Mortons 4: Addie's Finally Married and All the Mortons Are MAGAts

[anjulibai]

Fights that last that long about something innocuous are never about the innocuous thing. 

I wonder if Tayte is resentful of the lack of quiver. That has to have put a lot of stress on their marriage. 

[browngrl]

Tayte does not seem engaged with Martha or even happy in most of her posts. He only looks happy when he is with his family or occasionally with his daughter. I suspect that things are even unhappier than what Martha describes in her post. Anyway Campbell posted that Martha's post was inspiring to her and made her think about her own marriage. I wonder what is going. on there - just the usually post partum restructuring of a relationship or ???

TBH I would watch the hell out of a reality show featuring the Mortons. Why did some of them decamp to South America. Just how Qanon is Samuel Q Morton? How do they pay for stuff? Is Sam truly happy with his rapidly growing family? What happened to Campbell's dog? What are Katie /the parents/Dorothy up to? Is Adeline as twee as she writes?  Who is minding all those children or do they just migrate from house to house? Is Kennedy even slightly interested in her latest pregnancy and what prompted the obsession with fitness? So many questions....

[fundiefan]

I don't normally speculate on the state of people's marriages; for normal people, the only people who know what is going on in a marriage are the two people in it. I let myself veer off into speculation with fundies though, because they are the ones who proclaim to have all the answers to perfect, godly marriages/courtships/engagements/parenting/life. 

And I think many of the women are stifled & not as happy as they expected to be. By that I mean, they were sold on the whole submission thing and their husbands loving them "like christ loves the church" - which they take to mean perfectly. IF they do exactly what they are told to do and behave exactly as they are told to behave and say nothing to every make him feel anything other than worshipped - their marriage will be happy & joyful and they'll be specially blessed by their god. 

Only, their formulas for all that - courtship/marriage/parenthood, etc - do not include the most important element of every single relationship. Two human beings who cannot possibly follow any rule book to the letter 100% of the time and are not treated as king/queen 100% of the time by their spouse because their spouse is just as human as they are. 

Also, it's funny that Martha thinks it's some enlightening, godly thing that she & her husband had a fight but are still in love and blah, blah, blah. That's what married couples do. Fight, disagree, stand off, get stubborn, yell; then they resolve the situation or agree to disagree and then they get on with their lives. They don't have to convince themselves or anyone else that god is the reason this epic fight didn't' end their marriage; they don't need to vilify the marital beliefs of others to make themselves feel like they have the secret while others don't know shit. They don't need to realign themselves with a set of rules surrounding marriage in order to feel like they're doing the right thing.

There is no right thing in marriage beyond love & mutual respect. Whatever that is to those involved. 

If Martha and...Campbell?...whichever fundies commented on her post - are having issues big enough to post on IG, they're having issues. And whatever they are I'd bet just about anything they're rooted in their expectations that if you follow the rules, you'll live happily ever after and never be disappointed a second in your life. 

God doesn't work that way, girls. 

Edited August 11, 2021 by fundiefan

[NachosFlandersStyle]

It's sort of de rigueur with this crowd to talk about how hard you fight for your marriage, I guess as a demonstration of anti-divorce sentiment? "We were in a tough spot, but we NEVER gave up and GOD pulled us through" etc etc. And lately all these folks seem to be banging on about how being fulfilled and happy is some kind of feminist lie. So I don't think she's being particularly out-there, by her circle's standards, by posting that. But my god, do you think it ever occurs to them that there are other ways to live? My partner and I have lived together for as long as these two have been married and I don't think we've ever had an argument that lasted that long, much less about something so inconsequential. If I were to describe the hard things in my relationship I might bring up health problems or financial worries. But we don't just sit around sniping at each other.

[SolomonFundy]

13 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

If their marriage is so hard, imagine how much harder it would be if she had 5 kids by now. A 3 hour fight over dog vomit? I can’t imagine having a three hour fight over anything! After arguing about a topic for so long, I would say you need to take a breather and go calm down. Sort of like a self imposed time out. But if you kept that going for 3 hours, there is way more going on than just the dog vomit. Wayyyy more.

Agreed. It's also worth noting that these people (especially the middle/younger Morton kids) had only the barest amount of home education, and simply don't seem to possess the ability to express their thoughts well. I would imagine that many conversations, good or bad, drone on endlessly while they both struggle to be understood by the other. Even assuming that she was using some artistic license or hyperbole for humor, the fact that she put this out as a thing that COULD have happened is a testament to the lingering, irreconcilable nature of their disagreements. 

2 hours ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

It's sort of de rigueur with this crowd to talk about how hard you fight for your marriage, I guess as a demonstration of anti-divorce sentiment? "We were in a tough spot, but we NEVER gave up and GOD pulled us through" etc etc. And lately all these folks seem to be banging on about how being fulfilled and happy is some kind of feminist lie. So I don't think she's being particularly out-there, by her circle's standards, by posting that. But my god, do you think it ever occurs to them that there are other ways to live? My partner and I have lived together for as long as these two have been married and I don't think we've ever had an argument that lasted that long, much less about something so inconsequential. If I were to describe the hard things in my relationship I might bring up health problems or financial worries. But we don't just sit around sniping at each other.

I think that a lot of the "fight for your marriage/against society" energy comes from the fundy urge to find ways to paint themselves as victims. Their marriages are hard because they were married to near-strangers while they were still in their teens, and nothing about their family or social culture prepared them for the demands of interpersonal communication or financial responsibility as adults.  But they can't criticize fundamentalism, so they rage against "society", since surely it's TEH LIBRULS that are making their daily lives so damned miserably unfulfilling and hard.

[Noquiver]

13 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Their marriages are hard because they were married to near-strangers while they were still in their teens, and nothing about their family or social culture prepared them for the demands of interpersonal communication or financial responsibility as adults. 

I found the most interesting part of her caption “trying to go back to love” after the fights. She also said it’s hard to love someone who’s being a “stinker”, the whole doesn’t make me happy anymore etc…. Me thinks the initial lust or infatuation which must have fuelled that courtship has truly worn off and they might just not be compatible people. And yeah the devil has nothing to do with this? Just basic facts like you’re both super young and were very poorly prepared for adulthood and adult relationships by your fucked up parents so you don’t possess the skills necessary to navigate adulthood successfully with another person?  
 

Whats sad is that unlike S’Morton adjacent Ethan Plath (and the other older Plath kids) who appear to be getting some kind of help from mental health professionals, Martha and her co-commenters are stuck and nothing is going to swoop in and help her improve things?

[dramallama]

I have been married for 14 years (plus 4 years dating and 1 year living together prior to marriage) and we have never had an argument lasting 3 hours, especially over something as inconsequential as dog shit.  All of this "marriage is a daily battle, marriage is so hard, fight for your marriage" crap - look, neither of us are perfect, we have disagreements and we annoy each other sometimes and we've had to deal with circumstances that were hard (major health problems, surgery, financial woes, etc) - but overall being married to him has made my life easier, not harder.  Granted, we don't have and don't want kids so I'm sure that's a factor as well as far as reducing things to argue about, but I really can't recommend a good long dating period and living together and not getting married until your late 20s highly enough - by the time we did get married, both of our prefrontal cortexes were fully developed and we knew as well as we possibly could that we were compatible.  I imagine being married to my first boyfriend now and I shudder.  

[ophelia]

On 8/11/2021 at 4:44 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

If their marriage is so hard, imagine how much harder it would be if she had 5 kids by now. A 3 hour fight over dog vomit? I can’t imagine having a three hour fight over anything! After arguing about a topic for so long, I would say you need to take a breather and go calm down. Sort of like a self imposed time out. But if you kept that going for 3 hours, there is way more going on than just the dog vomit. Wayyyy more.

I have to damit that a three hour fight about dog vomit could occur in this house. I can be really stubborn (and immature) and pregnancy hormons are making things worse. I can get so stuck in my anger that I have a hard time getting back to normal. This is definitely something I`m working on.

I‘m wondering wether Martha‘s secondary infertility affects their marriage much. Maybe Tayte is secretly happy that they haven‘t got a shitload of kids, but maybe he is really really disappointed.

[Nothing if not critical]

31 minutes ago, dramallama said:

I imagine being married to my first boyfriend now and I shudder

I am married to my first boyfriend, and have been for 24 years. But much like you said, we dated and lived together for a good long time first (eight years), and we were both adults when we eventually got hitched. Which at this point was a mere formality for tax reasons (sorry, world's most unromantic person here).

And yeah, we've had some epic fights over the years, but nothing like what Martha describes here... A good marriage should mean your partner has your back and you support each other through all the shit life is inevitably going to throw at you. If you use up all your energy fighting each other, something is wrong.

7 minutes ago, ophelia said:

. I can be really stubborn (and immature) and pregnancy hormons are making things worse. I

Pregnancy hormones can be a bitch! FWIW, I definitely think you can't be fully held responsible for your anger at this point, so don't be too hard on yourself.

[JMO]

I also think that since all of them are sold on that crap about God having one special person for you/Prince Charming coming to get you/romantic courtships with getting to marry your *best friend* sets them up for incredible disappointment when real life sets in. Especially when they have multiple kids quickly and their patriarchal culture means they have to do most of the work while praising their husband for the occasional diaper change or "babysitting " and not being allowed to complain about it. Alyssa made this coded post the other day about how all babies are different and her 5th has shown her the benefit and beauty of slowing down and not worrying about things being done. Translation: she's a colicky/clingy baby that needs a lot of holding and rocking and there are 4 other young kids at home so everyone is on survival mode. I can't imagine. I'm impressed that Kennedy is allowing herself to make the priority of doing crossfit. She no doubt needs it for her sanity. I couldn't imagine the mindfuck of having to keep sweet and putting your marital discord up to Jesus instead of doing something constructive like therapy and self care.  

[LanaBanana]

I would bet money that Tayte wants a son and probably has some resentment over that. It would be one thing if they only had one kid and it was a boy, but they don't. I also wouldn't be surprised if he helps out very little, since Martha "only" has one kid to take care of.

[SolomonFundy]

I may be in the minority on this, but I don't really get the vibes from Tayte that he gives a damn about having more kids. I'm sure he'd have preferred a son if the sex of their child had been a choice, but only because of fundy peen worship. 

He seems like he regrets the loss of his freedom more than anything. His eyes just look vacant in Martha's pics, and those are apparently the ones she feels that represent him best since she chooses to post them. 

[fundiefan]

1 hour ago, SolomonFundy said:

I may be in the minority on this, but I don't really get the vibes from Tayte that he gives a damn about having more kids. I'm sure he'd have preferred a son if the sex of their child had been a choice, but only because of fundy peen worship. 

He seems like he regrets the loss of his freedom more than anything. His eyes just look vacant in Martha's pics, and those are apparently the ones she feels that represent him best since she chooses to post them. 

That's been pretty much my thinking too.

He was 17 when he & Martha started "getting to know each other". 18 when they got engaged. 19 when he got married & became a father. He was sold a bill of goods just like Martha was, although it was a different bill. Make the babies, be a good, godly manly man, bring home the bacon, don't sleep with other women unless your wife refuses you her wifely duty then repent while reminding her it's her fault. 

Neither was educated in anything other than the roles their parents defined for them -  and the rules regulating those roles are not compatible with human life. 

The disillusionment must be soul crushing. 

[JMO]

Not to mention how often Martha shows pictures of makeup flowers. I'm sure that their fights are another level. And they are trapped for another 50 years. 

[JMO]

Edwin professed his love for Francesca on IG. Countdown to engagement in 3...2...1...

[fundiefan]

5 hours ago, JMO said:

Edwin professed his love for Francesca on IG. Countdown to engagement in 3...2...1...

Gag.

That's all I've got. My brain cannot summon anything else when it comes to the Mortons and their ilk.

 

[indianabones]

Kennedy posted about going on a 16-mile round trip backpacking trip with her husband, children, parents, and younger siblings (10 miles in and 6 miles out the next day). She's 34 32 weeks pregnant and her kids are 5, 3, and 18 months. 

I love backpacking, but that just sounds like hell to me, personally!

Edited August 17, 2021 by indianabones

[JermajestyDuggar]

36 minutes ago, indianabones said:

Kennedy posted about going on a 16-mile round trip backpacking trip with her husband, children, parents, and younger siblings (10 miles in and 6 miles out the next day). She's 34 32 weeks pregnant and her kids are 5, 3, and 18 months. 

I love backpacking, but that just sounds like hell to me, personally!

It’s probably distracting for her. She needs a distraction from her life. 

[freethemall]

Alyssa has had some homeschool posts, doing various themed crafts with the kids. I will say, compared to lazy homeschoolers like the Rodrigii and Alyssa (Bates) Webster, I'm glad to see she's being hands-on. I cant imagine how hard it is with 5 under 5, including a newborn. However, I hope she makes sure the activities are developmentally appropriate to each child's age - the 3 girls aged like 2-5 were all doing the same craft learning the letter A. My 4/almost 5 year old knew the letter A when he was at least 3 and now loves spelling, matching, finding letters, activities like that. The craft would be good but maybe for instance she would have the oldest girl think of words that start with A and help write them out. Assuming this isn't her first time learning the alphabet...

Have we seen other Mortons homeschooling, especially the younger set? Kennedy doesnt seem like she's focused on anything but fitness.

[SolomonFundy]

2 hours ago, freethemall said:

Alyssa has had some homeschool posts, doing various themed crafts with the kids. I will say, compared to lazy homeschoolers like the Rodrigii and Alyssa (Bates) Webster, I'm glad to see she's being hands-on. I cant imagine how hard it is with 5 under 5, including a newborn. However, I hope she makes sure the activities are developmentally appropriate to each child's age - the 3 girls aged like 2-5 were all doing the same craft learning the letter A. My 4/almost 5 year old knew the letter A when he was at least 3 and now loves spelling, matching, finding letters, activities like that. The craft would be good but maybe for instance she would have the oldest girl think of words that start with A and help write them out. Assuming this isn't her first time learning the alphabet...

Have we seen other Mortons homeschooling, especially the younger set? Kennedy doesnt seem like she's focused on anything but fitness.

Martha has been diligently documenting homeschooling her daughter since Zandry was about 3. It's mostly worksheets around the kitchen table, but I'll give her credit for following through consistently. Alyssa is definitely on another level with it, though. She not only posts pics, but describes what she's doing, why she's doing it that way, and seems to be conscious of the negative influence of social media aspirational lifestyle vs. reality.

Which, is great and all, but like... in what corner of hell is someone watching an exhausted 26 year old with 5 children aged 4 or under gluing raisins to construction paper, thinking "wow, she's really got her shit together."

[fundiefan]

8 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Which, is great and all, but like... in what corner of hell is someone watching an exhausted 26 year old with 5 children aged 4 or under gluing raisins to construction paper, thinking "wow, she's really got her shit together."

Unfortunately, someone in their culture is thinking just that. Someone is probably aspiring to that. Some girl who married young & has a few toddlers & a newborn is thinking it is exactly what she wants to do. For some reason their Sarah friend - the pretentious know it all - comes to mind. I have a feeling she is just dying to be as much like Alyssa as possible in the kid/"school" department. 

Most of them are not exactly concerned with quality of education - particularly for girls and particularly in Morton-ville. The basics are "good enough" for future breeders. Their real education is in learning how to be just like mommy and make babies. Throw in some floor sweeping & laundry folding (which you'll only need to do up to maybe 3 or 4 kids when it becomes impossible to keep up so then you just make sure it's washed & let everyone pick through the baskets) while you do "hashtag mom to many" posts about how busy you are with all these kids. OK, that last part doesn't seem to be Alyssa; she doesn't seem overly interested in social media. Many of the other Morton-villes folks though....

[JermajestyDuggar]

Since Alyssa’s children are so close in age, I wouldn’t be surprised if she put the oldest 2 in the same grade, then the next two in the same grade, and so on. Olivia Plath’s mother did that with her 10 kids. 

[JMO]

I'm surprised that the Morton Mamas on the compound don't do some sort of co-op schooling.  There is what, 24 kids on the compound?  I'm surprised that they don't form their own school and split the work.  But maybe that's against their "Every man for himself" attitude and is too socialist.  

[SolomonFundy]

11 hours ago, JMO said:

I'm surprised that the Morton Mamas on the compound don't do some sort of co-op schooling.  There is what, 24 kids on the compound?  I'm surprised that they don't form their own school and split the work.  But maybe that's against their "Every man for himself" attitude and is too socialist.  

They actually do seem to do this! Back when Addie was still at home, she posted pics a few times of assorted cousins working on their worksheets together at the table/on the porch under her supervision. Martha definitely keeps Alyssa and Kennedy's kids on the regular, and she has posted pics of the kids doing group work as well. Kress and Rachel's kids don't seem to have homeschool activities every day, but when they do, they are often together in a group.

Of the Morton moms that actually post publicly, Alyssa's quality of involvement and variety of activities are miles better than the others, though I suspect Lise' homeschooling is quietly superior, but just undocumented. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Kressant just posted that her younger adopted sister Sitara is dead. What the fuck happened?!?! She’s 17 right? And she was always healthy. I don’t understand.

Edited August 24, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar