Dear Fundie Penthouse Forum

[NurseNell]

No clue about stats or probability but I didn't bleed either, and it didn't hurt. It also did nothing for me in any other way. I was a gymnast, at the high school level, and I used tampons and rode a bike. Could be why, but who knows? About a year before the big deed, I crash landed on the beam, straddling it. Broke my tail bone. Smashed myself up.

Ouch, that hurts to even read about! :geek:

[fundiefan]

I didn't either and I don't know anyone who did. I'm sure I did it with my first tampon use, uffda! :oops: I was a freshman in nursing school. One of my classmates who'd been using tampons for years told the rest of us we really needed to try them. So I did, just before getting in her car to ride 90 miles to visit her parent's for the weekend. It was an OB brand, the kind that don't have an applicator. Well, I was in sheer agony for that entire ride and near tears. The first thing I did at her parent's was use the BR to remove that instrument of terror and use a pad. It was a few more years before I tried again, after which I never went back to pads.

My older sister insisted I use tampons from the start. I did, but I hated them. They were uncomfortable and sometimes even hurt. I was in my 20's when I got a new gyno (the guy that delivered my sister & I was my early gyno and he was awesome, but also kind of old school; I consider it a good thing he retired because I learned a lot more from the newer and subsequent ones) and was told that my uterus is retroverted; tipped back. And while no guarantee tampons will be hard and many can and do adjust and work with it, it easily explains my discomfort. I haven't used tampons since, with few exceptions of the swimming suit kind.

It also affected sex. But, once I knew about it the 'problems' were worked around.

Kinda comes with knowing yourself and what works for you.

[fundiefan]

Ouch, that hurts to even read about! :geek:

Yes. It hurts to remember it, 29 years later. It ended my interest in gymnastics. I did not get back on that horse, so to speak. I still have issues because of the broken tail bone; can't exactly put a cast on it. I am in my middle 40's and still consider that to be the worst experience of my life to date.

[Kitty]

I rode bikes often and used tampons before I had sex. Actually, as a kid I rode bikes, rode a horse occasionally, and when I was 8 fell onto the railing of a trampoline much how fundiefan landed on the beam. And then onto the edge of a wagon the same way. That was fucking horrible. By the time I was 13 or so, using tampons didn't hurt at all, and the only pain I felt my first time having sex (at 18) as a bit of soreness afterward. I didn't bleed at all until about the fifth time, but I felt something like a cramp (apparently this is normal? I don't know) and thought my period had come early.

I actually feel a lot less pain with my current boyfriend, who actually is a bit oversized, than with the guy I first slept with, who was actually a bit small and caused pain somehow every other time we had sex.

[liltwinstar]

When I was about 6 I was running around and playing, and I fell and landed with my heel in my crotch (not sure how that happened). I had a bit of blood in the undies, so I'm assuming I did some damage in there...but seriously, it was *nothing* major at all. I was a bit sore, but it wasn't super painful either.

Never bled during sex.

Also? That guy that wrote that his wife's bloody hymen fell out of her? He's a sicko. If some bloody blob of flesh fell out of me, my husband would be calling 911 and worried sick; he wouldn't think it was "sweet." And granted, my knowledge of female anatomy is somewhat limited, but I'm pretty sure it's impossible for the hymen to fall out, intact, you know??

[Deleted12]

Also? That guy that wrote that his wife's bloody hymen fell out of her? He's a sicko. If some bloody blob of flesh fell out of me, my husband would be calling 911 and worried sick; he wouldn't think it was "sweet." And granted, my knowledge of female anatomy is somewhat limited, but I'm pretty sure it's impossible for the hymen to fall out, intact, you know??

My knowledge of anatomy is enough that I know the hymen doesn't fall out in a blob.

Haha, maybe she did the old trick where you take a piece of liver or a small bit of sponge and put it up there as a fake hymen. :D

Either that or maybe she was menstruating and a bunch plopped out at once. "I broke my wife's hymen at least 20 times during our honeymoon!"

[sugaree]

I think it is so sweet for all of these fundie brides to pretend to orgasm for their new grooms. Or it would be sweet if they weren't all completely imaginary and these stories weren't completely made-up. None of that ever happened.

The hymen dropping out into the toilet like a placenta or a tiny piece of broken condom is especially amusing. That particular writer may have had sex, but he or she is completely unfamiliar with an actual hymen

[Annette]

I didn't bleed with first intercourse, but I did have bleeding a few times when my then-boyfriend and I started exploring third base. Before that, I wasn't able to insert a tampon, it was entirely too painful. I tried many times, and wasn't able to get one in until after becoming sexually active (but before "going all the way"). Even now after 6 years of PIV sex, sex still hurts starting out. It takes a couple of minutes before I can handle the whole thing at a normal pace...TMI, sorry! After which I am totally fine and having a good time. I guess that's not normal? I have never thought to mention it to my doctor.

[NurseNell]

I guess that's not normal? I have never thought to mention it to my doctor.

No, I would say that's not normal.

[alphaeta08]

Nope, no bleeding/pain. I did use tampons from day one (age 11) and did normal sports stuff, so I presumably did some damage. My sister, on the other hand, still has trouble with tampons and she's 20, so I don't think it's a hereditary thing.

Re orgasms: maybe these girls think they're having orgasms. I mean, if you don't know through masturbation, etc, you might think that sex feeling good in general counts as an orgasm. I suggest a mass mailing of vibrators so they can find out what they're missing! 8-)

[baristachica]

I did have a lot of pain...and it took us a while because I was so scared of the pain. I finally went to the doctor about it. Maybe we just didn't know what the hell we were doing (possible...young and each other's first), but the pain was real. I finally broke down and asked my mom and she said she had lots of pain and apparently bled quite a bit. I also couldn't wear tampons (reeeeallly painful) until after I started having sex.

It always hurt initially until after I had my kiddo, though. I thought that was normal for me.

[Cannelle]

Yeah...I've been with two guys (both of whom I married) and it took four months with both of them for me to come. It just takes a while to get to know each others' bodies, to know what works and what doesn't, and to feel relaxed and comfortable enough to be able to orgasm. It isn't like some "Press button, receive orgasm" type thing with women, but these fundies sure assume that's how it works. :roll:

[moreorlessnu]

THE LORD GRACIOUSLY STRETCHED HER HYMEN!

So THAT'S why he's not answering the prayers of the people who have REAL problems...I get it now...I'm going to stop wasting my time praying for sick children and lost souls.

[fundiefan]

Yeah...I've been with two guys (both of whom I married) and it took four months with both of them for me to come. It just takes a while to get to know each others' bodies, to know what works and what doesn't, and to feel relaxed and comfortable enough to be able to orgasm. It isn't like some "Press button, receive orgasm" type thing with women, but these fundies sure assume that's how it works. :roll:

Women the world over would be happier, more fulfilled and at least somewhat less exhausted if that button existed.

So THAT'S why he's not answering the prayers of the people who have REAL problems...I get it now...I'm going to stop wasting my time praying for sick children and lost souls.

No, no, no. God only gives pure, virginal fundies mind blowing orgasms on their wedding night when it doesn't interfere with the needs of the Maxwells. Maybe, then, if there is enough time, he'll think about illness and starvation and poverty and suffering.

[Annette]

It always hurt initially until after I had my kiddo, though. I thought that was normal for me.

I've got my first incubating right now, so maybe better days are ahead for me, then!

[emmiedahl]

Sex was at best uncomfortable for me until I had my first child. It took a while for things to heal (I had a horrible tear, the kind that has to be surgically repaired). And once that all healed, it was amazing. Soooo much better. My thirties have been kind to my sex drive also.

[CanadianHippie]

No clue about stats or probability but I didn't bleed either, and it didn't hurt. It also did nothing for me in any other way. I was a gymnast, at the high school level, and I used tampons and rode a bike. Could be why, but who knows? About a year before the big deed, I crash landed on the beam, straddling it.

I did that once riding a bike. It hurt like hell! And just to show how arbitrary the hymen can be, mine didn't break until a few years later on my own. It did bleed, but not much and it stopped almost immediately. Thanks to comprehensive sex ed, I had no confusion about what happened and didn't panic!

[jesusfreak]

The Lord had graciously provided to give DW a painless slow and gentle digital stretching of her hymen until there was enough room for my slim member to finally enter into it's rest.

Huh? Is he saying the Good Lord was fingering her there? :shock:

[SunnyAndrsn]

I did that once riding a bike. It hurt like hell! And just to show how arbitrary the hymen can be, mine didn't break until a few years later on my own. It did bleed, but not much and it stopped almost immediately. Thanks to comprehensive sex ed, I had no confusion about what happened and didn't panic!

I bled like I had my period for about 24 hours. I also had some bleeding approximately the first 20 times I had sex. After the first 6-8 times it was just spotting. My first time was initially quite painful, but the pain was over very quickly and the rest was not painful. I was sore the next few days though, but just like muscle soreness.

[thoughtful]

No, no, no. God only gives pure, virginal fundies mind blowing orgasms on their wedding night when it doesn't interfere with the needs of the Maxwells. Maybe, then, if there is enough time, he'll think about illness and starvation and poverty and suffering.

[Deleted12]

[devilsadvocate]

It seems extremely bizarre to me that these people are writing pornographic stories for each other while talking about modesty and chastity.

Personally, I would never go into those kinds of details about my sex life with anyone.

[CanadianHippie]

It's not porn if it's "informative". Just like your average teenage boy, they found their way around the "no pornography" rule.

[doggie]

god that song is crazy.

[ilovetchotchkes]

I've got my first incubating right now, so maybe better days are ahead for me, then!

OMG yes. Before I had my son, sex was like, this horrible painful thing for me. We basically resorted to... other methods of having fun if you KWIM. Its a damn miracle I got pregnant. We I had to like, get him REALLY ready to go and then hope that it only lasted a minute or 2. Since i've had the baby? its not been ZOMG MINDBLOWING, but gone from excrutiating "justhinkofEnglandjustthinkofEnglandholyfuckthishurts" to "this is very pleasant! i could do this for a good deal longer, carry on old chap!!" which, you know what? I'm HAPPY with. I wish my sex life could be like a copy of Cosmo magazine, but its not, and its comfortable and it doesn't hurt anymore so I'll take it and RUN!