Sierra 4: She Speaks More Spanish than the Vuolos and Dillards

[MaryOrMartha]

@Coconut Flan are ennegrams frowned upon here? Apologies if so!

[baldricks_turnip]

8 hours ago, MaryOrMartha said:

This sounds like me, too. I have to ask - are you a type 7 ennegram?

Not sure, I've never bothered to do an enneagram test. Is that indicative of a type in of itself?

 

[MaryOrMartha]

On 3/13/2021 at 10:30 AM, baldricks_turnip said:

Not sure, I've never bothered to do an enneagram test. Is that indicative of a type in of itself?

 

I am not sure. I just know that I am a type 7 and your description sounded a lot like me, so I had wondered. I'm curious to see your result if you take the test.

[UnicornHunter]

I know many people tolerate her more for being “relatable” but Sierras stove is making me nauseous.

[Joe Pukepail]

On 12/23/2020 at 5:45 AM, indianabones said:

My personal theory about Sierra's homeschooling is that she took the two oldest boys out of their Christian School because the tuition was too much for them, and she and Mark figured that if she was already home all day with the younger kids, she might as well homeschool all of them. I doubt they took into account that Sierra, by her own admission, wasn't a very good student and really disliked school. I struggle to understand why these people can't just send their kids to public school to be educated by college graduates who enjoy what they do and are good at it to boot. Even with the worry of secular influence- I bet half the kids in Daylon's hypothetical class come from Christian, Trump-worshipping families just like Sierra's!

Here is her 9 year old son's handwriting for reference.

I'm super late, but I mean, this basically looks like my spouse's handwriting, so I can't hate too much. Some people just can't do it. He's a lefty and he seriously writes like a child.

[RosyDaisy]

2 hours ago, UnicornHunter said:

I know many people tolerate her more for being “relatable” but Sierras stove is making me nauseous.

Me too!  That's not relatable, that's food poisoning waiting to happen.  

[catlady]

And that type of stove is so easy to clean. 

[FluffySnowball]

10 hours ago, UnicornHunter said:

I know many people tolerate her more for being “relatable” but Sierras stove is making me nauseous.

That might be a sign of her being overwhelmed. 

[Grace]

5 hours ago, FluffySnowball said:

That might be a sign of her being overwhelmed. 

She also put the chicken in a cold oven and 'cooked' it for 20 minutes without turning it on. I'd say she's super overwhelmed and understandably so with forty eleven kids, a DIY home remodel and big yard project all going on at once. That would be a lot even if her big kids were in public school, honestly. And then probably constantly feeling the guilt that goes with not properly educating your kids. She has shown that she DOES care about their Homeschooling and takes bursts of concentrating on it but there is no way they are doing much schoolwork right now. The kids aren't old enough to be working independently while she does this manual labor. They are likely watching the smaller ones instead. 

[Not that josh's mom]

I know the stove looks bad, but I will say I am impressed with the way she encourages her daughter, no baby talk, lots of patience, no scolding and even making fun of her own mistake. I wouldn't have been so patient - and I only have one child. Let's give her some credit.

[Not that josh's mom]

1 hour ago, Grace said:

She also put the chicken in a cold oven and 'cooked' it for 20 minutes without turning it on. I'd say she's super overwhelmed and understandably so with forty eleven kids, a DIY home remodel and big yard project all going on at once. That would be a lot even if her big kids were in public school, honestly. And then probably constantly feeling the guilt that goes with not properly educating your kids. She has shown that she DOES care about their Homeschooling and takes bursts of concentrating on it but there is no way they are doing much schoolwork right now. The kids aren't old enough to be working independently while she does this manual labor. They are likely watching the smaller ones instead. 

I'm the only one in my home and I've forgotten to turn on the oven or the crock pot. It happens.

[Grace]

1 minute ago, Not that josh's mom said:

I'm the only one in my home and I've forgotten to turn on the oven or the crock pot. It happens.

I haven't done it with the oven but the tea kettle all. the. time. WHY isn't this water boiling?!?! You gotta turn the dam thing on, Grace ??‍♀️

[clueliss]

I will confess to wonder why the toaster hasn’t popped my toast up and then realized I never put it down to actually toast.

[UnicornHunter]

3 hours ago, Grace said:

She also put the chicken in a cold oven and 'cooked' it for 20 minutes without turning it on. I'd say she's super overwhelmed and understandably so with forty eleven kids, a DIY home remodel and big yard project all going on at once. That would be a lot even if her big kids were in public school, honestly. And then probably constantly feeling the guilt that goes with not properly educating your kids. She has shown that she DOES care about their Homeschooling and takes bursts of concentrating on it but there is no way they are doing much schoolwork right now. The kids aren't old enough to be working independently while she does this manual labor. They are likely watching the smaller ones instead. 

This is all exactly why she shouldn’t have had so many kids. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Of course she has more kids than most people could handle, but she can't do anything about it now. Hopefully she will not have more and can recognize her limitations and pare down extra stressors a bit.

[Joe Pukepail]

5 hours ago, Grace said:

I haven't done it with the oven but the tea kettle all. the. time. WHY isn't this water boiling?!?! You gotta turn the dam thing on, Grace ??‍♀️

Better this than turning it on and then forgetting about it. So many pots boiled dry around here.

[Grace]

I'm starting to get really invested in her backyard project and annoyed that her update videos are so short ? I love a diy landscape show and I don't have those channels anymore ?

[HereticHick]

On 3/20/2021 at 3:57 PM, GuineaPigCourtship said:

Of course she has more kids than most people could handle, but she can't do anything about it now. 

She could send some of them to public school.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

That would fall under realizing her limitations and paring down stressors. If homeschooling is important to her, she needs to prioritize it and get rid of the other stuff instead.

In general, I don't find it helpful to say that someone shouldn't have had so many kids because they can't be unhad.  This is not based on fundie snark alone but something I frequently see or hear people saying on social media or in real life (always about the women). But for this family there is a lot that can be done to improve things for the kids and Sierra, starting with not having more. And probably some therapy for Sierra.

[Knight of Ni]

I'm sure more people than me have turned on the wrong burner before. Just last month my husband had to stop me from taking a pan out of the oven without a mitt. I was super tired since I have a 6 month old and just wasn't thinking. That could have been a disaster.

[Knight of Ni]

Another example of things I do when I'm really tired: I packed a sandwich for my lunch at work yesterday. It consisted of two slices of bread. That was all.

[3splenty]

I was trying to be helpful and I'm working 5 12 hour shifts this week (not in a row, thankfully).  I'm on day 4 and I'm tired!  This morning I almost went to work in my pajama top and scrub pants.  I realized the issue when I couldn't find my pockets. Hopefully I get more sleep tonight. 

[baldricks_turnip]

Sierra posted about her gardening and compared a failed seedling to herself at 17 attempting college, and then a not so great one to her trying to work a fulltime job at 18. Its making me cultivate a new theory about her.

I was about 17 when I first encountered the Duggars and the entire concept of fundiedom (there really isn't much religion here at all). At that time I was having to decide what I wanted to do at university, get top grades, contemplate future careers, etc. I was much more naive about the downsides of being a fundie woman and mostly saw what seemed to me then to be paradise: not having to worry about living up the expectations of the wider world, not having to deal with work stresses, only having to worry about keeping a house clean and preparing meals. The only 'acceptable' version of womanhood I thought was available to me in my world was to pursue the most prestigious career my grades would allow for then take a year or two off working for each child I had (and having more than 3 would basically make me a freak). Even before I embarked upon my career I wondered how I could best space children to maximise the time I didn't have to work. The idea that a fundie woman would never envision a time she would have to join/rejoin the workforce was something I envied.

Opting out of the modern version of womanhood for some idealised 1950s version had a lot of appeal! If Sierra went to university and considered the experience a complete failure, I can see how that may have contributed to her heading down the quiverful path.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I used to work ER with all the shifts that comes with, plus it was about an hour and a half commute due to traffic. One evening, going in for another 14hr shift (4th in a row) I tried to leave the house with no pants. Luckily it was winter so I figured it out before I reached the car. I don't miss that lifestyle at all!

[SassyPants]

I worked the night shift for about 10 years. I remember nights where nurses wore their scrub pants backwards, shirts inside out and mismatched shoes. The joys of sleep deprivation. Count me among those who have forgotten to turn off the oven (often) and burners. One time my husband forgot to turn off the gas grill. It is plumbed into a natural gas line, and was on for 3 days before I walked by it and felt the heat. Lucky we didn’t blow up the house-