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Maxwell 41: Taking a Short Vest Rest


Coconut Flan

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mango_fandango

That thing about Sarah wanting to be a wife and mother has been there for years. It’s so depressing.

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Yes, she acknowledges the emotional toll, but at the same time she's berating herself for being emotional about it and seems to think she needs to do better. She has been through a major ordeal - grow

Maybe being alone at home feels more like a vacation for the sisters than actually going to CO with their parents.

When I was 25, living with my mom, I came home to a burglar. I was very traumatized and it took me a good year or so to be able to stay overnight alone again, despite having done it for weeks before w

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lilith
10 hours ago, Bethy said:

New post up. They've redesigned the website. I don't remember there being reviews from purchasers in the past but they're there now. A quick browse shows that...surprise, surprise, every single one of the books I clicked on had 5-star reviews. Typically 4-5 reviewers, sometimes as many as 8, but every single one was a 5-star review.

ETA on Amazon, I see three books listed for Teri. Both of the "Sweet" books (Journey and Relationships) have solid 5-star ratings from a tiny handful of readers. The Meek and Quiet Spirit one doesn't do quite as well, but it also has 72 reviews to show for itself. Summer with the Moodys (the only one of Sarah's that I saw on Amazon, without working terribly hard) has some very critical reviews.

Sarah offered Summer With The Moodys for free on kindle a few years ago. So many snarkers downloaded it that it ended up on the kids bestseller list for a while and a LOT of snarky reviews were left for it.

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JordynDarby5
5 hours ago, Bethy said:

I know I've seen it on their site somewhere (I'd guess in a Dad's Corner from years back, but I don't remember for sure) that they want to caution couples that reversal doesn't always work. Just because they have the testimony that they have, and the five additional "blessings," doesn't mean that other couples should count on being able to have children again after a reversal.

All I could think about when I read that was this quote from the Dinner Party episode of The Office:

Michael Scott: When I said that I wanted to have kids, and you said you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids, and I wasn't so sure, who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn't want to have kids? Who had it reversed back? Snip, snap! Snip, snap! Snip, snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!

Note: Steve's constant rambling about his vasectomy/reversal over the years puts him in the same paragraph as Michael Scott. Something to think about...

Mad About You did one similar to that. Jamie kept going back and forth on just one kid and more. Paul kept having to have a vasectomy and then having it reverse each time Jamie changed her mind. Paul finally decided not to get one but not tell Jamie in case assuming she changed her mind, she got pregnant, miscarried which was really hard on both of them and they finally decided to have no more kids. So he had one more vasectomy. Although how it "worked" after having at least two vasectomies and reversals by that point who knows. 

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anjulibai
11 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

That thing about Sarah wanting to be a wife and mother has been there for years. It’s so depressing.

It is, especially since she's 38 now. It's certainly possible (my aunt married at 37 and had kids at 40 and 43), but I feel it's very unlikely for Sarah. 

What's interesting about that line is that that's been on there since she was in her 20s. Yet, neither of her sisters, who are currently in their 20s, note anything about marriage. 

Something snarkable, I noted recently that their bio says Teri and Steve have been married 44 years. They are about to celebrate their 46th wedding anniversary. I figured they were going to update that soon. Well, update they did, to 45 years. I'm guessing they won't be updating to 46 years for another year. 

Other snarkable, why haven't they update the pictures of the families with kids? All of them have added kids since those pics were taken. Hell, the pic of Chelsy and John is from when she was pregnant with Axton. With all the bloody photos they take, couldn't they have updated those? 

Overall, I don't like the new site layout. It's got too much space where it shouldn't, and not enough space where it should. The font is too big in some places, too. Just very blech. 

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lilith
9 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

It is, especially since she's 38 now. It's certainly possible (my aunt married at 37 and had kids at 40 and 43), but I feel it's very unlikely for Sarah. 

What's interesting about that line is that that's been on there since she was in her 20s. Yet, neither of her sisters, who are currently in their 20s, note anything about marriage. 

Something snarkable, I noted recently that their bio says Teri and Steve have been married 44 years. They are about to celebrate their 46th wedding anniversary. I figured they were going to update that soon. Well, update they did, to 45 years. I'm guessing they won't be updating to 46 years for another year. 

Other snarkable, why haven't they update the pictures of the families with kids? All of them have added kids since those pics were taken. Hell, the pic of Chelsy and John is from when she was pregnant with Axton. With all the bloody photos they take, couldn't they have updated those? 

Overall, I don't like the new site layout. It's got too much space where it shouldn't, and not enough space where it should. The font is too big in some places, too. Just very blech. 

They also say Christopher and Anna are looking forward to homeschooling as their oldest is approaching that age. Isn’t Joshua nearly 8? Surely they could have updated that when they added in Simon Peter and NR Anna’s cancer treatment. 

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Foudeb

Oh come come. That website revamp was about the design of it, not about the actual content. 

Updating the actual content needs to be put on the schedule... Maybe some time to schedule putting it on the schedule... Then more time to write blocks of two sentences at a time... And you have to fit that scheduling between Bible time and being your family's unpaid servant... 

We might see it in 2022 perhaps. This is because they are so organised and productive all the time, unlike us heathens who just go and do unscheduled stuff without prompting (so ungodly!) 

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mango_fandango

They’ve updated the details to include the names of all the grandkids, so John and Chelsy’s bio mentions Axton and Elliot. 
Their editing skills are clearly awful! 

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IReallyAmHopewell
19 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

If only there was some way of having that reversed.

As I said before, they will not do that. They will trust God to open and close her womb. Nothing else is acceptable.

Edited by IReallyAmHopewell
typo
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HoneyBunny

I’m not sure where to snark on Teri’s monthly Mom’s Corners, but I just about lost it today when I read that she actually practiced making facing in the mirror when her kids were young so she could determine what smile was most nurturing (my word). 
 

Do these people do anything spontaneously, or develop anything organically?  What mom has to learn how to smile for her kids?  

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crunchycarrots
25 minutes ago, HoneyBunny said:

I’m not sure where to snark on Teri’s monthly Mom’s Corners, but I just about lost it today when I read that she actually practiced making facing in the mirror when her kids were young so she could determine what smile was most nurturing (my word). 
 

Do these people do anything spontaneously, or develop anything organically?  What mom has to learn how to smile for her kids?  

I came over here to snark on the Mom's Corner too. Not defending Teri, but I didn't take that mirror test thing as practicing smiling at her kids, but trying to see what she looked like making different faces at her kids. The part that confused me was when she said, "Steve had motivated that test by encouraging me to smile more."  Did Steve tell her to go practice making faces in the mirror?  Why can't these people ever just say something clearly?  

Myself, I almost lost my shit when I read, "When the smiles aren’t automatic, what do you do? I think you pray and ask the Lord to help you put a smile on your face. Then purpose to smile, even when the smiley feelings aren’t there."  Ok, I can get down with praying for help with your mood/happiness/whatever, but faking a smile not-so-much.  Teri, are you saying that we should lie with our faces?  Because that's what a fake smile is, it's being dishonest about how you're feeling inside.  It's perfectly ok to be honest and to say to your kids, "I love you, but I'm feeling a little upset (angry/grumpy/tired/sick/etc) right now."  These people, I have no more words for.

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Joe Pukepail
On 8/1/2020 at 8:59 PM, Giraffe said:

We don’t know that. We know what they tell us but we don’t actually know. I don’t know about the specific meds she’s taking but there are some drugs that are so toxic to a zygote, embryo or fetus that the patient has to undergo permanent sterilization before doctors will even prescribe the medicine*. We will never know what they’ve chosen that doesn’t match with their “god decides” teachings and because that’s such a huge part of their testimony the vasectomy reversal is such a huge deal in the Maxwell world, they would never be transparent about that. They’ll just chalk it up to god closing her womb. 
 

 

*Thalidomide comes to mind

Not to be all "well ACKSHYUALLY", but in the United States anyway, thalidomide does not require permanent sterilization. I actually cannot think of any drugs that would have such a requirement. 

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Hane

Teri practicing facial expressions in the mirror reminds me of certain exercises people on the autism spectrum are taught to do. I’m not saying she’s on the spectrum, but she may be disassociated from her true emotions. 

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Tatar-tot
29 minutes ago, Hane said:

Teri practicing facial expressions in the mirror reminds me of certain exercises people on the autism spectrum are taught to do. I’m not saying she’s on the spectrum, but she may be disassociated from her true emotions. 

Disassociation from your emotions is the only way to keep from going insane in the land of Maxwell. 

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nausicaa
57 minutes ago, Hane said:

Teri practicing facial expressions in the mirror reminds me of certain exercises people on the autism spectrum are taught to do. I’m not saying she’s on the spectrum, but she may be disassociated from her true emotions. 

I practiced facial expressions during the worst of my depression because having a dead face with no responses tends to freak people out. 

I so wish Teri could have gotten some real help. 

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Bethy
On 8/3/2020 at 9:41 PM, mango_fandango said:

That thing about Sarah wanting to be a wife and mother has been there for years. It’s so depressing.

I thought it was gone for awhile, then reappeared.

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lilith
1 hour ago, Bethy said:

I thought it was gone for awhile, then reappeared.

How strange that The Lord still hasn’t brought a clone of her father to her front door! 

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Don'tlikekoolaid

I’m late to the party, but that Simon Peter from the Bible was crucified upside down by Rome.  It would sqee me out to name my baby after him.  Maybe it shouldn’t but it does.

 I hope Anna Marie has a successful recovery.

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mango_fandango

I can understand a “fake it till you make it” approach to some things, eg if you lack confidence in certain situations, but squashing down your true feelings and just ignoring them forever isn’t healthy. Those feelings won’t go away completely.

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HerNameIsBuffy
1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

I can understand a “fake it till you make it” approach to some things, eg if you lack confidence in certain situations, but squashing down your true feelings and just ignoring them forever isn’t healthy. Those feelings won’t go away completely.

I agree.  There is a difference between practicing a speech in the mirror because you're new at public speaking and want to convey confidence, and having to practice smiling at your children.  

I, like women everywhere, hate being told to smile that's because it's always when I'm working, reading, or just going about my business with a neutral expression which some see as RBF.  However, if I so rarely smiled around my kids that it was pointed out to me...that would be a sign that something serious was going on with me that would need to be addressed.  

Lack of smiling isn't the problem.  Why she isn't happy enough to smile organically at her children is.  

I've said it before - Teri scares me far more than Steve.  

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SassyPants

Sadly, the most often referenced statement about so many of these folks is, “too bad s/he didn’t get some help.” If I’ve read it once in the forums I’ve visited, I’ve read it hundreds of times. It about sums it up, doesn’t it? 

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Italiangirl

New post up about Sara life update...she claims she has been really busy in the last few months, she has finished the draft for the new book on July 1st. "Very, very excited, and grateful." Bah...

"The book cover is in process." How exciting somebody else is doing it so why this is related to you been busy? 

"Editing is in full swing." Again how exciting! 

"Copyeditor date is late next month."

"Press date is the end of October."

"The Titus2 website was a huge project and one I've worked on for months. I'm so happy to have it released!" 

And finally, a word about the wedding photos...it seems that it has taken her two months to organize them and then send it to the new couple for approval and have them back. Super busy life 

How boring I just need to go out and do something after reading this post 

Edited by Italiangirl
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fundiewatch

Sarah used some really odd bolding in that “update.”

I’m a therapist and do a lot of DBT with clients. One emotional regulation technique IS the half smile, and I’m a pretty big supporter of it. Possibly Steve was working some DBT into Terri’s skill set. 😉

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HerNameIsBuffy
12 minutes ago, fundiewatch said:

Sarah used some really odd bolding in that “update.”

I’m a therapist and do a lot of DBT with clients. One emotional regulation technique IS the half smile, and I’m a pretty big supporter of it. Possibly Steve was working some DBT into Terri’s skill set. 😉

This is fascinating.  What is the half smile?  (I have an ex who has had DBT therapy for BPD but it was after we'd split so I don't know the specifics.)

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