Erin and Chad 3: Welcoming Baby Everly

[feministxtian]

51 minutes ago, RainbowSky said:

As people are talking about wearing extra clothes to make you a better swimmer, maybe the suits help?

Back in the dark ages when I swam competitively, we'd practice with 2 swim suits on. Something about drag. I do remember that once I hit the pool with only one suit on, I felt lighter. When I did the lifeguard training, we had to jump in the pool fully dressed and tread water for heaven knows how long, fully dressed...like jeans, t-shirt, socks and shoes dressed. 

[SassyPants]

On 4/27/2018 at 12:39 AM, feministxtian said:

Back in the dark ages when I swam competitively, we'd practice with 2 swim suits on. Something about drag. I do remember that once I hit the pool with only one suit on, I felt lighter. When I did the lifeguard training, we had to jump in the pool fully dressed and tread water for heaven knows how long, fully dressed...like jeans, t-shirt, socks and shoes dressed. 

And make a personal flotation device out of your clothing. I remember this from life guarding.

[RainbowSky]

8 hours ago, SassyPants said:

And make a personal flotation device out of your clothing. I remember this from life guarding.

I did too lol

[JermajestyDuggar]

On 4/27/2018 at 2:57 AM, Hisey said:

Kids have different personalities and I sort of get the feeling that Brooklyn might be a toddler with a tempermental and cranky personality.

She doesn't look easy-going or cheerful in most of the pics. She usually has  a crabby look. Like the photo with her in the supermarket cart eating cheetos. A sort of "don't mess with me" look. Some babies are like that. It can be kinda cute, actually. 

So it's possible she may not be an easy child. I can remember when she was about 3  months and Erin made a joke about how she was always crying. 

On the other hand, Carson strikes me as the sweet, sensitive, gentle type of toddler. 

So it could be that Carson is just easier, or that Erin simply finds him easier, or finds his personality easier to relate to.

 

 

I am always sad when a “difficult” child is in huge fundie families. They really get the worst of it all. 

[freethemall]

On 4/27/2018 at 2:57 AM, Hisey said:

Kids have different personalities and I sort of get the feeling that Brooklyn might be a toddler with a tempermental and cranky personality.

She doesn't look easy-going or cheerful in most of the pics. She usually has  a crabby look. Like the photo with her in the supermarket cart eating cheetos. A sort of "don't mess with me" look. Some babies are like that. It can be kinda cute, actually. 

So it's possible she may not be an easy child. I can remember when she was about 3  months and Erin made a joke about how she was always crying. 

On the other hand, Carson strikes me as the sweet, sensitive, gentle type of toddler. 

So it could be that Carson is just easier, or that Erin simply finds him easier, or finds his personality easier to relate to.

 

 

Aren't all toddlers temperamental? Some are just smilier for photos than others. I have a sweet sensitive gentle 18 month old but even he has his moments. 

[Carm_88]

Erin, Chad, and the three kids heading to church. 

[BeccaGrim]

My question is who took the picture?  Erin always has help in the house. I bet she is almost never alone with her kids. 

[Hisey]

3 hours ago, freethemall said:

Aren't all toddlers temperamental? Some are just smilier for photos than others. I have a sweet sensitive gentle 18 month old but even he has his moments. 

Of course. They're not all exactly the same, though. Some are more tempermental than others. I had one incredibly high strung toddler and one who was the soul of good nature. 

[HideousGreenShirt]

Oh Erin. I am so tempted to post a reply on that photo. 

"It gets easier, right?"  Well no, it definitely won't if you keep popping out babies. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

Oh Erin. I am so tempted to post a reply on that photo. 

"It gets easier, right?"  Well no, it definitely won't if you keep popping out babies. 

This is when it gets real for these second gen fundies. They are outnumbered by their children and they only become more outnumbered with each new blessing. Plenty of fundies probably think they have it all together when they have just one. When they have two, things get harder but it’s still manageable because they have husbands to lend a hand and occupy the toddler while they deal with a baby. But three young children will always mean chaos.

[Illmarryyoujana]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This is when it gets real for these second gen fundies. They are outnumbered by their children and they only become more outnumbered with each new blessing. Plenty of fundies probably think they have it all together when they have just one. When they have two, things get harder but it’s still manageable because they have husbands to lend a hand and occupy the toddler while they deal with a baby. But three young children will always mean chaos.

But they were raised in chaos. And I get that it’s differnt when it’s your own, but they did more than their actual mother did growing up. And yes, lots of hands in the house, but also lots of work. I personally think two toddlers and a newborn would be much more peaceful and calm than what she was raised in. 

[Melissa1977]

4 hours ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

But they were raised in chaos. And I get that it’s differnt when it’s your own, but they did more than their actual mother did growing up. And yes, lots of hands in the house, but also lots of work. I personally think two toddlers and a newborn would be much more peaceful and calm than what she was raised in. 

That!

Jessa, Alyssa, Erin... all of them seemed to be surprised about the fact that adding kids makes life difficult. Even when they just had the 2nd kid! My theory is that, when they were little, they couldn't understand that family chaos was due to the number of kids at home, because they were told every.single.day that kids are a blessing and all the families they knew were full of kids. When they were teenagers, there were a lot of hands to help with the babies, and the families were used to being so big, that one more baby wasn't a big deal.

But hey, these girls get married. They have a baby. A really loved baby, who makes them feel a kind of bonding they didn't felt as sistermoms. They stay at home, enjoying motherhood. A second baby comes. They start facing the dark side: double diapers, double crying, not enough hands to hold both babies. They are happy, of course, but things are not as easier as they were. A third baby: the chaos. Yes, still happy, the babies are still loved, but life is getting hard. #4, #5 and #6 will make things worse. I'm sure all of them know it. Whitney has stopped for the moment, Jessa seems to be  slowing down. I wonder if having sisters or friends having less babies, and watching them living more comfortably, will help others to take the same way.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

But they were raised in chaos. And I get that it’s differnt when it’s your own, but they did more than their actual mother did growing up. And yes, lots of hands in the house, but also lots of work. I personally think two toddlers and a newborn would be much more peaceful and calm than what she was raised in. 

Alyssa has always seemed to hate the chaos though. Didn’t she have her own room before she moved out? And she escaped young. I’m guessing she really enjoyed the quiet. I can’t imagine she will add another baby in rapid succession. But she’s really fertile. So maybe she will. But I can’t imagine she will be seeing it as such a blessing. Of course fundie girls would never admit it though.

[Illmarryyoujana]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Alyssa has always seemed to hate the chaos though. Didn’t she have her own room before she moved out? And she escaped young. I’m guessing she really enjoyed the quiet. I can’t imagine she will add another baby in rapid succession. But she’s really fertile. So maybe she will. But I can’t imagine she will be seeing it as such a blessing. Of course fundie girls would never admit it though.

She also lives a day away from her family. I don’t think three children means chaos to her, at least not most of the time. It’s still nothing compared to what she ran from.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

She also lives a day away from her family. I don’t think three children means chaos to her, at least not most of the time. It’s still nothing compared to what she ran from.  

Yes, but that also means she doesn’t have a constant helping hand like Erin. It’s all on her.

[Illmarryyoujana]

4 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

That!

Jessa, Alyssa, Erin... all of them seemed to be surprised about the fact that adding kids makes life difficult. Even when they just had the 2nd kid! My theory is that, when they were little, they couldn't understand that family chaos was due to the number of kids at home, because they were told every.single.day that kids are a blessing and all the families they knew were full of kids. When they were teenagers, there were a lot of hands to help with the babies, and the families were used to being so big, that one more baby wasn't a big deal.

But hey, these girls get married. They have a baby. A really loved baby, who makes them feel a kind of bonding they didn't felt as sistermoms. They stay at home, enjoying motherhood. A second baby comes. They start facing the dark side: double diapers, double crying, not enough hands to hold both babies. They are happy, of course, but things are not as easier as they were. A third baby: the chaos. Yes, still happy, the babies are still loved, but life is getting hard. #4, #5 and #6 will make things worse. I'm sure all of them know it. Whitney has stopped for the moment, Jessa seems to be  slowing down. I wonder if having sisters or friends having less babies, and watching them living more comfortably, will help others to take the same way.

 

Do they really seem overwhelmed though or is it just to seem relatable. I think Erin might be feeling it some more because I think she’d be the one to be lonely. Jessa seems fine, just messy. She should be able to clean more than she does with two kids, but chooses not to. Her choice, no judgement. And Alyssa seems to make light of things. I realize she’s the least likely to be completely open, but I really do think she sees this as nothing compared to the awfulness, in her eyes, she grew up in. 

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yes, but that also means she doesn’t have a constant helping hand like Erin. It’s all on her.

Yes, and I don’t think it’s as bad as we’re making it out to be. Having three small kids can be rough some days, and amazing other days. I think she handles it better than some people are assuming. I doubt she sees it as total chaos. 

[JordynDarby5]

5 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

That!

Jessa, Alyssa, Erin... all of them seemed to be surprised about the fact that adding kids makes life difficult. Even when they just had the 2nd kid! My theory is that, when they were little, they couldn't understand that family chaos was due to the number of kids at home, because they were told every.single.day that kids are a blessing and all the families they knew were full of kids. When they were teenagers, there were a lot of hands to help with the babies, and the families were used to being so big, that one more baby wasn't a big deal.

But hey, these girls get married. They have a baby. A really loved baby, who makes them feel a kind of bonding they didn't felt as sistermoms. They stay at home, enjoying motherhood. A second baby comes. They start facing the dark side: double diapers, double crying, not enough hands to hold both babies. They are happy, of course, but things are not as easier as they were. A third baby: the chaos. Yes, still happy, the babies are still loved, but life is getting hard. #4, #5 and #6 will make things worse. I'm sure all of them know it. Whitney has stopped for the moment, Jessa seems to be  slowing down. I wonder if having sisters or friends having less babies, and watching them living more comfortably, will help others to take the same way.

 

This is has confused me. They do always seem surprised that adding kids make things harder. Or even that one baby is a lot of work. They've been around babies their entire lives. Plus their mothers always made them do most of the work. Why are they so surprised that having one baby is a lot of work? Why are they so surprised two are even more work? Or three? Most people kind of know that. Even if they didn't grow up in a home with two or three kids. But Jessa, Erin, Alyssa and Jill all seem so surprised by that. Were they expecting to have a baby or two and be like their mothers? Assigning their baby to a sister-mom and they'd do all the work like their mothers did? Or getting a lot of help from their sisters still at home?  

[just_ordinary]

1 hour ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

Yes, and I don’t think it’s as bad as we’re making it out to be. Having three small kids can be rough some days, and amazing other days. I think she handles it better than some people are assuming. I doubt she sees it as total chaos. 

I agree. Having three under three/four isn’t that unusual. Lots of families go through it without constant help from their family and are able to manage it without going crazy. Number five till six might be the game changers though. That is when I can see them getting even stricter and tending towards harsher methods to stay on top of their little herd. Let’s hope this doesn’t happen as I believe they already parent at least similar to their parents.

It also depends a lot on the personalities of the family members. Some thrive with this kind of stress others don’t.

As to why the girls seem to be surprised: I think most of them didn‘t have to care for a newborn in quite some time (please correct me if I am wrong here) and I believe not all had to do everything regarding parenting. Michael potty trained them all iirc, so this might be a struggle completely new to other Bates‘ girls.

[SassyPants]

15 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

Oh Erin. I am so tempted to post a reply on that photo. 

"It gets easier, right?"  Well no, it definitely won't if you keep popping out babies. 

My SIL had 3 boys in 3 years time. When they were 0-1-2, she asked me when it would get easier, and I told her this is as easy as it gets. I saw my SIL this past weekend and reminded her of such. Her boys are now 22-20-19- all in college, relationships, working, 2 living out of state while going to school. She laughed and said I was right.

Bigger kids= more complex problems

[Illmarryyoujana]

25 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

I agree. Having three under three/four isn’t that unusual. Lots of families go through it without constant help from their family and are able to manage it without going crazy. Number five till six might be the game changers though. That is when I can see them getting even stricter and tending towards harsher methods to stay on top of their little herd. Let’s hope this doesn’t happen as I believe they already parent at least similar to their parents.

Totally agree with this! Once they have a literal handful or more I’ll believe they’re truly overwhelmed with chaos and not just saying things for social media. 

I do legitimately think Jill has had a rougher go, but she also has the absolute worst husband of them all and seems to be the least aware of what the world was really like. She also has had more change than any of the other moms have had. 

[JordynDarby5]

Didn't Kelly hand her babies over when they were born or am I remembering wrong?  

 

ETA I just checked the Bates cheat sheet and Kelly did hand over her babies at birth to their assigned buddy. 

[Audrey2]

Sure, Erin, just try to convince yourself it gets easier. Wait until your add more!

Even though the Bates family is a large ine, I agree that Erin doesn't know or understand how hard it was on Kelly when she had just the older kids as little people. I know Erin would remember the sister Mom years, but essentially, that was giving each sister mom a new kid every 3-5 years, not adding a new baby every year to year and a half, which would make each stage feel like it goes on forever and, in my opinion, be harder.

[TeaELSee]

I don’t think they are surprised, I think it’s all an act so they seem relatable. They are “surprised “ the same way when they keep getting pregnant while not practicing birth control.

lather, rinse repeat.

[SassyPants]

4 hours ago, JordynDarby5 said:

Didn't Kelly hand her babies over when they were born or am I remembering wrong?  

 

ETA I just checked the Bates cheat sheet and Kelly did hand over her babies at birth to their assigned buddy. 

No disgust for you, OP- but to the fact that KJB handed off newborns- what an irresponsible jackass. You know, maybe the creator really has decided that Michaela just needs a wee break...just for like 5 years.

[nokidsmom]

21 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

Oh Erin. I am so tempted to post a reply on that photo. 

"It gets easier, right?"  Well no, it definitely won't if you keep popping out babies. 

Exactly what I was thinking....though I don't post to instagram. 

Seems that things are getting real for Erin.   Having three vs. two or one makes a big difference.   My niece has four.  She kept up with the first two but then had numbers 3 and 4 in quick succession.  From what I hear, things are compete chaos for her.

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

No disgust for you, OP- but to the fact that KJB handed off newborns- what an irresponsible jackass. You know, maybe the creator really has decided that Michaela just needs a wee break...just for like 5 years.

As much as I feel sympathy for Michaela, I agree.  She deserves a break after all the work she has done for her family for years on end.