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Dillards 56: Running a Marathon but not Working


Coconut Flan

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You guys, I was looking up how much it costs to have a baby in Australia (we have a dual public/private system, so you can opt to go public and get it done for free, or you can pay for private health cover and pay excess out of hospital fees too--can you guess which I'll choose?). Anyway, guess whose photo showed up in the article?

Not sure I'd characterise them as 'hipster', but there you go

 https://www.mamamia.com.au/the-real-cost-of-having-a-baby/

Screen Shot 2018-04-25 at 3.27.04 pm.png

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20 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I didn’t watch, but people here were saying she was pretty vocal about her disappointment that Sam was a boy in the sex reveal episode. Which is pretty shitty in my opinion since Derick and Jill were right there. It can’t have felt good to hear her talking like that during what should have been a nice moment.

I agree that it was shitty the way Cathy didn't hide her disappointment that Sam was a boy.I can actually sympathize,in a way.

My MIL used to tell,my sister and law and me,that we would never have girls.She was wrong with my sister in law,she did have one,then she said she had a 50/50 chance,but that my chances of producing a girl were slim to none.She believed that the gender reproduced is hereditary.

She claimed that she never wanted a girl(she had 4 sons)because girls were "harder to raise"...and just how would she know this??Since she never had one??Sour grapes ,if you ask me.

Sure,I admit I would have loved to have had a girl,but I didn't.I accepted what I got.

 

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11 hours ago, artdecades said:

Is that Jill in the middle of the video smacking her gum with her mouth open?

I’m not sure, but I don’t think it is. I didn’t see Derick, Jill, or the boys in the photos or the video. I’m guessing they weren’t able to make it to the party for some reason - are they at the Family Conference in Big Sandy this week?

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I wanted a girl so badly. When she was born, the doctor said it's a girl! And I said to her is it a girl? And she had to announce again yes, its a girl! I do feel sad for anyone who has experienced gender reveal disappointment. It's a hard thing to experience I imagine and not something you can easily talk about with others. On top of your own disappointment, you might be feeling disappointment from your family members too. 

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40 minutes ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I wanted a girl so badly. When she was born, the doctor said it's a girl! And I said to her is it a girl? And she had to announce again yes, its a girl! I do feel sad for anyone who has experienced gender reveal disappointment. It's a hard thing to experience I imagine and not something you can easily talk about with others. On top of your own disappointment, you might be feeling disappointment from your family members too. 

I think that feeling a bit sad or disappointed at first can be normal. I think a lot of people have mental images of what their family will look like and it can be a bit tough when that image doesn’t match up exactly. For example, my sister specifically chose to learn the sex of her second child because she experienced PPD after having her first and she was attempting to do anything that might cut back on the risk of that happening again. She’s having a second boy and was shocked at first (her symptoms were very different this time around), but she seems happy and excited now that she’s had time to process. The only time I feel it’s a problem is if:

1. The parents or family members aren’t able to move past that initial disappointment and love the child exactly as they are or

2. You act like an asshole about it, it’s caught on camera, and the reaction is then preserved for posterity.

Everyone seems to love Sam very much, so I don’t think the first exception applies to them. But the second definitely does. 

Edited by VelociRapture
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I had a bit of disappoint when I found out we were having our second boy. I really, REALLY wanted a girl and I knew that our second was going to be our last. 

I kept it to myself (with the exception of a few private conversations with my fiancée) and then I got over it. Now I can’t imagine my life without both my boys. Would I have loved a girl? Of course!  But my family is perfect just the way it is. 

I get the occasional questions from people asking if I’m going to try for a girl or if I’m disappointed with not having a girl. I even once got a snarky comment about it once when my youngest son took off running in the store. I caught up to him and picked him up and an elderly gentleman said something along the lines of “too bad you didn’t have a girl. They’re better behaved.” It’s amazing what some people will say about other people’s families!!

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39 minutes ago, curlykate said:

too bad you didn’t have a girl. They’re better behaved.” It’s amazing what some people will say about other people’s families!!

 

That man has clearly never met my neice. 

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Yeah, I have a couple friends (their sisters) they definitely wouldn't fall under the girls are better behaved.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wondering hoping for a boy or girl or even wondering what it would be like to have a daughter even thought you have a son and love him completely. My sister-in-law has a occasionally wondered that even though she and my brother were a one and done. I've wondered what it would like to have a niece and what she'd be like and I think the world of my nephew. He's the brightest, smartest, funniest, cleverest, funnest boy have ever know (yes I'm prejudice but I also swear he is).   

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49 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

That man has clearly never met my neice. 

Or my daughter & niece. Dear Ruffus you were very merciful having those two be 12 years apart in age. The world won't not have been able to handle G & E on the lose at the same age, 2 too smart too cute girls with enough sass, personality & brains to take over the world at 6 years old. 

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1 hour ago, KelseyAnn said:

That man has clearly never met my neice. 

Or GryffindorDisappointment.

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I know sometimes people really, really want a certain sex child, but it didn't matter to me.  I had gotten to a point in my life where I had accepted that I would be childless, so when I did end up pregnant, that was such a surprise and unexpected good news, that I was simply glad to be pregnant and have the pregnancy go smoothly.  I also did not find out the sex until the doctor announced it after I gave birth.  But the moment I heard "it's a boy" and then had my son placed on my chest, it felt absolutely perfect.

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I had wanted our third and last to be a boy, since we had two girls. My plan was to hit the mall and go shopping afterwards, because I adore baby clothes. I knew it would either be a fun way to celebrate, or a way to cheer myself up. So when we found out the baby was a girl, I went and got some cutesy girl-outfits and by that evening was stoked to be a mom of all daughters. Turned out we were to only have nephews, 9 total. No wonder I had all of the girls before the slew of boys hit our family. :my_heart:

Edited by fluffernutter
i said boy nephews. like there's such a thing as girl nephews. ; )
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6 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

I had wanted our third and last to be a boy, since we had two girls. My plan was to hit the mall and go shopping afterwards, because I adore baby clothes. I knew it would either be a fun way to celebrate, or a way to cheer myself up. So when we found out the baby was a girl, I went and got some cutesy girl-outfits and by that evening was stoked to be a mom of all daughters. Turned out we were to only have nephews, 9 total. No wonder I had all of the girls before the slew of boys hit our family. :my_heart:

Its funny how that works out. My cousins all have all boys or all girls except for the two that have three kids one had a boy after two daughters and the other adopted a girl. Its so completely different from my cousins, brother and I all from two kid families one boy and one girl except for one which is two sisters.

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2 hours ago, curlykate said:

I get the occasional questions from people asking if I’m going to try for a girl or if I’m disappointed with not having a girl. I even once got a snarky comment about it once when my youngest son took off running in the store. I caught up to him and picked him up and an elderly gentleman said something along the lines of “too bad you didn’t have a girl. They’re better behaved.” It’s amazing what some people will say about other people’s families!!

I worked as a camp counselor for a few summers in HS/college, and one of my coworkers brought in some research once about how in classroom settings (applied to our camp) teachers make the bolded above a self-fulfilling prophesy because they tend to tolerate less rowdy behavior from little girls than little boys. I think about it fairly often when I'm around groups of kids, and also that notable time on her old blog Erika Shupe wrote about not quashing her 3 and 4 year old boys' manliness.

Edited by pandora
apostrophe
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My brother always said he wanted a boy before he had his two girls. He now says he loves his girls and if they had another he wouldn't be disappointed if it was another girl. When he travels up from England he loves spending time with my two nephew's and gets to do the things my nieces don't want to do with him. My sister in turn got to take my oldest niece to get her nails done and take her shopping. 

Cathy should have kept her opinion to herself about Sam being a boy, especially when it was on TV.

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Expecting our second boy in a handful of weeks. I did want a girl this time, honestly. I think we all kind of did. That disappointment was quickly stamped out by realizing we didn't need much but a double stroller and a few other odds and ends. There's talks of going for round three and maybe even four with babies. Maybe one of those will give us a daughter. I'm sure I'll be happy still even if it didn't though. I love my little buddy so much, I wouldn't trade him for anything and I know I'll feel the same about this one when he's born.  

Edited by lizzybee
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Yes but it was probably FREE because they shilled it on their Instagram .  Learning from Dereck and Jill. Free cake !

Edited by Don'tlikekoolaid
Clarified cake
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My one and only daughter was a drama queen. If I could have been guaranteed nothing BUT boys, I'd have kept having kids. She and I are two VERY different people. She's a drama queen, loves high heels, dressing up, makeup. I'm not. We now get along great but her growing up years were ROUGH. My boys were easier...they understood sarcasm and wise-ass absurd remarks. But, Rufus is great and gave her a daughter JUST LIKE HER!!!! A drives her mother BONKERS with the drama queen shit and I just sorta laugh. I get texts saying "take the curse off mom, PLEASE!!"...and I'm like, nope...revenge is just SO sweet...the next text from her is (insert profanity here). K is me, just littler and cuter...that kid had a handle on hell-raising and sarcasm from the time she was 2. Grandson E is another one who is just like me the older he gets. Is personality a genetic trait? 

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I really wanted a girl, 3 girls actually. I was so excited when we found out our first was a girl. My second pregnancy was almost identical to my first so even though we were unable to find out before birth I was sure I was having another girl. I had this big picture of having the two girls fairly close in age (they are about 22 months apart) that I was surprised and more than a little disappointed to find out the little girl I had pictured was in fact a boy. It did take me a day or two to really adjust but within a few days I couldn't imagine things any different. 

Our third was a another little boy, we found out at 18 weeks. I did feel a tinge of disappointment but I quickly got over that, I think it was easier for me once I had already fallen in love with my other son. Sadly, we lost him a few weeks after that. When I found out I was pregnant again a few months later I really didn't care. We had another little girl and she is proof that girls are not better behaved than boys. She really is a little handful most of the time, not "bad" (I really hate that term for kids) but full of energy and has strong opinions. I just hope we are able to keep that energy and stubborness focused into positive things. 

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31 minutes ago, nvmbr02 said:

I really wanted a girl, 3 girls actually. I was so excited when we found out our first was a girl. My second pregnancy was almost identical to my first so even though we were unable to find out before birth I was sure I was having another girl. I had this big picture of having the two girls fairly close in age (they are about 22 months apart) that I was surprised and more than a little disappointed to find out the little girl I had pictured was in fact a boy. It did take me a day or two to really adjust but within a few days I couldn't imagine things any different. 

 

I had this too! my pregnancy was so similar that i though for sure we were having another girl, took a bit to move on from that family image. Plus, I wasn't sure what to do with a boy!! (I was raised by my mom , visited dad in the summers, but i'm an only child too, so just not around boys growing up, at least from a living with them standpoint, such a mystery!).  The little guy is 5 though and he's a ball, but man, so much ENERGY!!!!! 

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On 2018-04-04 at 1:50 AM, JenniferJuniper said:

Same with a former boss of mine.  Extremely intelligent, articulate, thoughtful, kind man.  Do anything for anyone.  Is always the first the volunteer to help and expects nothing in return. 

Also thinks men should have the final say on whether their partners can abort.  And abortion should only be allowed if the mother's life is in danger.  And the father of the baby agrees.  Voted for the fake president on this reason alone (never mind the fact that Trump wanted his second daughter aborted!)

I can't even with him. I've made every rational, logical argument as to why every human BEING should have control over what happens with her body.  Embryos and fetuses are human life but not human beings, and the human being gets to say whether it stays or goes.  Not a boyfriend, not a politician, not her father.  Nope, he politely insists, fathers should have equal rights to mothers at every stage of gestation.   :angry-banghead:

I think I might have saved this quote from two threads ago. But I finally made it to the end. Yay! And even though we’ve moved on I have to ask. Does his reasoning apply to rapists as well? Can they tell their victim not to abort?And would the father that didn’t want to abort have to take full responsibility for the child once it was born? If someone got pregnant after groupsex and didn’t know who the father was do they get to wote for or against abortion? Or is it enough if one doesn’t want it? So many questions! 

And he thinks abortion should only be allowed if the mothers life is in danger AND the father agrees?

So if a man had a wife who was told she would die if she had a baby, and he wanted to get rid of his wife, it would be perfectly legal for him to kill her by getting her pregnant and then telling her she couldn’t abort?

This is something I would like to ask someone that is pro life: If your kidney could save an other persons life would it be ok for the goverment to force you to donate it aginst your will? Or should you be able to decide if you want to put your body through operations, tests, risks, recovery, the possibility of lasting harm? The other person will die a painful death if you don’t donate. For arguments sake lets say the other person is a newborn baby. 

I understand that they would just answer ”Jesus” and continue their pro birth life but still I’d really like to know. 

On 2018-04-19 at 5:02 AM, nst said:

I wouldn't let her near my hoohaw if you paid me a million dollars 

For a million dollars she could stand quietly an arms length away from me. One word about Jesus, joy or miracles she’s out though.

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On 4/24/2018 at 12:59 PM, VelociRapture said:

Dan and Deena Dillard are having a boy:

Here’s hoping Cathy wasn’t a massive tool to them like she was to the Dills when they found out Sam was a boy.

She seems more excited about promoting the cake the  she does about the baby.

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33 minutes ago, Ilovebrownies said:

She seems more excited about promoting the cake the  she does about the baby.

I watched the clip of her disappointment over Sam being a boy. Well gee Cathy, sure put on a blue sweater next time and Jill's third baby will just magically change sexes. 

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