Josh and Anna 56: AMA and Stuck in Duggarville?

[Cam]

21 hours ago, waltraute said:

Man oh man oh man, I would like to be privy to JB and Michelle's discussion on this one. We know that JB knows and I'm pretty sure Michelle knows too - meaning that their son is 100% guilty of the crime for which he's been sent to prison. So now, do they have honest conversations with each other about this or does JB continue the charade in private and Michelle pretend to agree? 

It's none of my business for sure, but I am curious. How do they talk to each other about Josh's original crime and now about his loss of good time credit? That they blame Satan is a given, even if they admit Josh is guilty, but I would really like to know how they are talking to each other about this.

Imo, I don’t think they spend much time discussing Josh with each other. Michelle probably only makes very spacey, vague, non-comittal comments. JB probably just shakes his head. He may talk a little bit to Anna about Josh but that’s it.  JB and Michelle no doubt include him in their spoken-out-loud prayers but again, it will only be in broad terms like, “dear lord Jesus father god of all creation, continue to watch over Josh and protect him from all harm.” Then, out of sight, out of mind. They are busy with other stuff. 

[Antipatriarch]

On 3/16/2023 at 10:05 AM, Coconut Flan said:

I got my answer that he thought he was above the rules.  It fits with having his parents excuse his behavior

...not to mention JB puffing out his chest with the judge and how dare he. #entitlement

[finnlassie]

I keep on wondering if the likelihood of Anna leaving Duggardom increases or decreases as time moves on. What kind of conversations does she have with her side of the family? What's their stance/feelings?

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

1 hour ago, finnlassie said:

I keep on wondering if the likelihood of Anna leaving Duggardom increases or decreases as time moves on. What kind of conversations does she have with her side of the family? What's their stance/feelings?

I have little doubt her parents and people like David Waller are constantly telling her it's her duty to stand by her man.

Harder to say with the rest of her siblings. Some probably tell her to get out; others may tell her to stick it out, at least for now. Ultimately though this is Anna's choice, and my guess is her journey will involve some short stages of small realizations.  Josh in the SHU for breaking rules. Losing his appeal.  Breaking whatever other rules he feels he doesn't need to follow. As the long years role on, his life will become further removed from the lives of Anna and the kids and they may have less and less to talk about. 

It's worth considering that her older kids may become closer confidants as they move into their later teens. Ultimately it may be Josh's own kids who convince her to move on.

[Cam]

Won’t Anna potentially become a grandma before Josh is out of prison due to her/their older kids likely to be getting hitched early and starting to produce kids? There are a myriad of ways that milestone could affect Anna. But I saw the most recent photo of her on Redditt and the woman is rocking her wedding ring to no end. She may be loving the “prisoner’s wife” role, embracing it for all its worth.

 

[patsymae]

On 3/17/2023 at 12:59 PM, Antipatriarch said:

...not to mention JB puffing out his chest with the judge and how dare he. #entitlement

and having their own float in a Christmas parade when all this was going on.

7 minutes ago, Cam said:

Won’t Anna potentially become a grandma before Josh is out of prison due to her/their older kids likely to be getting hitched early and starting to produce kids? There are a myriad of ways that milestone could affect Anna. But I saw the most recent photo of her on Redditt and the woman is rocking her wedding ring to no end. She may be loving the “prisoner’s wife” role, embracing it for all its worth.

 

This. I could totally see her getting into a prison wives' show, or even trying to start one with a Christian theme.

This may seem weird, and I know TFDW is overall just an awful person, but I don't think there's a lot of love lost between him and Smuggar, I think he cares for Priscilla and probably for Anna's kids because of that, and I can actually imagine him giving her some advice to step back a bit and think about her kids and what staying on this path for 12 years will do to them. Or I could just be delusional.

[Jrodseyeliner]

I am still so curious as to who is paying for groceries every week? Who is paying the bills and for fuel to put in her car. Does she get an allowance or does she have to ask JB  every week. 
How does she afford to yo down to Texas to see Smuggar? 
 

 

[Idlewild]

My guess is that JB pays commissary for both Josh and Anna. Nobody wants to see the children suffer, and JB must know that if he neglected either of them they could threaten an expose far more damaging than Jinger’s book.

[imokit]

I have no doubt Anna is in indentured servitude and  working for JB and M.  They have lots of things to keep her busy, cleaning their house (fewer J slaves available), doing errands, doing admin, managing their dodgy dealings.  Lots of things they could have her doing unpaid in exchange for a roof over her head and food and clothes for her and her children.

They will be rubbing in their "generosity" in her face in exchange for favours.  She'll be spending more time doing them favours then she would a full time job. The money they spend on her and the Ms will be less than the money Anna would earn if she were paid by the hour for how much she does for them.  (Though if you added in the money spent on Josh's legal fees, the balance would change).

[SassyPants]

IMO, JB is the type who would not be above securing government services (health and welfare) for Anna and the kids. Why would he use his own money when there’s other people to do the funding? He has zero shame. And actually, I think Anna should have secured any all services herself. I would gladly support her using every available resource to better her circumstances, especially if she used those services to move toward an independent life. Spoiler, she won’t.

[Gobsmacked]

On 3/16/2023 at 2:00 PM, Knight of Ni said:

I am also having this issue.

Me too. 

[gustava]

31 minutes ago, imokit said:

The money they spend on her and the Ms will be less than the money Anna would earn if she were paid by the hour for how much she does for them. 

Not sure I agree.  She could get only a minimum wage job, and maybe only 29 hours/week, so no benefits.  Rent, food, clothes would take far more than minimum wage, even if she got food stamps and housing assistance.  I think she's got it pretty good with JB.

[Coconut Flan]

Childcare!  Who is going to tend her brood while she works a low paid job?  I'm not sure how much work JB expects her to actually do.  With all those children in tow, his expectations are probably part-time level if that.  

[SassyPants]

Maybe she is qualified for some sort of work from position? Not really sure of her skill set. An in home day care? 

[Alisamer]

3 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Maybe she is qualified for some sort of work from position? Not really sure of her skill set. An in home day care? 

Day cares have limits to how many children of each age can be there per adult. She's got to be close to the limit already! I don't think she could keep enough kids to make it profitable in any way..

I think right now, she's doing OK. JimBob is keeping her kids fed and housed and she's likely no worse off than before Josh went to prison. And they are all probably still convinced that somehow everything will work out and an appeal or something will happen. Or the rapture will come and they'll all get taken up to heaven and it'll be great. 

I really think the actual test will come when it's getting close to his release date. He'll have been in prison living the same life all this time, while she'll have likely married off a kid or two, have no very young children, and have a totally different life than when he left. 

[SassyPants]

24 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Day cares have limits to how many children of each age can be there per adult. She's got to be close to the limit already! I don't think she could keep enough kids to make it profitable in any way..

I think right now, she's doing OK. JimBob is keeping her kids fed and housed and she's likely no worse off than before Josh went to prison. And they are all probably still convinced that somehow everything will work out and an appeal or something will happen. Or the rapture will come and they'll all get taken up to heaven and it'll be great. 

I really think the actual test will come when it's getting close to his release date. He'll have been in prison living the same life all this time, while she'll have likely married off a kid or two, have no very young children, and have a totally different life than when he left. 

Along with that, public school for the oldest 5 children. Boom, problem solved. Unusual circumstances, your father being incarcerated as an example, require adults to adapt and make decisions that they might otherwise not choose. I think over time, different and perhaps difficult decisions will be made.

[Coconut Flan]

Public school would be nice except not all of Anna's kids are old enough and the public school hours rarely match job hours unless one is working at that school.

Edited March 20, 2023 by Coconut Flan

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

2 hours ago, gustava said:

Not sure I agree.  She could get only a minimum wage job, and maybe only 29 hours/week, so no benefits.  Rent, food, clothes would take far more than minimum wage, even if she got food stamps and housing assistance.  I think she's got it pretty good with JB.

We all need to start somewhere. 

If she weren't living in such a cult-y environment, she could take advantage of her in-laws' help (and the fact that they have several teen girls around with time on their hands to help with child care) and go back to school to prepare for a career in something that would be far more fulfilling than catering to the needs of Josh Duggar.

But to quote JB in another setting "I'm not going to allow for that!"  

Josh is never going to support his family and dependence on the Duggars for the next decade plus seems like a dicey proposition at best. Even before Josh landed in prison, she was not living in good circumstances. JB is a total asshole and I can't imagine how it feels to put your family's survival in the hands of someone like him. "I don't like Michael's attitude, Anna. Straighten him out or else!"  Even hollow threats can be terrifying when you're so dependent on someone else. 

I think she's better off looking for (hopefully temporary) help elsewhere.  Does she have a good relationship with the sister who married into money?

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

Public school would be nice except not all of Anna's kids are old enough and the public school hours rarely match job hours unless one is working at that school.

Or working from home. Are there no school buses in AR? The youngest kids could be part of the pre school. Didn’t Anna have some rudimentary education background? 

[JDuggs]

I think Anna wants to be a stay at home, homeschooling mother, and I’m guessing that’s what JB wants too. I know that JB is cheap, but he knows he has to pay up so Josh’s family isn’t destitute. If JB is providing shelter and $ for food, clothing, other necessities and some travel, what else does Anna need? I don’t think she expects an extravagant lifestyle, just comfortable. JB can’t blame Anna for sticking to the brand.

[Sweetpickle]

On 3/17/2023 at 12:35 AM, marmalade said:

Interestingly, it only works for me as intended in the Rod's thread. Nowhere else. 😥

Only thing working as intended in that family then😁

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

31 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

I think Anna wants to be a stay at home, homeschooling mother, and I’m guessing that’s what JB wants too. I know that JB is cheap, but he knows he has to pay up so Josh’s family isn’t destitute. If JB is providing shelter and $ for food, clothing, other necessities and some travel, what else does Anna need? I don’t think she expects an extravagant lifestyle, just comfortable. JB can’t blame Anna for sticking to the brand.

To the contrary, he fully expects her to stick to it. But he must be pushing 60 now and not everyone is guaranteed to live to an old age. Both of his parents died in their 70s. JB and Michelle also have an extraordinary number of children and grandchildren. Anything they leave behind will be quickly wiped out in the next generation.

Josh isn't going to support her. He may well not even return to her. It's fine to want to be a stay at home mother, but most mothers need a financially stable husband to even think about that. She's a single mother for all intents and purposes and it's time for her to open her eyes, cult or no cult.  Thirty five is a fine age to start a new life, but things start getting harder by the time one hits their 40s and 50's.  

 

[JDuggs]

This is probably a reason JB wanted to control the purse strings and not hand out his children’s cuts as they were earned. JB was smart enough to somewhat plan for a contingency like Josh who has eaten up a portion of the family’s estate in legal fees and now supporting Anna and the M’s. JB will be turning 58 this year and Josh will possibly be out in 9.5 years. If I was Anna (ugh) who seems to fully support Josh, I would take my chances that JB will follow through with the money at least until Josh is released. She has young kids without a father present so she would want things to stay as normal and consistent as possible which would rule out putting the kids in school and daycare and finding a job that would be worth it. If JB doesn’t come through, she could write a tell all, unless she’s already signed away that possibility.

The Duggars aren’t flashy with their money. The Gen 2s all live modestly, except for their traveling. It seems apparent to me that there’s enough money for all of them if they don’t get too crazy with nice things.

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

2 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

The Duggars aren’t flashy with their money. The Gen 2s all live modestly, except for their traveling. It seems apparent to me that there’s enough money for all of them if they don’t get too crazy with nice things.

There are about 50 kids and grandkids with more grandkids being added every year and this will accelerate for another 25 or so years with the youngest daughter only about 13 now. No way will there be multi-generational wealth here, no matter how much JB has now. 

I get that Anna is still in denial but as soon as she realizes she no longer has a husband I hope for the sake of the kids she grasps that she is ultimately responsible for their well-being and starts taking steps to protect her future as well as theirs. 

 

[SassyPants]

4 minutes ago, Anne Of Gray Gables said:

There are about 50 kids and grandkids with more grandkids being added every year and this will accelerate for another 25 or so years with the youngest daughter only about 13 now. No way will there be multi-generational wealth here, no matter how much JB has now. 

I get that Anna is still in denial but as soon as she realizes she no longer has a husband I hope for the sake of the kids she grasps that she is ultimately responsible for their well-being and starts taking steps to protect her future as well as theirs. 

 

I’ve known families with generational wealth and there were always a handful of people in every generation that were very money smart, hardworking, educated and forward thinking. Of course, the balance were generally rather average…same thing was present where the smart ones in charge  dole out money for small businesses that the balance at least in name and for tax purposes, own. Unfortunately, in the Duggar group there is no smart, educated, forward thinking, hardworking crew. JB eff’d up when he denied and mocked education.