Gwen Shamblin 4: Lick the Fork

[Alisamer]

Gwen's way too old for the Trumpster. I'm not betting yet on whether Melania is under contract until after his term in the White House or if she's desperately holding out hope he'll die before divorcing her so she can inherit. 

[Curious]

16 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Who was that blogger who never ate the last bites of food because they were saving it for Jesus? This reminded me of that. 

That was Meridith Alexander.  She used to eat around the good bits in her ice cream and save them for last, then decided not to eat them but save them for God or whatever.

[formergothardite]

Today Gwen wants people to be spend the day being thankful for the Weigh Down program. 

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Gather your family and take a good long look at each other, and then walk through your homes and really look at all that God has given. Think back before you took Weigh Down and remember how different it all was. The food rules, the no-calorie tasteless foods, the fat-gram counting…compare your old pictures to your new smaller, healthier, more energetic self! 

 

6 hours ago, Curious said:

That was Meridith Alexander.  She used to eat around the good bits in her ice cream and save them for last, then decided not to eat them but save them for God or whatever.

You would think God could get his own ice cream. 

[CTRLZero]

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Gather your family and take a good long look at each other, and then walk through your homes and really look at all that God has given.

Yay for material goods and the growl!  Gwen would take several days to walk through all her real estate holdings and be thankful that she has so many people willing to buy into her system. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all FJers who participate!  ????

[SilverBeach]

Gwen Shamblin uses the absurd hair and cryptkeeper makeup to distinguish herself as the one and only RF cult leader. This is her signature look that elevates her and sets her apart. She changed her devotional because she wants to look less cult like after recent unflattering exposure of what RF really is. Can't keep rolling in fresh meat and their money if people know up front that they are joining a cult. Gwen Shamblin is a cult leader, defender of child abusers/killers, and a reprehensible piece of work.

Enjoy your day everyone, and EAT, EAT, EAT!

[RFfree]

But wouldn't a submissive wife sign her name second? ?‍♀️

[sleepy_doggos]

Gwen's way too old for the Trumpster. I'm not betting yet on whether Melania is under contract until after his term in the White House or if she's desperately holding out hope he'll die before divorcing her so she can inherit. 

I bet she's waiting until Barron's 18 or he leaves her for someone younger.

[LovelyLuna]

Tarzan's face cracks me up.   Gwen looks like some strange humanized robot android.  Like they tried to make it look human but failed miserably and ending up with something frightening instead.  The post says the wedding will be steamed live, dose that mean anyone can watch? 

I just realized I am being hypocritical because I don’t like talking about people's bodies/looks, but I don’t give a damn. 

[RFsurvivor]

2 minutes ago, LovelyLuna said:

 The post says the wedding will be steamed live, dose that mean anyone can watch? 

If I remember correctly, you have to give an email and some other info to watch as a guest. 

[SecularMusic]

1 minute ago, LovelyLuna said:

Tarzan's face cracks me up.   Gwen looks like some strange humanized robot android.  Like they tried to make it look human but failed miserably and ending up with something frightening instead.  The post says the wedding will be steamed live, dose that mean anyone can watch? 

I just realized I am being hypocritical because I don’t like talking about people's bodies/looks, but I don’t give a damn. 

That dress is hideous. I can't imagine any place where it would be considered stylish unless she put herself into a time machine and went back to the 80s

[LovelyLuna]

24 minutes ago, RFsurvivor said:

If I remember correctly, you have to give an email and some other info to watch as a guest. 

yeah, I'm not doing that... Its bad enough that I like/follow fundie pages with a fake Facebook.  But thank you for the info ❤️

[SuperNova]

54 minutes ago, LovelyLuna said:

Tarzan's face cracks me up.   Gwen looks like some strange humanized robot android.  Like they tried to make it look human but failed miserably and ending up with something frightening instead.  The post says the wedding will be steamed live, dose that mean anyone can watch? 

I just realized I am being hypocritical because I don’t like talking about people's bodies/looks, but I don’t give a damn. 

Tarzan has Defcon 1 crazy eye. Anyone watching tomorrow's wedding stream should watch to see if he blinks out "help me" in Morse Code. He honestly looks like he just realized that he's made a huuuge mistake. Any bets on how long we think he'll be able to stay with his tax shelter....I mean, his wife?

[JermajestyDuggar]

Of course Gwen had to wear a sparkly gold dress just like the bride! I’m sure that was taken at their blessing shower. That weird RF tradition of dressing up and giving a billion speeches about the couple about to be married. But Gwen had to try and upstage the bride. No surprise there. 

[AliceInFundyland]

 

On 11/24/2018 at 5:45 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Of course Gwen had to wear a sparkly gold dress just like the bride! I’m sure that was taken at their blessing shower. That weird RF tradition of dressing up and giving a billion speeches about the couple about to be married. But Gwen had to try and upstage the bride. No surprise there. 

Yeah this. You can really see her desire to be every bride in that photo. Which is all cult weirdness and no religion. It reminds me of that one woman that legend said was purported to bathe in the blood of virgins [Countess Elizabeth of Bathory?]  It’s all Gwen’s wedding. ?

[formergothardite]

Gwen is back to giving really shitty advice and calling it a devotional. She is still backing off using the term "growl", but I bet she doesn't realize how this advice sounds to people outside her cult. 

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Starting today, find a friend who is a “thin eater” and observe their eating behavior. They will turn food down – yes, even holiday office treats are passed by effortlessly if they are not hungry! They never spend time dreaming about or longing for food. Sometimes, they even have to be reminded to eat, much like the way children have to be told to put the toys down and come to the meal. YOU can do this too! Lose interest in the “eating” portion of your day and transfer that energy to God. 

So basically find someone who doesn't eat and try to not eat like they do. Is "thin eater" a code for has an eating disorder?

The next daily devotional is about how life is a job interview. I have never heard it phrased this way but she says it is a job interview where you work for the right boss so you can be born again. 

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We have a 70-year job interview on Earth, and by grace, if we work for the right boss, we will be hired by the right boss. To be born again—to have a whole new life—you have to stop working for yourself, stop working for evil and evil desires, and work for the One Good Boss, 

And today's devotional reminds us that if we just start cutting out food we will stop wanting food. 

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the LESS you eat, the LESS you will want! This is true for shopping, for alcohol, for drugs, or for self-indulgent hours in the day. “More” is not necessarily better, and in fact, greed feels horrible! Of course, you have to obtain what your body calls for – but then STOP the minute you have had enough of sleep, food, shopping, alcohol, talking, etc.

I'm guessing Gwen doesn't believe in addictions? 

[luv2laugh]

On 11/23/2018 at 10:48 PM, LovelyLuna said:

Tarzan's face cracks me up.   Gwen looks like some strange humanized robot android.  Like they tried to make it look human but failed miserably and ending up with something frightening instead.  The post says the wedding will be steamed live, dose that mean anyone can watch? 

I just realized I am being hypocritical because I don’t like talking about people's bodies/looks, but I don’t give a damn. 

I am in shock and awe of how she gets her hair that high.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

56 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

We have a 70-year job interview on Earth, and by grace, if we work for the right boss, we will be hired by the right boss. To be born again—to have a whole new life—you have to stop working for yourself, stop working for evil and evil desires, and work for the One Good Boss, 

Oh FFS.  I am getting ready for a job interview now and have another tomorrow ... if life was like this all the time I'd have found a roof to jump off of ages ago.

And I have to be reminded to eat and I was ALWAYS the one turning down food at work because I don't eat unless I am hungry and really want that particular thing ... does that make me a thin eater despite that it fucks with my metabolism so it's actually much harder to lose weight than when I eat properly at regular intervals throughout the day.

Should I ask the interviewer today if he is the embodiment of my evil desires or my One Good Boss?

 

[smittykins]

Good luck with the interview, @HerNameIsBuffy!

I wonder if Gwen was inspired by the 1965 Slumber Party Barbie set.  The accessories included a toy scale set permanently at 110 pounds(underweight for a real woman with Barbie's proportions)and a book titled "How To Lose Weight" with just one tip:  "Don't Eat!"

(Reportedly, the scale was omitted the next year, but the book remained through at least 1967.)

[SJWaterford]

3 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Oh FFS.  I am getting ready for a job interview now and have another tomorrow ... if life was like this all the time I'd have found a roof to jump off of ages ago.

And I have to be reminded to eat and I was ALWAYS the one turning down food at work because I don't eat unless I am hungry and really want that particular thing ... does that make me a thin eater despite that it fucks with my metabolism so it's actually much harder to lose weight than when I eat properly at regular intervals throughout the day.

Should I ask the interviewer today if he is the embodiment of my evil desires or my One Good Boss?

 

Good luck with your interview today and tomorrow. They are always nerve racking!

70 years? Isn't she in her mid 60's anyways? So does the mean that her interview is almost over? 

[LovelyLuna]

3 hours ago, SJWaterford said:

70 years? Isn't she in her mid 60's anyways? So does the mean that her interview is almost over? 

I found that odd as well, I believe she is 65.  While the age people die varies, I wouldn’t put such a limit on it when I was 5 years away from that age if I wasn’t already ill.  Starvation limits your lifespan I’m sure, but even then it’s such an odd thing to say.  

[Hane]

Regarding weight loss in seniors: In the wake of Carrie Fisher’s untimely death, there was speculation that she had been under pressure to lose weight for her final Star Wars movie. It was pointed out that rapid forced weight gain can put stress on the hearts (and electrolyte balance) of older people.

PS: I heart Carrie. I was in the front row of her one-woman show “Wishful Drinking” in Hartford several years ago. She pulled me out of the audience onto the stage for some reason (I was so star struck I can’t remember why), and stuck a clove cigarette down my cleavage (she was explaining that was the only kind allowed in Hollywood on movie sets). I still have it packed away somewhere.

[formergothardite]

Gwen has dived off the deep end and is rambling about God not being on the news in her daily devotional. 

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 I would love to hear a newscaster say, “And the hand of God spared this person from a fatal accident today.”

Well then wouldn't it also be "The hand of God let five people die in a terrible car accident today." or "The hand of God did not protect the small child from being beaten to death by a relative."  or "God is letting a serial killer run rampant."

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 It also makes me mad that God is not on the weather channel every night! Can you imagine hearing the weatherman say, “And God did something new again. We guessed that it was going to rain today, but God decided to bring sunshine instead. What a God of surprises He is! And did anyone see the sunset He painted yesterday? He outdid Himself yet again!”

Again it would also mean that we would get "Wow, God really surprised us with that tornado that killed 15 people and destroyed the homes of countless others."

or

"God decided to keep denying the drought ridden places rain and is also sending heavy rain to locations that are currently already under flood waters."

That is how it works Gwen. If we gave God the credit for everything on the news it wouldn't sound so great. 

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Why is God not given credit in all the science books and research and news programs? 

Because belief in God is a matter of faith and not science? 

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Oh, don’t even get me started! My whole soul flares up within me when I get on this subject.

Why don't you go channel some of that anger in your soul into helping those less fortunate than you, Gwen? Go tackle the  hate crimes that are on the rise in America? Why isn't that making your "soul flare up"?

 

[nokidsmom]

On 11/23/2018 at 10:54 PM, SecularMusic said:

That dress is hideous. I can't imagine any place where it would be considered stylish unless she put herself into a time machine and went back to the 80s

The dress just hangs on her.  I wonder if she did wear it when she weighed more and actually dug it out from the back of the closet. 

I have seen more 80's styles out of Gwen, styles that I never thought I would see anyone in real life wear again, outside of a Back to the 80s style party.   

[SJWaterford]

3 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Gwen has dived off the deep end and is rambling about God not being on the news in her daily devotional. 

Well then wouldn't it also be "The hand of God let five people die in a terrible car accident today." or "The hand of God did not protect the small child from being beaten to death by a relative."  or "God is letting a serial killer run rampant."

Again it would also mean that we would get "Wow, God really surprised us with that tornado that killed 15 people and destroyed the homes of countless others."

or

"God decided to keep denying the drought ridden places rain and is also sending heavy rain to locations that are currently already under flood waters."

That is how it works Gwen. If we gave God the credit for everything on the news it wouldn't sound so great. 

Because belief in God is a matter of faith and not science? 

Why don't you go channel some of that anger in your soul into helping those less fortunate than you, Gwen? Go tackle the  hate crimes that are on the rise in America? Why isn't that making your "soul flare up"?

 

This is exactly what I have been struggling with lately. Suffering and why God allows suffering. Really everything I have read or every  podcast I have listened to hasn't been able to explain this to me. I don't understand why if he could raise his hand and end so much suffering caused by Gwen, or so many other instances of suffering around the world to so many people, then why doesn't he? Not a question I expect anyone to answer. 

[bea]

You would think she would have changed her hair by now based on public opinion. People talk about her hair all the time. Yet she keeps it.

 

Also her utterly mystifying terrible makeup.

Surely she has enough money for a makeup expert to teach her to blend. And use Chapstick.

 

I am just BAFFLED by Gwen. Give it all to God (unless you’re Gwen, then it’s okay to be selfish), don’t divorce (unless you’re Gwen, then it’s okay to trade your husband in for a new model), give glory to God about everything (unless you’re Gwen and then you’re the Queen of Everything).

The cognitive dissonance of being around her must be staggering.