Viewer discretion is advised judge abusing his daughter

[CynicMom]

Holy SHIT. I made it 1:30 in and that's all I can take. The poor girl. Do you suppose the Dad knows (or cares) that people with cerebral palsy can have painful muscle spasms when they're exposed to stress? Fuck. Him.

[Sola]

I've just heard about this from another source. Was about to come here and post but you beat me to it.

It's shocking. I really hope that criminal charges are brought against this man. I wont call him this father because he isn't a father. That goes way beyond what anyone could ever think is reasonable chastisement.

[Koala]

Many, many, many people are emotionally abused and don't turn into these kinds of abusers. Punish the mother as well! If you are so out of control with your emotions you should have had therapy, not kids. Unbelievably. She is no mother.

Amen. My mother was abused by my father. Physically. And often. He never touched me, but one night he came home in a drunken stupor and threw a glass over our heads (she was sitting on the sofa w/ me on her lap). The glass hit the wall above us and shattered all around. I was only 4 or so, but I remember it very clearly. That was the turning point for her. She said that when he left, I took her face in my hands and said, "don't worry mommy, I will take care of you", and that was it. She realized that we were no longer safe and she threw him out and divorced him. She then proceeded to work her ass off to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. The bastard never paid her a penny of child support. I broke off contact w/ him entirely when I was 11 or 12.

This mother COULD have done something for her child. In fact I don't know any mother alive that would let someone responsible for hurting their baby like that live to to tell the tale. As Jessica said, she is NO MOTHER!

[thoughtful]

I don't wish violence on this man -- I wish long, boring imprisonment, where he controls nothing and nobody. I want him to be without books, exercise equipment, TV or computer, and be told what to do and when to do it, day in and day out, by calm, detached guards.

I suspect he'd hate that worse than any physical punishment, or anything that could let him feel martyred and self-righteous.

[Hisey]

I cannot watch this video. It would be too triggering. Just reading about it is upsetting.

When I was this girl's age, my father did this sort of thing to me. Many times. I rarely talk about it. But I have often fantasized about what I could have done if video technology had existed in the 1970s. Would anyone care? Now I know the answer. People do care.

My mother also stood by and did nothing, or sort of encouraged it.

My mother divorced my sperm-donor father about a decade later. Before she left, she made a secret recording of his emotional abuse. I have often thought of posting it online. But I have been so conditioned to be silent that even this post is difficult.

[hoipolloi]

Can't watch this -- too upsetting even though, thanks be, it wouldn't be a trigger.

Andrew Sullivan has mentioned this & linked to the video on his website, The Daily Dish, which gets thousands of readers per day. It will not get dropped.

[annalena]

I don't wish violence on this man -- I wish long, boring imprisonment, where he controls nothing and nobody. I want him to be without books, exercise equipment, TV or computer, and be told what to do and when to do it, day in and day out, by calm, detached guards.

I wish him this, combined with a couple of fellow imprisoners who hate child abusers. Honestly, I can not be that calm about it. How about murderers, gang members, rapists.

[Boltingmadonna]

Vicka, koala, anyone else here who has been beaten, I'm so sorry and I'm so ANGRY this is allowed to happen. Huge props to you for recognizing that this is wrong and not becoming those disgusting adults who excuse it.

I forced myself to watch the video with the sound on. It made me sick, but I'm glad I did. Everyone should see this and understand how many men who swagger around boasting of how they righteously discipline are really vicious, evil bullies like this man. This clip is so full of wrong. He hits her as hard as he can with a doubled-over belt. He hits her on her legs and body because she won't lie down on the bed. She resists. She has obviously been beaten many times before, so she knows what will happen if she lies on the bed as ordered. I have been there myself, so I know how this works. The abuser yells that you'd better hold still so he can beat you, and claims that if you just submit and take what you've got coming, he'll only beat you as much as is fair and right. But you know that if you believe him and submit, he's going to hurt you a lot. So you keep struggling, even though it enrages him and he then starts hitting you anywhere he can reach. Then he blames you because you MADE him do that by defying him! Actually you weren't defying him--you were just terrified out of your mind and trying pathetically to get away from him any way you could, like any helpless animal. But everything you do is an excuse for him to rage more.

All that is just standard procedure. Extra-sickening stuff is where he threatens to hit her in the face if she won't roll over. Also, where he cursing her and says "fuck" about a million times. That is so degrading to a child, especially a vulnerable girl who is really a young woman at this point. This isn't discipline--this is him degrading her with hatred in his voice. Very damaging. Also, where he gets right in her face and says, in this menacing psycho creepy-soft voice that from now on, if she even raises her voice, if she even looks at him funny, he will beat the shit out of her. That's terrorism.

Also sickening is the mother's behavior. I am also familiar with this. She actually is trying, at one point, to get him to stop hitting the girl. She does this by trying to take over the beating herself, and then telling the girl she'll only hit her once. She does hit her with a belt, but obviously not nearly as hard as the husband did. He isn't satisfied, though, and comes roaring back in and wants to beat her some more. This is a sick, sick thing where a mother will think, in her twisted mind, that she's protecting her kids by beating them first, hoping this will make her husband give them less of a beating because she knows he'll hurt them worse than she would. She won't oppose him, but she tries to placate him.

Also very sick is how the mother turns on the girl, sells her out to the father, by agreeing with everything he says. Oh yes, you're right, we shouldn't ever have any computers, I told her not to do that, I told her, this was all HER idea. She's trying to keep him from getting mad at her by joining with him in blaming her daughter. This is what makes abused kids hate their mothers, even if the father was worse, because they see how she threw them under the bus to buy safety for herself.

My father used to yell at us that we were lucky he only hit us with his hands, because his father would have used a belt. You know . . . after seeing this, I am grateful. I'm grateful I wasn't hit with a belt because I don't even know how much he would have hurt us if he'd started using implements. I guess we were lucky.

This man needs to die. I try not to wish other people harm . . . he can die from a heart attack in his sleep . . . but he needs to get out of my world. I don't want him here.

Oh, and what's also really sick is the people in comments at various sites who defend him. Because what can you do with a mouthy girl except beat the shit out of her? Yeah, really. They can join him in being voted off my island.

[NurseNell]

WTF, this is what the Mom has on her Facebook page: I

am praying for my daughter, Hillary, and her dad, my younger daughter, my mom, my family, and my ex's family. I am praying for my daughters and me and my family to heal in all ways from emotional and physical abuse, for the current and continuing abuse of my children and me that has been ongoing to end -starting now- for my daughters to both finally be able to go to counseling both individually and as a family group with their Dad's approval, encouragement, involvement and support, for him to finally make amends to all of us, talk openly with us, and take the first steps to letting our broken family heal.

Counseling with their Dad's approval? :evil: Hell no, they don't need him for anything.

[NurseNell]

The abuse is horrible in and of itself but that he is a judge is just unbelievable. I hope the attorey general and every other official in that countygets inundated with faxes and emails.

[doggie]

8) If there is no videotape of something, it should not be presented in Court. No videotape, then it didn't happen.

Edited for clarity.

Well he is going to regret #8 for sure.

what a worthless human being (giving him the benefit of the doubt here that he is human) He is why abortion needs to be legal.

[vicka]

WTF, this is what the Mom has on her Facebook page: I

Counseling with their Dad's approval? :evil: Hell no, they don't need him for anything.

you know what this reads like:

i beat my kid on camera, i helped her abusive father, i threw her under the bus to save my own precious skin (as the poster above so eloquently put it) and now i am scared the cops are going to come knocking on my door. so i am going to go ahead and pre-empt an abused wallflower defense. i am so abused, i didn't know what i was doing. really lady? you are an adult. you are a MOTHER. it is your job to protect your CHILD at all costs. other women through themselves under a car to save their kid. there are no excuses. makes me mad.

[Koala]

WTF, this is what the Mom has on her Facebook page: I

Counseling with their Dad's approval? :evil: Hell no, they don't need him for anything.

She is absolutely out of her goddamn mind....I'm sorry, but there's just no other way to say it.

[hoipolloi]

Big article at the UK's Daily Mail: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... games.html

For those (like me) who can't bring themselves to watch, the article has screen caps from the video.

This won't die down and, hopefully, will end in some prison time for him.

[CynicMom]

Turn over and take it... like a grown woman.

Grown women don't take child abuse lying down.

[annalena]

you know what this reads like:

i beat my kid on camera, i helped her abusive father, i threw her under the bus to save my own precious skin (as the poster above so eloquently put it) and now i am scared the cops are going to come knocking on my door. so i am going to go ahead and pre-empt an abused wallflower defense. i am so abused, i didn't know what i was doing. really lady? you are an adult. you are a MOTHER. it is your job to protect your CHILD at all costs. other women through themselves under a car to save their kid. there are no excuses. makes me mad.

yes, this.

[Effie]

I did too. How can we send words of encouragement and thank you for her bravery to Hilary. Anyone have a link to her Facebook page?

I was thinking the same. Is this her mail: shoehedgie@gmail.com? I mean, is shoehedgie her youtube-channel?

Can't we write some kind of encouraging e-mail together? Or send her a letter...?

I don't think I can watch the movie. I feel sick before even watching it.

[annalena]

I think shoehedgie is her youtube indeed.

counseling as a "family group"? let our broken family heal?????

WHAT THE FUCK LADY. the people who need to heal are your daughters. there is no such thing as a "family" here.

what's her mother's name? i want to stalk her page.

[Koala]

what's her mother's name? i want to stalk her page.

I was just about to ask

[emmiedahl]

I finally got up the courage to watch this.

That mother is an abuser as well. I cut her no slack. She was a willing participant in that.

[doggie]

even if he does not go to jail this will kill his career. well what crappy career it was. the guy is a horrible judge and lets hope he crashes and burns.

[NurseNell]

Hallie Adams (Hallie Gorham)

facebook.com/halliegean

[Effie]

Nooo... her cry at 1.13... It's heart-rending. Nooo... :cry: I will stop there.

[Koala]

Hallie Adams (Hallie Gorham)

facebook.com/halliegean

thank you

[annalena]

Wow, check out the comments. Everyone is supportive of her- WHY?!