Dillards 69 : Write Your Own Joke Here

[singsingsing]

10 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

For anyone curious, we now know the exact date the Dills started courting - November 22, 2013:

They were engaged on March 29, 2014 (4 months and one week later) and married on June 21, 2014 (almost exactly seven months later.) 

Huh. I went to update my spreadsheet and saw that I already had November 22nd down as their courtship date. But I have no idea where I got the information! 

[Flippp]

On 11/13/2018 at 1:35 PM, acheronbeach said:

I haven't seen Jill do anything adventurous since her flight came back from South America.  She clearly hated that adventure.  

Following your husband around while he's at school isn't adventurous, it's just sad.  The only logical explanations are because she distrusts him, or she's so lonely, or she really has nothing to call her own.  

That's not true! She went on a walk to Chick-Fil-A when she was in Colorado ?

[artdecades]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

For anyone curious, we now know the exact date the Dills started courting - November 22, 2013:

They were engaged on March 29, 2014 (4 months and one week later) and married on June 21, 2014 (almost exactly seven months later.) 

This is the other thing that makes me sad about Jill. She really got the short end of the stick compared to her siblings when it came to match ups.

They started courting in November, but Derick was in Nepal until January. Aside from that one week trip Jill and JB took, Jill and Derick were not even in the same country until January. So they spent time together IRL in January, engaged in March, married in June and pregnant immediately. Not even 6 months of actually knowing each other before a baby was on its way.

I am not going to compare that to Josh and Anna because that is just gross all around, but lets compare it to the other marrieds. 

The Forsythes and Caldwells have known the Duggars for years and their children spent time together

The Burnetts and the Swansons are ATI families and their children grew up with the same cultural references and activities as the Duggars. Even if they didn't know each other personally, they still could easily relate to one another.

Jessa and Ben courted for a year before marrying. Jinger and Jeremy courted for nearly a year and had almost another whole year without a child to know each other.

Jill rushed into marriage. She probably felt special being the first daughter to get married and have that attention but it blew up in her face.

[DundeeUnFundie]

I honestly do wonder how much of their courtship/wedding was Jill wanting to beat Jessa down the aisle. She seems like the kind of sister who would take it a bit personally that her younger sister was in a relationship before her, and having the show probably didn't help because she'd be the first girl married (and not just the attention of the show, but the attention of her father...)

[nastyhobbitses]

The old picture of them in Nepal is so jarring to see in comparison to now. Derick was a dorky-cute hippie missionary with a Real College Degree who was going to show Jill the woooooooorld (shining, shimmering, splendid). Jill had life and spark in her eyes, and her smile reached her eyes. Damn, Central America, what happened? 

[ElToro]

2 kids happened, that's what. Pre kids, even I was youthful and sprightly... now I'm just a withered shell... 

[luv2laugh]

Honestly, I think Jill simply became more comfortable and doesn’t see the need to always do hair & make-up 24/7. She is either at home (or tagging along with Derrick) and there’s no point in her making the effort to get dolled up each day. I also think that she has been through a lot over the years and burnt out. Before Derrick, Jill was being filmed a lot and I think the pressure of that and competition between her sisters caused them to do hair and make-up all the time.

[Daisy0322]

3 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

The old picture of them in Nepal is so jarring to see in comparison to now. Derick was a dorky-cute hippie missionary with a Real College Degree who was going to show Jill the woooooooorld (shining, shimmering, splendid). Jill had life and spark in her eyes, and her smile reached her eyes. Damn, Central America, what happened? 

Central America definitely seems like it was a turning point for them. There's a ton of speculation but honestly I think they just got to know each other better and found out they don't actually like each other. You can't try get to know someone in that type of courtship environment that quickly. 

[luv2laugh]

Jill overdoes it with the “best hubby ever” posts. On Instagram, she did it again with a pic of Derrick vacuuming while she feeds the kids lunch. It’s almost like she’s trying to force something that’s not there.

[nickelodeon]

I wonder why she put "courting" in quotes.

[WarriorJane]

1 hour ago, Daisy0322 said:

Central America definitely seems like it was a turning point for them. There's a ton of speculation but honestly I think they just got to know each other better and found out they don't actually like each other. You can't try get to know someone in that type of courtship environment that quickly. 

"Familiarity breeds contempt."

[freethemall]

7 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

I wonder why she put "courting" in quotes.

I noticed that too. Either she's deliberately trying to validate the TLC timeline but is showing it might have been different in reality, or it means nothing and it's just her strange use of quotation marks.

[VBOY9977]

9 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Huh. I went to update my spreadsheet and saw that I already had November 22nd down as their courtship date. But I have no idea where I got the information! 

Derick made an Instagram post on that date 3 years ago, that’s where you got it. 

 

[Iamtheway]

She was a sheltered girl in a huge family that suddenly got this amazing romantic adventure where she got to travel alone with her dad to the other side of the world to meet a cute boy that wanted to marry her. That does sound like a bit of a dream for any girl and was probably everything she had prayed for her whole life. She was a wife and a mother stuck with a husband she didn’t really know before the glow faded.

[OyToTheVey]

I see it with people I know IRL too. On Instagram and facebook they rant and rave how much they love their husbands and best blah blah blah ever. But since I know them IRL I know the behind the scenes. It always seems like the ones who post best whatever are the ones overcompensating the most. I've even witnessed it first hand, my small group of girl friends try to get together for brunch once a month to catch up. Unlimited drinks and girl talk, good for the soul. We used to have this girl in our group who would post the most outrageous best brunch ever IG stories. Meanwhile she's sitting next to me on her phone almost never saying a word and not an actual participating brunch member. 

I think the reason people are more accepting of Jessa or Jinger is because they don't actually claim to be the best or have the best hubby. Jill is just too much to handle. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

She used quotation marks because SOTDRT.

[artdecades]

2 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

She was a sheltered girl in a huge family that suddenly got this amazing romantic adventure where she got to travel alone with her dad to the other side of the world to meet a cute boy that wanted to marry her. That does sound like a bit of a dream for any girl and was probably everything she had prayed for her whole life. She was a wife and a mother stuck with a husband she didn’t really know before the glow faded.

Yep. This is the girl whose favorite book was Before You Meet Prince Charming. She bought into the fairy tale romance idea and it does seem like a fairy tale romance to someone sheltered as her. 

[singsingsing]

I think she probably used quotation marks because “courting” is now passé with a lot of this crowd and they prefer ‘dating with a purpose’. 

[artdecades]

Ok, now that I have armchair analyzed Jill, lets move on to Derick.

I think Nepal was the best time in Derick's life. He was on a high from graduating college, had no responsibilities, and could live out his white savior colonialist fantasies (just look at the name of his blog "himalayan cowboy"). He didn't understand that the post college freedom had to end and real life had to begin. He saw an opportunity with the Duggars to keep it going. And why not. He had a fantasy about a submissive, meek helpmeet who would cook him meals and have sex with him. Plus, with the death of his father and his mother's remarriage, he wanted to recreate what he lost. He probably also didn't realize how hard having kids actually was and just thought of the idea of having kids and how great it would be just like his idealized vision of having a wife. When he got back to the states and had to work a real, office job, reality started hitting. He wanted to reclaim his fun and free time from Nepal so he dragged his wife and infant son to Central America to play the white savior colonialist fantasy again. But this time, there was responsibilities and bills and medical stuff. Having a wife and kids relying on him turned out to be work. Despite being an accountant, I don't think he really considered the expenses and responsibilities expected of him. Thats why we have gotten his bitter comments about being a "volunteer" or expecting sam's medical bills to be paid.

When he failed out of Central America, he was lost and tried different things to figure out what he wanted to do. Right now he is in law school and I hope he is happy but I am not sure.

[Carm_88]

39 minutes ago, artdecades said:

When he failed out of Central America, he was lost and tried different things to figure out what he wanted to do. Right now he is in law school and I hope he is happy but I am not sure.

I don't think so. Happiness comes from within and Derick holds too much hate. I feel like he's always going to be searching for the next best thing because this will make him happy and that will make him happy. When his happiness depends on him.

[VelociRapture]

13 hours ago, artdecades said:

This is the other thing that makes me sad about Jill. She really got the short end of the stick compared to her siblings when it came to match ups.

They started courting in November, but Derick was in Nepal until January. Aside from that one week trip Jill and JB took, Jill and Derick were not even in the same country until January. So they spent time together IRL in January, engaged in March, married in June and pregnant immediately. Not even 6 months of actually knowing each other before a baby was on its way.

I am not going to compare that to Josh and Anna because that is just gross all around, but lets compare it to the other marrieds. 

The Forsythes and Caldwells have known the Duggars for years and their children spent time together

The Burnetts and the Swansons are ATI families and their children grew up with the same cultural references and activities as the Duggars. Even if they didn't know each other personally, they still could easily relate to one another.

Jessa and Ben courted for a year before marrying. Jinger and Jeremy courted for nearly a year and had almost another whole year without a child to know each other.

Jill rushed into marriage. She probably felt special being the first daughter to get married and have that attention but it blew up in her face.

 Here’s what I recall of the relationship timelines for the three sisters who didn’t grow up with or in the same culture as their husbands:

- Derick met the Duggars around Christmas time in 2011. He left for Nepal in January of 2012 and became prayer biffles with Jim Bob. Jim Bob would occasionally have Jill listen to his phone conversations with Derick over the next year or so. Jill and Derick first briefly spoke on the phone (at the suggestion of Jim Bob) in March of 2013. They didn’t speak again for a long time. Derick got the ok to get to know her sometime that August, they started courting in November, were engaged in March 2014, and married in June. So officially they were together for just under seven months, but unofficially they were getting to know each other for closer to ten months.

- I believe that Ben first came into the picture in late 2012. He got permission to talk to Jessa shortly before his birthday (May 19) in 2013, their courtship was announced in early September, they were engaged in August 2014, and they married in November. Official relationship was around 14 months, but unofficially it was closer to 17 or 18 months.

- Jeremy first came onto the scene in the fall of 2015 after he met Benessa, who were referred to him by a mutual friend while they were visiting Texas for a conference. He seems to have first met the extended family around the time of Jessa’s baby shower that October. He didn’t get permission to talk with Jinger until the mission trip he went on with the Duggars that December, they began courting in May of 2016*, were engaged in July, and married in November. So their official relationship was just over five months, but unofficially it was closer to ten or eleven months. 

*Someone saw a photo of a sign at Jinger’s bridal shower that listed a date in late May as the start of their courtship. 

So the Dills were actually officially courting longer than JinJer were. I think you’re right though that JinJer definitely benefited from being in the same country and having that first year of marriage childfree (whether by choice or not.) They likely also have benefited from being more settled than the Dills - there’s been no bouncing between countries or jobs for the Vuolos.

[artdecades]

9 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

 Here’s what I recall of the relationship timelines for the three sisters who didn’t grow up with or in the same culture as their husbands:

- Derick met the Duggars around Christmas time in 2011. He left for Nepal in January of 2012 and became prayer biffles with Jim Bob. Jim Bob would occasionally have Jill listen to his phone conversations with Derick over the next year or so. Jill and Derick first briefly spoke on the phone (at the suggestion of Jim Bob) in March of 2013. They didn’t speak again for a long time. Derick got the ok to get to know her sometime that August, they started courting in November, were engaged in March 2014, and married in June. So officially they were together for just under seven months, but unofficially they were getting to know each other for closer to ten months.

- I believe that Ben first came into the picture in late 2012. He got permission to talk to Jessa shortly before his birthday (May 19) in 2013, their courtship was announced in early September, they were engaged in August 2014, and they married in November. Official relationship was around 14 months, but unofficially it was closer to 17 or 18 months.

- Jeremy first came onto the scene in the fall of 2015 after he met Benessa, who were referred to him by a mutual friend while they were visiting Texas for a conference. He seems to have first met the extended family around the time of Jessa’s baby shower that October. He didn’t get permission to talk with Jinger until the mission trip he went on with the Duggars that December, they began courting in May of 2016*, were engaged in July, and married in November. So their official relationship was just over five months, but unofficially it was closer to ten or eleven months. 

 *Someone saw a photo of a sign at Jinger’s bridal shower that listed a date in late May as the start of their courtship. 

So the Dills were actually officially courting longer than JinJer were. I think you’re right though that JinJer definitely benefited from being in the same country and having that first year of marriage childfree (whether by choice or not.) They likely also have benefited from being more settled than the Dills - there’s been no bouncing between countries or jobs for the Vuolos.

I was going off of Fundamentalists wiki which said that Jeremy asked to "get to know her more seriously" in December 2015 and they officially announced they were courting in May 2016. I guess it depends on if you consider the "getting to know each other" part of the courting or not.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

- Derick met the Duggars around Christmas time in 2011. He left for Nepal in January of 2012 and became prayer biffles with Jim Bob. Jim Bob would occasionally have Jill listen to his phone conversations with Derick over the next year or so. Jill and Derick first briefly spoke on the phone (at the suggestion of Jim Bob) in March of 2013.

So JB didn't just okay this relationship, he orchestrated it.

I agree with something @Palimpsest recently said, that JB has always come off as shrewd to me as well.   Shrewd enough I am surprised he didn't pick up red flags from Derek and protect Jill (both as his daughter and his investment) better.

 

[VelociRapture]

2 minutes ago, artdecades said:

I was going off of Fundamentalists wiki which said that Jeremy asked to "get to know her more seriously" in December 2015 and they officially announced they were courting in May 2016. I guess it depends on if you consider the "getting to know each other" part of the courting or not.

I know you were counting them that way. I just wanted to point out that both couples were together “unofficially” for almost the same amount of time prior to marriage. I think JinJer were together longer, but only by a week or two. 

JinJer also didn’t announce their courtship immediately. It was made public in (I believe) late June. The Dills, on the other hand, didn’t announce their courtship until they were already engaged. They’re the only Duggar couple so far who managed to keep their relationship a secret that long. I am kind of curious as to why they handled it that way and if they would have kept the other relationships quiet if they could have.

Another interesting comparison is that JinJer was also long distance for their entire relationship, whereas the Dills were only long distance for part of their’s. I’d guess that JinJer were likely able to see and speak with each other on a more regular basis than the Dills did while Derick was in Nepal.  I don’t know what internet or phone service was like for the area he was in, but I’d guess that could have possibly played a role somehow. 

16 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

So JB didn't just okay this relationship, he orchestrated it.

I agree with something @Palimpsest recently said, that JB has always come off as shrewd to me as well.   Shrewd enough I am surprised he didn't pick up red flags from Derek and protect Jill (both as his daughter and his investment) better.

 

I’d agree with this assessment. I don’t think Jill would have crossed paths with Derick at that time had it not been for her father. From what I remember, he talked to Jill about Derick a bit and allowed her to listen in on their conversations (I don’t believe Derick knew that at the time, which is kind of shitty of Jim Bob.) Jill claims not to have noticed Derick when he first showed up at the TTH with a groups of carolers in 2011 and she claims not to have been sure about whether she was interested in him or not. That could all very well be true, but it could also just be her IBLP background coming into play - I believe several other IBLP couples have spouted similar “We didn’t notice each other until God laid it on our hearts...” story as the Dills have. 

[nausicaa]

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

I think she probably used quotation marks because “courting” is now passé with a lot of this crowd and they prefer ‘dating with a purpose’. 

Still sad "dourting" never caught on ?