Cost of a baby

[keen23]

Perhaps I have delusions of grandeur, but after two kids, our almost 1500 sq ft house seemed cramped. We moved up to double that in sq ft as soon as we possibly could. Now, that's probably overkill, but as someone who appreciates privacy and alone space, I feel that I should be able to give that to my kids as well. I wanted to have enough space so that the kids had their own rooms, as well as a playroom and the adults had their own living room. Even still, we have a dining room that we just don't use, and will be converting to an office for my husband when we get around to it. And don't even get me started on bathrooms. When we were house shopping, we'd see 4 bedroom houses with only a single bathroom, and it made me crazy. I don't understand how people can live with that. Our bare minimum requirement was 2.5 bathrooms, and we wound up with 3.5.

We also got the van before I got pregnant with #3. It's our third car, and not a daily driver. We use it on the weekends, when we go somewhere as a family. Otherwise I have a Focus with two booster seats in the back (even though the 7 and 8 year old are the same size, the 7 year old gets the booster), and my husband has a truck for our daily commuter cars.

[hapamama]

I disagree, extra-curricular are needs not wants. Needs required to add balance and enrichment to a childs life, for parents who want their kids to aspire to a higher eduction or integration with the larger world they are necessities. Without those 'needs' you can model a fundy childhood of closeness and lack of exposure or enrichment.

I still don't see how that qualifies as a need. You can give your child exposure and enrichment outside of organized extracurricular activities.

I live in a fairly affluent city... I am not fairly affluent though. While we're not impoverished, our means are well below average at my children's school. Many of my children's classmates have a different extracurricular activities scheduled for every day. That's on top of about 1 hour of homework a night. When do they have time to actually play outside of recess at school?

My own children are involved in extracurricular activities as our schedules and budget allows, and it's always an "only if you want to" kind of thing... We don't force them to be involved in stuff they're not interested in.

[Austin]

Most people I know (including my husband and myself) grew up in homes (large homes, actually) with one bathroom. Not unusual at all and we made it through just fine. Homes that were 10 or 20 years old in the 1950s and 1960s often didn't have more than one bathroom. I don't think I knew anyone growing up who had more than one.

However, I have become very spoiled with having to share my bathroom with no one and I don't want to ever go back to sharing one with anyone who has a penis. I have a hard time sharing a bathroom with my husband when we're on vacation - lol.

Our home is actually only around 1600 SF but we do have 2 1/2 baths and since it is a split level, there are enough places to spread out.

[quinoa]

My baby was pretty cheap. Now that he's 5, he costs a lot more. He also eats like a teenaged boy, which means that when he is a teenaged boy, I'm going to have to take out loans to feed him. Suze Orman was probably diving the average cost of raising a child from 0-18 by 216 (18 years x 12 months).

My big problem with that disingenuous Smockity letter was that, to my understanding, she completely disregarded the reality of that family's finances. They were already spending more than they earned (like $500-1000 a month or something) and the mom wanted to quit her job and stay home to have a second baby. Suze was trying to get them to get their financial house in order before they considered having another child, which is, IMO, completely different from advising them that they needed a certain dollar-amount income to have a child, and is, IMO, good solid advice.

Smockity and her ilk act like everyone should just descend into a much lower standard of living at the drop of a hat so they can scrape by feeding as many babies as possible. There's no indication that this couple wanted to significantly alter their standard of living.

[I live off the state]

You can spend very little or you can spend a lot: our total monthly income is about 1300€ (I am a full time student at university, my husband is a stay home parent - all our income is government grants) , we have 2 kids (2 & 7), the eldest goes to a private school.

Birth - 0€ (I live in a country with a decent healthcare system)

Baby Bed - 0€ (the government here gives every mother a box of baby clothes and goodies (plus lube...???), the box also comes with a mattress and sheets so that you can use it as a crib. He moved straight from the box to the spare mattress laid on the floor.)

Stroller - 0€ (we "wore" the baby with a hand-me-down carrier (we used a sledge and lots of blankets in the winter))

Formula - 0€ (I breast-fed him (I realize this isn’t an option for all women), we briefly had some problems but formula was prescribed by the doctor (remember we have a decent healthcare system so it was for free)

Diapers - 50€ total for all (cloth, second-hand…from a friend…well washed. I had 2 sizes which did him right up to when he started using the toilet. There is a laundry room in our building, the use of which is included in the rent)

Car seat – 0€ (we didn’t have a car when he was a baby so there was no need for one, plus in our town you can travel on the bus for free with a baby)

We spent almost no money on what people normally consider to be essentials, which meant that the little money we did have could be spent on good quality books and toys, supersoft wool for knitting a baby blanket and other more special things.

[Guest Anonymous]

However, I have become very spoiled with having to share my bathroom with no one and I don't want to ever go back to sharing one with anyone who has a penis. I have a hard time sharing a bathroom with my husband when we're on vacation - lol.

Our home is actually only around 1600 SF but we do have 2 1/2 baths and since it is a split level, there are enough places to spread out.

You have a separate bathroom to your husband? I'm so impressed! :D

[StarrieEyedKat]

Most people I know (including my husband and myself) grew up in homes (large homes, actually) with one bathroom. Not unusual at all and we made it through just fine. Homes that were 10 or 20 years old in the 1950s and 1960s often didn't have more than one bathroom. I don't think I knew anyone growing up who had more than one.

However, I have become very spoiled with having to share my bathroom with no one and I don't want to ever go back to sharing one with anyone who has a penis. I have a hard time sharing a bathroom with my husband when we're on vacation - lol.

Our home is actually only around 1600 SF but we do have 2 1/2 baths and since it is a split level, there are enough places to spread out.

I swore to my husband after our first apartment together that I would never again live with him anywhere that had only one toilet. Never. Again.

Also, babies can be cheap - cloth diapers, breastfeeding, SAHM, thrift store clothes, etc, or the can be insanely expensive - disposables, formula, daycare, time off work for sick kids, etc.

Just...please don't stick them in a pack n play in the bathroom or anything. Babies are people too, and deserve little things like their own crib/mattress (even if you're a co-sleeper) and stuff.

[Austin]

You have a separate bathroom to your husband? I'm so impressed! :D

My bathroom is the master bath. He uses the main hallway bathroom along with the rest of the guys in the house, and everyone uses the half bath downstairs. Yes, I know - I'm terribly spoiled. :oops:

I shouldn't just say that I will never share a bath with a guy again if I can help it. My niece used my bathroom occasionally when she lived with us and she would take her bandaids off and leave them in the shower and leave other gross things, so I'm just better off sharing with no one :D

[emmiedahl]

We have two bathrooms and they are considered the girls' bathroom and the boys' one. My husband uses the girls' one sometimes, but he is very considerate.

I like FlorenceHamilton's cost analysis. Your children should cost as much as you can give them. They should not be second-class citizens in your home, wearing used flip-flops and sleeping on shelving so you can pursue your own goals. If I made $500k a year, a lot of it would be spent on my children, and I would aggressively save for them. I would love to fund college accounts to the point that they all have enough for Harvard and a semester abroad and maybe some for a down payment on a home later (I have a friend who received that much and it made her life so much easier!). I mean, I know I probably will not be able to do that, but I consider it a great way to spend income. I had a good example from my own parents; they always made their large family the priority when it came to finances, and I am really thankful for my piano abilities and private school grammar.

[browngrl]

My bathroom is the master bath. He uses the main hallway bathroom along with the rest of the guys in the house, and everyone uses the half bath downstairs. Yes, I know - I'm terribly spoiled. :oops:

I shouldn't just say that I will never share a bath with a guy again if I can help it. My niece used my bathroom occasionally when she lived with us and she would take her bandaids off and leave them in the shower and leave other gross things, so I'm just better off sharing with no one :D

THIS. One of the things that sold us on the house we have now is the fact that it has 4 bathrooms. That means I get the big one, Mr. Browngrl gets the smaller full bath, guests have an ensuite and anyone can use the powder room (currently occupied by the cats who like to lie in the sink there).

[Feberin]

You can spend very little or you can spend a lot: our total monthly income is about 1300€ (I am a full time student at university, my husband is a stay home parent - all our income is government grants) , we have 2 kids (2 & 7), the eldest goes to a private school.

Birth - 0€ (I live in a country with a decent healthcare system)

Baby Bed - 0€ (the government here gives every mother a box of baby clothes and goodies (plus lube...???), the box also comes with a mattress and sheets so that you can use it as a crib. He moved straight from the box to the spare mattress laid on the floor.)

Stroller - 0€ (we "wore" the baby with a hand-me-down carrier (we used a sledge and lots of blankets in the winter))

Formula - 0€ (I breast-fed him (I realize this isn’t an option for all women), we briefly had some problems but formula was prescribed by the doctor (remember we have a decent healthcare system so it was for free)

Diapers - 50€ total for all (cloth, second-hand…from a friend…well washed. I had 2 sizes which did him right up to when he started using the toilet. There is a laundry room in our building, the use of which is included in the rent)

Car seat – 0€ (we didn’t have a car when he was a baby so there was no need for one, plus in our town you can travel on the bus for free with a baby)

We spent almost no money on what people normally consider to be essentials, which meant that the little money we did have could be spent on good quality books and toys, supersoft wool for knitting a baby blanket and other more special things.

Wow! Where do you live? Just curious because that is wonderful how much is provided for you.

[Lily]

Shaking head.

Next?

No need to be bitchy.

It was just for estimation purposes, since it gets murkier after they stop using/needing "baby stuff," or what most people use on babies. It would have been way too complex if I tried to calculate just the first year or just the birth and immediate baby needs and ignore the cost's use/extension into the second, or if I went the opposite and tried to calculate the first 10 years or all 18 years.

[Wolfie]

I have noticed a lot of people are listing breastfeeding as free. I think that they have to take the extra calories that mom needs to produce that milk. I doubt it is as much as formula, but it's more than mom would be eating without needing to produce food for baby.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I have noticed a lot of people are listing breastfeeding as free. I think that they have to take the extra calories that mom needs to produce that milk. I doubt it is as much as formula, but it's more than mom would be eating without needing to produce food for baby.

There are also potentially costs for the pump (which can get REALLY expensive) and all the things that go with it. Nursing bras and tops as well.

[Lily]

There are also potentially costs for the pump (which can get REALLY expensive) and all the things that go with it. Nursing bras and tops as well.

Never used all those gizmos or special stuff. As for food, in my case, it's really negligible for as much as we grow and raise, the cost of storebought food is relatively low compared to other families of comparable size, and I don't eat a whole lot of it nursing or not.

[Katiebug]

I'm pregnant with my first and this thread is FREAKING ME OUT!

That is all.

Don't let it. We were freaked about the finances at first too, and all I can say is that you find a way. Things have a way of working out even if you're not sure sometimes how it'll all come together.

Lots of sources will try to tell you that you need a ton of gear and stuff, and the only true necessities are a way to feed the baby (breastfeeding, formula, or both), a place for baby to sleep, a means of diapering (cloth, disposable, or both), a way to carry them (carrier/sling or stroller), a way to bathe the kiddo, some clothes (one piece sleepers with feet!), and a properly-used car seat if the baby will ever be riding in a car. Child care, if necessary. And a ton of love and cuddles. Anything beyond that is nice to have but not absolutely essential.

Do not read the "suggested registry list" at Babies R Us, Buy Buy Baby, etc. and think that you need it all. You need about 1/10th of what's on those pages. I swear the damned BRU list told us we needed a crib, a bassinet, a pack & play, and a co-sleeper along with suitable bedding for each. :lol: I really recommend the book "Baby Bargains" for deciding on baby gear and supplies that are a good value.

[Wolfie]

Never used all those gizmos or special stuff. As for food, in my case, it's really negligible for as much as we grow and raise, the cost of storebought food is relatively low compared to other families of comparable size, and I don't eat a whole lot of it nursing or not.

I raise a couple different types of mammals- and it never fails that their food intake goes up for pregnancy and nursing. They are small, so it isn't a lot of food, but for some of them it nearly doubles. I also saw this with friends and family's pregnancies/nursing. I'm going to say that your case is not the norm. I can see not using the bras/otherclothing and pumps if your situation works, but the food is different. I bet that a lot of people don't even notice since they have already been eating more while they were pregnant.

[Rosa]

I still don't see how that qualifies as a need. You can give your child exposure and enrichment outside of organized extracurricular activities.

I live in a fairly affluent city... I am not fairly affluent though. While we're not impoverished, our means are well below average at my children's school. Many of my children's classmates have a different extracurricular activities scheduled for every day. That's on top of about 1 hour of homework a night. When do they have time to actually play outside of recess at school?

My own children are involved in extracurricular activities as our schedules and budget allows, and it's always an "only if you want to" kind of thing... We don't force them to be involved in stuff they're not interested in.

MY kid has a development issue that makes extracurriculars a need, not a want - that's his social worker's prescription "get him involved in as much stuff with other kids as you can."

You don't get to choose what needs your specific kids will have, except by choosing to ignore any special ones that happen to crop up.

[Rosa]

Never used all those gizmos or special stuff. As for food, in my case, it's really negligible for as much as we grow and raise, the cost of storebought food is relatively low compared to other families of comparable size, and I don't eat a whole lot of it nursing or not.

How'd you get by without a nursing bra? I went from a DD to a G when I had my baby, so the bras were really freakin' expensive. My friend who just had hers went from a B to an F (I was just over there today, and she showed me her new bra. One. Because it cost as much as 4 B cup bras.)

[StarrieEyedKat]

I went from a DD to a G when I had my baby

Hey, me too! I still wear my nighttime nursing bras, even though I don't nurse anymore. They're just SO comfy!

[Rosa]

Did you have a hard time finding them? I was SO ANGRY because the store where i always buy my bras (Macy's) didn't carry large-sized nursing bras. Like, hey, if your regular customers go up to DDD, don't you think your nursing-bra customers might go up higher? Just maybe?

Anyway, I was happy to go back to a smaller size when I was done nursing. Some of those bras, I could wear the cups as hats!

[aelar]

Breastfeeding takes an extra 500 calories or so a day (rough average, but generally accepted as about the norm). While I do eat a bit more than before I got pregnant, it really amounts to a second granola bar at breakfast, maybe some extra juice, and a second helping at dinner. If you are the type of family that saved every food scrap and had an extremely tight food budget before baby, then you might notice an increase from mom eating more after baby. But for us, we just have slightly fewer leftovers going bad in the fridge. In fact, since I took up couponing as a hobby (something relatively mindless I could do with baby brain, and we were conscious of babies being an additional expense), we actually are spending quite a bit less on food than before baby, despite my eating a bit more.

I went from a D to a G as well, but I hate normal bras, I've been wearing sports bras and camisole bras for years. So I spent maybe $40 on a few packs of the next size up cami bras, and that has been enough for me. I wear loose clothing, so I can just pull the shirt up, the bra down, and latch, and when pumping, the bra snugs around the funnel so I can go hands free. (I used the rubber band trick at first, but realized I didn't really need to bother as long as I wasn't trying to do anything too active while pumping.)

[NurseNell]

Baby food. That shit is expensive.

Clothes. Babies grow so quickly. And they will need a couple of change of clothes a day, thanks to spitup, diaper overruns, etc.

It's a waste of money, to say nothing of nutrition, to buy baby food. You just buy a hand processor and grind the food yourself. I didn't buy baby food and none of my kids did either. My daughter and DIL nursed, so no formula costs. Diapers though, uffda, expensive.

[Lily]

How'd you get by without a nursing bra? I went from a DD to a G when I had my baby, so the bras were really freakin' expensive. My friend who just had hers went from a B to an F (I was just over there today, and she showed me her new bra. One. Because it cost as much as 4 B cup bras.)

I envy you a bit, though G's would be horrible on my frame. I started with small A's and only went up to a large A/small B. I just used a sports bra with nursing pads, then just a sports bra once I wasn't springing leaks any more.

And here I thought bigger boobs would be an upside to pregnancy and nursing. Nature, you cheat me again!

[Feberin]

I have noticed a lot of people are listing breastfeeding as free. I think that they have to take the extra calories that mom needs to produce that milk. I doubt it is as much as formula, but it's more than mom would be eating without needing to produce food for baby.

I definately ate more while nursing but it wasn't enough that it dramatically impacted our grocery budget. A lot of times it was food that would have been wasted if I wasn't eating more or my husband would have eaten it even if he wasn't hungry. Like if we were eating chicken and I might normally eat most of the breasts but not finished it and while nursing I woudl finish it. Or if we had lasagna then I would have a bigger serving but if I hadn't taken it my husband would have eaten it just because it was there. The amount of extra food I ate was less then my 20 month old eats now because now we are finding that meals need to be bigger.