Maxwell 27: Increasing the Clan

[catlady]

2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

 skhoop skirt. 

Oh my Rufus, I never heard of these before but I want one in the worst way!!!  

[freethemall]

15 hours ago, Ticklish said:

 At home I'd just wear a sweatshirt, but I don't think we've ever seen a Maxwell in a sweatshirt which...why not? What is immodest about a sweatshirt? They don't all have logos on them. 

We've seen them in sweatshirts, here's Mary in the 12/31/18 post:

[LilMissMetaphor]

Christmas at the Maxwells (apologies to Procol Harum)

 

We hiked the 49er

Scrubbed fans, the walls, the floor

I was feeling kinda tired

But the crew called out for more

The room was spinning harder

As we exercised away

When I called out for another Pepsi

Our dad said not today

And so it was that later

When we saw Steve's breakfast fail

That our faces, first just ghostly,

Turned a whiter shade of pale

Steve said, there is no reason

And the truth is plain to see

So we had to entertain the littles

And read from KJV

One of three sweet vest-al virgins

Who were layering for the cold

And though at 4 am our eyes were open

They might just as well been closed

[bluelady]

New post up. I'm struggling to figure out why they waited 6+ months to post a positive review about a company with good customer service. Are they really that tied to the unholy schedule that they couldn't find *5 minutes* to say "hey, this is a great company with a great product and amazing service?" 

Or maybe they've realized they've posted the same crap over and over and are reaching for new material

[Lisafer]

15 hours ago, Odd1Out said:

Regarding wearing vests inside but going barefoot, I wonder if they have heated floors. I don’t know what the cost of that is each winter but I’m assuming they laid the tile themselves in their house to save money so maybe opted to also add the heating under the tile.  

Very good thought! You may be right. I've mostly heard of it used in bathrooms, but I could totally see the Maxwells doing the whole house. 

[freejugar]

2 hours ago, bluelady said:

New post up. I'm struggling to figure out why they waited 6+ months to post a positive review about a company with good customer service. Are they really that tied to the unholy schedule that they couldn't find *5 minutes* to say "hey, this is a great company with a great product and amazing service?" 

Or maybe they've realized they've posted the same crap over and over and are reaching for new material

They always post things super late. I think once they have an "interesting" post, they save it up for later, cause they are scared they will run out of content in the future. Srah is always promising posts that never happen.

[Ticklish]

5 hours ago, freethemall said:

We've seen them in sweatshirts, here's Mary in the 12/31/18 post:

Thank you! I must only remember the weird Maxwell outfits, and the sweatshirts are too normal ?

[MamaJunebug]

On 1/9/2019 at 5:26 PM, Jana814 said:

I have to agree with the pressure thing. They probably feel guilty if they are not able to have a home birth like the other women in the church. 

I’ve gotten the distinct impression that home-birthing is nearly as important doctrinally to these father-worshipers as is Home-schooling. 

7 hours ago, freejugar said:

They always post things super late. I think once they have an "interesting" post, they save it up for later, cause they are scared they will run out of content in the future. Srah is always promising posts that never happen.

Speaking of which — my FB video feed recently showed a tutorial on lettuce cutting with a pizza wheel!!!!!!111!!!

[CyborgKin]

On 1/9/2019 at 7:05 PM, Captain Obvious said:

Don't you just love mother-daughter matching outfits?

Sarah with that dangerously low plunging neckline!

On 1/10/2019 at 4:17 AM, Flossie said:

Why does the one in the middle look like she's smiling at you to make you think everything's OK while her eyes are sizing you up to figure out where to cut you?

That's the only way Sarah knows how to 'smile'.

On 1/10/2019 at 12:21 PM, Captain Obvious said:

”I Want A Girl With A Long Skirt and A Short Puffer Jacket” 

I want a girl with a mind like a bubble
I want a girl who believes what's best
I want a girl with shoes that hike
And eyes that read just holy texts

I want a girl with the right kind of doctrines
Who's pure, holy, but good in the sack
She's dusting all her fan blades
She's polishing the stove
She's touring in a minibus
And writing like a hack
I want a girl with a long skirt and a short puffer jacket

I want a girl who gets up to pray early
I want a girl who's never down
I want a girl with uninterrupted fecundity
Who uses a pizza cutter to cut through the frowns

With shirts that stack like sisters' bunk beds
And a smile that is forced like pro-life births
She's pure, holy, but good in the sack
She's touring in a minibus and writing like a hack
I want a girl with a long skirt and a short puffer jacket

I want a girl with a smooth chore rotation
I want a girl without meaty burritos
At the elderly home we meet without meeting
We start to court, I just talk with her dad

She wants a house that is close to her parents
She want a house just over there
She's changing her name
To match her new headship
She's breeding her dog just to grab easy cash
I want a girl with a long skirt and a short puffer jacket

 

[Hane]

@CyborgKin RULES!!!!!

[Captain Obvious]

4 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

Sarah with that dangerously low plunging neckline!

That's the only way Sarah knows how to 'smile'.

I want a girl with a mind like a bubble
I want a girl who believes what's best
I want a girl with shoes that hike
And eyes that read just holy texts

I want a girl with the right kind of doctrines
Who's pure, holy, but good in the sack
She's dusting all her fan blades
She's polishing the stove
She's touring in a minibus
And writing like a hack
I want a girl with a long skirt and a short puffer jacket

I want a girl who gets up to pray early
I want a girl who's never down
I want a girl with uninterrupted fecundity
Who uses a pizza cutter to cut through the frowns

With shirts that stack like sisters' bunk beds
And a smile that is forced like pro-life births
She's pure, holy, but good in the sack
She's touring in a minibus and writing like a hack
I want a girl with a long skirt and a short puffer jacket

I want a girl with a smooth chore rotation
I want a girl without meaty burritos
At the elderly home we meet without meeting
We start to court, I just talk with her dad

She wants a house that is close to her parents
She want a house just over there
She's changing her name
To match her new headship
She's breeding her dog just to grab easy cash
I want a girl with a long skirt and a short puffer jacket

 

This is spectacular. I’m now debating telling my husband my entire history of fundie watching, and all about the Maxwells (which he know nothing about) just so I can show him this post.

[CyborgKin]

I started writing "I need someone to do a complete Maxwell rewrite of the song" but then I realised I ought to do it myself since I've done this sort of thing occasionally for most of my time as an internet denizen.  (It helped that I know the song pretty well.  Long long ago before Google bought YouTube there was a music video mashup of the song set to scenes of Dr Janet Frasier from Stargate SG-1 that I rather enjoyed.  And it was the theme music for Chuck.)

My thing for rewriting song lyrics  probably goes back to my childhood when we rewrote the song "Anoint me with fresh oil, fill me Spirit of God, help me see thy purpose, understand all thy ways," into "Anoint me with fish oil, fill me spirit of cod, help me see thy porpoise, understand all thy waves."

I just wish there was more verses so I could fit in the half dozen or so other Maxwell memes that I wanted to include.  Like cheesepaper, bad photo captions, shoeboxes, and Lolly the clown.  Oh well.  At least I could turn my far too great knowledge of the Maxwells into something entertaining.  (Also I ended up with Short Skirt Long Jacket stuck in my head at church tonight )

[nomoxian]

On 1/11/2019 at 5:34 PM, Lisafer said:

Very good thought! You may be right. I've mostly heard of it used in bathrooms, but I could totally see the Maxwells doing the whole house. 

Mr. Nomoxian wants floor heating when we build a home. I'll take his word for it - and not because he's "my headship" but because I don't know anything about construction, but his family does.

[PennySycamore]

@nomoxian,  I'd love to have radiant in-floor heat when we renovate our sunroom.  We actually do have a radiant system now, but the idiots that built our house more than 50 years ago put in the ceiling.  It does no good there.  We've not used it in year (thank goodness) and we need to have it disconnected so it can't be tuned on by accident.  My elementary school had heated floors in the 60s.

[Fun-Dee]

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

@nomoxian,  I'd love to have radiant in-floor heat when we renovate our sunroom.  We actually do have a radiant system now, but the idiots that built our house more than 50 years ago put in the ceiling.  It does no good there.  We've not used it in year (thank goodness) and we need to have it disconnected so it can't be tuned on by accident.  My elementary school had heated floors in the 60s.

My parents house, that they had built more than 50 years ago, had radiant ceiling heat until they remodeled.  Yeah, it is pretty useless, because warm air rises.  At least we live in a mild climate.  At that time, the early 60's, they were talked into getting electric everything.  Heat, stove, water heater, etc..  They also have a well, since it's outside the city limits.  When the electricity goes out, they have nothing, not even water.  I'm not sure how it is now, but when I was growing up, the electric bills were huge.  I know this because my dad would always remind us!

[MamaJunebug]

Fascinating that the ceiling/floor hear debate comes up now. I just watched a video about a guy who built at tiny house for CDN$20,000 and was so proud of his ceiling heat idea. He said he would find the floor too hot and that because of so much of the floor bring covered by furniture & cabinetry, it wouldn’t heat as well. Didn’t sound good to me. 

What did sound good was his idea to have the bed crank down from the ceiling, rather than build it in a loft. Always good to have the bedroom & bathroom on the same floor... 

... except that the bed was 4-1/2’ off the floor and there was a step up into the bathroom. 

Which has nothing to do with the Maxills, but I’m glad to know I wasn’t the only one who looked askance at the heated-ceiling idea. 

[CyborgKin]

On 1/13/2019 at 8:11 PM, Captain Obvious said:

This is spectacular. I’m now debating telling my husband my entire history of fundie watching, and all about the Maxwells (which he know nothing about) just so I can show him this post.

I forgot to say: I consider this response a high honour!

[Ex 2x2]

Oh my gosh. Their new post on organizing is a new low on the boringness scale, even for them. If you have paint to watch dry, I’d highly suggest you do that instead!! 

[catlady]

That post makes them look like hoarders.  Have they ever mentioned Anna’s bike stash before?  

[Toothfairy]

I'm shocked they chose purple as their vests. Purple is like a happy color

[Foudeb]

I bet they watch Netflix and this is their response to Marie Kondo´s show. 

Which would make their anti-beast stance very hypocritical. 

[Lisafer]

That post had no substance. It could have been summed up as "Sometimes we reorganize on Saturdays." No how-to, no information, nothing. 

I still want to know why the women need two or three layers of shirts while Jesse is allowed to wear skin-tight UnderArmor that shows his pecs and nipples. Seriously.

[Coconutwater]

No happy birthday post for John? Right...extended family now*rolls eyes*

[Toothfairy]

On 12/18/2018 at 4:59 PM, usmcmom said:

Which is exactly why I bought several of these as Christmas gifts this year.  My son-in-law called it "The Ninja Scarf," when I told him I'd ordered one for my daughter. 

Off topic but this is genius. I need to buy one

[Coconutwater]

43 minutes ago, catlady said:

That post makes them look like hoarders.  Have they ever mentioned Anna’s bike stash before?  

This is what happens when you don’t let your kids move out, have a life, and be normal. It’s essentially 30+ years of six peoples things with nowhere to go.