Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 47

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"Serving Jordan"

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In 2021, there were 205 Republican members of Congress and Ohio’s Jim Jordan was ranked as the 202nd most effective Republican at passing legislation. Jim Jordan is one of the worst representatives “serving” this nation in Congress. And since he refuses to serve his district by doing the job he was elected to do, he just got served.

Jim Jordan engages in political bullying and gaslighting more than he legislates. You never hear Jordan talk about actual legislation. What he does is run interference for the Republican Party and Donald Trump while attacking their political opponents. While questioning Hillary Clinton during the Benghazi hearings (which resulted in a bunch of nothing), Jordan argued that no one had the right to withhold information from Congress. Years later, he withheld information from Congress by refusing to cooperate with the committee investigating the white nationalist terrorist attack to overturn the 2020 election and make Donald Trump Hair GropenFuhrer.

Now after refusing to cooperate with an investigation over terrorism, Jordan is chairing other investigations. One of them is into Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg who’s currently prosecuting Donald Trump over the secret hush money payments to silence porn star Stormy Daniels over their Las Vegas boinking. In fact, Jim Jordan announced the investigation before there was an indictment.

Jordan claims the investigations into Trump are political while he runs political interference. He plans to conduct a congressional hearing next week in Manhattan about crime in New York City, as a way to attack Bragg and accuse him of ignoring “real crimes” to go after Trump.

Democratic Representative Dan Goldman of New York said, “Instead of focusing on improving the lives of the American people, Jim Jordan has decided to come to my district at the behest of Donald Trump to continue to weaponize Congress to obstruct an ongoing, non-federal criminal prosecution. If Jordan truly cared about public safety, he’d be having a field hearing in Nashville, Tennessee, or Louisville, Kentucky, where the most recent of the daily mass shootings have killed more innocent Americans.”

While Jordan is accusing Bragg of ignoring his city, Jim Jordan is ignoring his district and state. Here’s a fun fact: Manhattan is NOT in Ohio. Did Jim Jordan run for his seat with a message on tackling crime in Manhattan?

Jordan’s little circus is scheduled for Monday in Manhattan and is titled, “Victims of Violent Crime in Manhattan.” There should be a hearing by Democrats in Jordan’s Ohio district titled, “Victims of Negligent Douche-Nozzle Congressmen with Ridiculous Punchable Faces.”

Jordan’s committee says that Monday’s hearing will “examine how Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s pro-crime, anti-victim policies have led to an increase in violent crime and a dangerous community for New York City residents.” Actually, there’s a decrease in violent crime in New York City, but since this is Jordan’s committee, facts are not allowed.

Before the Trump indictment, Jordan subpoenaed a former prosecutor who worked on the Trump investigation, asked another employee to turn over personal emails, and has demanded that Bragg go before Congress and give Jordan all the dirt he has on Trump (wouldn’t that be handy?). Can we expect Jordan to start an investigation on the investigation in Georgia?

Now, Bragg has sued Jordan.

Bragg’s suit says Jordan’s investigation is a “transparent campaign to intimidate and attack.”

The suit filed in federal court in New York City states, “Congress has no power to supervise state criminal prosecutions. Nor does Congress have the power to serve subpoenas for the personal aggrandizement of the investigators or to punish those investigated.”

It also says, “The charges the District Attorney filed against Mr. Trump were approved by citizens of New York.” Jim Jordan better lock the doors to his hearing in Manhattan so Manhattanites don’t get in because most of them want to see Trump prosecuted.

It further states, “Rather than allowing the criminal process to proceed in the ordinary course, Chairman Jordan and the Committee are participating in a campaign of intimidation, retaliation, and obstruction.”

Jordan tweeted, “First, they indict a president for no crime. Then, they sue to block congressional oversight when we ask questions about the federal funds they say they used to do it.” Jordan’s tweet proved his sham investigation is totally political by stating that Trump was indicted for “no crime.” How does Jordan know? He’s not a lawyer and the case hasn’t been tried yet. Falsifying business records is a crime and one that’s been prosecuted a lot in Manhattan. Maybe Jordan’s little hearing can take a look at that fact.

Jim Jordan is not just a terrible representative. He doesn’t just suck at his job. He’s a horrible vile human being. He’s a liar who looks the other way while people are being sexually assaulted. He helped an insurrection try to destroy our democracy then refused to cooperate with an investigation, and now demands others to cooperate with his sham political investigations. He’s a goon who tried to throw out the Electoral College votes from 2020. He’s a sycophant who defends criminals while howling about crime in New York City.

What I want to know is, will Jim Jordan get shouted out of Manhattan faster than Marjorie Taylor Greene got out shouted off the island last week?

 

[GreyhoundFan]

 

 

"Mouse Poker"

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Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is making his fight against Disney personal. It has less to do with what’s best for the people in the state of Florida and more to do with Boots DeSantis’ fragile ego. In fact, the entire squabble started over his ego.

When the “Don’t Say Gay” law was first proposed, Disney came out against it. The smartest thing DeSantis and Republicans could have done with that was to ignore it. Nothing would have changed from it. The homophobic bill would have still become law, Florida bigots would all high-five each other, and Disney would continue going about business as usual and bringing in money to the state as it’s been doing for the past 56 years. After all, Disney is the largest employer in Florida. It would take a real dumbass to fuck with that.

So Governor Dumbass fucked with that. Making it personal, he and his Republican goons sought to punish Disney and did so by revoking the status of their special governing district. Florida is full of these special districts. They allow a company to self-govern an area, like with sewer and road maintenance thus reducing the tax obligations of citizens in those districts. It’s more complicated than how I explained it, but that’s the gist. Disney maintained its own local government, police department, and fire department for 56 years.

By taking away the special status, Republicans put the tax burden on citizens in the district. It took them a year to pass a new bill to put all the financial obligations back onto Disney while still not allowing them to self-govern. And, a new board was created to oversee the district. Naturally, the board is full of religious fundamental homophobic goons DeSantis appointed. DeSantis stated that he expects the board to go beyond making decisions on matters like water, roads, and sewage, and work to influence the content Disney puts out. But right before DeSantis’ new board of religious zealots, sycophants, and fucknuts could take control, the Mouse pulled a fast one. And it did it in broad daylight.

At the 11th hour, the outgoing board approved a change that allows Disney to retain control over the land within the outer limits of Orange and Osceola counties “21 years after the death of the last survivor of the descendants of King Charles III, king of England.” That fucks things up for DeSantis and basically makes the new board powerless. The new rule states, “Any changes will be “subject to Disney’s prior review and comment” to “ensure consistency with the overall design and theming” of the company’s park.” The good news for DeSantis and Republicans is that they’ll have full power to put Disney in its place 21 years after the last member of England’s royal family dies.

With this new ruling, Disney no longer needs board approval to build high-density projects or buildings of any height and can sell or assign development rights. It also bans the board from using Disney’s name or any of its characters.

One of DeSantis’ board members, Ron Peri, a right-wing homophobic Christian pastor said, “This board loses, for practical purposes, the majority of its ability to do anything beyond maintain the roads and maintain basic infrastructure.” You know this board full of homophobic religious fundamentalists didn’t join the board because they care about water and sewage. You know these goons joined up to prevent Disney from making future movies where Disney princesses marry Disney princesses. I’d watch that.

Disney issued a statement saying, “All agreements signed between Disney and the District were appropriate, and were discussed and approved in open, noticed public forums in compliance with Florida’s ‘Government in the Sunshine’ law.” Disney made the entire process public with notices knowing that Republicans were too busy high-fiving each other to notice.

Florida Republican lawmakers are once again talking about changing laws to invalidate the new rules. DeSantis himself is promising to punish the corporation further by piling on new taxes and toll roads to Disney, which is a weird position to take if you want to be the Republican nominee for president. How do you tell Republicans to vote for the guy who just raised taxes on a corporation? How do you tell Republicans to vote for the guy that just added higher fees to families visiting Disney World in Orlando? Disney isn’t going to pay those tolls, tourists are.

And, if DeSantis is hoping toll roads will discourage people from visiting and spending their money at Disney World, then he’s also discouraging people from visiting and spending their money in Florida. I don’t think even Donald Trump, who doesn’t understand that Americans pay for higher tariffs on China, is that stupid. Most governors want tourists to visit and spend money in their states, right?

In Kenny Rogers’ song “The Gambler,” he sings, “You gotta know when to hold them. Know when to fold them. Know when to walk away. Know when to run.” Ron DeSantis needs to know when he shouldn’t be playing poker because he doesn’t know how.

This is why I always try to play poker with Republicans.

 

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"Forum Shopping"

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There are multiple national anti-abortion groups throughout the United States, but I don’t think any of them are based in Amarillo, Texas. What’s that got to do with anything? Because the federal judge who just ruled that the FDA’s approval of the abortion pill, mifepristone, is invalid (even though it was approved 23 years ago) is on a court in Amarillo.

Matthew Kacsmaryk is a United States district judge of the United States District Court for the Northern District of Texas. He’s the only judge for that district. So, if a case is filed in the Northern District of Texas, it’s guaranteed that Kacsmaryk will be your judge. Kacsmaryk is also a right-wing Christian religious zealot who was counsel for anti-abortion groups before he became a judge. So if you want a ruling against abortion or gay rights or Obamacare or anything President Biden wants, then you want Kacsmaryk. If you too are a fundamentalist nutjob, he will rule on your side and insert all his anti-science conspiracy religious bullshit in his opinion because he can’t help himself. He hates the word “fetus.”

But, what if your organization that’s trying to strip women of control over their own bodies isn’t based in Amarillo? Let’s face it, who wants to be in Amarillo? I’ve never been to Amarillo but my first thought when it’s mentioned is, “No.” So what you do to get your case before the Jesus judge is to have an organization located in Amarillo file the case for you, and that’s where the Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine comes in.

The Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine is a consortium of anti-abortion groups. The organization relocated to Amarillo shortly after Judge Nutters was seated on that bench. Where did they relocate from? I don’t know. Their website doesn’t provide a lot of information and most of it is password encrypted. It mentions the groups it represents but doesn’t even link to them. There’s a video I didn’t watch because I’m afraid I won’t get that 1:40 of my life back, and a mission statement. It’s also a WordPress site and I know from experience that means they created it as cheaply as possible without having to have any web design knowledge. Quite frankly, I’m shocked they even own their domain and their site isn’t hosted on Blogspot.

What AHM did was go forum shopping. You’ve heard of politicians gerrymandering their districts so it’s not as much as voters choosing their representatives, but the candidates choosing their voters. Here, plaintiffs are choosing their judges.

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton recently brought a case to Kacsmaryk’s court challenging a new Labor Department rule about the investment of pension trust assets. He could have filed this in Austin because that’s the state capital or Dallas, where the Labor Department’s regional offices are located, but no. He filed it in fucknut court. He’s done this seven times.

There are 27 divisions in Texas’ four district federal courts. Ten of those courts only have two judges. Nine only have one. Most states require judges to move to another court from time to time to make judge shopping more difficult. Texas does not have this requirement.

After Donald Trump was busted for stealing classified documents, he tried to get the entire thing thrown out by taking it to a judge he appointed and one of 14 who was confirmed AFTER he lost the election in 2020. Instead of fighting the Justice Department in Washington, D.C., Trump took it to Miami where Aileen Cannon, one of his appointees sat. Sure, it’s near Mar-a-Lago, but Trump and his lawyers specifically selected Cannon who sided with Trump on everything until a higher court threw all her rulings outs with a scolding of Trump’s judge.

How much experience did Cannon have as a judge before Trump put her on a federal bench? Zero. How much did Kacmaryk have as a judge? Also zero. Trump and Mitch McConnell put over 200 judges on federal benches, including three on the Supreme Court. One thing most of them have in common is inexperience. Kacsmaryk is 46 and Cannon is 42. The average age for Trump-appointed judges is 47. Our federal court system will be infested with Trumpers for decades.

A Gallup poll conducted in June 2022, showed that just 25 percent of Americans said they have “a great deal” or “quite a lot” of confidence in the Supreme Court. If 75 percent of Americans don’t have a great deal of confidence in the Supreme Court, then they shouldn’t have it in the lower federal courts either.

Keep in mind that the over 200 judges were appointed by a guy who lost the popular vote and they were confirmed by a Republican Senate that also lost the popular vote. We are living by white Christian fundamentalist minority rule. Holy shit, this is Apartheid.

 

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