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Webster4Eva 10: If Alyssa Doesn't Record It, Then Does It Really Exist?


nelliebelle1197
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5 hours ago, Sheltie said:

You must have had a traumatic experience with a book on a shelf for this pic to have been so triggering for you.

That's so funny! Actually, books were vitally important to me as a kid. (I realize that's not true for everyone). I also connected with my own kids through books. I read to them a lot. I also loved watching them read and would never have put books out of their reach.

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Unicorn Bedding + from my friend @tikky_pantilavillarreal

I thought this was interesting. The stalker friend is now buying the girls' their sheets and pillowcases.

Edited by Jackie3
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15 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I had some books that were special. A few Dr. Seuss books from my father's childhood, some that were signed by my cousin the illustrator, etc. Those books were kept on a higher shelf when my children were little.

Yeah right, as if anyone coming from the Bates family cared for literature, education and reading enough to have (or even see the value of) these kinds of special books.

In Alyssa’s world, books are likely nothing but accessories, meant to look pretty and be decorative on a shelf. Nothing in that house looks like it’s meant to be comfortable or practical (white “dinning” room chairs anyone)?

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It’s super weird that the books are not at child level, they can’t see them and pick out their own books. 
 

She’d have been better off going to the thrift store, getting an old plate rack, painting it a bright color (no, not pink..), and displaying the books on there at child height. 

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2 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

It’s super weird that the books are not at child level, they can’t see them and pick out their own books. 
 

She’d have been better off going to the thrift store, getting an old plate rack, painting it a bright color (no, not pink..), and displaying the books on there at child height. 

Why not pink? She has four daughters under 7, it makes sense that pink is the most popular colour in their house. My daughter is a similar age and everything in her room is pink because that is how she wanted it. 

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22 hours ago, Karma said:

It’s almost like she’s a #superficialtwit…

I want my custom title back 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺😢😤

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22 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

Maybe different circles? My friend group definitely tend to be guilty of “showing the best”. Craft projects, our houses looking nice, etc. I mean there is the occasional “life is hard post” with tired faces and lots of laundry, but social media is definitely cultivated. 
 

we bought a house a couple years ago and when I took pictures of the kids room, I staged them. Toys in nice places, beds all made, books neatly organized. Not what it looks like day to day, but what I wanted to show. 

You wanted to “show” what? I really don’t get why people do this sort of humblebrag staging. And honestly, you and the portion of your “circle” who spend time curating your lives for social media posts are the only ones who are not silently rolling eyes at the show. This whole trend of “curating” life is a dangerous mindset and creates so many issues and feelings of inadequacy for women, especially, who think they cannot measure up.

A college friend posts thirsty AF photos of herself in shaky yoga poses nearly everyday. None of us can figure out what the hell she is doing but it certainly looks like she is going for some sort of curated influencer status. People in our wider network comment politely, etc. but there is a lot of snark going on behind her back because she is so obviously curating. 
 

I have been practicing  Iyengar yoga daily for 20 years. I take classes on zoom 3-6 times a week these days. I have even done some teaching and certification assistance, though I do not want to teach myself. We are picky practitioners in Iyengar. We attract a lot of academics, scientists, doctors, lawyers and dancers, writers and artists because of the attention to detail in Iyengar practice. I noticed this classmate’s Instagram practice and grew concerned about certain things, especially her inversions - her shoulder stand was downright dangerous. Thinking these photos were about practice and not about posturing, I offered to remotely teach her the proper way to do these inversions without damaging her spinal cord (we are in different states). The comment was not well received because it conflicted with her curation. I don’t get this stuff and I really don’t want to get it.

 

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47 minutes ago, CanadianMamam said:

Why not pink? She has four daughters under 7, it makes sense that pink is the most popular colour in their house. My daughter is a similar age and everything in her room is pink because that is how she wanted it. 

Because everything in the room is pink. It's weird. Even the bloody rainbow is pink (and grey?). Why not paint the rainbow actual rainbow colours? 

An entire pink room is just uncreative. Do they like pink because they like pink or do they like pink because they are told they like pink? 

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40 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

Because everything in the room is pink. It's weird. Even the bloody rainbow is pink (and grey?). Why not paint the rainbow actual rainbow colours? 

An entire pink room is just uncreative. Do they like pink because they like pink or do they like pink because they are told they like pink? 

Have you decorated a room for a little girl recently? I can tell you my daughter's room is 90% pink because that is how she likes it. I mean she even prefers the pink dishes over any other color. I have several nieces and friends with daughters and for the majority of them, pink was the favorite color at that age and not because of parental influence. 

I do agree about the rainbow though. Grey has no place in a rainbow.

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1 hour ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

You wanted to “show” what? I really don’t get why people do this sort of humblebrag staging. And honestly, you and the portion of your “circle” who spend time curating your lives for social media posts are the only ones who are not silently rolling eyes at the show. This whole trend of “curating” life is a dangerous mindset and creates so many issues and feelings of inadequacy for women, especially, who think they cannot measure up.

 

I mean more like if you take pictures of a meal, it is a nice one that has been played and not KD. It is taking pictures of your house at the cleanest. But it is definitely a false picture and it is important to know that you are only seeing a tiny bit of the real story on social media. It is the same vein as all the jokes about frantically cleaning when people come over so no one knows how you really live. I am definitely guilty of it but I am also open about my mental health struggles and I try to balance that.

I have actually never seen a single episode of either the Duggar or the Bates shows. I actually became aware of the Bates girls through mommy forums, did my research and read up about the hateful beliefs and then found this forum. 

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10 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

That's so funny! Actually, books were vitally important to me as a kid. (I realize that's not true for everyone). I also connected with my own kids through books. I read to them a lot. I also loved watching them read and would never have put books out of their reach.

I thought this was interesting. The stalker friend is now buying the girls' their sheets and pillowcases.

Yes, I love books and have always loved to read.  However, I think my Mom should have kept some books out of my reach.  I’ve been going through some things at my Mom’s house in storage.  I found a bunch of books and even my Mom’s high school diploma all marked up with crayons!!

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17 minutes ago, Sheltie said:

Yes, I love books and have always loved to read.  However, I think my Mom should have kept some books out of my reach.  I’ve been going through some things at my Mom’s house in storage.  I found a bunch of books and even my Mom’s high school diploma all marked up with crayons!!

Toddlers do that. After about age 3, books are safe. They can't even read at that age. Board books are the best choice for that demographic. However, after age 3 there's no reason to keep books out of children's hands.

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1 hour ago, CanadianMamam said:

Have you decorated a room for a little girl recently? I can tell you my daughter's room is 90% pink because that is how she likes it.

They might have wanted pink OR Alyssa might have wanted it. Why? Because she is so obviously giving her kids what she would wanted as a child. I don't think she's thinking much about the kids when she decorates.

Just look at the "dinning" room. Are that table and white chairs designed with four little girls in mind? How many times are they scolded for dirtying the white cushions or spilling something on the carpet? 

Little kids tend to use seat cushions as napkins. They smear food, and spill a lot. They get bored at mealtimes and start banging their silverware around. They make a mess, especially the under 4 crowd. 

That dinning room is designed for looks. She wasn't thinking of the kids. It's possible the girls' room expresses the same dynamic.

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1 hour ago, CanadianMamam said:

I mean more like if you take pictures of a meal, it is a nice one that has been played and not KD. It is taking pictures of your house at the cleanest. But it is definitely a false picture and it is important to know that you are only seeing a tiny bit of the real story on social media. It is the same vein as all the jokes about frantically cleaning when people come over so no one knows how you really live. I am definitely guilty of it but I am also open about my mental health struggles and I try to balance that.

I have actually never seen a single episode of either the Duggar or the Bates shows. I actually became aware of the Bates girls through mommy forums, did my research and read up about the hateful beliefs and then found this forum. 

Ah, I gotcha. I was thinking more in line of what my friend is doing or Alyssa does! Sorry!

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20 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

That dinning room is designed for looks. She wasn't thinking of the kids. It's possible the girls' room expresses the same dynamic.

I wonder if the dinning room is rarely used and they really eat in the kitchen. Do they have a breakfast table?

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1 hour ago, Jackie3 said:

Toddlers do that. After about age 3, books are safe. They can't even read at that age. Board books are the best choice for that demographic. However, after age 3 there's no reason to keep books out of children's hands.

My 5 year old loves books but she is not gentle with them. She is rough on the pages, spills water, etc because she is 5. So we have books that are in a bim easy for her to reach and then the good books are on a shelf in her 10 year old brother's room.

 

1 hour ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Ah, I gotcha. I was thinking more in line of what my friend is doing or Alyssa does! Sorry!

Oh yeah, people definitely take it to an extreme and the picture Alyssa paints is very fake. But with the bedroom in particular, it surprised me there was so much pushback because I feel like most people stage those kind of pictures. 

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1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

I wonder if the dinning room is rarely used and they really eat in the kitchen. Do they have a breakfast table?

She shows lots of pictures of them eating in the dinning room! But they may eat in the kitchen too, I don't know.

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4 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

This whole trend of “curating” life is a dangerous mindset and creates so many issues and feelings of inadequacy for women, especially, who think they cannot measure up.

I don’t get this stuff and I really don’t want to get it.

 

If I could like a comment 1000 times this would be it.  There is no way in hell all these people out there in cyberspace have these neat picture-perfect lives.  And honestly, to keep up these pretenses on social media for so-called "fans" must be completely exhausting.  They can have it.  As stated previously, there's something to be said about being just regular Joes living your lives on your terms and not displaying every rainbow and unicorn fart, poop and sniffle out there for the world to see.   

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1 hour ago, Jackie3 said:

They might have wanted pink OR Alyssa might have wanted it. Why? Because she is so obviously giving her kids what she would wanted as a child. I don't think she's thinking much about the kids when she decorates.

Just look at the "dinning" room. Are that table and white chairs designed with four little girls in mind? How many times are they scolded for dirtying the white cushions or spilling something on the carpet? 

Little kids tend to use seat cushions as napkins. They smear food, and spill a lot. They get bored at mealtimes and start banging their silverware around. They make a mess, especially the under 4 crowd. 

That dinning room is designed for looks. She wasn't thinking of the kids. It's possible the girls' room expresses the same dynamic.

I can not build a bridge over the white dining room chairs. What has she done to those kids that they’re not spilling, wiping hands, or worse faces or noses on those chairs? Someone is going to have a breakdown one of these days. I can’t imagine the level of policing and/or yelling going on in that house. FTR, Alyssa admits to being a yeller-

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24 minutes ago, CanadianMamam said:

My 5 year old loves books but she is not gentle with them. She is rough on the pages, spills water, etc because she is 5. So we have books that are in a bim easy for her to reach and then the good books are on a shelf in her 10 year old brother's room.

 

When my kids were similar ages, they read completely different books. The older one read things like Percy Jackson, while the little one read picture books or the Little House series. So there was no need to segregate books.

And if they banged them up, I was OK with that. Books are meant to be enjoyed, and they're cheap enough. I could replace "Little House in the Big Woods" with a used copy from Amazon for only a few dollars.

Now the kids are grown and no one is reading Little House or Percy Jackson. I've got them all up in boxes for the grandkids, when they come.

I actually treasure the creased pages because they remind me of such happy times. A shiny, pristine book would not have the same memories attached. My kids feel that way, too, and when they declutter their rooms, they urge me to save this book or that. They got such comfort and escape from these stories.

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6 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I can not build a bridge over the white dining room chairs. What has she done to those kids that they’re not spilling, wiping hands, or worse faces or noses on those chairs? Someone is going to have a breakdown one of these days. I can’t imagine the level of policing and/or yelling going on in that house. FTR, Alyssa admits to being a yeller-

This expresses my thoughts exactly. Either those kids have been "trained" in some horrible way, or they are acting like normal little kids. If they are acting like normal little kids, they are seriously stressing Alyssa in that room.

Normal little kids spill, forget to use their napkin, knock things over, etc. The little ones are still learning to use silverware--which means more messes. The older ones are transitioning from sippy cups to regular ones, learning to cut their food, etc. The baby probably enjoys throwing things off her high chair tray--if she has not been "trained" out of this.

Plus, the whole room looks terribly uncomfortable. I wouldn't want to linger there after a meal, sipping coffee. I'd want to go find a comfy chair.

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1 hour ago, Jackie3 said:

When my kids were similar ages, they read completely different books. The older one read things like Percy Jackson, while the little one read picture books or the Little House series. So there was no need to segregate books.

And if they banged them up, I was OK with that. Books are meant to be enjoyed, and they're cheap enough. I could replace "Little House in the Big Woods" with a used copy from Amazon for only a few dollars.

Now the kids are grown and no one is reading Little House or Percy Jackson. I've got them all up in boxes for the grandkids, when they come.

I actually treasure the creased pages because they remind me of such happy times. A shiny, pristine book would not have the same memories attached. My kids feel that way, too, and when they declutter their rooms, they urge me to save this book or that. They got such comfort and escape from these stories.

And that is why I seperate the good books. The ones I can’t replace. I keep them in my sons room because they are better with books and at bedtime I just go and get the one I read. But I am the same with myself,  I have books I will read in the bathtub and books I keep carefully on a shelf. 

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1 hour ago, HeartsAFundie said:

If I could like a comment 1000 times this would be it.  There is no way in hell all these people out there in cyberspace have these neat picture-perfect lives.  And honestly, to keep up these pretenses on social media for so-called "fans" must be completely exhausting.  They can have it.  As stated previously, there's something to be said about being just regular Joes living your lives on your terms and not displaying every rainbow and unicorn fart, poop and sniffle out there for the world to see.   

Being an influencer is exhausting because sometimes they don't just curate their social media presence, they also police their comment section. I had a friend who has more than 100k followers on Instagram. We were close. One time, I left a comment jokingly said "oh it's not like you to wake up so early 😝", she deleted it and refused to talk to me for a week. Our friendship ends because she thought I was being shady for not reposting her Instagram stories when she tagged me (which is something I never do to any of my friends anyway).

For some influencers, everything on their social media has to be perfect because that's where their income comes from and I could understand to a degree. But it could lead to this kind of unhealthy obsession too though, because their lives revolve around their superficial image.

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2 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

My Oh yeah, people definitely take it to an extreme and the picture Alyssa paints is very fake. But with the bedroom in particular, it surprised me there was so much pushback because I feel like most people stage those kind of pictures. 

I assume everything on Instagram is curated. It's supposed to be. It's a visual medium, it's not a place to write about your life, it's a place to show pictures. Most people don't want to look at dirty houses, dirty kids, and dark, poorly lit photos. So people use filters to brighten everything up, or change the colors to match their personal preferred aesthetic.  Personally, I still don't understand why my parents both took some of the photos they did, much less saved them in albums, pre-digital photos. 

I liked the room. I liked the muted rainbow. I wonder what it looks like in person, and how much clutter is just shoved in the closest or kicked behind the photographer. Because you know there is something. 

4 hours ago, Karma said:

Absolutely!  Make it happen @nelliebelle1197.  It’s so accurate for Alyssa. 

I put my "custom title" in the location field, just because I was so sad when they went away. Unfortunately, it's so old that I'm sure most people just assume I can't spell. I don't even remember the person who called me that or what thread it was in or even really why. 

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2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I can not build a bridge over the white dining room chairs.

I grew up with white dining room chairs and white carpet. If we ate something messy/stainable, I usually had to sit on a towel, and was reminded to use napkins. But the only person who ever stained anything was my horrible aunt who was four years older than my mother. Not any of the dozen or so kids who were over. Nope, the 50 some year old person who should know how to eat like an adult is the one who (probably on purpose) dumped cranberry sauce all over the floor and stepped in it.  And then somehow managed to get a black mark on the chair from what I suspected was a half smoked cigarette. And I think red wine was also spilled. 

There was also an incident with a blue pen but at that point no one cared anymore. 

My biggest problem with Alyssa's dining room is the rug. I just don't understand why anyone wants a rug in an eating area. I have turned down multiple houses (and argued with a real estate agent) due to carpet in the "dinning" area. The rug seems even worse, because not only is it going to get gross very quickly, it's going to lead to chairs and the bench being half on/half off. 

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