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Girl Defined 2: Aren’t They Women Yet?


nelliebelle1197

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JermajestyDuggar
14 minutes ago, smittykins said:

Not exactly the same thing, but on the old Discovery Health series Adoption Stories, a couple who adopted from China flat-out admitted that they’d chosen international adoption because “we didn’t want to deal with birthparents.” 😡

That show was so messed up. I hated how they portrayed adoption. Some episodes were much worse than others. I watched all the episodes back when I was in college. I’m glad they don’t air them anymore. I’m sure they can be found on YouTube though. 

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Giraffe
17 minutes ago, smittykins said:

Not exactly the same thing, but on the old Discovery Health series Adoption Stories, a couple who adopted from China flat-out admitted that they’d chosen international adoption because “we didn’t want to deal with birthparents.” 😡

I would actually be shocked if this weren't the primary reason they went with international adoption. 

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Hane

International adoption can be fraught. Some ~10 years ago, a white friend and his wife (definitely not fundies—he’s an atheist UU), who had a son by birth already, adopted their second son from Africa. They attempted to be as open with his extended family of origin as possible, but have learned that people in their son’s home country have a much different view of adoption than most of us in the US do. Now that he’s in his teens, birth relatives are contacting him and his adoptive family for financial support, which they aren’t in a position to give. His adoptive parents have always been open to taking him to visit his home community, but now he feels reluctant to and somewhat guilty about it.

This is tough for a teenager—especially a black youth in a predominantly white community. Also, a few years ago, his adoptive family came to realize that he’s at least a couple of years older than they’d been led to believe. (I saw him after what I thought was a recent growth spurt in eighth grade and said to his dad, “So this is what eighth graders look like nowadays!” He was pushing six feet and was far more “cut” than most boys that age. That’s when his dad mentioned the age issue.)

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Jasmar
22 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would love to ask Kristen why they decided on overseas adoption of brothers age 6 and 10 when I can almost guarantee there are brother in the US Foster care system of similar age

I have a fundie-lite friend whose sister and BIL were not allowed to adopt from foster care because they were unwilling to promise they wouldn’t spank. They were all very outraged, but I was really thankful.

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Themanda Duggar
On 5/10/2021 at 5:39 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would love to ask Kristen why they decided on overseas adoption of brothers age 6 and 10 when I can almost guarantee there are brother in the US Foster care system of similar age. Maybe it’s because I have a friend who adopted from the foster care system that makes me jump to US foster kids. Her adopted daughter still sees her bio family. The families get along well together. I suppose that could be a reason why Kristen decided on overseas adoption. Which does bother me. 

To adopt a foster child, you have to first be the foster parent to that child, at least in my state.  I’m sure it varies from state to state, but I also suspect they wouldn’t have been able to homeschool a foster child in their custody, and that this would be a dealbreaker for them. 

And also, I’m sure they were pretty attached to having duper extra white children.

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Bluebirdbluebell

I'm glad the boys have each other. 

The language thing is one of the main reasons I think international adoption can be problematic. The Stauffers (youtuber parents who rehomed their adoptive son) made no effort to learn any Chinese and even though their son was young, the language barrier was probably still a problem.

At least Kristen and her husband have some connection to the Ukraine through her sister and brother-in-law. If the sister has children, it will be something they share heritage with their cousins. 

I think international adoption may be cheaper than adopting in the US and there are fewer restrictions in place depending on what country you adopt from.

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freethemall
4 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

At least Kristen and her husband have some connection to the Ukraine through her sister and brother-in-law. 

Hey guys one more time - its Ukraine, never "the Ukraine". See last page for an article explaining the historical context why calling it that is offensive. 

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Bluebirdbluebell
2 hours ago, freethemall said:

Hey guys one more time - its Ukraine, never "the Ukraine". See last page for an article explaining the historical context why calling it that is offensive. 

Sorry. 

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JermajestyDuggar

I just thought of something. The boys can likely converse pretty easily with one another in their first language. I could see Kristen telling them to not talk to each other in their first language in order for them to learn English quicker.

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  • 2 weeks later...
becky_m2001

Does anyone know anything about Rebekah's boyfriend, Daniel Gill? She did a Q&A on her IG but I missed it. I know it's really too early to tell but they already seem better matched than Bethany and Dav.

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  • 2 weeks later...
louisa05

The two latest videos on their Girl Defined Instagram could not be more cringe. The older these two get, the more cringe this all becomes.  And no one is going to tell them, I’m sure. 

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freethemall
22 hours ago, louisa05 said:

The two latest videos on their Girl Defined Instagram could not be more cringe. The older these two get, the more cringe this all becomes.  And no one is going to tell them, I’m sure. 

Except they've been crying about cancel culture and their hate and clearly reading the r/fundiesnark and r/fundiesnarkuncensored subreddits so they've seen the criticism and are taking it as persecution. Bethany in particular has been a major woe-is-me social media spin since their devotional launch turned out to be a massive failure, she did this daily reels thing and started questioning why people were unfollowing her and blaming them for it, and then lately lots of transphobic and motherhood posts that seem both in direct response to Kristen one-upping her but also struggling to enjoy her son. So she seems very sensitive to the feedback lately but is taking it as being trolled rather than true self-reflection on what a try-hard asshole she is.

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