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Catholics are actually aliens


The Archivist

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So, Candy just wrote a post (actually, she mostly just recycled this post from the past):

joyfulchristianhomemaking.blogspot.com/2012/02/apparitions-ufos-aliens-abductions-and.html

about how aliens are real - but they're not aliens, they are fallen angels, they are mating with human woman and producing "hybrids," and these hybrids are Catholics.

I am so not even kidding.

(Yes, I wrote a post - http://www.thecandyarchive.com/2012/02/ ... bbit-hole/ - mods please give me a note if this link is too spammy.)

But this is just SO crazy it can't be confined to my blog.

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Ok, the Vatican will shortly be sending the probe to get me before I finish the post, so I will hurry. It is completely true. I was raised on this planet, but, I really come from Immaculate Conceptia, whch is about 87 million miles from this galaxy. There, all women wear plaid skirts, white blouses, cover their heads in the Mothership, and men wear Khakis and Blue oxfords.

Our primary diet is Jesus and babies (remember, Cathloics believe in transubstantiation!).

We are here to force you to worships Saints and Mary. Except, I went rogue, and chewed out my mark of The Whore of Babylon...oh no....goodbye...spread the TRUTH

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Oh no! I just read her Black Thread series out of order. Sitting here waiting for lightening to strike.

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So, Candy just wrote a post (actually, she mostly just recycled this post from the past):

joyfulchristianhomemaking.blogspot.com/2012/02/apparitions-ufos-aliens-abductions-and.html

about how aliens are real - but they're not aliens, they are fallen angels, they are mating with human woman and producing "hybrids," and these hybrids are Catholics.

I am so not even kidding.

(Yes, I wrote a post - http://www.thecandyarchive.com/2012/02/ ... bbit-hole/ - mods please give me a note if this link is too spammy.)

But this is just SO crazy it can't be confined to my blog.

Wait, what? :shock: This subject makes me so mad when fundies say that Catholics are not Christians. Yes, you stupid idiots, Catholics are in fact Christians. :evil:

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Not only are they not Christians, ladypuglover, they are so far from being Christians that they are not even really human.

I'll see your not-Christian and raise you a DEVIL-ALIEN-HUMAN HYBRID.

[Disclaimer]

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Oh no, she found out our secret! I guess we'll all have to go back to our planet now...

We are on our way to get you. Pack a bag.

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Wow. I've actually heard a lot of that before from my own family and friends, but never that there are hybrids on earth today. :shock: (I have heard that the pyramids were built by angel-human hybrids, though.)

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Ok, the Vatican will shortly be sending the probe to get me before I finish the post, so I will hurry. It is completely true. I was raised on this planet, but, I really come from Immaculate Conceptia, whch is about 87 million miles from this galaxy. There, all women wear plaid skirts, white blouses, cover their heads in the Mothership, and men wear Khakis and Blue oxfords.

Our primary diet is Jesus and babies (remember, Cathloics believe in transubstantiation!).

We are here to force you to worships Saints and Mary. Except, I went rogue, and chewed out my mark of The Whore of Babylon...oh no....goodbye...spread the TRUTH

You owe me a new laptop screen now.... :lol: :lol:

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I haven't been Catholic in about 15 years, so am I still an alien or not? My husband was also raised Catholic, so does this mean we have pure blood fallen angel children? Can we still get wings? I could really use some wings when rush hour traffic is on. :dance:

She needs to answer these important questions for us aliens who don't know.

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I haven't been Catholic in about 15 years, so am I still an alien or not? My husband was also raised Catholic, so does this mean we have pure blood fallen angel children? Can we still get wings? I could really use some wings when rush hour traffic is on. :dance:

She needs to answer these important questions for us aliens who don't know.

That's what I would like to know too! I haven't been catholic for about 10 years, and have reproduced now 2x with a Protestant turned Jew. WHAT is the status of my otherworldliness?!!?!!!?!?

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You're an alien if you've ever been Catholic. I just asked the Pope, who has removed his human wrapper. He kind of resembles Oscar the Grouch. The Mothership is actually really posh, but lacking in Birth Control. There is plenty of Wine.

SpeshulTatertot and her cats are so cute! I am so glad she packed cake.

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Seriously?!? Has she been watching the one Futurama episode where the past by all the planets for different types of people and one of them is "New World Order" except in her case it's "New Catholic Order" as her proof?

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Just don't let the cats get into the cake, sugar makes them hyper.

It's such a shame I have to leave now. I just found the perfect dinner plates, but there was no room for them in my bag.

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Someone better get that mothership over here and pick me up. Its 15' out and my son just made homemade fudge so surely I am worthy for the alien planet. I have 1/2 a bottle of chocolate wine I am willing to kick in too...

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Oh, Candy again and nothing new.

While I agree that Catholics stay aliens even if they convert, I think the pope looks more like Darth Sidious clad in white to confuse us, confirms his status as alien further.

Is Candy herself married to an alien? Her husband was raised Catholic, wasn't he, before he "found Christ"?

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Oh, Candy again and nothing new.

While I agree that Catholics stay aliens even if they convert, I think the pope looks more like Darth Sidious clad in white to confuse us, confirms his status as alien further.

Is Candy herself married to an alien? Her husband was raised Catholic, wasn't he, before he "found Christ"?

Oh, so her children are also aliens? Can someone tell her that?(I don't follow her)

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Oh, so her children are also aliens? Can someone tell her that?(I don't follow her)

You folks will have to go pick the kids up in the mothership.

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Duh. Of course not. You go straight to hell, because you were probably sprinkled with water as a baby and received no baptism, which is necessary for salvation, and never heard the gospel, only perversions through your ministers, who DO NOT READ THE KJV!

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In my church we have a stray cat attend services and we use the Good News Bible ie a translation made in the 60s (the decade of librul evil). HELLBOUND.

(fwiw I was raised by atheists and was not baptised as a baby and was baptised by full immersion at 18, although I did get confirmed at 22 and go to a church with ~liturgy and ~candles and even a Lady Chapel because I'm a heathen like that)

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We really do have a cat join us - she normally sits by the radiator during services but today she snoozed in the pulpit. Apparently she also visits the local Methodist church :D

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