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Real Life Fundie Encounters: Part 5


Coconut Flan

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2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

OH MY GOD LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN THE CHARITY SHOP I VOLUNTEER FOR!!

A268A4C9-36ED-4AC4-8789-C0A173EDE704.thumb.jpeg.51925abf6875a621dfd09bb9cba5d629.jpeg

Burn it with fire!

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5 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

OH MY GOD LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN THE CHARITY SHOP I VOLUNTEER FOR!!

A268A4C9-36ED-4AC4-8789-C0A173EDE704.thumb.jpeg.51925abf6875a621dfd09bb9cba5d629.jpeg

I hope you recycled it!

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I really should have done but I didn’t. I go in again on Thursday so will deal with it then. I did similar with a copy of Babywise. I took it home and put it in the bin.

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8 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

OH MY GOD LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN THE CHARITY SHOP I VOLUNTEER FOR!!

A268A4C9-36ED-4AC4-8789-C0A173EDE704.thumb.jpeg.51925abf6875a621dfd09bb9cba5d629.jpeg

KILL IT WITH FIRE

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2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I really should have done but I didn’t. I go in again on Thursday so will deal with it then. I did similar with a copy of Babywise. I took it home and put it in the bin.

Do you have access to a shredder?  That's what I do with the Pearl's and Shamblin books I find.

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I don’t have a shredder, but I could burn it... 

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I guess it still counts as a Fundy encounter, I had two JW's come to the door of my office this morning.  They were both women, dressed nicely and the were very polite.  They gave me a brochure and then were more interested in the flowering bush that is planted in front of the office than actually proselytizing to me.

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5 hours ago, Briefly said:

I guess it still counts as a Fundy encounter, I had two JW's come to the door of my office this morning.  They were both women, dressed nicely and the were very polite.  They gave me a brochure and then were more interested in the flowering bush that is planted in front of the office than actually proselytizing to me.

LOL I was always getting into trouble for being more interested in talking about people's pets and plants when we had to go door knocking. 

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53 minutes ago, EowynW said:

LOL I was always getting into trouble for being more interested in talking about people's pets and plants when we had to go door knocking. 

A couple years ago, one of the local JWs wanted to know where I got my mulch for the front yard... ? I'm polite to the JWs, although I'd have no problem telling them to fuck off if they were rude. I feel bad for them, mostly.

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2 hours ago, EowynW said:

LOL I was always getting into trouble for being more interested in talking about people's pets and plants when we had to go door knocking. 

Betcha you could open up more of a door to talk to folks if you actually show an interest in them as opposed to shoving s tract in their face and preaching at them.

I think I’ve told my JW story but they came while I was on maternity leave when they knew I was home they kept coming... I was polite like 4 times... the last time I opened the door full breasts exposed with the baby breast feeding. They finally took the hint (no children visited my home!)

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I was staying with a client this passed weekend. 2 JW came to the door. I told them I wasn’t the homeowner & they left. 

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2 hours ago, Lisafer said:

A couple years ago, one of the local JWs wanted to know where I got my mulch for the front yard... ? I'm polite to the JWs, although I'd have no problem telling them to fuck off if they were rude. I feel bad for them, mostly.

They generally are nice, one of the women casually handed me the tract about their Easter observance on Saturday but she really didn't say anything about it other than asking if she could give it to me.  The other woman may have been her mother, she really liked the blooming hedge at the office and she talked about it a lot.  I'm not totally convinced they really wanted to be doing the door-to-door thing, actually.

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4 hours ago, Jana814 said:

I was staying with a client this passed weekend. 2 JW came to the door. I told them I wasn’t the homeowner & they left. 

I wasn't as fortunate when some JWs caught me while petsitting. I was stuck at the door for about 10 minutes, trying to keep the dog from getting out, before I got assertive enough to shoo them away. I always felt obliged to answer the door when I was petsitting, as part of taking care of my client's house. At home I just don't answer the door unless I know the person or they're wearing a uniform. (Preferably a pizza delivery uniform, but I'd open the door for a firefighter or a police officer, too. :pb_wink: )

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  • 2 weeks later...

My fundie niece is only a 4 month old fetus and already my brother is complaining about not being able to find modest clothes for her. Heaven forbid a baby/toddler wear a sleeveless dress. ? 

 

 

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@EowynW What do fundies have against cardigans? A sweet little cardigan (or a thin cotton shrug in the summer) is the simple, perfect modesty solution. I just don't understand. 

ETA: Of course I don't understand why infants and toddlers, or women of any age, have to be modest, so there's that.

 

Edited by FeministShrew
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3 minutes ago, FeministShrew said:

@EowynW What do fundies have against cardigans? A sweet little cardigan (or a thin cotton shrug in the summer) is the simple, perfect modesty solution. I just don't understand. 

 

Oh they love cardigans. That's what they use to make dresses modest. He said they were going to put them on her. But it's the fact that they are considering girl's arms and shoulders sexual and immodest from birth that is so Irritating. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

The fact that they think they should have to think of ways to prevent their fellow church parishioners from being aroused by any part of an infants body should be deeply disturbing to them.  It makes me sick how this whole worldview I think makes children more vulnerable to predation within those churches because that kind of fetish is kust normalized and people taking "prevention" to extremes are lauded!!

 

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I grew up fairly fundie, but even my parents had no problem with taking shampoo mohawk pictures of the baby in the tub or letting the toddler who refused to get dressed run around in a diaper at home.

However, my fundie best friends' family* wore headcoverings from the mom to the infant.  They were always seen as holier than my headcovering-less family...

*Per the Malleys, your siblings are your best friends, but you can find a loophole if your entire family is friends with another entire family.

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@EmmaWoodhouse May I ask how the fundie family friends worked?  Did it start because your parents and their parents liked each other at church and approved of their godly child-rearing ways? Did you ever have to defend your non-head covering to their family? Did you get to play with all the kids or just the girls, and were there additional divisions by age? Did your parents ever say anything remotely negative about the other family, even just "little Johnny sure was rambunctious today"? Sorry if this is too personal - then just ignore!

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5 hours ago, neurogirl said:

@EmmaWoodhouse May I ask how the fundie family friends worked?  Did it start because your parents and their parents liked each other at church and approved of their godly child-rearing ways? Did you ever have to defend your non-head covering to their family? Did you get to play with all the kids or just the girls, and were there additional divisions by age? Did your parents ever say anything remotely negative about the other family, even just "little Johnny sure was rambunctious today"? Sorry if this is too personal - then just ignore!

@neurogirl Happy to answer :) We both went to the same small church, so it was pretty natural for our families to become friends.  I never remember having to defend my non-covering head, but my dad may have had to.  The way the other family saw the issue, it was completely up to the patriarch whether you wore a head-covering or not, so I was never confronted on the issue.  Due to the age-gender pairings in our two families, we all happened to have closer personal friends, but going off alone with just one friend was frowned upon. 

My parents never talked negatively about the other family's kids, but the other family frequently trash-talked other families in our community (so-and-so's clothing is too tight, that family doesn't have a tight enough leash on their teenaged son, etc.).   My family moved when I was a tween and my parents started coming out of fundamentalism.  But whenever the other family would come to town, my mom's stress ramped up.  Everyone had to behave perfectly.  No one wanted to risk their judgment if we were less than "perfect."

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On 5/12/2019 at 7:03 PM, EmmaWoodhouse said:

I grew up fairly fundie, but even my parents had no problem with taking shampoo mohawk pictures of the baby in the tub or letting the toddler who refused to get dressed run around in a diaper at home.

However, my fundie best friends' family* wore headcoverings from the mom to the infant.  They were always seen as holier than my headcovering-less family...

*Per the Malleys, your siblings are your best friends, but you can find a loophole if your entire family is friends with another entire family.

Muslims , among others , have faced the same issue , regarding the controversy surrounding veiling girls from a young age .   https://www.scribd.com/doc/288823520/Veiling-Young-Girls-Must-Be-Banned  ,  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2010/nov/23/muslim-girls-wearing-hijab  I have been living around one of Ohio's Amish settlements , so I have seen this among such Christians firsthand .  Not only are they expected to keep their hair rolled up in a bun , even from a very young age , like even their baby girls will typically have their hair put up in bunches , rather than allowing it to fall loose  , but they are also encouraged to wear a head covering as well .  I supposed that this is to get them conditioned from a young age to accept the constraints placed upon their hair , under the social pressure of the community of faith .  But I also know , from having met , and befriended at the time a young woman whom was at the time Beachy Amish-Mennonite , that a number of such girls feel self conscious about just how quaint they appear to others , even relative to other conservative evangelicals .  And as it so happens , she herself no longer observes the rules governing  appearance . I am not sure where she attends church , but she doesn't look Amish-Mennonite anymore.   I think that all people naturally long to be free , and that includes literally the right to let their hair down , if they so choose .  And Conservative Holiness , and Amish-Mennonites , among other plain and semi-plain people don't like being viewed and stigmatized as being a public spectacle , anymore than any of us would . They just wish that others would get to know who they are on the inside , rather than make assumptions about them based on how they look on the outside .  But , especially since they have increasingly been getting confused with certain sects that are seen as being cults , such as namely the FLDS , I predict that such a dress code of "sanctified appearance " will decline , the more integrated that the women become with the surrounding society , as my friend did when she competed in softball games , as well as volleyball matches , which incidentally was where I first met her .  Plus , as an aside , the Amish first got the idea for their peculiar garb from the Quakers , and virtually all present day Friends no longer hold to such a distinctive fashion .   

Edited by Marmion
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  • 4 weeks later...


My kids' 17 year old stepbrother shared this meme last week:

Spoiler

61692570_2935028743208573_519097817638109184_n.jpg.cdae7ae7ca4602c153735852fea37150.jpg

 His fundie, Dugggar/Bates - humping mom commented:
"Delete this. It sounds terrible and it’s sending an untrue message."
He has not deleted it in over a week.

She & my ex have tried their best to isolate & control her two kids. They homeschool & homechurch, but did allow him to get a job at a grocery store. He's spending more & more time with his older stepsiblings, so I'm hoping he breaks free & runs for the hills the minute he turns 18.
ETA: that's not his Facebook, btw, just part of the meme.

Edited by FeministShrew
add clarification
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3 hours ago, FeministShrew said:


My kids' 17 year old stepbrother shared this meme last week:

  Hide contents

61692570_2935028743208573_519097817638109184_n.jpg.cdae7ae7ca4602c153735852fea37150.jpg

 His fundie, Dugggar/Bates - humping mom commented:
"Delete this. It sounds terrible and it’s sending an untrue message."
He has not deleted it in over a week.

She & my ex have tried their best to isolate & control her two kids. They homeschool & homechurch, but did allow him to get a job at a grocery store. He's spending more & more time with his older stepsiblings, so I'm hoping he breaks free & runs for the hills the minute he turns 18.
ETA: that's not his Facebook, btw, just part of the meme.

Although in general I feel that we shouldn't ostracize based on personal differences , sometimes like this person's video points out , for our own sake it is called for .    

 

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So I thought I had a real life fundie encounter...I saw a car with a sticker on the back window that said "Nurie"!  I got all excited about another Nurie in the world?  Or a JRod fan?  Got closer and realized it didn't say "Nurie" - it said "Nurse".  Boy was I disappointed!

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I come across fundies pretty regularly and I don’t post about them. However I did come in contact with some little fundie girls recently. We were at a splash pad wading pool and it was very busy with children and parents. Three little girls with very typical fundie names and hair that’s never been cut were wading in the worst modest swimming clothes I’ve ever seen! I have no idea where they got them but the skirts were crazy long (well past their knees) and the leggings underneath went all the way to their ankles. Their swimming shirts were short sleeves so they were fine. I felt bad because those skirts looked so heavy and annoying. But they still seemed to have fun. Their swimwear was what I picture the Maxwell’s wear. 

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