Jinjer 59: Cooking with Prepared Spice Mix

[Idlewild]

Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

But is it the high road? 

It could be that she is worried she’d be forbidden from contacting her younger siblings who are still at home if she went all out and trashed JB & M. I can see JB being shitty like that. Or, more cynically, she realised there would be a backlash from the old school humpers who still think the Duggars are godly and didn’t want to alienate all of them as no doubt some are buying her coffee brand or downloading her cooking podcasts still.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Idlewild said:

It could be that she is worried she’d be forbidden from contacting her younger siblings who are still at home if she went all out and trashed JB & M. I can see JB being shitty like that. Or, more cynically, she realised there would be a backlash from the old school humpers who still think the Duggars are godly and didn’t want to alienate all of them as no doubt some are buying her coffee brand or downloading her cooking podcasts still.

I think Jinger may not realize it but she still could be very fearful of retribution and cutting her off from the little kids. I know she feels less afraid of displeasing God by wearing pants. But her parents are possibly still feared by Jinger. 

I think right now everyone is focusing on what it does say (which is a lot about Gothard) but once all that dies down, I think everyone will realize what it doesn’t say. The fact that she says very little about her parents says a lot to me. 

[Coconut Flan]

Jinger knows Jim Bob well and has the example of how he has treated Jill in front of her.  She also hates "creating division."  I think she's done well.  Reading the book, she sees how her parents were taken in by Gothard and how that lead to her issues.  It's plain there is a direct line.  She doesn't need to drop an anvil over it.  What good would come of her outright blaming her parents?  She doesn't need to do a Prince Harry repeat.  

She puts the blame on Josh for what he did and that, in truth, is where it belongs.  He was old enough to know better when he began his career of sexual deviance.  

Could her parents have done better?  Assuredly, but in the end, we all know that and so do her readers.  

[seraaa]

27 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think Jinger may not realize it but she still could be very fearful of retribution and cutting her off from the little kids. I know she feels less afraid of displeasing God by wearing pants. But her parents are possibly still feared by Jinger. 

I think right now everyone is focusing on what it does say (which is a lot about Gothard) but once all that dies down, I think everyone will realize what it doesn’t say. The fact that she says very little about her parents says a lot to me. 

In the early chapters she talks about having an enjoyable childhood, and that her parents were kind and loving and wanted the best for them. She shares the story about how Michelle helped her through her eating disorder. All that might be true, *and* she might also have more complex feelings towards her parents that she hasn't shared with us

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, seraaa said:

In the early chapters she talks about having an enjoyable childhood, and that her parents were kind and loving and wanted the best for them. She shares the story about how Michelle helped her through her eating disorder. All that might be true, *and* she might also have more complex feelings towards her parents that she hasn't shared with us

It’s really hard for abused children to go against their parents. I’ve seen it a lot personally. That kids who were abused terribly by their parents will still stick up for them, even cover up for them, just to maintain a relationship with them. It is so sad. 

[Cam]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

But is it the high road? 

Imo, yes because I’ve done it myself and that’s how I classified it. My parents were quite dysfunctional. They’ve both been deceased for years, but I was friends with them before they died and still love them. I did not suffer sexual abuse at their hands, but they both did some shitty things to me, and yet I still have compassion for them and wish I’d been a better daughter. 

Edited February 2, 2023 by Cam

[neuroticcat]

14 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Who/what is that?

It’s a blog that has spotlighted abuse and other harmful things in the church for awhile now - from before the metoo movement I think. I don’t know a lot more than that. 

I also think she’s probably navigating things like views on what is gossip, slander, etc. 

Macarthur is big on nouthetic counseling which would prohibit unkind speech or dishonoring parents or things like that. So I think she’ll tell her story in whatever parameters means speaking the truth and addressing the problems but not just spill tea or be very specific. 
 

I imagine she has IBLP people in mind as far as helping them out, but the numbers of IBLP people aren’t that big. The vagueness is probably somewhat b/c of not alienating the Bates family or something but also because she wants to reach a broader audience. 
 

Die hard IBLP people will not read her book (look out what a transformed Wife Lori has to say)…only critique for disrespecting parents

 

Edited February 3, 2023 by Coconut Flan
Fixing text speak.

[noseybutt]

I am not sure I would hold abuse survivors and other crime victims to the “high road” standard. 

Is it better for their mental health and/or an indication that they have most likely moved beyond a reactive style of responding? Probably.

But trauma survivors get to do trauma healing however works for them—provided they are not harming others.

I also don’t see it as the responsibility of the victims to educate about IBLP and Gothard. Or, perhaps a better way to phrase it, it’s not their responsibility exclusively. Plenty of people can speak out. Many many men had to have known what was happening.

Jinger is speaking out. She looks good. I’ll take this as a win.

[starfish]

Jinger has been on quite the media tour with her new book. Has anyone read it? We've been iced in so I haven't been to the book store to get it. 

 

[VixenToast]

On 1/31/2023 at 4:26 PM, AprilQuilt said:

oh, one more thing! A great ambition of mine is for the Duggars and their ilk to stop using disposable plates at every meal. I'm begging! The planet is on fire! The oceans are all clogged up with polystyrene! And these megafamilies don't even recycle. It kills me, the selfishness. Whatever "freedom" looks like, I demand that it include a 24-piece dinner service.

I’m suicidally depressed most days. Sorry. It’s disposable for me. Dishes are too overwhelming. Sorry if if I’m too expendable to you in regards to the earth. Thanks for giving me one more reason. Isn’t this argument and dead horse by now and just hurtful?

 

edit: ventured back on for social interaction…. Popped onto this page first, trying a new page tomorrow, this is too much.

Edited February 3, 2023 by VixenToast
Moping

[Ms. Brightside]

1 hour ago, VixenToast said:

I’m suicidally depressed most days. Sorry. It’s disposable for me. Dishes are too overwhelming. Sorry if if I’m too expendable to you in regards to the earth. Thanks for giving me one more reason. Isn’t this argument and dead horse by now and just hurtful?

 

edit: ventured back on for social interaction…. Popped onto this page first, trying a new page tomorrow, this is too much.

There’s a big difference between a single person using disposable options when necessary (I’m thinking bouts of severe depression, someone who breaks their arm and can’t do dishes without getting the cast wet, and the list goes on. You’re not alone), and a couple who birth 19 children and install an industrial dishwasher in their house but still choose to have all 21 people eating 3 meals a day off disposable plates. With snacks and the entertaining they seem to do, they go through more in an average DAY than you go through in a month.  
 

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time right now and hope you can take a moment to remember that for (almost) everything people snark about here, there’s a reason it exists in the first place and just because someone says something negative in one context doesn’t mean any association with that thing is bad. Disposable dishware is a luxury we are lucky to have when we need it, religion comforts many people in times of need and can be a wonderful source of community, homeschooling can be a gift for kids who struggle to have their needs met in a traditional classroom, etc.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow ❤️

Edited February 3, 2023 by Ms. Brightside

[JMO]

Well said @Ms. Brightside. I would also add that JB has been vocally anti environmental since he believes that God would never let the planet of his chosen people to degrade bc of man made actions.  If it isnt in the bible to be mindful of resources than God must no need us to care. 

And @VixenToast I will also second that I hope that you have a better day. Depression is a cruel disease and can be all consuming. I'm sending you good thoughts today. 

Edited February 3, 2023 by JMO

[CanadianMamam]

On 2/1/2023 at 3:47 PM, Lista said:

The only difference from JW is Gothard.  I actually met him when I was 4.  He talked to my dad about home school & weird stuff like that. Saying girls should be in long dresses. No joke. Thank god my dad laughed at him.  My dad drank.  Gothard didn’t want anyone that drank.  But neither do jeahivah wittinesses.  Imagine going to school and it’s your birthday.  Teacher makes a big deal.  But I was told to hang my head.  Because christs birthday was way more important. 
 

 

The Jehovah Witnesses I know drink. I have been to JW weddings and alcohol flower freely. Now the weddings were creepy in other ways, it was the first time I (raised protestant, married Catholic) had ever heard the idea of headship and it was the main focus of the ceremony. I remember feeling so uncomfortable. 

[viii]

11 hours ago, VixenToast said:

Sorry if if I’m too expendable to you in regards to the earth. Thanks for giving me one more reason.

I know you're hurting. I have been depressed before. I have felt suicidal many, MANY times. However, this is an unfair thought to put on somebody else who had zero malicious intentions in their comments. There is a massive difference as other posters have pointed out between the Duggars and people who struggling. None of this was reflected at you in the least. However, I know that part of managing my depression is making sure that I am not putting unfair intentions on people who don't have them. @AprilQuilt did not deserve this comment. 

[libgirl2]

14 hours ago, starfish said:

Jinger has been on quite the media tour with her new book. Has anyone read it? We've been iced in so I haven't been to the book store to get it. 

 

I read it fairly quickly, two days. I was surprised that I enjoyed it for the most part. I didn't necessarily agree with everything that was written, but I did find some common ground. Yes, she was kind to her parents and really bashed Gothard. Not as much as I thought there would be about Josh though. And  yes, she spoke of this site. She said something like we were well meaning. 

Overall, it might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I came out of it kind of liking her. 

Edited February 3, 2023 by libgirl2

[nst]

41 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

I read it fairly quickly, two days. I was surprised that I enjoyed it for the most part. I didn't necessarily agree with everything that was written, but I did find some common ground. Yes, she was kind to her parents and really bashed Gothard. Not as much as I thought there would be about Josh though. And  yes, she spoke of this site. She said something like we were well meaning. 

Overall, it might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I came out of it kind of liking her. 

well that is interesting. I ended up buying pamela anderson's book and then returning it because again these two are completely different....

[libgirl2]

13 minutes ago, nst said:

well that is interesting. I ended up buying pamela anderson's book and then returning it because again these two are completely different....

I saw that she has a book too. Honestly, I'm not terribly interested. I never was a fan and I think most of her life has been out there anyway. 

[Cam]

I just watched the Netflix documentary about Pamela Anderson and found it insightful: “Pamela: A Love Story”. It’s not like I’m big fan of hers, but I like her. 
 

I have a hold on her book at the library.
 

[Smee]

On 2/3/2023 at 5:16 AM, Cam said:

As for other Duggar siblings writing books, I’m not saying an “expose” is the way to go. But they can put their own perspective out there, separate themselves somewhat from their parents’ beliefs and set the record straight on how they view Josh and everything that went down with him. Looking at you, Jill.

 

I don’t think Jill needs to write a book for the world to know how she views Josh or that she’s separated herself from her parents’ beliefs. She went to the trial, put out a statement afterwards, has done media interviews and videos (not as part of a book tour) where she’s clarified her position on stuff like clothes and birth control and theology, even the fact that she and Derrick disagree with one another about some stuff like young earth creationism. If she wrote a book I’d read it, but if she doesn’t want to, she can just carry on living her life in a way that doesn’t implicitly approve of her parents’ approach.

Jessa, on the other hand… there’s a mismatch for me between what she shows/says/does and what Jinger is saying about her and Ben being the gateway to realising there are other ways of thinking. 

[libgirl2]

26 minutes ago, Smee said:

Jessa, on the other hand… there’s a mismatch for me between what she shows/says/does and what Jinger is saying about her and Ben being the gateway to realising there are other ways of thinking. 

I completely agree with you on that. I was reading those parts and I thought "really?".

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Maybe Ben’s family showed her that you can be a Christian conservative without being in a cult too. 

[Ms. Brightside]

Does she ever mention Ben by name? I haven’t read the book, and I know she met Jeremy through Ben/Jessa, but could she possibly be implying Derick when she says brother-in-law? Derick is the one who pulled his family from the show and started having them step away from Duggarville, so it might make sense that he’s the brother-in-law who first got her thinking about that option. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

3 hours ago, Ms. Brightside said:

Does she ever mention Ben by name? I haven’t read the book, and I know she met Jeremy through Ben/Jessa, but could she possibly be implying Derick when she says brother-in-law? Derick is the one who pulled his family from the show and started having them step away from Duggarville, so it might make sense that he’s the brother-in-law who first got her thinking about that option. 

Yes, she says it was the Seewalds.  She spent a lot of time with them because she had to chaperone. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Jinger in interviews is saying she has great parents. And I’m over here wondering what bad parents look like to her if she has great parents. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

22 hours ago, Ms. Brightside said:

There’s a big difference between a single person using disposable options when necessary (I’m thinking bouts of severe depression, someone who breaks their arm and can’t do dishes without getting the cast wet, and the list goes on. You’re not alone), and a couple who birth 19 children and install an industrial dishwasher in their house but still choose to have all 21 people eating 3 meals a day off disposable plates. With snacks and the entertaining they seem to do, they go through more in an average DAY than you go through in a month.  
 

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time right now and hope you can take a moment to remember that for (almost) everything people snark about here, there’s a reason it exists in the first place and just because someone says something negative in one context doesn’t mean any association with that thing is bad. Disposable dishware is a luxury we are lucky to have when we need it, religion comforts many people in times of need and can be a wonderful source of community, homeschooling can be a gift for kids who struggle to have their needs met in a traditional classroom, etc.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow ❤️

I never minded the paper plates because it meant there was slightly less work foisted on parentalized teenage girls. Good for them making it slightly easier for themselves where they could.