Erin and Chad 11: How Does Anyone Sleep?

[Pancakes@Tiffany's]

Sorry if I’m derailing, but I've been trying to go back in the Chad and Erin threads to find the origins of the pink bedroom I've heard mentioned so many times. I used the search feature and made it as far back as Brooklyn's birth thread. Beyond that, I only saw threads about Erin's hair, piano playing, and surgery on her hand from 2011. Does anyone know if there’s an independent thread for the beginning of her marriage when she had the pink bedroom? Or is all of that information only in the main Bates family thread?

[SassyPants]

On 11/22/2023 at 12:31 AM, Giraffe said:

Five kids in essentially four years?! That's an insane rate of reproduction! She's a brood mare! In my very cynical and horrified opinion she probably has at least three in diapers and uses the oldest two as runners out of desperation. Even at 3 and 4 years old the oldest ones probably have bizarrely mature expectations placed on them. (I once knew a woman who gave her two year old chores I'd never seen on anyone younger than early school age. I was at her house once and the baby was expected to empty the dishwasher. I was rather horrified)

My MIL (strict RC) had 5 kids in 4.5 years. My husband, number 5, is convinced his sister (#2 and only girl in the older mix), changed his diapers. His sister would have been 3 at the time. There is no way a 3 YO was safely changing cloth diapers in the late 1950s. To add to this crazy story, my MIL was 37 YO when she had her first, and went on to have 2 more kids (4 and 6 years younger than my husband), making her 47 YO when she had her youngest son. At one point she had a 4.5 YO, 3 YO, 26 Month old, 13 month old and a newborn. INSANE!

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, Pancakes@Tiffany's said:

Sorry if I’m derailing, but I've been trying to go back in the Chad and Erin threads to find the origins of the pink bedroom I've heard mentioned so many times. I used the search feature and made it as far back as Brooklyn's birth thread. Beyond that, I only saw threads about Erin's hair, piano playing, and surgery on her hand from 2011. Does anyone know if there’s an independent thread for the beginning of her marriage when she had the pink bedroom? Or is all of that information only in the main Bates family thread?

Here’s the bedroom. With a dead bouquet of flowers that gives off Miss Havisham vibes. 

[Jackie3]

Michelle Duggar had 6 boys in 5 years.

6 in 5 years, that's more than one a year!  And all boys.

Those lost boys couldn't have gotten everything they needed.

[Jackie3]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Here’s the bedroom. With a dead bouquet of flowers that gives off Miss Havisham vibes. 

That's a much nicer bedroom than her girls have now.

[Alysabeth]

On 11/21/2023 at 6:46 AM, dawn9476 said:

Nate Paine is Chad's brother, who has four kids with one on the way with his wife. They got married in 2018, so I think they are all in with the cult nonsense. And people think the rate that Kendra and Tori are having kids is bad.

Wow. I also got married in 2018, my husband and I have two children and no plans to have any more. I cannot comprehend having 5 children in as many years. 

[rebeccawriter01]

On 11/24/2023 at 3:32 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Here’s the bedroom. With a dead bouquet of flowers that gives off Miss Havisham vibes. 

In the 19KAC episode that featured Chad and Erin's wedding, there is a whole exchange where she tells Ben and Jessa how she is so excited about the pink bedroom and Chad's reaction is amusing if not annoyed.

[JermajestyDuggar]

23 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

In the 19KAC episode that featured Chad and Erin's wedding, there is a whole exchange where she tells Ben and Jessa how she is so excited about the pink bedroom and Chad's reaction is amusing if not annoyed.

So many of these fundies are children intellectually when they get married. Erin definitely falls into that category. 

[Mama Mia]

2 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

In the 19KAC episode that featured Chad and Erin's wedding, there is a whole exchange where she tells Ben and Jessa how she is so excited about the pink bedroom and Chad's reaction is amusing if not annoyed.

I still don’t get what people have against her pink bedroom.  She thinks it’s pretty. I’m sure she couldn’t get all her sisters to agree on something like that. It’s her shot to decorate as she likes. If her husband doesn’t care, why should any one else? He might prefer a different style, but not really care one way or the other. Or he might think it’s nice and romantic.  It’s just paint and fabric 

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

I still don’t get what people have against her pink bedroom.  She thinks it’s pretty. I’m sure she couldn’t get all her sisters to agree on something like that. It’s her shot to decorate as she likes. If her husband doesn’t care, why should any one else? He might prefer a different style, but not really care one way or the other. Or he might think it’s nice and romantic.  It’s just paint and fabric 

It’s because it shows exactly the problem with how she grew up. She couldn’t ever have a room like that growing up. She had very little choice in decorating her bedroom when that’s almost like a rite of passage for many young women in the US. I’m not even that into decorating and I put a huge amount of effort into decorating my bedroom just for myself when I was a teen. It meant a lot to me. Especially since many teen girls spend a lot of time in their bedrooms. I even helped two of my friends decorate their bedrooms when I was a teen. This room should have happened long before she was married. If she came from a family of 3 kids, it likely would have. But it’s like she was going back in time to right a wrong with this bedroom. And it’s sad as hell. Of course she changed it within a couple years. Because she likely grew in her style. 

[Jackie3]

13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s because it shows exactly the problem with how she grew up. She couldn’t ever have a room like that growing up. She had very little choice in decorating her bedroom when that’s almost like a rite of passage for many young women in the US. I’m not even that into decorating and I put a huge amount of effort into decorating my bedroom just for myself when I was a teen. It meant a lot to me. Especially since many teen girls spend a lot of time in their bedrooms. I even helped two of my friends decorate their bedrooms when I was a teen. This room should have happened long before she was married. If she came from a family of 3 kids, it likely would have. But it’s like she was going back in time to right a wrong with this bedroom. And it’s sad as hell. Of course she changed it within a couple years. Because she likely grew in her style. 

Well, she's denying that choice to her girls. They are crammed four to a room, and Erin decorated it. Little girls can have decorating preferences and choices, but Erin wouldn't like them, so it went her way.

But I don't agree that decorating your own bedroom is a vital rite of passage. Millions of girls never have that option and grow up without frustrated decorating urges. 

 

Edited November 26, 2023 by Jackie3

[anjulibai]

And the even sadder part, of course, is instead of learning from her childhood and giving her children the chance to decorate their rooms the way they please, she decorates them how she wants. 

[Mama Mia]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s because it shows exactly the problem with how she grew up. She couldn’t ever have a room like that growing up. She had very little choice in decorating her bedroom when that’s almost like a rite of passage for many young women in the US. I’m not even that into decorating and I put a huge amount of effort into decorating my bedroom just for myself when I was a teen. It meant a lot to me. Especially since many teen girls spend a lot of time in their bedrooms. I even helped two of my friends decorate their bedrooms when I was a teen. This room should have happened long before she was married. If she came from a family of 3 kids, it likely would have. But it’s like she was going back in time to right a wrong with this bedroom. And it’s sad as hell. Of course she changed it within a couple years. Because she likely grew in her style. 

IME lots of kids share a room with a sibling growing up.  You don’t have to have 18 siblings, or even 2 or 3 to need to share. Most people I’ve known have same sex and/or close in age kids share a room. Back a trillion years ago I had my own room once in awhile, but had my grandma and various relatives moving in and out frequently, so mostly shared with my sister.  I don’t know, while I agree it’s fun and nice to get that chance to have a private teen girl room, It’s hardly a universal experience, and there’s nothing wrong with expressing those design choices later.  I think on this site we really tend to -rightly- say “ patriarchal controlling husband bad!” But if any of these men seem ‘soft’ like maybe even enjoying a super pink and frilly bedroom, we wonder why they put up with their wife’s whims.   

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

IME lots of kids share a room with a sibling growing up.  You don’t have to have 18 siblings, or even 2 or 3 to need to share. Most people I’ve known have same sex and/or close in age kids share a room. Back a trillion years ago I had my own room once in awhile, but had my grandma and various relatives moving in and out frequently, so mostly shared with my sister.  I don’t know, while I agree it’s fun and nice to get that chance to have a private teen girl room, It’s hardly a universal experience, and there’s nothing wrong with expressing those design choices later.  I think on this site we really tend to -rightly- say “ patriarchal controlling husband bad!” But if any of these men seem ‘soft’ like maybe even enjoying a super pink and frilly bedroom, we wonder why they put up with their wife’s whims.   

I didn’t say anything about not sharing rooms being a part of the needed experience. One of my friends always shared a room. With the opposite sex no less! Yet we divided the room and half and did a great job decorating her half of the room. When you share a room with 7 other people, you can’t split it 8 different ways to decorate. And I never said anything about Chad. In my experience, the men in my circle don’t really care how their wives decorate the bedrooms. I didn’t even consider Chad much to be honest. Because he probably just wanted to have sex for the first time and didn’t care what the room looked like. 

[rebeccawriter01]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I didn’t say anything about not sharing rooms being a part of the needed experience. One of my friends always shared a room. With the opposite sex no less! Yet we divided the room and half and did a great job decorating her half of the room. When you share a room with 7 other people, you can’t split it 8 different ways to decorate. And I never said anything about Chad. In my experience, the men in my circle don’t really care how their wives decorate the bedrooms. I didn’t even consider Chad much to be honest. Because he probably just wanted to have sex for the first time and didn’t care what the room looked like. 

Chad clearly would have done whatever, including living in a pink nightmare, to get some sex. The 19KAC episode was just really funny because she was like a nine year old showing off her new unicorn bedspread and he was looking like he wanted the floor to open up at that moment. Even Jessa, who is oblivious, picked up on it. He never said anything bad, but I do think he was embarrassed to be on camera and in front of other people pretending to like a pink bedroom.

Erin's maturity level at that point was so young. She would later interview that she couldn't stand to be there (at the house) by herself because she was scared and lonely. In their latest video they are redecorating their bedroom. He uses boards from his childhood bed that she wrote messages to him on when she would come visit. She was in freaking college at that point (granted it was Crown) and was writing love notes with hearts on the furniture. There are ways to decorate with pastels that wouldn't have been so 3rd grade chic. However, Erin never had that opportunity at home.

[Jackie3]

8 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I didn’t say anything about not sharing rooms being a part of the needed experience. One of my friends always shared a room. With the opposite sex no less! Yet we divided the room and half and did a great job decorating her half of the room. When you share a room with 7 other people, you can’t split it 8 different ways to decorate. And I never said anything about Chad. In my experience, the men in my circle don’t really care how their wives decorate the bedrooms. I didn’t even consider Chad much to be honest. Because he probably just wanted to have sex for the first time and didn’t care what the room looked like. 

It's really a first world perspective to assume that every young girl "needs" to decorate her own bedroom as a rite of passage.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

A lot of these fundies have young, cutsey courtships because they aren't allowed to do a lot of adult things during courtships... like being alone and having deep conversations.  They also haven't gotten that out of their system with more youthful romances.  I'll cut her some slack on the messages because my husband would think that was so sweet, even now that we've been married over 9 years.  He's more sentimental than I am, though.

[Bassett Lady]

My husband loves Star Wars and came to our marriage with lots of toys, vehicles, action figures, and LEGO constructions. 
 

During the first year of our marriage, I got the joy of having all that stuff in the living room. 
 

I didn’t want to tell him his beloved items weren’t welcome in our home, but I didn’t want them in the living room. 
 

I got him a Star Wars full sized bedspread and sheets for our first Christmas. I then redecorate our master bedroom with all of his Star Wars gear. 
 

He told all his friends about how awesome I was and bragged about how we had a Star Wars bedroom. He felt loved and appreciated, and I got my living room back, sans toys. 
 

It was a win/win for us and the kind of compromise that makes a marriage happy and healthy. 
 

Perhaps Chad was very happy to have a very pink bedroom if it meant he didn’t have a pink and lace covered living room. 

[Kiki03910]

13 minutes ago, Bassett Lady said:

My husband loves Star Wars and came to our marriage with lots of toys, vehicles, action figures, and LEGO constructions. 
 

During the first year of our marriage, I got the joy of having all that stuff in the living room. 
 

I didn’t want to tell him his beloved items weren’t welcome in our home, but I didn’t want them in the living room. 
 

I got him a Star Wars full sized bedspread and sheets for our first Christmas. I then redecorate our master bedroom with all of his Star Wars gear. 
 

He told all his friends about how awesome I was and bragged about how we had a Star Wars bedroom. He felt loved and appreciated, and I got my living room back, sans toys. 
 

It was a win/win for us and the kind of compromise that makes a marriage happy and healthy. 
 

Perhaps Chad was very happy to have a very pink bedroom if it meant he didn’t have a pink and lace covered living room. 

You are an awesome person.

[JermajestyDuggar]

It is almost as if Erin reads here…

[Jackie3]

It's a shame she's not putting an effort into giving her girls a bedroom like that.

All those pillows would drive me nuts.

I doubt she reads here. Six kids, including a newborn, homeschooling, cooking, laundry, animals, redecorating. . .she doesn't have the free time. Or the interest, probably. 

[Pancakes@Tiffany's]

On 11/28/2023 at 10:37 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

It is almost as if Erin reads here…

I know right? If I’d only waited a week more. 😁

As a third-world-lian female, I was incredibly thrilled and felt very grownup when my mother allowed me to decorate and pick the colours for my own bedroom. We were NorthAm immigrants, and by the time I was in my early teens, my mother was finally financially stable enough for both myself and my sister to do this. We lived in a sort of shotgun apartment where all the main rooms lined up, and you had to walk through my sister's bedroom to get to my bedroom and my bedroom to get to the family room, but I was still thrilled that it was being considered my own space and decorated to my liking.

[Dbm]

Finely is literally Erin's twin, a lot of people say Everly look like her the most but i don't see it,

Erin posted her picture yesterday, look at the resemblance 

Spoiler

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 hours ago, Dbm said:

Finely is literally Erin's twin, a lot of people say Everly look like her the most but i don't see it,

Erin posted her picture yesterday, look at the resemblance 

  Hide contents

 

This is how the kids go when it comes to looks. 
 

Erin and Chad’s 1st, 3rd, and 5th children all look like Erin. And then their 2nd and 4th children look like Chad. William is still young but from what I’ve seen, he will fit the pattern. I think he looks more like Chad. It’s strange how every other child looks like one parent. 

[CanadianMamam]

I think Everly and Finley both strongly resemble Erin, to the point there is almost no Chad.

 

Holland is all Chad and I usually think Brooklyn looks more like Chad, but there is this one pic of young Erin where all I can see is Brooklyn.