Cost of a baby

[celestial]

So Smockity Frocks has this "open letter" up to some TV talk show host who apparently said the cost of a baby is $700-$1000 a month. Smockity is, of course, outraged, because her little Smockababies cost less than $70 a month. For those of you with kids, how much did adding a child to your life increase your cost of living each month? I work in a not-very-high-paying field, but would love to have a child someday (with or without a partner...that all depends). So I'm interested to hear conservative estimates of how much a child realistically costs. Somehow I don't trust Smockity to give an accurate number to raise a child in a decent level of comfort! (ie, I'm willing to forgo the cable, but no one's going to be sleeping on a shelf!)

Here's the blog entry:

smockityfrocks.com/2011/12/an-open-letter-to-suze-orman.html

[Beeks]

For us, a heck of a lot. First of all, the births themselves cost money. We have excellent insurance but with the first in the hospital I think we paid $4000 out of pocket and with the second at a birth center we paid $900 out of pocket. Then, I cannot breastfeed, so we use formula. I use organic only, which is about $20/can. We go through 4-6 cans a month for my 8-month-old. It really depends on their age.

When my first was born, we got almost all the "big" stuff gifted to us - crib, changing table, carseat, strollers, etc. I didn't even have to buy the kid clothes until recently (and he is almost 2.5 now!). It's also great that I had a second boy because now the little one is wearing all the big one's clothes. HOWEVER. My first turned out to have some special needs, and the doctor's bills for that add up incredibly fast. We have very good insurance but 20% co-insurance and I'd say we pay at least $400/month on average in medical bills. Some months have been $1000 or more.

All that to say - a lot of unforeseen things can happen (not being able to breastfeed, kids with more medical needs than average, etc) to make the bills go up really fast. There are no guarantees.

edited for riffle

[dawbs]

Honestly, $700-1000 seems ridiculous to me *IF things go as planned. (*big if, I know)

Costs I can think of, from the past year, broken down by moth:

-Diapers, $20/month (we do cloth 75% and this is probably about what it breaks down to when I divide the year's worth of cloth diapers by 12 and figure in laundry costs)

-Child care, $75/month (the Mr. and I work opposite schedules [he's a SAHD 2 days a week, I'm SAHM 3 days a week] and family takes kiddo most of the time--this is probably more than I pay but I do have someone who watches kiddo occasionally)

-Food, $40/month (this is probably more than I pay, but that's about 1/12th the cost of a breast pump [and all the supplies that go with that--bags, accessories, car adapter, nursing pads, etc] plus the cost of jarred baby food and 'extras' [teething biscuits, boxes of raisins for the diaper bag, stock in cheerios, etc]--this, of course, assumes BFing works)

'STUFF'-$100/month (some of this was un-necessary but assume 1/12th the cost of 2 sizes of car seats, a stroller, a cheap crib, a cheap changing table, toys etc. I'll say that we paid WAY less than this because of how much was gifted to us. But we could have swung it for less than $100/month)

-Medical-$20 a month to add the 'family' coverage to our insurance (I'm very lucky) and cover copays

-Clothes-$20/month (they're outgrown like mad, but I do confess that most of the kiddo's clothes that *I* buy her are 2nd hand or super-de-duper-clearanced)

Now, that can (and WILL) go up when she ages, but I am pretty sure we paid less than $300/month for my kiddo the first year of her existence.

Although we still couldn't afford (if we wanted to) for me to quit and stay home--that *could* be where that pesky $700-1000/month number that she says Suze Orman insisted on comes from?

[clibbyjo]

Depends on the age and activities. I would saybabies are much cheaper than teens. I spend a couple hundred a month on the older 2 because of sports and braces payments. The younger one has no activities yet so he is only eating food and playing video games until he starts fencing next summer.:)

Right now, my girl is most expensive because hockey is a very expensive sport. We pay in installments, so say its about $120 a month year round just for hockey.That doesn't even count equipment,matching team shirts and warm ups,pictures, out of state touraments with hotels,gas and food. Her braces payment in $150 a month, Piano lessons $40. Add in acting which will start in Jan will cost about $45 a month. Various other classes, field trips,tanks of gas to drive 4hrs,to hockey games every weekend and food out,clothes,school stuff and regular food it is easy $600 a month.

I spent $222.40 yesterday on electric fencing equipment for my oldest, but once they have the equipment its just monthy dues and competitions fees . His braces are off so that payment is done. He hates clothes, but he eats a ton but still on an average month I would say a few hundred if I add for school stuff/classes.

My kids are homeschooled, so I spend a lot of money every month on classes and driving to fieldtrips. It varies month to month what I spend depending on where we are going. Also, if I buy an expensive math program ,each kid will use that when they get to that grade, so its really hard to estimate.

[CanticleoftheTurning]

Like you, DH and I are looking at having kids someday, but it'll be a couple more years. But let's see, with babies you have to factor in the cost of:

Bigger housing. Unless the couple already a bedroom or two for the children, they will need to upgrade to a slightly larger house or apartment. That can easily add on a couple hundred per month, a factor not everybody realizes.

Diapers. Unless they're granola and go with cloth diapers, that adds up. How much is a pack of diapers anymore? Last I checked it was maybe $10/pack? (It's been a while since my siblings were babies.) If you change diapers 5 times a day, then that's 35 diapers a week.

Formula (sole or supplementary). Unless the mother is blessed with the ability to nurse, formula is helpful. Last I checked, they were like $20/can. I remember at some points my mom was going through 3 cans or so per month.

Baby food. That shit is expensive.

Clothes. Babies grow so quickly. And they will need a couple of change of clothes a day, thanks to spitup, diaper overruns, etc.

Toys. Babies need toys, no matter what the FLDS whackos say. They need to learn.

And then Suze might be amortizing the cost of bigger items over the span of baby-hood. Like a crib, that's an upfront cost, but if you divide it up into months that the baby will be using it, then that might be something like $25/mo (Okay, I'm bullshitting numbers ,but you get the idea). Baby gates, car seats, strollers, safety locks, edge bumpers, etc etc etc..

So, I don't think smockity is taking into account the bigger purchases when calculating.

One thing though, is that the cost of subsequent babies becomes smaller up to a certain point thanks to economic principles. With baby #2, you can re-use the capital assets like carseats, strollers, crib, etc, reducing the total effective monthly cost of a baby to the cost of the consumable items like food or diapers.

Oh yeah. Health insurance. There will be a slight increase in doctor bills because of the baby's checkups. It's not bad in the grand scheme of things, but it is another cost to consider.

[maybeizfundie]

A baby?

For us, not much at all. The main new thing we have to buy is a good carseat. Aside from that, the biggest expense is diapers and I've learned how to shop for them in a way that doesn't dig into our budget too severely. We have family insurance through dh's work, and it is the same whether it's just me on there, or me and 7 kids. I breastfed into toddlerhood and personally found jarred baby food (and all those newfangled "levels" of kid meals)completely unnecessary (but such a great marketing and moneymaking concept!). No reason to buy mashed peas in a teeny jar when I can buy a pound of peas for the same price and mash them myself. :) For friends of mine, their babies are hugely expensive--she's had two premies (24 weeks, I think), so tons of medical expenses. For my sister, her baby was expensive because she had trouble nursing and had to use formula, and also wasn't in a position to stay at home, so ended up paying daycare costs.

We're fairly low-income. Our cost of living has varied much more by where we live than how many kids we have. It would drop dramatically if we moved into the township next to my parent's township, and it would go up if we moved farther into the city. I have never broken it down by kid. Not a math brain. But I know that we live quite reasonably (all bills and utilities paid up, housing-older 3 br house we got through a forclosure sale, eating plenty, having gas for the cars, saving a little each month) on about $1200-1500/month (so with three kids, that clearly doesn't work out to even $700/mo per child). We are expecting our 4th, and prices are going up for so much, especially for food, but even if I said maybe $2000/month for living expenses, over the next year or so, it still doesn't fit Suze Orman's numbers) Some of that is where we live, and some of that is how we live/lifestyle choices. Not everybody wants to live like we do. And we will see an increase in the grocery bill as the kids get older (and towards that end, we are thinking about and considering the possibility of raising a decent portion of our own food, but we will have to move in order to do that).

I would say my first was most expensive. Because we started from scratch. After that, we already had many items we needed, as well as a little more practice in aquiring those things frugally.

I think that both "babies cost nothing" and "babies are insanely expensive" are hugely simplistic. The truth is there's a huge range, depending on a gazillion variables within each situation. I can't say ours cost "nothing". But I can say what cost they added to our living expenses (or what cost in terms of time and energy in lowering actual financial cost) was so worth it that we've done it several times over. :)

[Rosa]

Well, I quit my job for the first two years, so that's about $4000/mo for those years (maybe a little less, the company was headed down the shitter when I left, so I'm not sure how long that job would have lasted).

Then when I went back to work, child care was $1000/mo.

I would have to go look up copays & stuff, since my kid is kind of sickly. The birth didn't cost US much ($200) except of course the time I couldnt' work before I gave birth was unpaid sick time (5 weeks) and then I got 60% pay for 6 weeks of disability insurance after he was born.

[BlackHawk]

Well, I quit my job for the first two years, so that's about $4000/mo for those years (maybe a little less, the company was headed down the shitter when I left, so I'm not sure how long that job would have lasted).

Then when I went back to work, child care was $1000/mo.

I would have to go look up copays & stuff, since my kid is kind of sickly. The birth didn't cost US much ($200) except of course the time I couldnt' work before I gave birth was unpaid sick time (5 weeks) and then I got 60% pay for 6 weeks of disability insurance after he was born.

1000/month for childcare? Holy crap! I suppose that's regional... I work in childcare and have NEVER seen costs that much. That just seems insane to me.

[emmiedahl]

Babies are not too expensive. But children are immensely expensive. It's an important thing to keep in mind--even if you can afford a baby, you might not be able to afford a child. My youngest has cost us very little--we cloth diaper and breastfeed and get baby food from WIC. He wears entirely hand-me-downs and clothing given as gifts. But as children get older, they wear out their clothes and it is difficult to get as many hand-me-downs or to find things that suit their sense of style at thrift stores, so I do have to buy a certain amount of clothing. Extracurricular things are expensive--some more than others, but you cannot really predict if your kid will have an expensive talent or a cheap one.

As kids get older, the incidental expenses go up--they want certain haircuts or pink streaks or a certain nail polish color or art supplies or to go to a movie with their friends or new violin strings or $20 for a field trip. With 5 children, I can guarantee that every week will bring new things the children want (that are quite reasonable but add up). It varies by kid, but most parents spend a lot on incidental stuff. They are not *needs*, but they are quality of life things.

[PBrooke]

Starting income has a lot to do with it too, I think. For instance, one of my siblings has special needs, but because we were already so poor (or maybe it was just due to the specific special needs, this was a long time ago so I'm fuzzy) we got some government assistance for the special needs (we didn't use food stamps or anything like that, though). My sibling was homeschooled due to the specific needs, but my older siblings and I went to public school. Band was my major activity, so I paid maybe something like $25 a year to rent a school instrument, and when I got into high school, maybe between $50-$100 a year for uniform costs, things like that. I didn't do private lessons, but I was still first chair and section leader. Our senior band trip was a few hundred, but we had tons of fundraisers to help with that. Other than that, there weren't many associated costs, unless you count the cost of gas - my mother went to every football game and performance, whether home or away. Most parents didn't do that, though.

The other main activity I did as a teenager was drama club, acting in plays, whatnot. Absolutely no costs associated with that, that I can remember.

Of course it would have been more expensive if I'd been in dance or some other sport. Everyone knew those activities were more expensive. I don't know how much of my disinterest was natural, and how much was because I knew it wasn't really feasible.

[Angri-la]

I realize this is about newborns, but my attempts to be a mother have been very expensive, more emotionally than financially. But, even an older child isn't cheap, when you are starting from scratch.

We brought home a just on the cusp of 4 year old, and it was expensive to bring her home, because of the legal bills. We wanted a child, so that was our priority and savings for that was our utmost concern.

Her therapy is covered partially, but we still pay some, as I want her to have what she needs.

We had to buy every damn thing. We were, honestly, hoping for an infant, so I had been, stupidly, buying baby stuff (which, hell yes, even "gently used" is expensive). I donated all of it to a shelter and started over. Clothes, furniture, toys, books, food. Ladybug is worth every damn penny, though. If I had a million dollars to spend, I would have spent it to have her, happily.

[PBrooke]

Babies are not too expensive. But children are immensely expensive. It's an important thing to keep in mind--even if you can afford a baby, you might not be able to afford a child. My youngest has cost us very little--we cloth diaper and breastfeed and get baby food from WIC. He wears entirely hand-me-downs and clothing given as gifts. But as children get older, they wear out their clothes and it is difficult to get as many hand-me-downs or to find things that suit their sense of style at thrift stores, so I do have to buy a certain amount of clothing. Extracurricular things are expensive--some more than others, but you cannot really predict if your kid will have an expensive talent or a cheap one.

As kids get older, the incidental expenses go up--they want certain haircuts or pink streaks or a certain nail polish color or art supplies or to go to a movie with their friends or new violin strings or $20 for a field trip. With 5 children, I can guarantee that every week will bring new things the children want (that are quite reasonable but add up). It varies by kid, but most parents spend a lot on incidental stuff. They are not *needs*, but they are quality of life things.

Point that popped into my head from this, sort of ties into what I was saying about band and drama - the wants of a kid also have to do with their peers. For example, while my family was very poor, most of the kids at my junior high were even worse off. There was no sense of "keeping up with the Joneses." There were still fads and trends, but you do what you can within your means (for example, there literally was a trend of pink streaks in my junior high, but a)permanent, "unnatural" hair dye would result in suspension and b) no way was anyone going to go to a salon. Kids used everything from highlighters to Halloween spray. Older kids did it themselves, at home, with Manic Panic). I'm not saying that things don't get more expensive with teens - they do - but everyone's expectations are different.

[haveapicniclife]

I have 3 kids and I haven't spent much at all. Like next to nothing. I stopped working after we had #1 so there was no real loss of income there, and we're military so we've had free medical for everything. I didn't pay a bill for any of the 3 births (or anything after that, really). I never did the full out nursery, breastfed and cloth diapered the last one. Very minimal but cute stuff, IKEA furniture, thrift store clothing or hand-me-downs with about 30% new stuff mixed in.

Now that they are older, our biggest expense with them is (in order): Food, Clothing/Shoes, Dental (whatever my insurance doesn't pick up), and School Activities. I spend about $800-$1000 a month on groceries! Our housing is also a big one, we have a 4/3 on base that our BAH covers (aka $1740 a month) and then I pay another $150 a month for going over our electricity allotment. Luckily we're debt free and live below our means (unlike most of our neighbors, who seem to live above theirs).

ETA-- I don't mean to sound flippant, my youngest is pestering me right now so brevity is my friend. ;) Also, when you have a cute little baby no one tells you how quickly they will outgrow shoes or jeans when they are 12 and 10. OY. Or how much the field trips and activities cost x 3 kids.

[emmiedahl]

Point that popped into my head from this, sort of ties into what I was saying about band and drama - the wants of a kid also have to do with their peers. For example, while my family was very poor, most of the kids at my junior high were even worse off. There was no sense of "keeping up with the Joneses." There were still fads and trends, but you do what you can within your means (for example, there literally was a trend of pink streaks in my junior high, but a)permanent, "unnatural" hair dye would result in suspension and b) no way was anyone going to go to a salon. Kids used everything from highlighters to Halloween spray. Older kids did it themselves, at home, with Manic Panic). I'm not saying that things don't get more expensive with teens - they do - but everyone's expectations are different.

Granted, Manic Panic and nail polish are just fads and certainly not necessary to a good childhood, but they are the cheap expenses so I don't really mind them. Things like violin are super expensive, and we started back when we were pretty well off and now would feel bad about stopping. Also, field trips at $20 a kid, haircuts for teenaged boy, special sprinting cleats for track, etc are not really wants or needs completely. I can't think of the last time my baby had an incidental expense, but I have to send craft materials to two different elementary school classrooms this week, my 16 year old needs a haircut, and my 4 year old has been harassing me for ballet lessons. If you are going to have children, either have money or get really good at saying no to completely reasonable requests.

[Witsec7]

OT--Aside from the basics of life many of the parents posting on this thread value enrichment activities, social activities, sports, braces and some childcare for the younger children. In reading this thread I'm observing that these activities are valuable to many of us and our children. And they are the same items that cause folks like the Jeubs et al to demonize us. When the religious bloggers go off about secular parenting they view their families as complete social and economic units that are self sustaining and our desire to provide our kids with social activities, good dentition, are selfish and ungodly.

[emmiedahl]

My general test for spending money is: will this make them a better adult? So violin lessons=yes, braces=yes, the latest toy=no, etc. But I often find myself saying no to things that might make them a better adult, simply for financial reasons, and that sucks. I am not afraid to say that it sucks. Unlike fundies, I can admit that. I'm glad this is somewhat temporary, and glad that we have wealthy families that will occasionally spring for summer camp or American Eagle sweatshirts or whatever.

[Boogalou]

I'm not a parent but I know how much I cost my parents :) I think that in calculating the costs of a kid you should also factor in if you want to help pay for their post-secondary education and, if so, how much. I have friends with parents who pay anywhere from absolutely no financial help whatsoever to paying for the whole thing. And paying for the whole thing can be from $10 000 to $20 000 (in Canada) and even more sometimes in the states. Maybe the people who had a child costing $1000 a month were paying for private schools or saving money for university/college.

[Angri-la]

My general test for spending money is: will this make them a better adult? So violin lessons=yes, braces=yes, the latest toy=no, etc. But I often find myself saying no to things that might make them a better adult, simply for financial reasons, and that sucks. I am not afraid to say that it sucks. Unlike fundies, I can admit that. I'm glad this is somewhat temporary, and glad that we have wealthy families that will occasionally spring for summer camp or American Eagle sweatshirts or whatever.

I like your methods here, emmiedahl. Your method will help us in our future. I have a budding future scientist (double fundie terror= female scientist), and I want to encourage it. I admit that I will likely always be a sucker for my girl, but there will be times, because we are not, and will never be more than squarely middle class, that I will have to say no. And we will likely only ever have her; I cannot imagine the challenges of 5! I've already taught her to fall in love with the library, as she also shares her mother's book lust, to teach her that one does not need to own every book.

[snarkbillie]

Hmm..... we had to get a bigger apartment, buy more insurance, get a different vehicle, buy more food, more clothes, more furniture, etc. Kids are pretty expensive even before I get into education and medical care.

[keen23]

Actually, $700-$1000 a month for the first year actually seems pretty dead on. If your child is in daycare, infant care is EXPENSIVE. In most large centers, expect to pay $225 a week or more, sometimes WAY more- I've seen up to $450 a week for infants. That's almost $1000 right there. A Nanny will put you back $500 a week or more.

Formula- $40 a month

Diapers- $30 a month (I remember changing diapers 7-12 times a day with a newborn, less as they get older)

Incidentals- $100 a month (maybe more, maybe less)

The "big stuff" is a one time expense for the most part, and a lot of times you can luck out and get it gifted to you, but I think that $5K wouldn't be unreasonable.

I lucked out with our insurance- at the most it was $750 out of pocket, even with my high risk pregnancy/birth/repeat complicated c-section. Then again, we pay into the insurance at $500 a month, so we got our money's worth.

I know for a fact we spent $8K the first year we had our first child, and that wasn't counting lost wages from maternity leave or time off to take care of sick kids. I had a few years where we were spending upwards of $20K a year on babysitters and daycare for three kids. But my wages (and my sanity) were worth me continuing to work. This year, even with two in school full time, we're on track to spend $13K on sitters/daycare. And it seems that the expenses go up each year- sports teams, social activities, countless birthday parties to attend, etc. While the daycare expenses go down, the social expenses go up, the food bill goes up, the utility bill goes up (more showers=more water/electricity).

[hapamama]

I think the costs get exaggerated either way... I think it's important to separate the needs and the wants.

Babies need a place to sleep, a car seat to ride in, diapers, clothing, food and medical care. The rest is extra.

For older kids, designer clothes and extra-curricular activities are nice and all, but not exactly a NEED.

[emmiedahl]

Everything beyond rice and beans and a blanket is a "want" but most of us want better for our kids.

[Jessica]

nevermind.

[Angri-la]

I think the costs get exaggerated either way... I think it's important to separate the needs and the wants.

Babies need a place to sleep, a car seat to ride in, diapers, clothing, food and medical care. The rest is extra.

For older kids, designer clothes and extra-curricular activities are nice and all, but not exactly a NEED.

Huh. I don't believe my daughter has anything designer. Oh wait, yes she does, I found a MiniBoden sweatshirt in a thrift store bin for 99 cents. And her grandmother does buy her things occasionally. We are a two income family, and are very frugal, but our expenses have gone way up since adopting. Therapy is expensive and a NEED for an emotionally fragile child. I cannot imagine if she were medically fragile on top of it. We have a carseat, but no car.

I think children can be cheap if one simply meets their needs, food/shelter/2nd hand clothes. Personally, my husband and I want my daughter to have a fantastic education and be whatever she wants to be, not a SAHD who just waits around for a fundie boy to marry her. So we will give her the extras she needs to achieve her goals, not sit her in a prayer closet with a KJV. Am I going to buy her a Barbie Dream House or outfit her in expensive clothes @ age 4? No. Will I save money so she can have the best microscope/telescope she wants in the future? You bet!

[Rosa]

When I was looking for childcare the first time, $225/week was pretty much the median, and it was incidentally what the state would cover for subsidized families. Cost ranged from $100/week (home licensed daycare in my neighborhood) to $200-$250 (child care center) to $400 (fancy childcare center - our YWCA was right around $400).

It varies wildly by area and quality, as far as I can tell. A relative back in Iowa was doing fulltime child care for basically cigarette money, when she was out of work, and another relative hired someone for similar amounts ($3/day?) under the table. Up here...those people might exist but I wanted my kid in a more educational setting as a toddler.

Health insurance costs went up about $50/mo too, and I found I couldn't cope with working, having a kid, and having roomates anymore, so that's something like $200-$400/mo in lost income (though it was more a cost of having a job than having the kid. I can do 2 of 3 but not all 3 of those things.)

Also, you just can't predict the cost of an individual child. Some kids need more social validation; some kids need more medical care; some kids grow 6 inches in one year as teenagers and double your grocery bill. The whole "Kids can be cheap, it's a choice!" crowd is bullshitting themselves if they think they can really control stuff like that, except by choosing neglect for high-cost high-needs kids.