Seriously Steve 4: Judging and Hating

[Pammy]

How horribly judgmental Steve is!

How, exactly is the fact that the baby is spending *one day* being shushed by a screen while in a *workplace* during a highly unusual response to a flooding event -- how is it anything like the same thing as a lifelong screen addiction? That's insane.

If Steve thinks working mothers shouldn't exist (and therefore that there won't be occasional childcare emergencies) he should take his business (and his judgey attitude) elsewhere!

Also, there's a difference between enjoying a hobby (and perhaps over-enjoying it with some of the genuine down sides of excessive screens) and "living for" video games unto the destruction of one's faith. What a fake catastrophe Steve makes of everything.

[SPHASH]

Steve thinks all your free time should be spent reading the Bible, going to anti abortion rallies, or worshipping in church.  God created hobbies for a reason, to help you unwind.  I enjoy camping and spend a lot of summer weekends doing that.  I am in God's creation, getting fresh air and exercise.  And if the weather is bad I will stay in the camper and watch a movie.  I also enjoy Numismatics.  When I complete a full coin set I get a huge sense of satisfaction plus I am learning something as Numismatics is educational.  Steve leads a sad life reminds me of my dead aunt only joy she had was taking care of her family.  Like Steve she had no friends, no hobbies except for camping which was more her husband's thing, and didn't care about learning.

Edited May 3, 2023 by SPHASH
ETA

[Hane]

Steve reminds me of a short story I once read, titled “A Golden Opportunity.” It’s about a woman who is about to celebrate her fiftieth wedding anniversary.

It’s clear from the beginning of the story that she’s absolutely miserable in her marriage. Her husband is a negative curmudgeon who complains about everyone and everything. She has grown children who love her and work with her in their family business, but her husband is pissed off that he’s been encouraged to retire from it (as he wasn’t an asset to it).

She has minimal contact with her grandchildren, because “Grandpa doesn’t like noise” and “Grandpa doesn’t like a mess.”

One day, as the two of them are eating dinner at home, he starts choking on his roast beef. Her first impulse is to come to his assistance, but she…doesn’t. She goes into the kitchen to get herself a glass of water as he chokes to death.

The story ends with family and friends gathered at his funeral instead of the golden anniversary celebration, relieved at how well she’s taking her sudden bereavement.

Edited May 3, 2023 by Hane

[Mrs Ms]

For years we had no TV and used a small laptop for very occasional screen time at home. The only time my kids ever got to watch anything on a phone screen was out in public for extreme circumstances. It worked so well because it was so novel. Like the time my then 3yo wanted his first haircut at the hairdressers like his big brother and started getting quite upset half way through. No clue what my brother showed him (I just said animals or cars) but he was perfectly calm for the rest of the cut. 
 

Lately, every time I read one of these recaps (thanks @Bluebirdbluebell!) it seems that Steve thinks his own faith is very tenuous and is terrified he will loose it if he does the tiniest thing that doesn’t 100% edify Jesus or is even a smidge fun. Why did he have to fall for the version of Christianity that insists on breeding like rabbits instead of becoming a reclusive monk? 

[johnhugh]

The email was worth it just for:

Quote

 It took several years to get the beast out again.

And to hear him call television the BEAST like in the old days of the blog.

Edited May 4, 2023 by johnhugh
My thumbs hit send.

[GreenBeans]

16 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

While 6 months is young for screen time, it's none of your business, Steve. Also growing up with screens make them less interesting. He probably will continue to watch media, but not necessarily be addicted by it.

I’m not a fan of screen time for little kids, and while it’s not possible to keep a kid away from them entirely, we do try as much as possible and for as long as it works. Not for religious reasons, we just feel our son still has a whole life of screen time ahead, and it’s more beneficial for him to experience the world around him directly rather than through a screen.

BUT - Steve’s story wasn’t about a child routinely put in front of a tv or phone screen. It was about an emergency situation. The babysitter canceled on short notice due to flooding, what was the mom supposed to do with her kid? 

[Black Aliss]

14 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

I’m not a fan of screen time for little kids, and while it’s not possible to keep a kid away from them entirely, we do try as much as possible and for as long as it works. Not for religious reasons, we just feel our son still has a whole life of screen time ahead, and it’s more beneficial for him to experience the world around him directly rather than through a screen.

BUT - Steve’s story wasn’t about a child routinely put in front of a tv or phone screen. It was about an emergency situation. The babysitter canceled on short notice due to flooding, what was the mom supposed to do with her kid? 

And if Teri hadn't been so depressed and/or expected to keep up with all of her chores, she might have spent plague-time reading allowed to the kids, playing board games or <gasp> cards, doing crafts. Little known fact: you can read aloud the entire Little House series in about the time it takes to recover from chicken pox.

[feministxtian]

Who does Stevehovah think he is, making up an entire page of bullshit over an out of the ordinary occurrence? This dickhead got nerves. I am the queen of screen...that is, I always have something on my computer or phone (depending on where I am). Am I watching it? Probably not, I just like the background noise. 

I don't remember how much screen time my kids had back in the day, but I'm fairly sure I had the TV on at times to keep them occupied, well, the boys...daughter would read incessantly. 

Still, what business is it of his as to what another family does? 

[Alisamer]

On 4/6/2023 at 7:01 AM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

He believes God to be angry and cruel or cold and cruel. Steve, when you meet God, may you be touched by His love and kindness.

I hope Steve meets exactly the God he believes in. 

I hope everyone goes where they expect to when they die, and Steve will go in front of the hateful, cruel, capricious, cold, contradictory trickster God he believes in, to face his judgement. Who will then berate him for his miserable horrible parenting and yeet him straight into hell, most likely, because Steve's theology doesn't allow anyone to succeed at being "holy", because the slightest hint of contentment or happiness or satisfaction is sinful, in Steve's world. But making money off of selling bad theology isn't, somehow.

22 hours ago, Mrs Ms said:

Lately, every time I read one of these recaps (thanks @Bluebirdbluebell!) it seems that Steve thinks his own faith is very tenuous and is terrified he will loose it if he does the tiniest thing that doesn’t 100% edify Jesus or is even a smidge fun. Why did he have to fall for the version of Christianity that insists on breeding like rabbits instead of becoming a reclusive monk? 

Yep, this. I think many fundies live their lives in abject terror of hell. Steve is so terrified that he forced his entire family to spend years essentially atoning for sins that they never committed, to get credit for their godliness to make up for his own sins. Occasionally former fundies will talk about this, about answering altar call after altar call in case they weren't REALLY saved. Understandable, with how many contradictions and convoluted ancient customs there are in the Bible, and the way their religious leaders pick and choose which rules to follow. Steve believes God is scary and judgemental and condescending (like himself) and is afraid if he doesn't follow every confusing rule exactly to the letter he'll be cast into hell. 

[feministxtian]

28 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Yep, this. I think many fundies live their lives in abject terror of hell.

Their whole religion is based in fear. The fear of "displeasing" the capricious, evil god they worship. To them, God is sitting on a cloud somewhere just waiting to send them to hell. What a shitty way to go thru life. I prefer the God who made kittens, rainbows, beautiful sunsets and is ready and willing and able to enjoy his creations, even if we ain't "perfect". I personally think God had a little too much tequila the day he decided the world needed a me. I mean, I've met me...and well...

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m definitely not anti screen time. Especially since I had young kids during a pandemic making you stay home for weeks on end with horrible weather outside and playgrounds all closed. What the fuck were people supposed to do? My husband makes a living staring at a screen all day. Most people use screens on a daily basis. My kids use screens all the time and I’m fine with it. They are part of our world in 2023 and there’s no going back. We just teach learning when to put the screen away. Like everything else it’s self regulation. 

[anjulibai]

Steve seems to be under the impression that only males like video games. 

But then again all his parenting "advice" is around raising boys, never girls, so I suppose that's not suprising. 

[theologygeek]

Steve has no business criticizing other people's parenting choices.  First of all, his wife made Sarah do everything while he worked and Teri stayed in bed.  I am not criticizing that at all because depression is real.  I am simply saying that he of all people should know that parents do what they have to do when they have to work and the other parent is not able to take care of the children.  

Second, not only did my kids have tv's in their rooms and video game systems, I also put all my babies in front of the tv every day to watch Sesame Street.  It made them smart.  I taught them all to read at four years old.  They played outside while growing up, did sports and activities, and were well rounded.  Being extreme is bad.  Everything in moderation is fine.  Today they are grown with good jobs, and are productive members of society.  One of them doesn't even like tv.  The others aren't much for it either but like Netflix series and movies.  

The way he preaches, you would think his kids turned out all that and then some.  And they didn't.  One seems so lost and he just kind of latches onto his siblings to get work.  They're always trying to start new businesses.  The only stable one seems to be Joseph.  The two girls were the only ones in that family to realize that they had to take matters into their own hands if they wanted to further themselves.  He has no room to talk.  

[Howl]

15 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Steve believes God is scary and judgemental and condescending (like himself) and is afraid if he doesn't follow every confusing rule exactly to the letter he'll be cast into hell. 

and 

15 hours ago, feministxtian said:

To them, God is sitting on a cloud somewhere just waiting to send them to hell. What a shitty way to go thru life.

I read a bit of exEvangelical twitter.  In the deconstruction process, so many people talk about growing up living with paralyzing fear of not pleasing god and going to hell because they aren't doing things just right.  Also SHAME. SO. MUCH. SHAME. Coupled with spanking, it can be a toxic stew.  

Just recalled this.  I was part of a Buddhist meditation group when I lived in Colorado.  A woman was caught in a fearful "what if..." moment:  "I enjoy meditation and Buddhist practice, but "what if...there really is a God who will punish me for leaving Christianity?"

[Alisamer]

18 hours ago, anjulibai said:

But then again all his parenting "advice" is around raising boys, never girls, so I suppose that's not suprising. 

He didn't raise the girls, he apparently expected them to stay little children under his roof forever. 

4 hours ago, Howl said:

Just recalled this.  I was part of a Buddhist meditation group when I lived in Colorado.  A woman was caught in a fearful "what if..." moment:  "I enjoy meditation and Buddhist practice, but "what if...there really is a God who will punish me for leaving Christianity?"

I get that occasionally because the more I think and read and learn the less I think I believe the way most churches require. I lean toward a more pagan sort of path, personally, but also was raised Baptist and occasionally attend church, so it's strange. But the more I read and look critically and think, the more I think that if God is a loving father creator, who is omnipotent, he wouldn't make up weird rules and find reasons to punish his children, not even those who don't believe in him. A loving God wouldn't send someone into eternal torment after choosing to have that person born into a non-Christian society. A loving God wouldn't give people the ability to think critically and then punish them for doing so. And if God is the way Steve thinks he is, and heaven is meant to be spent eternally singing God's praises, well. I'll take whatever happens when I die, I guess. Because it sounds like heaven and hell might not be all that different if Steve is the sort of person getting rewarded there. 

[SassyPants]

9 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

He didn't raise the girls, he apparently expected them to stay little children under his roof forever. 

I get that occasionally because the more I think and read and learn the less I think I believe the way most churches require. I lean toward a more pagan sort of path, personally, but also was raised Baptist and occasionally attend church, so it's strange. But the more I read and look critically and think, the more I think that if God is a loving father creator, who is omnipotent, he wouldn't make up weird rules and find reasons to punish his children, not even those who don't believe in him. A loving God wouldn't send someone into eternal torment after choosing to have that person born into a non-Christian society. A loving God wouldn't give people the ability to think critically and then punish them for doing so. And if God is the way Steve thinks he is, and heaven is meant to be spent eternally singing God's praises, well. I'll take whatever happens when I die, I guess. Because it sounds like heaven and hell might not be all that different if Steve is the sort of person getting rewarded there. 

Totally agree. I am a Christian universalist. I do not believe in eternal hell because if there are people who languish in hell forever than either 1) God is not all knowing and powerful or 2) God is not a loving God. Why would he knowingly send anyone he loves into hell forever??? Why wouldn’t he give every sinner that ah-ha moment? I cant believe that God is perverse, and if I did, I certainly would not follow that God’s path.

[Black Aliss]

4 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Because it sounds like heaven and hell might not be all that different if Steve is the sort of person getting rewarded there.

I've long said that heaven and hell are the same place. Because people tell me I'm going to hell and my idea of hell is an eternity spent with all the people who know they are going to heaven.

[SPHASH]

Gee what crawled up Steve's ass and died:

The Worst Words

Imagine the end-times judgement of those who were not followers of Jesus Christ. We aren’t given many specifics, but what if the redeemed are able to observe the judgement of those who never came to Christ? If so, can you imagine with me one of your neighbors is summoned and stands before the Lord. The Lord, the Judge of all the earth is told that your neighbor’s name is not in the Book of Life. Your neighbor then hears those terrible words, “… I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity” (Matthew 7:23a). Your neighbor is horrified and realizes his fate is eternal hell. If only he had been told earlier.

Then he turns toward you and points a shaking finger and SCREAMS, “YOU HYPOCRITE! YOU KNEW I WASN’T A FOLLOWER OF JESUS, AND YOU DIDN’T DO EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY COULD TO HELP ME COME TO HIM?”

“And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire” (Revelation 20:15).

Brothers, how serious are you in sharing Christ with those you know, neighbors, and extended family? Might the worst hypocrite be the one who is saved and does not love his “neighbor” by telling him about salvation by the blood of Jesus?

Steve Maxwell

 

 

 

[hoipolloi]

Maybe Steve shouldn't be so sure about who will actually be standing in judgement before the Lord.

This guy is a sad excuse for a human being. 

[Alisamer]

2 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Gee what crawled up Steve's ass and died:

The Worst Words

Imagine the end-times judgement of those who were not followers of Jesus Christ. We aren’t given many specifics, but what if the redeemed are able to observe the judgement of those who never came to Christ? If so, can you imagine with me one of your neighbors is summoned and stands before the Lord. The Lord, the Judge of all the earth is told that your neighbor’s name is not in the Book of Life. Your neighbor then hears those terrible words, “… I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity” (Matthew 7:23a). Your neighbor is horrified and realizes his fate is eternal hell. If only he had been told earlier.

Then he turns toward you and points a shaking finger and SCREAMS, “YOU HYPOCRITE! YOU KNEW I WASN’T A FOLLOWER OF JESUS, AND YOU DIDN’T DO EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY COULD TO HELP ME COME TO HIM?”

“And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire” (Revelation 20:15).

Brothers, how serious are you in sharing Christ with those you know, neighbors, and extended family? Might the worst hypocrite be the one who is saved and does not love his “neighbor” by telling him about salvation by the blood of Jesus?

Steve Maxwell

The "extended family" bit might be a clue, considering they seem to consider their married-off children living outside their home to be "extended family". It could be as simple as doctrinal differences with one of the kids' churches that has got him foaming at the mouth. We certainly know Sarah's church flouts most of Steve's edicts, and Anna and Mary aren't dressing according to his decree anymore at their college. He probably lives in a permanent state of pissiness.

[Howl]

On 5/4/2023 at 2:24 PM, Alisamer said:

I think many fundies live their lives in abject terror of hell.

Many people deconstructing from fundamentalism discuss a childhood lived in terror of displeasing god and going to hell, when they weren't living in  paralyzing shame for a) having normal lusty thoughts or b) not being modest enough and "causing" males to have normal lusty thoughts. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

40 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

Maybe Steve shouldn't be so sure about who will actually be standing in judgement before the Lord.

This guy is a sad excuse for a human being. 

But it's not Steve's fault entirely. Too many churches teach this exact thing. They tell their believers that anyone who isn't a believer will go to hell. It's a form of discrimination, but it's doctrine for a lot of churches and a lot of believers. 

It's also not just fundie churches. A lot of "mainstream" Christian sects and believers believe this.

[hoipolloi]

1 hour ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Too many churches teach this exact thing. They tell their believers that anyone who isn't a believer will go to hell.

I agree but as someone once said, "When these folks get to heaven or hell, they are going to be mighty surprised at who else is there with them."

 

Edited May 10, 2023 by hoipolloi
typo

[Bluebirdbluebell]

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

The "extended family" bit might be a clue, considering they seem to consider their married-off children living outside their home to be "extended family". It could be as simple as doctrinal differences with one of the kids' churches that has got him foaming at the mouth. We certainly know Sarah's church flouts most of Steve's edicts, and Anna and Mary aren't dressing according to his decree anymore at their college. He probably lives in a permanent state of pissiness.

Anna and Mary are doing the work though. This is exactly why they studying to be missionaries so they can spread the "Good News" to the "unsaved". This theology is exactly why they are in college. It's why Teri is serving on the mission board at her church.  It also seems to be what Mary's in-laws believe. 

Steve might not be happy about them going to college, but it is consistent with his theology that they work hard to spread the gospel. I might consider missionaries "God botherers" and not hold them in high regard, but for Steve this is what they should be doing. And they will save a lot more people this way than if they were still at home dusting the fans.

(They also aren't married yet so they don't count as extended family.)

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

It's also not just fundie churches. A lot of "mainstream" Christian sects and believers believe this.

  Is this true? Mainstream Christians believe a devout Buddhist who devoted their life to helping others and approached everyone with empathy and love would be sent to hell?  Not just sixty years ago,  but now? Haven’t the ones who still believe that quit their mainstream churches in disgust and migrated over to the fundamentalist ones?  
   Maybe the blue bubble I live in has caused me to miss a sad truth here. Maybe I shouldn’t be considering this one of the defining tenets of twenty-first century Christian fundamentalism. 

Edited May 10, 2023 by Bastet