Safe at Home 4: Where the thread names change, but the Arndts stay the same

[quiversR4hunting]

Is it too much to ask that the older "boys" get a house like this: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/3260-Long-Rd-De-Soto-MO-63020/49736993_zpid/

It is 45 minutes from the cult hive, it isn't across the country but it is across the river and in another state. And the cult leaders couldn't visit by golf cart or side-by-side. 

[Petronella]

37 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

when I looked at the map it appears it might back up to the main house or at least be accessible by a side-by-side or golf cart. (red dot is the property, blue dot -provided by google automatically - is the arndt compound)

 

Hmmm. Close as the crow flies, but depends if the roads connect easily. From the roads pictured here, looks like they’d have to drive a long way around. (Unless there’s an unmarked dirt road connection?)

Also, re the link to the realtor’s listing, does anyone see pics of the actual house? I couldn’t find any.

[quiversR4hunting]

14 minutes ago, Petronella said:

Hmmm. Close as the crow flies, but depends if the roads connect easily. From the roads pictured here, looks like they’d have to drive a long way around. (Unless there’s an unmarked dirt road connection?)

Also, re the link to the realtor’s listing, does anyone see pics of the actual house? I couldn’t find any.

I want pictures too!!

I agree it looks like to take a road vehicle they would have to go around. I bet a path will be made soon, if not already.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

47 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

Is it too much to ask that the older "boys" get a house like this: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/3260-Long-Rd-De-Soto-MO-63020/49736993_zpid/

It is 45 minutes from the cult hive, it isn't across the country but it is across the river and in another state. And the cult leaders couldn't visit by golf cart or side-by-side. 

If I had the money I’d try to hire you to house hunt for me, that’s a perfect house!

i am now completely sad about what is available to me here.

[quiversR4hunting]

Just now, HerNameIsBuffy said:

If I had the money I’d try to hire you to house hunt for me, that’s a perfect house!

i am now completely sad about what is available to me here.

I would do it for free! I should go back and get my real estate license again (had it 20 years ago). I love houses. So many dreams and lives are built around a good house fit for a person or family. 

For the Ardnt boys, there were other that were 4 or 5 bedrooms but so many screamed "family" home and I was looking for a chill, comfortable, hang out house with at least 1 acre so they could play baseball or volleyball, etc and at least 30 minutes away from ma and pa on the other side of the river (making it more difficult to get to ). Bonus it has the horse barn so they could have parties in there or create a photography studio, 

[Four is Enough]

Can those "boys" cook? They might starve!

Can they do laundry? They might get stinky!

Who's going to clean their bathrooms, wash their dishes, scrub their floors?

Oh, the POOR BOYS! Sent into oblivion!!

How will they get birthday cake? Will it be brought to them?

So. Many. Questions.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

16 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Can those "boys" cook? They might starve!

Can they do laundry? They might get stinky!

Who's going to clean their bathrooms, wash their dishes, scrub their floors?

Oh, the POOR BOYS! Sent into oblivion!!

How will they get birthday cake? Will it be brought to them?

So. Many. Questions.

They’ve been  shown many times on the old safe at home series cooking, baking, cleaning. Even laundry.  

The Arndts have a far wider array of practical life skills than most fundies (heck, even non- fundy people) and a decent education.

From what s could see Cathy was an example of homeschool done properly.

the mental and emotional mysteries of their family cult will forever baffle me, but when it comes to actually getting stuff done in day to day life the Ardnt’s are ahead of most people I know.

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

They’ve been  shown many times on the old safe at home series cooking, baking, cleaning. Even laundry.  

The Arndts have a far wider array of practical life skills than most fundies (heck, even non- fundy people) and a decent education.

From what s could see Cathy was an example of homeschool done properly.

the mental and emotional mysteries of their family cult will forever baffle me, but when it comes to actually getting stuff done in day to day life the Ardnt’s are ahead of most people I know.

I think it’s because she has 13 boys. I think fundies keep the gender roles strict when it works out well for them. Meaning they have both girls and boys all mixed up in birth order. My personal opinion is that they would have been a little stricter with the gender roles if they had 7 girls and 7 boys. 

[quiversR4hunting]

I changed my mind! this might be the best house, property and business opportunity for the Ardnt boys. Plus it is 2 1/2 hours away in MO. - https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/4810-Hc-2-Lowndes-MO-63951/2094610774_zpid/?fullpage=true 

The old trailers could be taken away and new ones put on the property so all the "boys" could leave the cult hive. And then the bar. Oh. my. I would totally pay to go to an Ardnt, hole-in-the-wall gritty bar. The rules would be they must play rock or country (or both) and keep the dark hole-in-the-wall interior.

So who wants to have spin an awesome idea for the "boys" with this property? 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think it’s because she has 13 boys. I think fundies keep the gender roles strict when it works out well for them. Meaning they have both girls and boys all mixed up in birth order. My personal opinion is that they would have been a little stricter with the gender roles if they had 7 girls and 7 boys. 

I don’t disagree - with that many boys front loaded if they didn’t loosen the grip on gender roles Cathy would have had a breakdown.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I don’t disagree - with that many boys front loaded if they didn’t loosen the grip on gender roles Cathy would have had a breakdown.

I know you didn’t disagree. I just think the reasoning behind many fundies loosening the strict gender roles is based in their own comfort. I think this is also the reasoning behind some of the anti-vax anti-doctor stances. It’s much easier on the parents (especially the mother) if she doesn’t have to take a baby to the doctor for his vaccines/well checks when he is two weeks, then one month, then 2 months, then four months, then six months, then one year, then two years old and so on. Imagine a fundie who is constantly pregnant and constantly has a baby trying to get to the doctor appointments of her new baby, her toddler, her preschooler, and her 4 older children. Between all of those kids needing vaccines, she would be at the doctor’s office all the time. I honestly think that’s why some of them are anti-vaccines. It makes their lives easier. Until they have to have their baby life flighted for whooping cough (the Millers).

[GreyhoundFan]

Maybe they'll have Mary-Elizabeth move into the auxiliary house as Cathy's proxy.

[Inky]

I certainly don't see how a bunch of men moving into a house together is going to attract very many prospective wives! Hell these guys aren't even trying!!

They aren't boys anymore. Not even close.

You remember the television show "Here Come the Brides"? If you're old enough you will.

They should do a television show about the Arndt's - they're bringing back a lot of old shows  like All In the Family, Golden Girls. The Arndt's could be the Bolt family! 

Elizabeth could be Biddy. Or would the mom be Biddy??

[JenniferJuniper]

10 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

They’ve been  shown many times on the old safe at home series cooking, baking, cleaning. Even laundry.  

The Arndts have a far wider array of practical life skills than most fundies (heck, even non- fundy people) and a decent education.

From what s could see Cathy was an example of homeschool done properly.

the mental and emotional mysteries of their family cult will forever baffle me, but when it comes to actually getting stuff done in day to day life the Ardnt’s are ahead of most people I know.

Completely this.  She even had the boys make scarves and potholders on knitting jennys  for fun when they were young.  Rick expressed a little concern, but Cathy pooh poohed it.   This sort of "extra" stuff tells me it wasn't all about Cathy's needs.  She said it was good for fine motor skills. For a fundie homeschooler, Cathy did a really good job educating the kids.  

Unfortunately had any of the  kids wanted to go on and become an engineer or a doctor or a teacher, sorry, no.  They had to join the collective and do exactly what Rick wanted.   My own guess is that Cathy would have been proud to say "My son, the doctor" but it seems as though she allowed Rick full control once the kids graduated from HS.

I'd love to know what Cathy truly thinks about how things have turned out and about her own role in "allowing" it.  But it will never happen.   Cathy has no more of an external voice than does Mary Elizabeth. 

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

23 hours ago, Lisafer said:

This is a thread where FJers grow old and gray and weary, slowly drifting in an endless whorl of Vine Valley clips and softball games, where time is marked only by an endless line of birthday cakes in the master bedroom, one undistinguishable from the next.

I read this in a Rod Serling voice.  It was perfect!

[Lisafer]

9 minutes ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

I read this in a Rod Serling voice.  It was perfect!

Doo-dee-DOO-doo, doo-dee-DOO-doo, doo-dee-DOO-doo...

[johnhugh]

I cannot see that this will give them much more freedom. All it takes is one of the manboys who is further down the rabbit hole to snitch to pastor Ricky.... *insert man boy name *was  wanking. 

[Gobsmacked]

I do sometimes wonder of the possibility of one of the boys having a secret family somewhere. They travel for work so it's possible. Imagine what Rick would say !!

[lilith]

7 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

I do sometimes wonder of the possibility of one of the boys having a secret family somewhere. They travel for work so it's possible. Imagine what Rick would say !!

I’m imagining them sneaking Lego out of the Ardnt collection to give to their secret children.

[nokidsmom]

On 4/27/2019 at 12:33 AM, johnhugh said:

I cannot see that this will give them much more freedom. All it takes is one of the manboys who is further down the rabbit hole to snitch to pastor Ricky.... *insert man boy name *was  wanking. 

I don't see it as giving that much more freedom either.  Aside from someone snitching in the name of "accountability", there's the fact that pastor Ricky doesn't have much to do and can easily show up to check up on everyone.   Or they will be called over to the main homestead to help with something.   

It's just a variant of living under the parents' roof.    The manboys need to go a lot further away, making it a lot more inconvenient for pastor Daddy to wander over there or for Cathy to call for some assistance.    

[lilith]

17 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

I don't see it as giving that much more freedom either.  Aside from someone snitching in the name of "accountability", there's the fact that pastor Ricky doesn't have much to do and can easily show up to check up on everyone.   Or they will be called over to the main homestead to help with something.   

It's just a variant of living under the parents' roof.    The manboys need to go a lot further away, making it a lot more inconvenient for pastor Daddy to wander over there or for Cathy to call for some assistance.    

I would bet that Mary Elizabeth or Cathy will be coming over regularly to deep clean, do laundry, drop off meals and pick up the Lego too. 

I know Cathy had her boys help with traditionally feminine tasks when she had no choice, but now there’s an unemployed young adult woman and a mother with ever diminishing responsibilities at Ardnt HQ there’s no reason why they wouldn’t insert themselves into the bachelor pad to “help”.

Edited April 30, 2019 by lilith

[quiversR4hunting]

58 minutes ago, lilith said:

I would bet that Mary Elizabeth or Cathy will be coming over regularly to deep clean, do laundry, drop off meals and pick up the Lego too. 

I know Cathy had her boys help with traditionally feminine tasks when she had no choice, but now there’s an unemployed young adult woman and a mother with ever diminishing responsibilities at Ardnt HQ there’s no reason why they wouldn’t insert themselves into the bachelor pad to “help”.

I want an "UGH" reaction! 

Sadly, I think you are right. 

[livinginthelight]

Thread drift here. Because I can and because this family is fascinating but so darn boring. And because it does relate.

Has anyone else read Tana French's, The Likeness? I loved that book and until now hadn't seen the parallels. I don't want to give away too many spoilers but the book, in which a female detective assumes the identity of a murder victim in order to crack the case, does explore some interesting boundaries, e.g.,  "gift" vs. "obligation", "paradise" vs. "prison", "approved culture" vs. "individuality." It was a fascinating psychological study. Did anyone else read it? I'm not suggesting or hoping for the same outcome at all, but I'm thinking maybe this novel could shed some light on the family dynamics.

 

Edited April 30, 2019 by livinginthelight

[quiversR4hunting]

2 hours ago, livinginthelight said:

Thread drift here. Because I can and because this family is fascinating but so darn boring. And because it does relate.

Has anyone else read Tana French's, The Likeness? I loved that book and until now hadn't seen the parallels. I don't want to give away too many spoilers but the book, in which a female detective assumes the identity of a murder victim in order to crack the case, does explore some interesting boundaries, e.g.,  "gift" vs. "obligation", "paradise" vs. "prison", "approved culture" vs. "individuality." It was a fascinating psychological study. Did anyone else read it? I'm not suggesting or hoping for the same outcome at all, but I'm thinking maybe this novel could shed some light on the family dynamics.

 

I haven't but it will go on my goodreads list. I am currently reading "In the Woods" by her!

[AnywhereButHere]

I check in here every now and then - just to make sure that all is as it should be in Arndtland. Some of the boys decamping the homestead (albeit for what amounts to a luxury tent in the backyard) is a minor seismic ripple. What could be next? Birthday parties at Olive Garden?

But back to the thread drift... I love Tana French! I have her two latest sitting on my nightstand. I don't want to start them, because then I'll have to finish them, and then I'll be sad that they're done. That doesn't sound too obsessively weird - right?  The Likeness and Broken Harbor are tied for my favorites, but all of the others run a close second. There aren't any that I didn't love.