Jed Is Running for State House and Now He's Engaged

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, indianabones said:

I think the fact that Katey "chose" to become a fundamentalist Christian when she was 13 and "chose" to dress modestly a few years later has made her more entrenched than someone born into the lifestyle. Converts are often more zealous.

I agree.  Look at JRod - she may not be a traditional convert, but she took it to the next level herself at 12-13 and convinced her family to go skirts only.  

 

[dawn9476]

5 hours ago, EmiSue said:

So, to recap (and correct me if I'm wrong):

Jed and Katey got engaged around Christmas without previously announcing anything, and will likely get married next month. He put more effort into his proposal than his campaign.

Jer is courting Hannah Wissmann, which overlaps with his twin's engagement.

Jana is courting Stephen Wissmann, at least since Christmas time but maybe since summer or fall.

The Wissmanns managed to be the first family to make a double match with the Duggars AND managed to score the coveted title for their son of Mr. Jana.

Lauren Caldwell is still not officially in a relationship with any of the Howlers, despite the best efforts of many tabloids.

Whew! And to think I almost gave up fundie-snaking for Lent. Glad I rethought that one. 

According to WACB, Lauren and Jason are really close but not courting or anything. Her source told her that people would love see it go beyond that, though.

[Bad Wolf]

What does Jed do, besides run unsuccessfully for state senate? Silly question. He's a Duggar male, daddy will provide.

[dawn9476]

1 hour ago, OHFL2009 said:

According to Fundie Wiki, Stephen's birthday is July 15, 1993 and Jana's birthday is January 12, 1990, so basically any time in the second half of the year Stephen will be 28 and Jana will be 31. 

Hannah's birthday is June 23, 1995 and Jer's birthday is December 30, 1998, so they'd have to marry in the next few months for Hannah to be 25 and Jer 22. Or wait and have a New Year's Eve wedding when Jer is 23 and Hannah 26.

 

Since the pool of fundies for Jana to married is so much smaller, her ending up with someone a few years younger than her is a given.

[viii]

11 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

I'd say that he ability to switch gears like that at 13, and at 15 means she is also a candidate to switch away from the lifestyle. 

If she had been in her early twenties, then definitely, but for her teenage years, I'm not sure. You're at such an impressionable age and now that she's marrying into the kool-aid, I doubt she will be getting away from it. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, viii said:

If she had been in her early twenties, then definitely, but for her teenage years, I'm not sure. You're at such an impressionable age and now that she's marrying into the kool-aid, I doubt she will be getting away from it. 

That's what I think.  At that age going through phases to revamp your identity is completely normal, but if it sticks for years then it's a bigger red flag for me that it's going to be harder to break away.  

I went through a phase about 12-13 where I was obsessed with monogramed sweaters from the Limited.  I had every version in almost every color and I was trying to make it my thing, despite a wool allergy.  Phase ended before I even wore all of them...too bad these people can't develop an allergy to self-righteousness.  

[indianabones]

I put "chose" in quotations because I'm assuming that she was pressured pretty heavily into fundamentalism by her parents. Her dad even wrote in the blog about how she really didn't want to be homeschooled or go along with a lot of it until they sent her to Journey to the Heart in 2013. From what she's written since then, it looks like she's in it pretty deep at this point. I don't think it's a phase.

[FaithAndReason]

18 minutes ago, dawn9476 said:

Since the pool of fundies for Jana to married is so much smaller, her ending up with someone a few years younger than her is a given.

There are 35 Arndt sons that are older than Jana to choose from .....?

[justmy2cents]

9 minutes ago, FaithAndReason said:

There are 35 Arndt sons that are older than Jana to choose from .....?

They’re probably the wrong kind of fundie.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, justmy2cents said:

They’re probably the wrong kind of fundie.

Michelle blurs her bare knees on camera and Cathy lives in shorts.  Yep, they are very different flavors of fundy.

[GlitterJam]

1 hour ago, indianabones said:

I read Katey's blog on the Nakatsu family website. She has definitely drunk the kool-aid, and while I agree that she's out of Jed's league they seem perfect for each other. I don't see her leading him away from the family at all.

This is interesting, from the post titled "Love" on November 13, 2020:

Interestingly, I find freedom in admitting that I don’t love. I think we deceive ourselves into thinking we do love, because, well, who wants to admit they don’t? But if we are to be truly honest, do we love as God does? He is our standard.

If the answer is no (like it is for me), let’s find freedom in that truth and then quickly do something about it. I don’t mean make a long checklist of how we will try to love, because we’ve already learned our own efforts fail every time.

I believe true love comes from two things: spending time with the One who is love, and choosing to love regardless of how I feel.

I'm not sure she knows what she's signing up for here.

Edit to add this bit, which is actually really concerning!:

Love is not a feeling. When asked why a wife is about to divorce her husband she may say something like, “I just realized I don’t love him anymore.” Oh really? If we were to look at the actual definition, the biblical definition of love, that argument would be completely unfounded. We don’t have the right to suddenly “quit loving” someone. Love is a choice; love is an action; love is a command. Anytime I am not loving someone, I am wrong, I am guilty, I am sinning.

Edited March 16, 2021 by GlitterJam
added more

[Satan'sFortress]

Apropos of nothing, but "Jedidiah Duggar" is difficult to say.

I've certainly never thought about it until I saw the wedding invitation, but there you go.  Jedidiah Duggar. Jedidiah Duggar. Jedidiah Duggar. Try saying that three times fast after a glass of wine or a very special brownie.

[Smee]

1 hour ago, Cheetah said:

What about a double wedding for the Duggar/Wissman couples?  At least in that case it's just 2 families involved rather than 3.  

If Jana doesn’t get her own wedding JB is dumber than I thought.

 

[Smee]

15 minutes ago, GlitterJam said:

This is interesting, from the post titled "Love" on November 13, 2020:

Interestingly, I find freedom in admitting that I don’t love. I think we deceive ourselves into thinking we do love, because, well, who wants to admit they don’t? But if we are to be truly honest, do we love as God does? He is our standard.

If the answer is no (like it is for me), let’s find freedom in that truth and then quickly do something about it. I don’t mean make a long checklist of how we will try to love, because we’ve already learned our own efforts fail every time.

I believe true love comes from two things: spending time with the One who is love, and choosing to love regardless of how I feel.

I'm not sure she knows what she's signing up for here.

Edit to add this bit, which is actually really concerning!:

Love is not a feeling. When asked why a wife is about to divorce her husband she may say something like, “I just realized I don’t love him anymore.” Oh really? If we were to look at the actual definition, the biblical definition of love, that argument would be completely unfounded. We don’t have the right to suddenly “quit loving” someone. Love is a choice; love is an action; love is a command. Anytime I am not loving someone, I am wrong, I am guilty, I am sinning.

I can relate to a lot of this. I do think after a while, commitment becomes more important than feelings - I’m not “in love” with my husband but we have a great partnership and friendship and similar values and are good co-parents to our three children, so I see my life as better with him than without. But I’m saying this after twelve years of marriage, with finances entangled and kids and our whole lives built together. I also recognise that I’m asexual and just because feelings aren’t a dealbreaker for me doesn’t mean it’s wrong for them to be a dealbreaker for others. To be arguing that you “don’t love” before even getting engaged makes me wonder if this is an arranged marriage, a one-way attraction (Jed crushing on her) that she is powerless to have an opinion on, or just a self-righteous attempt to be “better” than the “fickle” love she thinks she sees in the world. Her comment about wives divorcing their husbands shows a lack of understanding of adult relationships and the many complicated reasons they end.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Just like the Bowers/Bontragers did. Although the dynamics are a little different because its 2 brother-sister pairs in this case.

Although the Bontrager-Helferich pairings had separate wedding. Allison and Jeremiah were married in August. Denver and Praise are getting married on Saturday. (If there's a live stream, please join us.)

[NCLunaLovegoodFan]

I think her parents are divorced. Maybe that might be a factor in her feelings and her family’s conversion to IBLP

[Bluebirdbluebell]

50 minutes ago, indianabones said:

I put "chose" in quotations because I'm assuming that she was pressured pretty heavily into fundamentalism by her parents. Her dad even wrote in the blog about how she really didn't want to be homeschooled or go along with a lot of it until they sent her to Journey to the Heart in 2013. From what she's written since then, it looks like she's in it pretty deep at this point. I don't think it's a phase.

I knew someone who converted as a teen. She married someone who was fundie-lite. A few years later they got divorced. She is not fundie now. There's a psychological term I can't remember and can't find with google for what happened. Basically it was like she was stuck in phase from her teens and she didn't get out of it until a decade and a half later. 

[viii]

I do think eventually a Duggar marriage is going to end in divorce. There's no way to have 19 children married and not have at least one of them divorce. 

[Marionette]

1 hour ago, indianabones said:

It is not! I claimed it was twice in this topic, and I was wrong. Totally different ministry.

I thought Katey was involved in IBLP’s Prison JTTH. Is that not the same as what the Kellers do? I thought the Kellers sort of hosted it. 

[Italiangirl]

I was thinking since Katey hasn't been homeschooled till she was a little bit older (12 I think?) Maybe she could relieve Ben from his school duty and homeschool at least the younger Duggar? She probably has a better education than everybody else in that family, also because she and her sister were the only two kids to check for homework and in general for school

[FinallyStoppedLurking]

1 hour ago, GlitterJam said:

This is interesting, from the post titled "Love" on November 13, 2020:

Interestingly, I find freedom in admitting that I don’t love. I think we deceive ourselves into thinking we do love, because, well, who wants to admit they don’t? But if we are to be truly honest, do we love as God does? He is our standard.

If the answer is no (like it is for me), let’s find freedom in that truth and then quickly do something about it. I don’t mean make a long checklist of how we will try to love, because we’ve already learned our own efforts fail every time.

I believe true love comes from two things: spending time with the One who is love, and choosing to love regardless of how I feel.

I'm not sure she knows what she's signing up for here.

Edit to add this bit, which is actually really concerning!:

Love is not a feeling. When asked why a wife is about to divorce her husband she may say something like, “I just realized I don’t love him anymore.” Oh really? If we were to look at the actual definition, the biblical definition of love, that argument would be completely unfounded. We don’t have the right to suddenly “quit loving” someone. Love is a choice; love is an action; love is a command. Anytime I am not loving someone, I am wrong, I am guilty, I am sinning.

Her blog excerpt here really concerns me. I haven’t gone to look at the whole blog so I could be wrong but is she just referring to romantic love or all kinds of love? Is she saying she doesn’t love her family or friends? If she is saying that I’m concerned for her future children. They would grow up with their mother not loving them if this is how she feels. Maybe I’m overthinking and/or misinterpreting this but it has me concerned. 

[indianabones]

36 minutes ago, Marionette said:

I thought Katey was involved in IBLP’s Prison JTTH. Is that not the same as what the Kellers do? I thought the Kellers sort of hosted it. 

Mike Keller's ministry is called Freedom in Truth Ministry and is based in Interlachen, FL. The one Katey did is called the Joy Program (short for Journey of Years). Katey's ministry was at a women's prison in Ocala, FL. I couldn't find any connection between the two while Googling, but maybe they are?

20 minutes ago, Italiangirl said:

I was thinking since Katey hasn't been homeschooled till she was a little bit older (12 I think?) Maybe she could relieve Ben from his school duty and homeschool at least the younger Duggar? She probably has a better education than everybody else in that family, also because she and her sister were the only two kids to check for homework and in general for school

She left public school after finishing 8th grade.

Edited March 16, 2021 by indianabones

[fundiefriday]

9 hours ago, Marionette said:

@indianabones yes, I have. Sorry I’m late to the party—looks like y’all found some pics.

I will clear up KJ’s claim that no one knew about Jed’s relationship. I haven’t seen the Duggars in almost 2 years, I think (maybe 3, saw them at a wedding), yet I’ve known for at least 6 months that he was in a relationship with Katey. I mean, word made it through the grapevine to me who doesn’t even associate with any of those people anymore (for the most part; I do still know a few people who still stick around them)... I have no idea if that wedding invite is real, but I’m pretty sure the date is correct. I have no idea why they haven’t officially announced. Are they just going to have a “surprise” wedding? 

I may have mentioned this before, but I was friends with Katey yeeears ago. We met at JTTH, and though we only occasionally communicated, we usually reconnected at Big Sandy.

Disclaimer (I guess?): I didn’t previously confirm (I also knew Justin’s wedding date) because I don’t spend much time on the Duggar threads. The Duggars are boring, and the fact that I grew up around them and know a lot of the ins-and-outs of their family makes them even more boring. There have been a lot of people over the years who were “friends” with the Duggars, yet sold them out to gossip sites and pages (whether tabloids or Pickles). Honestly, sometimes it felt like an invasion of privacy, since as a teenager I’d occasionally find my face strewn across the internet in a picture I didn’t know was being taken. That’s the price of being friends with an infamous family, I suppose. Anyways, I feel weird talking about them (or even the Bateses) sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I 100000% agree they are public figures who deserve criticism and should be exposed. I’ve said before that Joshgate (even Recovering Grace and the lawsuit against Gothard) was a major event in me leaving fundamentalism.

Btw, is this a bad time to non-confirm that Jana & Jer are in relationships with Wissmans? You didn’t hear it from me! ?

I've been waiting for a real Jana courtship forever.  Lol. I really hope this works out for her.  I can't imagine being 31 and not having your own private space.  

[irish_dancing_canadian]

45 minutes ago, viii said:

I do think eventually a Duggar marriage is going to end in divorce. There's no way to have 19 children married and not have at least one of them divorce. 

Could see it being Josiah and Lauren. Always found that match to be odd. Guess only time will tell. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I honestly doubt there will be only one divorce.