Cost of a baby

[keen23]

When I was looking for childcare the first time, $225/week was pretty much the median, and it was incidentally what the state would cover for subsidized families. Cost ranged from $100/week (home licensed daycare in my neighborhood) to $200-$250 (child care center) to $400 (fancy childcare center - our YWCA was right around $400).

It varies wildly by area and quality, as far as I can tell. A relative back in Iowa was doing fulltime child care for basically cigarette money, when she was out of work, and another relative hired someone for similar amounts ($3/day?) under the table. Up here...those people might exist but I wanted my kid in a more educational setting as a toddler.

These prices are the same as what I found, and where I live daycare is "cheap." I have friends in other states who are paying a lot more.

[emmiedahl]

When my kids were in childcare, my 1 yo cost $675 a month and my 4 yo cost $575, but that was with a student discount.

[BlackHawk]

When I was looking for childcare the first time, $225/week was pretty much the median, and it was incidentally what the state would cover for subsidized families. Cost ranged from $100/week (home licensed daycare in my neighborhood) to $200-$250 (child care center) to $400 (fancy childcare center - our YWCA was right around $400).

It varies wildly by area and quality, as far as I can tell. A relative back in Iowa was doing fulltime child care for basically cigarette money, when she was out of work, and another relative hired someone for similar amounts ($3/day?) under the table. Up here...those people might exist but I wanted my kid in a more educational setting as a toddler.

Health insurance costs went up about $50/mo too, and I found I couldn't cope with working, having a kid, and having roomates anymore, so that's something like $200-$400/mo in lost income (though it was more a cost of having a job than having the kid. I can do 2 of 3 but not all 3 of those things.)

Also, you just can't predict the cost of an individual child. Some kids need more social validation; some kids need more medical care; some kids grow 6 inches in one year as teenagers and double your grocery bill. The whole "Kids can be cheap, it's a choice!" crowd is bullshitting themselves if they think they can really control stuff like that, except by choosing neglect for high-cost high-needs kids.

That's amazing to me, from a child care perspective. Around here the median cost is about 150/week.. lower end is around 95, upper I guess can range up to around 220/week for an infant. I worked at a decent daycare, right in the middle range or 145/week for infants. While I wouldn't put my children there for personal reasons, the daycare itself was good. They offered extra classes, the education the children got was wonderful. Teachers were underpaid, but in most daycares they are. I just am amazed at costs, but thinking about it, each city has a different living expense, so day care expense will be different also.

On the original topic... we are finding out preparing for a baby is costly up front. Going the foster route we don't have 9 months to get everything prepared.. we have just over 3 months, and things like a crib and such are expensive. We've spent out an average of 200 a month for just the basics (crib, car seat, diapers) but those things will last us, hopefully, through all our children. I do agree that there is a happy medium here. You don't have to spend 1000 a month typically, but how often do things go typically? You have to be prepared for the worst, so having that money is a good idea. And if you don't use it, well that's college savings, or extra wants the child has in the future. There is a happy place between beans and rice AND 20,000 dollar birthday parties every year.

[haveapicniclife]

Also, you just can't predict the cost of an individual child. Some kids need more social validation; some kids need more medical care; some kids grow 6 inches in one year as teenagers and double your grocery bill. The whole "Kids can be cheap, it's a choice!" crowd is bullshitting themselves if they think they can really control stuff like that, except by choosing neglect for high-cost high-needs kids.

THIS. There are so many factors involved and you just can't control them. You may have the most awesome job ever with the best insurance and then 6 years later...out of work with extremely high cost, crappy insurance. Things change, people change, situations change.

As far as babies goes, I think it is what people make of it. If someone had their heart set on a $1500 crib and nothing else will do, well that's something that is important to them and will factor in to a higher cost. People do what works best for them. There are a lot of variables.

[Feberin]

I think it's tricky to calculate if you're including all the "start up costs". My son's birth was $15 (I had awesome insurance). My aunt gave me all my three-year-old cousin's things like a crib, swing, exersaucer, clothes and some toys. We use the dresser that was in my husband's room growing up and purchased a changing table pad to put on top of it. We have a rocker that my great-grandfather built although it did need some repairs we would have gotten those done anyways. Our biggest purchase was cloth diapers ($700 but we're still using them with a 21 month old) and I got a nice breast pump for work. We also splurged on a video baby monitor from Woot. Any clothes I purchased were either clearance items or second hand frequently both. I breastfed and pumped at work. We cloth diapered and made our own baby food when that time came. Once he hit around a year we fed him whatever we were eating. My son was in daycare from three months until nineteen months. Daycare was $200 a week and we had cheap in home daycare. We did have to purchase convertible car seats (three total one for my car, my husband's car and a spare that we use for babysitters) since he hit the weight mark on his infant car seat early and we are doing extended rear-facing. Although we're going to have to spend a lot more on the delivery of our next baby ($200 + 10%, which is probably fairly standard) it will be cheaper in that we already have diapers (assuming they work and it doesn't have some strange body type) and if it's a boy we're set on clothes. We have recently purchased a minivan but that was more for the next couple kids we're planning on having if we were stopping at one then we would have gotten another car.

[CynicMom]

Don't forget the car. Car seats don't fit comfortably in cheap compacts, so people typically get a larger more expensive car for carting children around. And you have to get a house with more than one bedroom.

And you have to factor in opportunity cost of someone not working who otherwise would be. As in, I stay at home. But if we didn't have kids, I'd be working. So having kids cost us my salary even though I stay home voluntarily.

Plus safety standards for cribs and car seats change often so people feel guilty about buying less-than-new items.

[smores]

I think for me, it's expensive, because there is so much I want to give my daughter. I'm going back to work hopefully next month, looking at jobs right now. It all depends on the kind of lives we want to give our kids. I want to take my daughter on the trips we want to take abroad, so my behind is going back to work to be able to afford it.

[Kaylee]

Even doing things cheaply (cloth diapers, secondhand clothes, co-sleeping, etc), I'd say around $350-400 a month. I ended up owing over $5,000 just for the birth, after insurance, and spent about $3,000 on clothes, blankets, and random baby gear. With an infant, there are frequent doctor visits at $25 each (co-pay), plus the extra $180 a month to keep him insured because my husband's income puts us $3 a month over the requirement for any state assistance. I use cloth diapers, but the cost for diapers, covers, (and more of both because he outgrew the infant ones) etc so-far has been around $900 - add in washing costs, and I'll call that $50 a month. That doesn't include the news washer and dryer I bought when I was pregnant because it would sanitize the diapers. We spent around $50-60 a week on formula when he was younger, and around $60 to rent a breast pump before that (and about 4 months of pumping and formula feeding because I had to supplement, but was still trying to get my milk supply back up), maybe around $40 a week now that he's eating table food (I usually skipped breakfast & lunch or ate cereal and canned soup, but now I'm making real food for us). About $150-200 2-3 times a year for new clothes (at a consignment shop). Around ($4500/month in lost wages, but you can use fundie logic and call that $2000 since I am saving money on commuting , convenience foods, etc). I "toughed it out" because I couldn't afford it and was afraid of losing my son, but you could add in $65 2 or 4x a month for psych appointments and/or another $3500+ bill for an inpatient stay if I had bothered to get treated for postpartum depression.

[Childless]

First year with my son:

- diapers: $45/month (we use disposables because my husband refuses to do cloth and he's the one home with the boy all day long)

- formula: $100/month (I was not able to breastfeed and my son required special gentle formula)

- medicine for colic: $50/month for the first 3 months of his life

- special orthotic equipment because of a special need: $600 (and we have really good insurance)

- various merchandise to clean orthotic equipment: $20/month

- appointments at children's hospital for special need: $200

- clothes for later infancy stages: $200

- other essentials (bath wash, butt paste, etc.): $20/month

- bottles, nipples, etc: $250

- baby furniture: $900

- stroller/car seat: $400 (gifted to us, but this is what we would have paid had it not been)

- baby swing: $150

- crib mattress: $200

- crib sheets and mattress pads: $200

- bouncy seat: $50

- jumper: $80 (gifted to us, but this is what we would have paid)

- birth: $2500 (I had to have an emergency c-section and we were in the hospital for 4 days because my son had jaundice)

- bili blanket rental: $90 (we had to take one home and keep him in it for a week)

So far into his second year:

- new convertible car seats: $550

- diapers: $45/month

- food: $100/month (we feed him only organic food, it would probably be cheaper if you used regular stuff)

- clothes (because no one ever gets you stuff over 12 months unless it's for Christmas or birthdays): $200 every 6 months

Thankfully, he's out of the orthotic gear now, so that cost is gone. It was a very big cost while going through it though. That's the thing. Sure, you can get by cheap if everything goes well, but sometimes there are added expenses like formula, special needs equipment/medicine/doctor's visits, etc. You have to plan for that stuff also or you'll find your family in financial trouble trying to cover the costs. I had a difficult birth I was not expecting, my son had jaundice (unexpected), I couldn't breastfeed (unexpected), my son had colic (unexpected), my son needed orthotic equipment (unexpected). We planned and saved for an entire year to make sure we had enough money to cover all our costs and we still ended up struggling a little under all the added costs from the unexpected issues.

edited to add: money to cover my maternity leave because the company I work for does not offer full paid maternity leave and my husband is currently a full time college student and doesn't work: $4400

[Nesomja]

I think the costs get exaggerated either way... I think it's important to separate the needs and the wants.

Babies need a place to sleep, a car seat to ride in, diapers, clothing, food and medical care. The rest is extra.

For older kids, designer clothes and extra-curricular activities are nice and all, but not exactly a NEED.

I don't think the costs are under estimated at all. The most important thing babies need is someone with them 24/7. Whether that person is paid or whether they are offering their services for free, there is a very high real cost to this - a stay at home parent cannot earn other money whilst caring for a baby. If you ignore the cost of this then I think you are buying into the tradition that women's work is free and under-valued. The costs of a crib, cloth diapers etc are just pennies compared to how much 24 hour care would cost if you were paying for it. Our baby costs us $1000s in my lost income whilst I look after her.

[ilovetchotchkes]

For us? VERY LITTLE.

Aside from paying our hospital bills, some $3,000... hardly anything.

We 100% cloth diaper, I exclusively breastfed the first 6 months (SO lucky I was able to do that!). We also never bought baby food, (we just chopped up what we ate really small) and i'm lucky that my son got a LOT of hand- me downs from cousins. We're JUST getting to the point that in the next 6 months or so we might have to buy some 3t clothes. He's 19 months now. I also stay at home with the booger.

I can imagine, if you formula feed (by choice or necessity), disposable diaper, and have the kid in daycare? it would probably BE close to that $1,000 mark or MORE as daycares around here were obscene. LIke, the one I was looking at putting the kid in before I quit my job? was almost $1100 a month

[Witsec7]

I think the costs get exaggerated either way... I think it's important to separate the needs and the wants.

Babies need a place to sleep, a car seat to ride in, diapers, clothing, food and medical care. The rest is extra.

For older kids, designer clothes and extra-curricular activities are nice and all, but not exactly a NEED.

I disagree, extra-curricular are needs not wants. Needs required to add balance and enrichment to a childs life, for parents who want their kids to aspire to a higher eduction or integration with the larger world they are necessities. Without those 'needs' you can model a fundy childhood of closeness and lack of exposure or enrichment.

[emmiedahl]

I think they are sometimes needs. A parent's job is to help their child reach their full potential as an adult, which includes overcoming challenges and making the most out of special talents. If you have a child who is gifted in a certain area, they need special training in order to make something of their talent.

[Feberin]

Just realized a cost I forgot to include and fun dies wouldn't include but a financial planner would definitely include, which is college savings. we put away $100 a month for him. I also think there are a lot of variables since it varies where you live, shop and your standards. You can get a safe convertible car seat that will last from birth to booster new for $50 if you go with a no frills model (cosco scenera) and catch a sale. Or you can get a Britax for a few hundred. The birth can cost nothing or very little or several thousands depending on insurance and if you need a c-section. Diapers can be cloth flats and covers or organic disposables and everything in between.

[celestial]

Thanks for your interesting feedback, all.

[celestial]

Just realized a cost I forgot to include and fun dies wouldn't include...

:lol: Was that intentional? Whether it was or not, I love it! So very apropos.

[ilovetchotchkes]

:lol: Was that intentional? Whether it was or not, I love it! So very apropos.

If they're typing on a macbook it automatically "corrects" your spelling of fundies to "fun dies"

[hapamama]

I don't think the costs are under estimated at all. The most important thing babies need is someone with them 24/7. Whether that person is paid or whether they are offering their services for free, there is a very high real cost to this - a stay at home parent cannot earn other money whilst caring for a baby. If you ignore the cost of this then I think you are buying into the tradition that women's work is free and under-valued. The costs of a crib, cloth diapers etc are just pennies compared to how much 24 hour care would cost if you were paying for it. Our baby costs us $1000s in my lost income whilst I look after her.

I had my first child at 21. I was not established in a career the way my husband was, so it seemed logical and reasonable for me to stay home with the baby. The cost of quality child care and transportation costs would have made working outside the home less financially sensible than staying home with him. I had a choice, and since I didn't have a career I loved, it made no sense to slave away at a dead end job when I could stay home with my little guy. My mother-in-law is a career woman, and she couldn't understand how I could be happy with that choice, but I am.

I'm am extremely grateful that my husband makes a decent enough living that we can afford for me to stay home. Neither of us thinks of it in terms of how much it's costing us in potential retirement savings.... when my youngest is school aged, I'll go back to work, but until then, my children need me more than I need a career.

My choice has meant some sacrifices. We don't have the latest and greatest gadgets. We have one vehicle. We don't go on fancy vacations, and our kids aren't in every extracurricular activity under the sun.

My philosophy when I'm buying stuff for my kids is that I buy with quality, durability, practicality and safety in mind. Sometimes that means not just buying the cheapest available. Sometimes that means saying no to something that just isn't practical.

[celestial]

If they're typing on a macbook it automatically "corrects" your spelling of fundies to "fun dies"

Ah, nice. Rather Google-bombesque.

[ilovetchotchkes]

I had my first child at 21. I was not established in a career the way my husband was, so it seemed logical and reasonable for me to stay home with the baby. The cost of quality child care and transportation costs would have made working outside the home less financially sensible than staying home with him. I had a choice, and since I didn't have a career I loved, it made no sense to slave away at a dead end job when I could stay home with my little guy. My mother-in-law is a career woman, and she couldn't understand how I could be happy with that choice, but I am.

I'm am extremely grateful that my husband makes a decent enough living that we can afford for me to stay home. Neither of us thinks of it in terms of how much it's costing us in potential retirement savings.... when my youngest is school aged, I'll go back to work, but until then, my children need me more than I need a career.

My choice has meant some sacrifices. We don't have the latest and greatest gadgets. We have one vehicle. We don't go on fancy vacations, and our kids aren't in every extracurricular activity under the sun.

My philosophy when I'm buying stuff for my kids is that I buy with quality, durability, practicality and safety in mind. Sometimes that means not just buying the cheapest available. Sometimes that means saying no to something that just isn't practical.

This is how we do it. If I worked, yes we could have gone on the trip to Israel with the rest of our synagogue, yes I COULD have cable, but, i'm OK with not having those things for now. Maybe in the future I'll want them and i'll then look into working again. (we plan on homeschooling)

[Austin]

I don't think the costs are under estimated at all. The most important thing babies need is someone with them 24/7. Whether that person is paid or whether they are offering their services for free, there is a very high real cost to this - a stay at home parent cannot earn other money whilst caring for a baby. If you ignore the cost of this then I think you are buying into the tradition that women's work is free and under-valued. The costs of a crib, cloth diapers etc are just pennies compared to how much 24 hour care would cost if you were paying for it. Our baby costs us $1000s in my lost income whilst I look after her.

I agree. When I consider the 10-plus years of salary, not to mention retirement savings, that was lost, having children was a very expensive proposition for us. It was certainly more than worth it but that's the reality. I have been back to work 11 years now and believe me, I am thinking about those IRA account deposits I failed to make a whole lot. I didn't think about it at the time, but every decision has its price and now it's staring me in the face. I just to hope that the market goes easier on us for over the next 10 years.

[Feberin]

If they're typing on a macbook it automatically "corrects" your spelling of fundies to "fun dies"

I was on an Ipad so it autocorrected it.

I also don't think about my loss salary when thinking about costs. I suppose that is odd since I count daycare in but that was money coming out of our pockets not potential money that won't be coming into our pockets. I have a bachelor's degree and worked as a children's library associate (pretty much a librarian but I don't have a masters so they can pay me less). Daycare was half my salary and we're expecting our second child so once that child was born I'd be working for daycare. That might be fine if you're in a career that you plan on moving up or you prefer to work but I prefer being at home. Also unless you're insanely rich who has 24 hour care? I suppose some demanding jobs may require you have 24 hour care here or there if you have to work extra long hours.

[TMS]

Really, BABIES can be very inexpensive if you breastfeed and practice attachment parenting. Babies, not toddlers and kids. They get more expensive as they grow ;)

I always had a crib and furniture, my babies had their own rooms, I bought disposable diapers, and used some formula in addition to breastfeeding - but I can definitely see how a baby could be very inexpensive by using cloth diapers, exclusively breastfeeding, buying second-hand, and practicing co-sleeping. (We did co-sleep but had a crib to use if we needed it. It made a great laundry basket.) Another thing that we didn't have to worry about was medical bills, because my husband was (and is) active duty military. I can't imagine the cost of routine doctors visits and vaccinations. Sometimes I think fundies may be "anti-vaccine" simply because they can't afford it and want to assure themselves that it's okay.

However, as babies grow into toddlers, they need their own beds, more clothes, food other than breastmilk (although toddlers really don't eat that much), etc., so the cost increases. If you need child care, that can vary, depending on the day care provider. I worked full time when my oldest was a toddler/preschooler, but was lucky to find an excellent, reputable day care that operated on a sliding scale according to income (and being a single parent at the time, this was important to me).

School age children are MUCH more expensive than babies/toddlers! They eat much more, their clothes cost more, they need full-sized beds, lots of books, educational toys, they start playing sports and taking music lessons (and you pay not only for the lessons, but for all their freaking expensive equipment, uniforms, instruments, etc.). Oh, and they may need glasses and braces when they're in their preteens (I have two kids in braces - and over HALF of their friends are in braces!!! It's insanely expensive! This is something NOT covered by the military!).

Just wait until you see that first school supplies list for kindergarten! It's only the beginning.....

[ilovetchotchkes]

Really, BABIES can be very inexpensive if you breastfeed and practice attachment parenting. Babies, not toddlers and kids. They get more expensive as they grow ;)

I always had a crib and furniture, my babies had their own rooms, I bought disposable diapers, and used some formula in addition to breastfeeding - but I can definitely see how a baby could be very inexpensive by using cloth diapers, exclusively breastfeeding, buying second-hand, and practicing co-sleeping. (We did co-sleep but had a crib to use if we needed it. It made a great laundry basket.) Another thing that we didn't have to worry about was medical bills, because my husband was (and is) active duty military. I can't imagine the cost of routine doctors visits and vaccinations. Sometimes I think fundies may be "anti-vaccine" simply because they can't afford it and want to assure themselves that it's okay.

However, as babies grow into toddlers, they need their own beds, more clothes, food other than breastmilk (although toddlers really don't eat that much), etc., so the cost increases. If you need child care, that can vary, depending on the day care provider. I worked full time when my oldest was a toddler/preschooler, but was lucky to find an excellent, reputable day care that operated on a sliding scale according to income (and being a single parent at the time, this was important to me).

School age children are MUCH more expensive than babies/toddlers! They eat much more, their clothes cost more, they need full-sized beds, lots of books, educational toys, they start playing sports and taking music lessons (and you pay not only for the lessons, but for all their freaking expensive equipment, uniforms, instruments, etc.). Oh, and they may need glasses and braces when they're in their preteens (I have two kids in braces - and over HALF of their friends are in braces!!! It's insanely expensive! This is something NOT covered by the military!).

Just wait until you see that first school supplies list for kindergarten! It's only the beginning.....

Tell that to my 19 month old, who just ate an entire pint of black berries and raspberries. And is demanding "MO MO MAMA! "

This is AFTER consuming 2 pieces of pizza 2 hours ago.

I think I'm raising a hobbit.

[Mama Mia]

Babies were super cheap .. diapers and mashed up food, that's all. The car seats and toys and clothes were mostly shower gifts. The clothes were hand-me-down or from the used clothes store, or gifts for birthdays / Christmas. My daughter now can do it even cheaper because she gets almost everything off craigslist - except the carseat and diapers ( mostly from the free section ) I don't think she averages more than $100 a month, tops, for the toddler costs.

For daycare they were either in parent-co-op pre-school, headstart or we alternated shifts ( bad for a marriage, good for childcare )

They got more expensive once they were in school because of the school supplies and 'stuff" and wanting to have everything the other kids have. And as teens, even more expensive.

We did some extra-curricular activities with the kids who were into it -- those could run $100 a month easy- but they also double as partial childcare.

We would get them some of the toys they really wanted, even if they weren't the most educational - because it was about their current happiness, not just what they were going to do when they grew up.