Harry & Meghan 8: Time's Most Insufferable

[Coconut Flan]

Self-inflicted wounds that are unrecognized as such don't heal easily.

[DalmatianCat]

2 hours ago, EmCatlyn said:

Just another report about how Harry will have to remain in self-exile until he is offered royal protection.

It will be interesting when a reporter finally does some research and reveals that everything is not as Harry and Meghan say. Are legit reporters actually afraid of getting sued by them? Or just don’t think they’re worth their time? Surely somewhere an investigative journalist is checking all the receipts, reading all the emails, double-checking the memos, etc. and working on an amazing piece.

For all their complaining about the media, I think they get a ton of fawning and sympathetic coverage. 

Edited February 1, 2022 by DalmatianCat
Typo

[just_ordinary]

3 hours ago, DalmatianCat said:

It will be interesting when a reporter finally does some research and reveals that everything is not as Harry and Meghan say. Are legit reporters actually afraid of getting sued by them? Or just don’t think they’re worth their time? Surely somewhere an investigative journalist is checking all the receipts, reading all the emails, double-checking the memos, etc. and working on an amazing piece.

For all their complaining about the media, I think they get a ton of fawning and sympathetic coverage. 

The thing is- a good investigative journalist will put their effort into actually important topics. Not some C - class celebrity drama. They are definitely not worth their time. And for tabloids/magazines that report on celebrities, the vague/misleading/dramatic angle is much more lucrative.

In the end, I think every time they come up with claims like that, more and more people with working brain cells will realise that they are just pathetic and turn away. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

8 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

The thing is- a good investigative journalist will put their effort into actually important topics.

Agreed.  I can see someone digging into Andrew's criminal behavior to get to the truth as that's actually news and there are victims involved.  With H and M their only victims are themselves and as @Coconut Flan said their pain is self-inflicted.  

I was once willing to give them the benefit of the doubt on a lot of things, but at this point it's just silly.  If he truly has legitimate panic and fear that travelling to the UK with private security so his kids can spend some time with their family who are amongst the most protected people in the world then he needs an intervention because that's not grounded in reality.  If he's just using the kids as pawns to force the hand of ...whomever he thinks is in charge of denying him security....then that's just plain old emotional blackmail and he should be ashamed of himself.

 

[louisa05]

9 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

The thing is- a good investigative journalist will put their effort into actually important topics. Not some C - class celebrity drama. They are definitely not worth their time. And for tabloids/magazines that report on celebrities, the vague/misleading/dramatic angle is much more lucrative.

In the end, I think every time they come up with claims like that, more and more people with working brain cells will realise that they are just pathetic and turn away. 

In the UK, though, some of it involves public funds; so there is that. 

[DalmatianCat]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

 If he's just using the kids as pawns to force the hand of ...whomever he thinks is in charge of denying him security....then that's just plain old emotional blackmail and he should be ashamed of himself.

 

Who does he think is in charge? This is a system he grew up in. How does he not know how this works? 
I think he’s trying to cook up a scheme where he can come back to the UK with some of his dignity intact (whatever that means to him).

[HerNameIsBuffy]

10 minutes ago, DalmatianCat said:

Who does he think is in charge? This is a system he grew up in. How does he not know how this works? 
I think he’s trying to cook up a scheme where he can come back to the UK with some of his dignity intact (whatever that means to him).

I was just going by some of the responses here saying he wants the BRF to greenlight met security when they don't have the greenlight to do so.  It read to me like he didn't understand who had the authority to approve this.  

When I was about 6 I packed some things in a scarf dead set on running away, including a few packets of kool-aid and some M&Ms to, as I explained to my mom, I was going to set up a kool-aid and M&M stand to earn money to live on my own.  I got all the way to the front porch where I waited for her to beg me to come back.  

She wasn't too worried since a business plan of unsweetened kool-aid without water or a pitcher and an opened bag of M&Ms wasn't destined to succeed.  Especially after I ate the candy waiting for her to plead for my return.  I finally said I was sorry and she welcomed me back in the house with a hug.  H and M seem to be playing out the same scenario on a slightly larger scale.

I agree, I think he's realized this was a huge mistake and is trying to find his way back for himself and his family, and making it worse in the process.  

[MamaJunebug]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

When I was about 6 I packed some things in a scarf dead set on running away, including a few packets of kool-aid and some M&Ms to, as I explained to my mom, I was going to set up a kool-aid and M&M stand to earn money to live on my own.  I got all the way to the front porch where I waited for her to beg me to come back.  

I don’t want to start a topic drift, but I did something similar and wrote a note which I handed dramatically to my mom.  She saved it. Greatest mom ever!!  
 

I keep flashing back to Diana & the boys at the amusement park. Harry must’ve been 4. The park VIPs ushered them through underground tunnels so they had absolutely no wait for any ride.  Harry grew up so privileged and yet so bereft, especially after his mom died, of the guidance & care he needed.  He & Meghan have multiple millions of £?  That’s the only thing I’d want that they have.  What a mess. JMHO, obviously.  

Edited February 1, 2022 by MamaJunebug

[MomJeans]

I know I have said this before, but I really don't think Harry has even a basic understanding of what the Queen has true power over, and how delicate the relationship is between the Queen and the Government, and its continued support by UK citizens.   Especially after the mess of the 90's War of the Windsors, and the recent referendums (Scottish Independence & Brexit).

And I'm not saying that Harry is stupid.  

I think Harry doesn't care to inform himself.  He prefers to view the monarchy the way he does, because he wants the privileges and rights that were once automatically attached to simply being royal.   

Don't get me wrong, being a modern royal still comes with loads of privileges and rights.  But deep down, Harry wants the old system.   

[DalmatianCat]

1 hour ago, MamaJunebug said:

I keep flashing back to Diana & the boys at the amusement park. Harry must’ve been 4. The park VIPs ushered them through underground tunnels so they had absolutely no wait for any ride.  Harry grew up so privileged and yet so bereft, especially after his mom died, of the guidance & care he needed. 

The narrative that Harry grew up bereft just because his mother died always bothers me a bit. I’ve worked with lots of troubled teens who had much more tragic things happen to them their parent dying in a car crash when they were 12. They had nothing close to the support system Harry had when his mother passed away and several of them grew up to be responsible adults. Not all of them were able to, and it’s understandable…trauma at a young age is hard to overcome and the system is not fair to disadvantaged kids and even with the best teachers, coaches, and social workers some of them struggle the rest of their lives. That’s tragic.
I think it’s horrible that Diana died young and Harry had to grow up without her being some kind of presence in his life. But how much of a hands-on, guiding force was she actually in his life at the point she passed away? He was away at boarding school during the school year and had split custody between his parents during holidays. Harry still had access to the best education, counselors, and therapy money could buy, people to cover up all his wayward mistakes, and a family job ready for him when he left the army. As cold as they come across in public, I do think Charles, the Queen, and Philip did the best they could to help the boys and weren’t leaving them without guidance. It was years ago, but I remember tabloid headlines in the late 90s, early 00s of how Charles was trying to get Harry the help he needed.
Harry was not thrown into an overworked foster system, forced out on his own at 18, and then struggling to pay for higher education while he tried to support himself in his 20s. He did suffer the trauma of losing a parent young, but compared to the vast majority of people around the world who lose their parents at young ages, he had a mountain of resources to give him a safety net.

The fact that Harry is starting to seem desperate to go back to England makes me think that his life was really much better than he made it out to be the last couple years. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

8 minutes ago, DalmatianCat said:

The narrative that Harry grew up bereft just because his mother died always bothers me a bit. I’ve worked with lots of troubled teens who had much more tragic things happen to them their parent dying in a car crash when they were 12. They had nothing close to the support system Harry had when his mother passed away and several of them grew up to be responsible adults. Not all of them were able to, and it’s understandable…trauma at a young age is hard to overcome and the system is not fair to disadvantaged kids and even with the best teachers, coaches, and social workers some of them struggle the rest of their lives. That’s tragic.
I think it’s horrible that Diana died young and Harry had to grow up without her being some kind of presence in his life. But how much of a hands-on, guiding force was she actually in his life at the point she passed away? He was away at boarding school during the school year and had split custody between his parents during holidays. Harry still had access to the best education, counselors, and therapy money could buy, people to cover up all his wayward mistakes, and a family job ready for him when he left the army. As cold as they come across in public, I do think Charles, the Queen, and Philip did the best they could to help the boys and weren’t leaving them without guidance. It was years ago, but I remember tabloid headlines in the late 90s, early 00s of how Charles was trying to get Harry the help he needed.
Harry was not thrown into an overworked foster system, forced out on his own at 18, and then struggling to pay for higher education while he tried to support himself in his 20s. He did suffer the trauma of losing a parent young, but compared to the vast majority of people around the world who lose their parents at young ages, he had a mountain of resources to give him a safety net.

The fact that Harry is starting to seem desperate to go back to England makes me think that his life was really much better than he made it out to be the last couple years. 

I don't think anyone is arguing that other people have undergone far more horrific things, but there is no trauma Olympics.  How we respond to trauma has to do with our psychological makeup as much as any external factor.  No one could argue he didn't have a great deal of financial and educational resources well beyond others, but it doesn't mean he got what he needed emotionally or that there aren't scars.

My late mom used to say just because someone else has a brain tumor doesn't mean your migraine doesn't hurt, it's okay to acknowledge your own pain even if others have it worse.  

[DalmatianCat]

6 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I don't think anyone is arguing that other people have undergone far more horrific things, but there is no trauma Olympics.  How we respond to trauma has to do with our psychological makeup as much as any external factor.  No one could argue he didn't have a great deal of financial and educational resources well beyond others, but it doesn't mean he got what he needed emotionally or that there aren't scars.

My late mom used to say just because someone else has a brain tumor doesn't mean your migraine doesn't hurt, it's okay to acknowledge your own pain even if others have it worse.  

Yes, trauma isn’t a contest, but it gets tiresome when it’s used to explain all of Harry’s behavior. For all we know he could have grown up just as privileged and entitled had she lived. We just don’t know.

[rosamundi]

4 hours ago, DalmatianCat said:

Who does he think is in charge? This is a system he grew up in. How does he not know how this works? 

He didn't have to think about it while he was living in it, because it just ... happened. The bills were paid, he had a roof over his head, he never had to lift a finger to make sure there was food on the table and the cleaning was done and he turned up in the right place at the right time, appropriately briefed, with his security. It all just ... happened.

He spent his entire life swimming in privilege and thinks that everything he grew up with his by right as soon as he returns to the UK.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 minutes ago, DalmatianCat said:

Yes, trauma isn’t a contest, but it gets tiresome when it’s used to explain all of Harry’s behavior. For all we know he could have grown up just as privileged and entitled had she lived. We just don’t know.

He may well have, you're right we don't know.

I just know some people aren't as resilient as others so I try not to judge people on how they process grief or trauma since it's so individual.  

[EmCatlyn]

19 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I don't think anyone is arguing that other people have undergone far more horrific things, but there is no trauma Olympics.  How we respond to trauma has to do with our psychological makeup as much as any external factor.  No one could argue he didn't have a great deal of financial and educational resources well beyond others, but it doesn't mean he got what he needed emotionally or that there aren't scars.

My late mom used to say just because someone else has a brain tumor doesn't mean your migraine doesn't hurt, it's okay to acknowledge your own pain even if others have it worse.  

I was going to make much the same point.  Now that someone else has made it, I want to go off in one of two directions:

Direction 1: Although the trauma of Diana’s death was considerable, and no one should question his right to feel pain, I sometimes wonder about the different pain that Harry and William would have experienced if Diana had lived.  (I refer to ongoing scandals and rumors connected to her love life and friendships. Whom she ended up marrying might have been a problem also.) Of course, having a parent die is horrible, but if Diana had lived, the odds are there would have been different trauma.

Direction 2: “Trauma olympics” aside, if Harry truly wants to make a difference in the world, he needs to move beyond the pain of his childhood loses, or at least use that pain constructively.  He and Meghan seem way more focused on appearances than action.  I wonder if part of the problem is he feels an obligation to “contribute” to the world and yet has no real sense of how to make such a contribution.

In summary: I would never seriously compare one person’s pain, or response to pain, with another’s.  However, Harry does seem to be unrealistic, both about what his life should be and what his life would have been if Diana had lived.

 

[tabitha2]

Yes. But some people just relish playing  the eternal victim because of the attention they get.  It’s Easy to make excuses and blame others for the choices they make after all. 

[EmCatlyn]

More of the “Harry wants to connect with his family” narrative, this time via Cosmopolitan (which seems to have big fans of H&M writing about them).  Their original source appears to be the same US Weekly report quoted above, but the emphasis on the cousins is a bit of a difference.

Quote

Prince Harry has been unable to return to England due to safety concerns (he no longer has police protection, ugh), but he's eager to bring his family home—especially so his kids can meet their cousins.  …

“Harry and Meghan are doing everything they can to make the world a better place and feel it would be wrong to rob their children of the opportunity of getting to know their cousins,” the source explains. “It’s obviously difficult because of the distance factor, so Harry sweetly organized a special Zoom call with Prince William so that the cousins could get to see each other.”

Cosmopolitan

I want to note that the narrative is now that Harry wants to come home but can’t because of “safety concerns,” and that a simple thing like talking to his family on Zoom is framed within Harry’s wanting to make the world a better place for his kids. 🙄

(Gotta Snark: Back in the late 80s and 90s,, when I made a big effort to have my kids connect with their grandparents (who lived in different states) via telephone, I didn’t realize I was working to make the world a better place.  I guess you have to be a royal.)

[MomJeans]

I'm pretty sure the publisher behind Cosmopolitan has a very tight relationship with Sunshine Sachs, H&M's publicists.  

I'm blanking on what the connection is (sorry this is so vague) but I recall reading about it before H&M were clients. 

And that is what a publicist does- gets good press for their clients.  

[just_ordinary]

3 hours ago, MomJeans said:

I know I have said this before, but I really don't think Harry has even a basic understanding of what the Queen has true power over, and how delicate the relationship is between the Queen and the Government, and its continued support by UK citizens.   Especially after the mess of the 90's War of the Windsors, and the recent referendums (Scottish Independence & Brexit).

And I'm not saying that Harry is stupid.  

I think Harry doesn't care to inform himself.  He prefers to view the monarchy the way he does, because he wants the privileges and rights that were once automatically attached to simply being royal.   

Don't get me wrong, being a modern royal still comes with loads of privileges and rights.  But deep down, Harry wants the old system.   

I have to disagree slightly. Harry knows how the system works. If his cousins much further away from the centre of power and attention know, there is no chance he doesn’t. And I am not sure it was a matter of „caring to inform himself“. I think he, for whatever reason, thought things would be different for him and instead of dealing with the factual reality he just snapped at one point. Wiliam and Harry were quite on the same side for years. Hating the media, reluctant to find their place and be part of the game, trying to build a wall around their private life including spouse and children. William, with Kate battled through years of negative headlines. In the end, they found a balance with the tabloids. Fragile though because in the meantime they had build up Harry as the saviour of the Windsors. The Anti-William. The war hero without PA sleaziness. The page only truly turned for W&K after the initial positive hype about Meghan turned into the (to be expected) scrutiny. Now, they suddenly never put a foot wrong while H&M could do nothing right. It seems H took it personally and couldn’t deal with the lack of endorsement but constant criticism instead. It seems he lost touch with certain realities from there on. That’s why he cannot let go of privileges he is just not entitled to anymore- and might not even be if they stayed working royals. That’s why he can’t accept his privilege for what they are but feels extremely hard done by. I don’t think the royals feel less entitled but they have realised they need to appear in a certain way to have those privileges granted for decades to come.

43 minutes ago, EmCatlyn said:

I was going to make much the same point.  Now that someone else has made it, I want to go off in one of two directions:

Direction 1: Although the trauma of Diana’s death was considerable, and no one should question his right to feel pain, I sometimes wonder about the different pain that Harry and William would have experienced if Diana had lived.  (I refer to ongoing scandals and rumors connected to her love life and friendships. Whom she ended up marrying might have been a problem also.) Of course, having a parent die is horrible, but if Diana had lived, the odds are there would have been different trauma.

Direction 2: “Trauma olympics” aside, if Harry truly wants to make a difference in the world, he needs to move beyond the pain of his childhood loses, or at least use that pain constructively.  He and Meghan seem way more focused on appearances than action.  I wonder if part of the problem is he feels an obligation to “contribute” to the world and yet has no real sense of how to make such a contribution.

In summary: I would never seriously compare one person’s pain, or response to pain, with another’s.  However, Harry does seem to be unrealistic, both about what his life should be and what his life would have been if Diana had lived.

 

The thing is H&W have both massively benefited from their childhood tragedy. And they have very consciously used it for their own gain at times. Now, I am sure they would happily give their right arm to change the past.

But it’s save to say, that had she lived there wouldn’t be such a hype about Saint Diana. People are multifaceted and the tabloids would have started to exploit another narrative because that’s just how it works. Today, she would probably be a more classy Fergie (maybe like the ex of Prince Joachim?). She very probably would have made piece with Charles - it was already going much better. 
Her death and PP intervention about the boys walking behind her casket is the foundation of the public endorsement of them. People feel close to them, protective. You could argue they have a nation if foster parents or involved aunts and uncles. That’s why they got away with shit and got loved for not doing anything but being her sons. And they clearly used it as they got older. W has mostly stopped, H is still doing it but it seems he has scaled it down a bit too. If she had lived, they would have faced much more criticism and much less popularity and sympathy. So while I think they would happily swap this reality for a live with their mother, there definitely is an element of benefit to it. A cruel one though. 
And I don’t think we can really know how it has impacted any of them. At the moment it seems W copes better with it, but you never know. Because roles were completely the other way round just a couple of years ago. H might be completely traumatised - or he is just an entitled asshole that tries to use the legacy of his mother and her poor boys. Wiliam might have moved on and found healing and his place, or he might battle with depression and grief and just doesn’t let the world see it. My guess - the truth is somewhere in the middle.

It is absolutely ok to struggle even if you have all the resources at your feet. It’s ok if you struggle harder then people with less privileges. What’s not ok, is to act as if you have it harder than anyone else.

At this point I do wonder if H has actually had too much therapy. Sometimes it’s helpful to stop circling around yourself and your problems. Especially if after years and years there seems to be no improvement. Burying things and ignoring them is not always the worst option. H needs to stop fretting about his past, but find a realistic outlook on his future and work on that. His children deserve this. As he never mentioned severe problems, medication or more consuming treatments (ambulant or hospitalisation) I just wonder if maybe at this point his problems are more hysterics or even fed by cashing in therapists. Example: Having a severe panic attack after your grandfather died and you are to face a family you are really not on good terms with, alone against the rest, in front of the world, sounds like a very normal thing to me. That could happen to everyone. Now, I don’t want to act as if his mental problems don’t exist or diminish them. I am just at a point where I start to wonder if they are actually what they seem. I hope I can make my thought process clear?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

I have to disagree slightly. Harry knows how the system works. If his cousins much further away from the centre of power and attention know, there is no chance he doesn’t. And I am not sure it was a matter of „caring to inform himself“. I think he, for whatever reason, thought things would be different for him and instead of dealing with the factual reality he just snapped at one point. Wiliam and Harry were quite on the same side for years. Hating the media, reluctant to find their place and be part of the game, trying to build a wall around their private life including spouse and children. William, with Kate battled through years of negative headlines. In the end, they found a balance with the tabloids. Fragile though because in the meantime they had build up Harry as the saviour of the Windsors. The Anti-William. The war hero without PA sleaziness. The page only truly turned for W&K after the initial positive hype about Meghan turned into the (to be expected) scrutiny. Now, they suddenly never put a foot wrong while H&M could do nothing right. It seems H took it personally and couldn’t deal with the lack of endorsement but constant criticism instead. It seems he lost touch with certain realities from there on. That’s why he cannot let go of privileges he is just not entitled to anymore- and might not even be if they stayed working royals. That’s why he can’t accept his privilege for what they are but feels extremely hard done by. I don’t think the royals feel less entitled but they have realised they need to appear in a certain way to have those privileges granted for decades to come.

The thing is H&W have both massively benefited from their childhood tragedy. And they have very consciously used it for their own gain at times. Now, I am sure they would happily give their right arm to change the past.

But it’s save to say, that had she lived there wouldn’t be such a hype about Saint Diana. People are multifaceted and the tabloids would have started to exploit another narrative because that’s just how it works. Today, she would probably be a more classy Fergie (maybe like the ex of Prince Joachim?). She very probably would have made piece with Charles - it was already going much better. 
Her death and PP intervention about the boys walking behind her casket is the foundation of the public endorsement of them. People feel close to them, protective. You could argue they have a nation if foster parents or involved aunts and uncles. That’s why they got away with shit and got loved for not doing anything but being her sons. And they clearly used it as they got older. W has mostly stopped, H is still doing it but it seems he has scaled it down a bit too. If she had lived, they would have faced much more criticism and much less popularity and sympathy. So while I think they would happily swap this reality for a live with their mother, there definitely is an element of benefit to it. A cruel one though. 
And I don’t think we can really know how it has impacted any of them. At the moment it seems W copes better with it, but you never know. Because roles were completely the other way round just a couple of years ago. H might be completely traumatised - or he is just an entitled asshole that tries to use the legacy of his mother and her poor boys. Wiliam might have moved on and found healing and his place, or he might battle with depression and grief and just doesn’t let the world see it. My guess - the truth is somewhere in the middle.

It is absolutely ok to struggle even if you have all the resources at your feet. It’s ok if you struggle harder then people with less privileges. What’s not ok, is to act as if you have it harder than anyone else.

At this point I do wonder if H has actually had too much therapy. Sometimes it’s helpful to stop circling around yourself and your problems. Especially if after years and years there seems to be no improvement. Burying things and ignoring them is not always the worst option. H needs to stop fretting about his past, but find a realistic outlook on his future and work on that. His children deserve this. As he never mentioned severe problems, medication or more consuming treatments (ambulant or hospitalisation) I just wonder if maybe at this point his problems are more hysterics or even fed by cashing in therapists. Example: Having a severe panic attack after your grandfather died and you are to face a family you are really not on good terms with, alone against the rest, in front of the world, sounds like a very normal thing to me. That could happen to everyone. Now, I don’t want to act as if his mental problems don’t exist or diminish them. I am just at a point where I start to wonder if they are actually what they seem. I hope I can make my thought process clear?

Everything you've said in this post is so fair and nuanced, and the bolded is really profound.  

[EmCatlyn]

21 hours ago, DalmatianCat said:

……

The fact that Harry is starting to seem desperate to go back to England makes me think that his life was really much better than he made it out to be the last couple years. 

I have been thinking about whether Harry is “desperate” to “go back to England,” or “desperate” to get back the life to which he feels entitled.

While I don’t doubt that he would like to go home and spend some time with his family and friends, I don’t see the “desperation” to go back to the UK in his attempt to reframe the narrative so that he gets the same security that a working royal gets.  What I see is an insistence on his entitlement.

As several of us have pointed out, his alleged fears for the safety of himself and his family should they return to the UK without protection are definitely exaggerated.  If he just wants to see and spend time with his extended family,  he and Meghan and the kids will be perfectly protected in one of the royal estates, especially if his father or someone else who gets full royal protection is around most of the time.  If they were to be part of some jubilee activities, I am sure they (along with other royals who don’t always get protection) would get protection.  If there were credible threats there would also be protection.  So what is this obsession with getting protection or else they can’t “come home”?  

Is he hoping that the government will make an exception in his case because the Queen wants him back or because the English public wants him back?

It is possible, I suppose, that this is part of a strategy to negotiate for himself and Meghan the half-in/half-out role they wanted all along, but I don’t think it will work.

 

[EmCatlyn]

19 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

At this point I do wonder if H has actually had too much therapy. Sometimes it’s helpful to stop circling around yourself and your problems.

I agree with the rest of your message also, but I want to focus on this.  Harry is certainly right to have sought help and to encourage others to open up and get help.  However, one of the realities of therapy is that it doesn’t fix much unless the insights gained result in personal change.

All that I have seen from Harry so far is references to how therapy has shown him to be “damaged” and how the “damage” is the fault of others.  There doesn’t seem to be a sense of where he will go next with his insights.  His vague statements about making the world a better place for his children don’t tell us how he is going to try to be a better person.

Therapy is not just about identifying our hurts and recognizing why we do some things.  Therapy is about working to change ourselves.  There have been times when I have gone to a therapist just to have support, to have someone listen.  However, that is not effective long-term “therapy.”  It is a stop-gap to get through a crisis.

A lot of therapists for celebrities seem to offer very little expectation that their clients should work on themselves to get better.   Going to therapy for support is fine, but if you only go for support then you are not going to heal.

Maybe Harry needs a better therapist,  one whose goal is to help him reconcile what he had, what he has, and what he can realistically hope.

[just_ordinary]

@EmCatlyn RE the public: The majority of the UK public is pretty unphased by the RF. Even mostly indifferent as long as they play nice. The biggest thing is the call for downsizing to reduce the cost (completely overlooking that they are not THAT expensive and that this will not bring any substantial benefits to their own purse or a worthwhile project/cause. But I do understand why a cousin’s cousin support system is definitely outdated.). There has been a big respect for HMTQ building in the last years. Fueled by some clever long term PR (if they just had done a better assessment of the PA situation). She is OLD and still works, something that gives a feeling of stability because she is the only thing most people know and is not doing too bad of a job compared to other HoS. But she has been hated with a passion numerous times over the decades. The RF just doesn’t bother people enough to really push for a change. 
So I don’t think heated arguments by royal watchers are a good indicator. It’s a small community compared to the vast majority that doesn’t think of the RF at all most of the time. 
My guess is, most won’t care either way, or rather won’t have him back because that means another 4 mouths to feed (so to say). Especially after being lectured, called out as imperialistic racists and snobs in very generalised statements, and some boasting about H&M great ability to rake in millions. 
Harry is stupid if he plays the public endorsement angle, because the public as in the people don’t actually really endorse the RF. I said before, it seems he believed the hype tabloids created around him for a couple of years. Now it’s mostly US tabloids that he feeds of. But he must know that the UK tabloids won’t stop biting and that the public rather sees his back (nothing personal, they are just not into unnecessary hanger one to the HoS position).

I find it telling that after his latest stunt backfired, he brings out the sad his children and their royal cousins sympathy card. It’s not as if not having a connection to your cousins will lead to childhood trauma. And why would you want to have this connection if their parents are racist bullies (there are many very public discussions that W has to be the racist and H&M are absolutely fine with that speculation, when they made a point to say it weren’t HMTQ or PP) at all? Maybe concentrate on YOUR relationship with the family and the problems you claim to have (racist family members would be a big one wouldn’t it) before you throw your small children into it. 

[EmCatlyn]

@just_ordinary  I agree that if Harry thinks the English public will clamor to give royal protection to Harry and his family, he is much mistaken.  I also don’t think he is being realistic if he expects his grandmother to intervene in his favor.  The question is whether Harry hopes that one of these things will happen.

The impression I’ve got of Harry over the past few years is that he doesn’t really know what he wants in the long run.  His actions and statements all seem more focused on the short term, the immediate feeling or reaction, not a plan for the future.

 I don’t think the Sussexes planned their exit well.  They were too impatient (or Meghan was too impatient) and they tried to push things by making an announcement before things were worked out. Then, when they didn’t get what they wanted, they got angry, paranoid and (it could be argued) vindictive.

The funny thing is I think they deluded themselves that their “revelations” to Oprah and others would make the RF sorry and sympathetic.  We heard their supporters asking if the RF had “reached out” to them, as if the Sussexes were the wronged party that needed apologies and reassurances.

All this supports the idea that they didn’t think or plan out their exit. And I do believe that Harry never planned to be away from the UK for more than 6 months.

 

[SoSoNosy]

I never saw anything positive about her; to me, her body language in their engagement pictures was "look at me! I am going to be the biggest celebrity in the UK!!"  She pushed herself forward, and was very obviously not happy when she wasn't carefully placed at the front of every gathering (i e balcony gathering),  And the story bout QE sending Archie a waffle iron for Christmas, the electrical connections aren't the same, so that couldn't be the literal truth.  She has fed Harry all this nonsense about how mistreated he is, and how he (they) should have far more support from the family until he fully believes it; it probably didn't take much.  When my mother died, my sister-in-law demanded a copy of the will because 'there should have been A LOT more money!!  Money wasn't even mentioned in that will but my brother had led her to believe otherwise, then he developed Alzheimer's and left everything up to her imagination.  People who are looking for money/support can be oh so upset when it isn't there.