Seewalds 38: Waiting on Seaweed Three

[viii]

My best friend's daughter turns 9 tomorrow, and she still wets the bed. She'll go a week or two without an accident, and then suddenly boom. Her dad walked out of the family when she was 4, and so it was originally contributed to that, but she's a relatively happy, well adjusted 9 year old now. Would that still have an effect on her? I'm not sure what we can do different to give her success. We've tried lots of different methods with rewards and stuff. I don't believe she's wetting out of bad behaviour, or laziness. 

[nausicaa]

12 minutes ago, viii said:

My best friend's daughter turns 9 tomorrow, and she still wets the bed. She'll go a week or two without an accident, and then suddenly boom. Her dad walked out of the family when she was 4, and so it was originally contributed to that, but she's a relatively happy, well adjusted 9 year old now. Would that still have an effect on her? I'm not sure what we can do different to give her success. We've tried lots of different methods with rewards and stuff. I don't believe she's wetting out of bad behaviour, or laziness. 

Probably an overshare, and you likely already know this, but there is an anti-diuretic hormone that slows urine production while sleeping, and some people have less of it, or are late to develop enough of it. I wet the bed until third grade, despite being daytime potty trained at age two with no problem.

I wasn't sexually abused, wasn't particularly stressed or anxious, and was on track for all other developmental indicators. I just drank a lot of fluids, slept really deeply, and probably didn't have enough of that hormone. (As an adult I still wake up once a night to pee, and often it's quite urgent. )

It was completely out of my control. I'd just wake up from a dead sleep and be like "ugh, again??" I hated it and hated having to skip sleepovers. I thought I would wet the bed forever, but gradually I made it through more and more nights without an accident in third grade, and by the end of the school year was fine. 

My brother wet the bed until first grade as well. And we are both left-handed. There is some evidence that shows it's more common in left-handed people, but no one knows why. 

[kmachete14]

@viii Look into Starry. It wakes you up gently if you don't have the natural "cue" to wake up and go. 

[lizzybee]

5 hours ago, MaryOrMartha said:

My son is almost 2 and a half, and he is no where near close to potty training. My husband and I are trying for our second baby and I am dreading having 2 in diapers. But I figure we will cross that bridge when we arrive.

I have an almost 2.5 yo and a 10 mo and thus have been doing two in diapers for a while now. I promise it really isn't too challenging. I go through about 8-10 diapers combined throughout the day and for the most part I can change them at "checkpoints" throughout the day (up, nap, dinner, some in-betweens if necessary, & bedtime).  Of course there's a plethora of exceptions to that rule, but just like anything it becomes routine. I don't feel like my older one is anywhere near ready either so I'm happy to leave him alone for now. 

[Chickenbutt]

@viiiMy recommendation would be for your friend to have the child evaluated by a pediatric urologist. My younger son, was potty trained, was dry at night and then started having accidents during the day. He was referred to a pediatric urologist who found he had a urological anomaly that was surgically* fixed pretty easily. 

If all is well, then the doc can give you recommendations to help with the issue. 

* in case anyone is interested he had a Transurethral Resection of a Posterior Urethral Valve

 

 

[Hisey]

Jessa seems to think Spud should not be having accidents. She's wrong. Accidents are part of the process. She should expect them. She shouldn't be taping Spud while talking in suppressed frustration. Potty training means they have accidents. That's how they learn.

Don't waste your time sitting him on the potty all day, Jessa. Let him go about his business and have a few accidents. Then take him from his play, clean him up, explain what happened. It shouldn't take him long to figure things out. It's best if this takes place in summer and outside. But he needs to fail a few times (ie, have accidents) in order to learn.

Spud thinks his pants leaked, and Jessa feels he is making a funny "excuse." He isn't. He just has no idea what is happening. He's been in diapers all his life, for goodness sake! It's not an excuse, it's his idea of a logical explanation. That's why he thinks he's "sweaty", poor kid. He understands the concept of sweaty. He doesn't realize he urinated.

Pickles' post annoyed me. I usually don't have a problem with her, but she knows nothing about potty training. Jessa should have started him earlier? Really? Like he'd bring more maturity to this situation as  a two-year old instead of a three-year old? I also don't like the way she calls kids "lazy" when they don't potty train quickly. Hey, if they understood what was going on and ignored the cues to pee, then maybe they'd be lazy (though more often, they're just absorbed in play). But most of them don't understand the cues yet. That's why it's "potty training" and not "potty trained."

I think Jessa was right to wait till he was 3. Potty training is not just about recognizing the signs of urination and defecation. It's about undoing your pants, being able to pull them down, climbing onto the toilet seat, etc. Things that most two year olds can't tackle alone.

[Carm_88]

I think it's a bit different for Jessa with Spurgeon than it is for most parents. This day and age most Mom's are going back to work and after a while, daycares will want the kid to be potty trained. Even past that, around 4 kids will start going to Pre-K or that type of a thing, Jessa doesn't have that. There was no rush for her to potty train Spurgeon because he won't be going to daycare, he won't be going to school with his peers. 3 in diapers got her started on that. 

My brother was 3, 3 and a half before he showed any interest and my parents basically had to have him run around with no pants on for months before he would even think about it. 

[AtlanticTug]

2 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I think it's a bit different for Jessa with Spurgeon than it is for most parents. This day and age most Mom's are going back to work and after a while, daycares will want the kid to be potty trained. Even past that, around 4 kids will start going to Pre-K or that type of a thing, Jessa doesn't have that. There was no rush for her to potty train Spurgeon because he won't be going to daycare, he won't be going to school with his peers. 3 in diapers got her started on that. 

 

The flip side of this is that Jessa has had waaaaay more time than those Moms to work on this.

Look, it's totally fine if he wasn't ready, but if that's the case for waiting until 3.5 then you don't video him in frustration that he's had a single accident on DAY ONE. Like, what the hell? I knew my son wasn't ready at 2, so we waited until he was a few months older and I totally understood that there would be accidents.

[Bad Wolf]

I really didn't think that Spurgie made the connection between wet pants and needing to pee. He will.

[Tangy Bee]

Like I said before...she has been more interested in helping him learn scripture instead of focusing on the potty training. Good news is, he will one day be teaching his lil bro how to use the potty. Hopefully he will be  doing better by the time his new sibling arrives. If not...that's 3 different diaper sizes to keep up with. YIKES!

[MarbleRainbow]

Reading all these potty training stories brings back a memory of my next youngest sister (she's two years younger than me). When my parents first set up bunk beds to make space for three girls in one room, my younger sister had the top bunk and I was on the bottom bunk. I very clearly remember her getting out of bed, standing on the top rung of the ladder to her bed and peeing and then going back to bed. She did that more than once too. Sometimes I would yell for my Mom if my parents were still up - "She's peeing on the ladder again!" It was so gross and really annoying for my Mom to clean up. They switched me to the top bunk after a few times of that happening! And she was old enough to know better at that point, but she'd just wait too long to go to bathroom. She'd pee a lot outside too, because she didn't want to come in to use the toilet!

[Four is Enough]

Oh, LOrd. Potty training. One, I thought at one time, was NEVER going to get it. We finally stopped the "big boy pants" (pull ups )completely because they apparently kept him dry enough that he was never uncomfortable.  Let me tell you, after about a week of wet underpants and sweat pants, he got it, and he did manage to go to college without diapers, LOL!

Two was JUST stubborn. He was approaching four, and it was summer, and we belonged to a pool club. He REALLY wanted to be in the "big" pool.. but I put on the sad face and told him that he couldn't go into the big pool as long as he wore those things. Two days was all it took. However, he'd just pee in the corner of his room rather than use the bathroom, which was right next door..

[Iamtheway]

On 3/25/2019 at 7:51 PM, twoandthrough said:

She is a spirited one for sure. Strong willed and knows what she wants when she wants it. 

I was just talking to my friend that has a very stubborn kid (two actually, but we were talking about one of them) and I told her that the things that are annoying them as parents now are the exact same things that are going to make that kid a successful adult. She will not take shit from anyone. 

On 3/26/2019 at 6:07 PM, viii said:

My best friend's daughter turns 9 tomorrow, and she still wets the bed. She'll go a week or two without an accident, and then suddenly boom. Her dad walked out of the family when she was 4, and so it was originally contributed to that, but she's a relatively happy, well adjusted 9 year old now. Would that still have an effect on her? I'm not sure what we can do different to give her success. We've tried lots of different methods with rewards and stuff. I don't believe she's wetting out of bad behaviour, or laziness. 

One of my friends wet the bed until she was a teenager. She was horribly embarrassed about it and never went on sleepovers when she was little. I’m pretty sure she got past it without any medicines or doctors though. When she was older it just stopped. 

[twoandthrough]

3 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

I was just talking to my friend that has a very stubborn kid (two actually, but we were talking about one of them) and I told her that the things that are annoying them as parents now are the exact same things that are going to make that kid a successful adult. She will not take shit from anyone. 

Exactly! I have to try really hard not to put out her fire sometimes, but I am always thinking she's going to change the world. My younger daughter isn't as feisty, and I do worry about her future sometimes just compared to the strong-willed one, but she does give me an easier time as a parent right now ?

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Jessa just put up a long post about redoing her living room. I think “I got rid of our coffee table” would have covered it.

[Carm_88]

Jessa did a minor redecoration of the living room and is going more minimalist. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

Selling some stuff and using the proceeds to buy more stuff is minimalist in what way?

Is she trying to be the Duggar version of Braggie?

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

Jessa did a minor redecoration of the living room and is going more minimalist. 

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

Jessa did a minor redecoration of the living room and is going more minimalist. 

 

Too bad the going minimalist couldn’t apply to the number of innocent children created and forced into the cult. Minimalist, what a joke.

[AtlanticTug]

That couch on the right always gives me the heebie jeebies. I don't even know why but I just think that it's a bacterial breeding ground.

[singsingsing]

I think it looks nice, but the total lack of tables seems pretty impractical.

[twoandthrough]

9 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I think it looks nice, but the total lack of tables seems pretty impractical.

After a few toddler bumps on the table, we got rid of ours in January of 2018 and haven't missed it a single time! It turns out, we were just using it to pile up stuff we didn't know what else to do with at that moment  

[singsingsing]

23 minutes ago, twoandthrough said:

After a few toddler bumps on the table, we got rid of ours in January of 2018 and haven't missed it a single time! It turns out, we were just using it to pile up stuff we didn't know what else to do with at that moment  

But that's the thing - where would I pile all my useless stuff?! 

But seriously, I thinking more like where do you put drinks down and stuff like that, especially if you have visitors. And toddlers that are going to knock over any glasses placed on the floor...

[Iamtheway]

2 hours ago, twoandthrough said:

After a few toddler bumps on the table, we got rid of ours in January of 2018 and haven't missed it a single time! It turns out, we were just using it to pile up stuff we didn't know what else to do with at that moment  

We don’t have one either and I don’t miss it. The room feels bigger and we can’t just pile up everything we own on it. There is a windowsill next to the sofa where I put cups and stuff (chocolate, books and yarn mostly) and if we need more we have a couple of stools that we use as minitables. 

[backyard sylph]

I enjoy her writing style. It's fairly clever and engaging and if I didn't know better, sounds like someone who's done a lot more reading than she has done, at least before she was married. 

And the minimalist thing can be baby steps, like the other changes we look forward to seeing in her life...

[Screamapillar]

My main take away from this is that she took two toddlers out to shop for paint at 7pm.