Myka Stauffer of The Stauffer Life: Where's Huxley???

[Cults-r-us]

James is maybe trapped like a rat? He seemed genuinely broken up on their why we rehomed Huxley video. I was visiting with a friend today who has a child with autism who has pica (eats his own feces), non-verbal and still in diapers at 3. We discussed MS. One one hand we envy her for getting out from under this life-long burden of a handicapped child, but at the same time we are repulsed at her lack of attachment,  compassion and commitment. James, do not impregnate this woman again. Or get another dog. Or anything. Your future is not bright with Myka. Poor Kova.

[Glasgowghirl]

9 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

James is maybe trapped like a rat? He seemed genuinely broken up on their why we rehomed Huxley video. I was visiting with a friend today who has a child with autism who has pica (eats his own feces), non-verbal and still in diapers at 3. We discussed MS. One one hand we envy her for getting out from under this life-long burden of a handicapped child, but at the same time we are repulsed at her lack of attachment,  compassion and commitment. James, do not impregnate this woman again. Or get another dog. Or anything. Your future is not bright with Myka. Poor Kova.

Agreed, obviously James isn't blameless but Myka is controlling and narcissistic and he probably goes along with what she wants to shut her up, he did seem to have a better bond with Huxley and probably could have done more to protect Huxley and should do more for the other children. 

I hope Kova's dad is now able to get more custody of her, Myka was able to turn on the waterworks last custody case and got full custody and her dad got holiday's and every few weekends. Myka refuses to answer the phone to her dad if he calls to speak to Kova but if he doesn't answer her straight away when Kova is at his house she threatens to go to the police and get him arrested for kidnapping. Myka cares about more about punishing her ex for no reason, he wasn't unfaithful to her as Myka claimed before, than her daughter. 

[Glasgowghirl]

It is being reported that Myka is pregnant again as she has been spotted walking around with a bump. Seriously fuck her and James rehoming a child then getting pregnant again a year later. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

It is being reported that Myka is pregnant again as she has been spotted walking around with a bump. Seriously fuck her and James rehoming a child then getting pregnant again a year later. 

Wouldn’t surprise me at all. And if this baby has a disability, she won’t rehome them. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

4 hours ago, Glasgowghirl said:

It is being reported that Myka is pregnant again as she has been spotted walking around with a bump. Seriously fuck her and James rehoming a child then getting pregnant again a year later. 

She already had a baby since they rehomed Huxley.  They had a boy named Onyx last year.  Her kids according to google are:

Quote

Myka has daughters Kova, 8, and Jaka, 6, and sons Radley, 4, and Onyx, 11 months

So if she's having another one. I always forget if they're religious or not, but they seem intent on having a large family. 

I think Myka was married before. If James is unhappy, he should leave and take the kids.

[Glasgowghirl]

14 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

She already had a baby since they rehomed Huxley.  They had a boy named Onyx last year.  Her kids according to google are:

So if she's having another one. I always forget if they're religious or not, but they seem intent on having a large family. 

I think Myka was married before. If James is unhappy, he should leave and take the kids.

She had Onyx in 2019 before Huxley was rehomed. 

Myka wasn't married to Kova's dad but they were engaged and they broke not long after Kova was born, he is involved in her life but Myka and James seem to mess him around and bad mouth him. 

[DarkAnts]

I know this topic is old. But, I stumbled upon the blog of the woman who ended up adopting Huxley. He is now in a very loving home with parents who understand autism. He is not being punished for sucking his thumb or stimming,  he is also not being forced to behave in a neurotypical way. He is safe and loved. His parents seem to be very understanding about issues adoptive kids can have. They honor the kids first parents. Not a lot has been shared about him (which is good in my opinion). She also doesn’t directly talk about the Stauffers. I thought it was interesting that he was in foster care before he came to live with his family. 

 

https://www.fosteradoptivemom.com

 

[fundiewatch]

How did you find out Huxley was placed there? I just briefly looked at the blog and it sounds like she’s saying good stuff, albeit with very trendy language (yeet?) and a lot of swearing to prove hipness. I always question why people need an online following, but my husband’s ex was a narcissist and it’s triggering to me. ? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m glad she lets him bounce to stim. I have a bouncer too (he rocks forward and back on the couch). He’s not autistic but I’ve never tried to get him to stop this behavior. He’s doing it as I type. I don’t know why I would make him stop since it hurts no one. 

[Exchange Atheist]

Did you read her newest post yet? She writes about anxious attachment and mentions situations which show her newest baby’s attachment issues. I suspect that this heartbreaking passage is about H.: 

Spoiler

Long story short, reactive attachment and secure attachment have been familiar to me for a long time now. Two opposite sides of what is ultimately the same coin. But we've been walking a new attachment path recently, and it's hard and heartbreaking in new ways.

My baby bird. The unique way you need me is new to me. You of the nightly wake-ups, screaming terror if I'm not right there, not the same as the "just a bad dream" that I'm familiar with, not at all. You whose body can find me in the dark, in your sleep, hands moving to clench around my wrist even as your eyes are still closed, some unconscious part of you still afraid, still vigilant.

You whose big dark eyes track me through every room, throughout the whole day. Affectionately yes, but also anxiously, vigilantly. Always on guard, a wail of dismay and fear if I'm ever too far out of reach, if a baby gate or a bathroom door temporarily separates us. I'm used to little ones who love me and and want to be with me but for you it's something else, and when we reunite after that brief bathroom break or trip to take out the trash and you cling to my front like a little sloth, I feel your heart beating wildly, not the rhythm of a child out of sorts but the panicked beat of an animal in a trap. You pull my shirt collar aside (they're all stretched out now) so that you can hide your face in the skin of my neck and shoulder, your entire body shaking with fear. I feel your heartbeat regulate with mine and my own heart breaks for all the fear you have to carry in your tiny body. The unfairness that you've lived in a world that's taught you that mommy might not always be there.

You are a little man of very few spoken words but there's one that you learned early and use often: "Mama." Almost always said in a high, anxious tone. You don't say much but in that one word I hear everything, everything you can't yet say: Will you be here for me, will you stay with me? Will you keep my small body close to your large one and not abandon me or forget about me or leave me in the nightmare of the unfamiliar? Will you acknowledge my fears as real to me or will you dismiss them? Can I depend on you?

Fight or flight happens quickly for you when you sense we will be separated, and I know you truly believe you are fighting for you life. Because to you, there is no survival without me there, and past experiences have taught you that in an instant, with no warning, someday I might not be. And when I tell you that watching you go through that day after day is the most painful attachment challenge I've ever experienced as a mom, it's really really true.

I am so incredibly glad that H. appears to finally be in a stable home and have a mom who understands and loves him unconditionally. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I don’t think she calls him Huxley either. I think she calls him by a Chinese name. Hopefully it’s his original name. I’m sure Myka chose the ugly name Huxley because it went better with her other children’s names. And it was trendier. Cooler. ?

[DarkAnts]

10 hours ago, fundiewatch said:

How did you find out Huxley was placed there? I just briefly looked at the blog and it sounds like she’s saying good stuff, albeit with very trendy language (yeet?) and a lot of swearing to prove hipness. I always question why people need an online following, but my husband’s ex was a narcissist and it’s triggering to me. ? 

It was the picture of him. I was reading one of her blog posts because a friend linked it in social media. I then stated to read others. I don’t think her online following is very big. She doesn’t have a lot of engagement with her posts. 

1 hour ago, Exchange Atheist said:

Did you read her newest post yet? She writes about anxious attachment and mentions situations which show her newest baby’s attachment issues. I suspect that this heartbreaking passage is about H.: 

  Reveal hidden contents

Long story short, reactive attachment and secure attachment have been familiar to me for a long time now. Two opposite sides of what is ultimately the same coin. But we've been walking a new attachment path recently, and it's hard and heartbreaking in new ways.

My baby bird. The unique way you need me is new to me. You of the nightly wake-ups, screaming terror if I'm not right there, not the same as the "just a bad dream" that I'm familiar with, not at all. You whose body can find me in the dark, in your sleep, hands moving to clench around my wrist even as your eyes are still closed, some unconscious part of you still afraid, still vigilant.

You whose big dark eyes track me through every room, throughout the whole day. Affectionately yes, but also anxiously, vigilantly. Always on guard, a wail of dismay and fear if I'm ever too far out of reach, if a baby gate or a bathroom door temporarily separates us. I'm used to little ones who love me and and want to be with me but for you it's something else, and when we reunite after that brief bathroom break or trip to take out the trash and you cling to my front like a little sloth, I feel your heart beating wildly, not the rhythm of a child out of sorts but the panicked beat of an animal in a trap. You pull my shirt collar aside (they're all stretched out now) so that you can hide your face in the skin of my neck and shoulder, your entire body shaking with fear. I feel your heartbeat regulate with mine and my own heart breaks for all the fear you have to carry in your tiny body. The unfairness that you've lived in a world that's taught you that mommy might not always be there.

You are a little man of very few spoken words but there's one that you learned early and use often: "Mama." Almost always said in a high, anxious tone. You don't say much but in that one word I hear everything, everything you can't yet say: Will you be here for me, will you stay with me? Will you keep my small body close to your large one and not abandon me or forget about me or leave me in the nightmare of the unfamiliar? Will you acknowledge my fears as real to me or will you dismiss them? Can I depend on you?

Fight or flight happens quickly for you when you sense we will be separated, and I know you truly believe you are fighting for you life. Because to you, there is no survival without me there, and past experiences have taught you that in an instant, with no warning, someday I might not be. And when I tell you that watching you go through that day after day is the most painful attachment challenge I've ever experienced as a mom, it's really really true.

I am so incredibly glad that H. appears to finally be in a stable home and have a mom who understands and loves him unconditionally. 

It is about him. Her other two adopted children are older. The middle child doesn’t use words to communicate. The oldest just graduated from high school.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m sure she isn’t a perfect foster/adoptive mom. But at least it seems like she’s trying to do right by him. At least she’s accepting of him. I don’t think Myka ever really accepted him. And that’s why she was able and willing to give him up. At least this woman will accept all the things that come with a child on the autism spectrum from another country and an adoptive family that gave him up. 

[ifosterkittens]

@DarkAntsI follow her on instagram, and didn't realize it was Huxley. I have learned a lot from her account. I'm not surprised she has a smaller following because she takes a hard line (which I admire) the goal of foster care is reunifying the biological parents and children, not adoption. Lauren says if your goal is to adopt go through the waiting child program and correctly points out people want younger children and there aren't many young children in the waiting child program.

There is another woman on instagram who is former foster youth, a foster (and adoptive mother), and just recently after 8 years of trying got custody of her half sister. It all happened very quickly, and I believe it was Lauren who first shared the woman's venmo information and asked those who could to donate, and spoke to the importance of family preservation.