M is for Mama 17

[3splenty]

On 12/19/2023 at 3:59 PM, neuroticcat said:

I don't know if this is the case for Abbie, but I wonder how much of this comes from the kind of double-speak in Christianity where you can't just own your desires or wants and say: hey, I like nice things or want to buy this thing or have the income to do this project. So it has to be humble-brag way or dressed up in God Did It language or else you are selfish. 

What has always bothered me about this is then people do feel guilty for just having normal desires. It's nice to get a kitchen remodel! If you can afford it, good for you. But it leads to required shallowness - like, okay, well, what does it mean if God gave me a new kitchen or used RV or whatever but thousands of children died today without food? There are no answers for this.
 

I agree about the humble-brag. I see this a lot in my in-laws--"God made sure we'd find the perfect sink on sale so we weren't over-budget!" Or, the one that irks me to no end, "God is blessing me for all the wonderful things I've done!" It feeds the superiority complex. It's like it tells them that "God loves ME more than YOU." All because the sink was on sale? Whatever you think...

I see it as, if I can pay it forward, I will. Thats what I believe God wants me to do--share what I have and do the good I can. Maybe I can't help across the world, but I can help at home. I can afford a few extra things now and then, they go into a donation box and I take it to a shelter. Things like that. I can help in my corner of the world and hopefully make it just a little bit better for someone who needs some help.

ETA: No one knows about my donation box (my kids just found out when I took the feminine products they're allergic to and put them in the box). It's my little thing. It's mostly toiletries and things like that--shampoo, conditioner, pads, tampons, deodorant, body spray, etc.

My oldest daughter calls me a secret agent now lol

Edited January 16 by 3splenty

[SassyPants]

This lady is getting a new kitchen in a 5 year old home. Her twins sleep in pack and plays in the closet. They are the worst kind of parents.

[PopRox]

13 hours ago, SassyPants said:

This lady is getting a new kitchen in a 5 year old home. Her twins sleep in pack and plays in the closet. They are the worst kind of parents.

Shades of That Wife, who had a 2 bedroom apartment yet they kept their son in a pack and play in the bathroom (they needed that other bedroom for "other things," I think it was computers).

[Hane]

11 minutes ago, PopRox said:

Shades of That Wife, who had a 2 bedroom apartment yet they kept their son in a pack and play in the bathroom (they needed that other bedroom for "other things," I think it was computers).

And poor Bathroom Baby suffered inevitable developmental delays because of lack of social, emotional, intellectual, and physical stimulation. And That Wife went on to have another child, but used every excuse she could dig up to leave her kids with her parents for months on end.

This whole mess was a cautionary tale: As a Mormon, she belonged to a religion that strongly stressed marriage and childbearing. She made a PowerPoint presentation to convince her boyfriend why they should get married. And, after all that, she discovered she didn’t like motherhood or marriage *at all*. And eventually left the church.

Edited January 21 by Hane

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

And poor Bathroom Baby suffered inevitable developmental delays because of lack of social, emotional, intellectual, and physical stimulation. And That Wife went on to have another child, but used every excuse she could dig up to leave her kids with her parents for months on end.

This whole mess was a cautionary tale: As a Mormon, she belonged to a religion that strongly stressed marriage and childbearing. She made a PowerPoint presentation to convince her boyfriend why they should get married. And, after all that, she discovered she didn’t like motherhood or marriage *at all*. And eventually left the church.

WTF?!! For the children's sake I hope she turmed over full custody to her parents and never had more children! 

[klein_roeschen]

On 1/21/2024 at 4:13 AM, SassyPants said:

This lady is getting a new kitchen in a 5 year old home. Her twins sleep in pack and plays in the closet. They are the worst kind of parents.

I can't wrap my mind around the kitchen remodel no matter how many mental gymnastics I try. I plan to get a new kitchen for years, because my kitchen is second hand, falls apart and my stove isn't functioning correctly for a long time. But every time I had the money together, I had to spend it elsewhere and move the new kitchen down the line. My whole new kitchen with a new stove will cost way less than what she is spending on these fancy countertops alone. Yes, it's a way smaller kitchen in my apartment (german apartments don't come with kitchens, it's up to the tennant to get what they want and need), but I could go the fancy route myself and spend 10,000 € on it. But my kitchen will come from Ikea and my new stove from an outlet store, because I like to get creative in saving money and do with what I can affort, not what will impress others. But Braggie has this over consumerist mindset down to a t. What will she do when the current trends on kitchens changed again in 5 years? Water damage again so that she can get the latest stuff? Or will they then have desigend a whole new McMansion again for her tastes, this time with more closet space and less kids spaces, because some with have left?

[GreenBeans]

On 1/16/2024 at 7:25 PM, Caroline said:

I get a cold every ten years despite working in a school for the last 40 years. I did finally get Covid about six weeks ago, and that was not fun. My siblings have been just as lucky as me in the sickness department. Just dumb luck. I'm not doing anything amazing, but it seems that most viruses just don't like me. 

Same for my husband. He never gets sick. And if he does, it’s over after 3 days. First day is “I think I’m getting a cold”, second is “ugh, I feel bad, need to take it slow and drink some tea”, third day is “I’m already feeling better!” I am SO jealous! I get a cold at least once per year, and then it usually ends up being bronchitis or sinusitis or something nasty like that.

Right now, I’ve had a cold/bronchitis/sinusitis for two months, and it just won’t go away. I think I caught another new virus on top because yesterday I started feeling so so so awful again (fever, shivers, joint pain, ugh!). The test says it’s neither COVID nor influenza A/B (which I’m both vaccinated against). But whatever it is, it’s knocking me out.

Am I living super healthy? No, but I do eat lots of fruits and fresh veggies, mostly organic, no processed foods, drink only water and tea, no sugary soft drinks etc, so it could certainly be worse. And my husband doesn’t live super healthy either, and he just doesn’t get sick. In the end a lot of it comes down to being lucky in the genetic lottery when it comes to the immune system, I guess.

Edited January 24 by GreenBeans
Removed double post

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, klein_roeschen said:

I can't wrap my mind around the kitchen remodel no matter how many mental gymnastics I try. I plan to get a new kitchen for years, because my kitchen is second hand, falls apart and my stove isn't functioning correctly for a long time. But every time I had the money together, I had to spend it elsewhere and move the new kitchen down the line. My whole new kitchen with a new stove will cost way less than what she is spending on these fancy countertops alone. Yes, it's a way smaller kitchen in my apartment (german apartments don't come with kitchens, it's up to the tennant to get what they want and need), but I could go the fancy route myself and spend 10,000 € on it. But my kitchen will come from Ikea and my new stove from an outlet store, because I like to get creative in saving money and do with what I can affort, not what will impress others. But Braggie has this over consumerist mindset down to a t. What will she do when the current trends on kitchens changed again in 5 years? Water damage again so that she can get the latest stuff? Or will they then have desigend a whole new McMansion again for her tastes, this time with more closet space and less kids spaces, because some with have left?

Our kitchen cabinets and countertops were likely last changed out in the early 80s. I’m mostly going by their style. So they are probably as old as I am. Yet I have no urge to get new ones any time soon. Yes the appliances are newer. But they aren’t fancy at all. My poor fridge has so many dents in it and my toddler broke off a shelf in it. But we still use it. And probably will for years to come. I hate when people just rip things out because they don’t like the look of it. What a waste. I always hate when people have zero imagination and that’s why they rip something out and buy new. I’ve seen so many shows where the cabinets are in good shape but they don’t “go with” the theme of their house. It’s ridiculous. 

Edited January 24 by JermajestyDuggar

[anachronistic]

Houses have themes? I didn't know that. I thought the theme of a house was generally ‘what you can afford and what you like and what you need’ in some combination. I guess it's in kitchens with them, chickens and farm houses come to mind, and bathrooms often have. My bathroom is my only themed room, it is ocean themed, which I mean white and gray and blue stuff, and a mermaid decoration I made at the library. For everyone with little kids that I know, the theme is ‘Little kids live here and we would appreciate them not turning on the stove/ leaving out the front door/ putting their fingers into electrical sockets’.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

Houses have themes? I didn't know that. I thought the theme of a house was generally ‘what you can afford and what you like and what you need’ in some combination. I guess it's in kitchens with them, chickens and farm houses come to mind, and bathrooms often have. My bathroom is my only themed room, it is ocean themed, which I mean white and gray and blue stuff, and a mermaid decoration I made at the library. For everyone with little kids that I know, the theme is ‘Little kids live here and we would appreciate them not turning on the stove/ leaving out the front door/ putting their fingers into electrical sockets’.

 

Oh I don’t have a theme, lol. But some people definitely do. Like a beach theme, a white/beige instagram aesthetic (Bates family), farmhouse, etc.

[3splenty]

Its sad to me that Braggie can't see the things she has. She doesn't even really see the kids she has. She has to have more, more, MORE. For someone who acts like she has it all, she seems to be pretty empty inside and always trying to use something to fill that void.

My house theme is, we live here. Welcome to the chaos.

Edited January 24 by 3splenty

[JermajestyDuggar]

While my kids are in my house, I expect to have a home that isn’t even close to perfect. When you have kids, you really need to just throw that idea of a perfect house right out the window. On top of that, I want practicality. Which can be very ugly sometimes. Oh well, it makes our house work better so I like it. Even if it is ugly and unmatching. Plus I love the stuff my kids make. They aren’t genius child artists. Their work looks like kids made it. And I love it all the same. So we have little clay sculptures on shelves and drawings hung up all over. Most of the stuff on display in my house was made by me or my kids. I want my kids to know I love their creativity and I’m proud to show it off.

Edited January 24 by JermajestyDuggar

[3splenty]

59 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

While my kids are in my house, I expect to have a home that isn’t even close to perfect. When you have kids, you really need to just throw that idea of a perfect house right out the window. On top of that, I want practicality. Which can be very ugly sometimes. Oh well, it makes our house work better so I like it. Even if it is ugly and unmatching. Plus I love the stuff my kids make. They aren’t genius child artists. Their work looks like kids made it. And I love it all the same. So we have little clay sculptures on shelves and drawings hung up all over. Most of the stuff on display in my house was made by me or my kids. I want my kids to know I love their creativity and I’m proud to show it off.

My middle daughter loves art and we have a lot of her drawings and paintings on display. My oldest and youngest love music, so we have lots of pictures from concerts and performances. I'm like you, I'm proud to show off my kids' talents, especially in the arts. Our area seems to live and breathe sports, but I want them to know that the arts are just as important.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, 3splenty said:

My middle daughter loves art and we have a lot of her drawings and paintings on display. My oldest and youngest love music, so we have lots of pictures from concerts and performances. I'm like you, I'm proud to show off my kids' talents, especially in the arts. Our area seems to live and breathe sports, but I want them to know that the arts are just as important.

Growing up, I was into both sports and arts fairly equally. I was pretty versatile in high school. But not with socializing, lol! My kids are not that interested in sports. But there are plenty of other activities. And I’m grateful for that. 

[NotQuiteMotY]

Yeah, with three little kids my house's theme is "Sorry about the mess and watch where you step, I haven't found all the crayons that got dumped out this morning."

We have decorations and furniture we like, but it's what we could get and is comfy or useful or both. I daydream about redoing our bathroom, though.

Edited January 28 by NotQuiteMotY

[3splenty]

My coworker has this sign posted in her entryway:

"Our house is lived in, it isn't for show. If you don't like the mess, then you know where to go."

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 hours ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

Yeah, with three little kids my house's theme is "Sorry about the mess and watch where you step, I haven't found all the crayons that got dumped out this morning."

We have decorations and furniture we like, but it's what we could get and is comfy or useful or both. I daydream about redoing our bathroom, though.

I really like practical furniture and home stuff. Easy to clean fabrics are amazing. Middle range colors are also fabulous. Because you see less dirt and staining I can’t imagine trying to keep a white couch clean with my kids! 

[Caroline]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I really like practical furniture and home stuff. Easy to clean fabrics are amazing. Middle range colors are also fabulous. Because you see less dirt and staining I can’t imagine trying to keep a white couch clean with my kids! 

We're just two adults now, and we wouldn't be able to keep a white couch clean. Unless we didn't sit on it.

[JermajestyDuggar]

41 minutes ago, Caroline said:

We're just two adults now, and we wouldn't be able to keep a white couch clean. Unless we didn't sit on it.

I’m rather clumsy so I’m positive I would stain it too. My husband would probably stain it with little drops of coffee.

[JDuggs]

Shaun told Abbie like it is, but she wore it anyway. She does have a unique sense of style.

Spoiler

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Giggle, oh dear Rufus.

I'd be ROTF LMAO.. She looks ridiculous. Bet she wore the outfit anyway.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Take off that jumper that looks like it was made for a giant toddler, and throw on some jeans FFS. 

[JDuggs]

Her boots look like clown shoes.

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

Her boots look like clown shoes.

I feel like if she was wearing flared leg jeans, they wouldn’t seem so clownish. I say this as someone with size 11 feet who wore big boots like that in the 90s. Having a flared pant leg helped. 

[Ozlsn]

I think what is throwing me is that the pantsuit looks like a summer outfit, and not really designed to go over a jumper but to have a cardigan over it and be paired with sandals.

It is certainly... a look.