" stories by Rod and Staff publications. The children were SO GODLY and NEVER did anything like real children do.

I'd sooner let my children read more secular stories that have more realistic life scenarios for children, along with good morals, than Moody/Miller books with unrealistically good and holy children doing EVERYTHING right. If anything, it probably frustrated me as a child that I could never be as good as "in the story books."

But then thinking of it, maybe Sarah and her siblings were Moody-like all their lives... wouldn't surprise me... :?

[freejoytoo]

I used to love Milly-Molly-Mandy, which I suppose is surprising as she never did anything wrong and there was a moral in each story, but it was more subtle. There were very few references to Jesus and she acted like a normal child with normal child problems (like what to do when she has two invitations at once, not what to do if she can't find her Bible). Did anybody else read those? I LOVED them.

[YPestis]

When I read that posting from Sarah, it made me sad. I'm unsure if Steve is trying to address Sarah's single status with the post. More likely, Sarah herself is upset that she's still unmarried. Even in the secular world, a 30 year old single gal who wants a family is going to start feeling frustrated. I've noticed the Maxwell website started sprinkling "hoping for a husband" hints around her late 20's. This is only the second time they've so publicly addressed her singlehood head on.

I think hitting the bit 3-0 is reinforcing Sarah's single-ness and increasing the urgency to marry. Sarah has trained her entire life to be someone's wife and mother. Those are the only two things she is skilled to do. Now, she's seeing her sister in laws having babies, and herself turning 30 with no courtship in sight. This would have a devastating affect on any young girl in that culture.

Steve can prattle on about waiting for God's direction. The simple truth is the family has made no effort to help her meet anyone. They are so concerned with "protecting" her purity that it will be the only thing to grow old with her. She is allowed no outside interest, no outside friend, no group activities with people her own age.....Steve must truly be praying for a miracle if he wants Sarah to marry. The sad thing is, God may work miracles, but more commonly, he works through people. Steve and Teri can't expect a fundie guy to show up on their doorstep waiting to court Sarah sight unseen. However, that is probably the only way Sarah will get a husband.

Steve himself is probably feeling defensive. He's trying to sell the family lifestyle with a 30 year old spinster daughter and an adult son who didn't marry until age 30. In fundie culture, those are pretty big fails. If the other two girls are also single and waiting after age 25, people will really start to talk and the family will have a hard time defending their lifestyle.

[bananacat]

Here's the thing. The fundie courtship model is working absolutely perfectly for the royalty Patriarchs. They get to find meek wives for their sons so they get grandkids, but they also get to keep their adoring daughters around forever. The daughters become attractive young ladies right around the time that the Patriarch's wives start aging. And these are daughters who have been trained since birth to literally worship their fathers. The Botkins are the perfect example of the daughters replacing the wives in all ways except sex, but you see it to some extent with most of the royalty. Jim Bob has 5 young women who dote on him and cater to his every whim without a moment of hesitation. Why would he ever give that up? He still gets to expand his empire through his sons. Letting daughters get married is strictly for the poorer Patriarchs who can't afford to support them long-term. They all strive to be royalty so they can afford to keep their daughters at home, worshiping them forever.

The really sad thing about Sarah is that she actually thinks her dad would let her get married in a year or two. I bet every year she tells herself that it will just be another year or two, but we all know that Steve will never ever let it happen. She'll be at home cooking his meals and washing his clothes and bringing in money forever.

[Justme]

I wonder if Sarah gets to open all those letters herself, or if Daddy opens & screens them first. Couldn't have some guy (or FJ-er ;) ) communicating with her....

[WonderingInWA]

I wonder if Sarah gets to open all those letters herself, or if Daddy opens & screens them first. Couldn't have some guy (or FJ-er ;) ) communicating with her....

I'm SURE he opens her mail for her (like any other prison inmate). Can you imagine if some guy sent her a crotch shot photo? He's got to make sure that doesn't ever meet her virgin eyes.

[Letgo]

Poor Sarah. She believes she is still a SAHD at age 30 because God wants her to continue to do such great work writing the Moody series. As if marriage would prevent writing? I feel so sorry for her. I can't see her ever leaving of her own accord because life outside is SINFUL. All sorts of evil lurks in the world, just waiting to tempt her. Besides, how could she support herself even if she wanted to leave? She has a limited education and no job training to speak of. I wonder if she gets to keep any of the money from the sales of the Moody books. Anna and Mary are probably looking at Sarah and dreading the future.

[Guest Anonymous]

I used to love Milly-Molly-Mandy, which I suppose is surprising as she never did anything wrong and there was a moral in each story, but it was more subtle. There were very few references to Jesus and she acted like a normal child with normal child problems (like what to do when she has two invitations at once, not what to do if she can't find her Bible). Did anybody else read those? I LOVED them.

I loved Milly Molly Mandy too! I don't remember the references to Jesus though. They were very simple stories but they dealt with childhood issues in a moral way while still having an entertaining and very human story.

I loved the one where MMM went to a party and spotted a cute little bunny rabbit toy as one of the prizes, and decided to try really hard in the games so she could win him. She ended up winning first prize, which was a big china doll, but then found a little girl crying because she had come last and won the booby prize which was the bunny MMM had wanted... so they swapped and both went home happy. It was a cute and clever little story, with no-one sent to a prayer closet for covetousness or ingratitude, as you could imagine happening in the Moody house.

There was also the one where Teacher needed temporary accommodation for some reason and was invited to stay at MMM's house. I remember reading that at the age where I was only just beginning to realise that teachers were real people who had lives outside school, and I was fascinated by the way Teacher helped MMM with baking, and acted in silly, fun ways when she was a house guest.

I think that many kids do like gentle, simple stories, but the Moody series is so damn boring, it is beyond words.

I wonder if Sarah's "May Moody plans" are an attempt by Steve to keep Sarah busy when she faces the very mixed emotions of welcoming new babies into the family that remind her of her own loneliness and declining fertility.