Joy and Austin (and Gideon) 22: When Nothing Much Happens

[Carm_88]

Oh Rusty Yates has to live with knowing that those deaths are on his hands. I don't think that he feels bad about it, but I fully believe that if he had pushed and pushed for Andrea to get help, she would have gotten it. However, he took her back and kept getting her pregnant, ignoring all the signs. I don't feel one it bad for Rusty Yates. 

[Glasgowghirl]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

Oh Rusty Yates has to live with knowing that those deaths are on his hands. I don't think that he feels bad about it, but I fully believe that if he had pushed and pushed for Andrea to get help, she would have gotten it. However, he took her back and kept getting her pregnant, ignoring all the signs. I don't feel one it bad for Rusty Yates. 

Yes, he could have said no to more kids, he should have never left her alone with the kids that day, he was warned not to by professionals and he decided he knew better, her mother should have also ignored Rusty when he said for her to wait to come over. He even tried to blame medical professionals after the death's despite them refusing treatment for her.

[justoneoftwo]

2 hours ago, Glasgowghirl said:

Yes, he could have said no to more kids, he should have never left her alone with the kids that day, he was warned not to by professionals and he decided he knew better, her mother should have also ignored Rusty when he said for her to wait to come over. He even tried to blame medical professionals after the death's despite them refusing treatment for her.

He told his mother to wait?  Why?

[Mama Mia]

On 07/04/2018 at 6:35 PM, Markie said:

Austin seems like a red-necked, hard working country boy. Joy seems like a red-necked, hard working country girl. They appear to be well suited. I don't get an abusive vibe from him at all. I don't blame them for not having much of a social media presence. The In Touch articles were out of line. Wonder what their beef is with Joy and Austin? I'm not a fan of their beliefs, but recognize their rights to hold different values than mine. 

Late to this one- but so much this! Austin actually reminds me of one of my sons - not hard core religious - but if he’d been raised in that part of the country he probably would be. Hard working, outdoorsy, quiet, red neck-ish. Hell, there’s a LOT of People like that - just in my area of California they would have more or less liberal - or at least  live and let live - beliefs.  A girl like Joy would be his ideal match .

What freaks  me out about Austin and Joy is that they are practically identical. 

 

like that 

[Jilli]

Sorry I’m just returning to the loop, but I have to say the Andrea Yates story broke my heart. I was glued to her retrial. I never liked Rusty. 

 

I never got the abusive vibe from Austin, but I haven’t watched closely lately. I liked their dynamic while talking about building a closet in their fixer upper(saw this on YouTube). I know it was an disagreement, still liked it.

[bethover89]

I've been reading the book "Are you there alone" about Andrea Yates after reading this thread. I'm not finished with the book, but think its definitely important to place some blame on this Woroniecki guy, though I don't know how much of their quiverfull beliefs came from him, I think its likely he played a roll in that. And she talked a lot about wanting to save her children from hell basically and those ideas combined with her extremely serious mental illness and delusions is not a good combo. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Woroniecki

(wikipedia with a grain of salt) 

[Glasgowghirl]

6 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

He told his mother to wait?  Why?

When he went to work everyday his mother in law would come over to look after Andrea and the kids, as doctors warned him about leaving her alone but on the day of the death's he told her to wait and hour or half an hour before going over as he felt Andrea needed to learn to look after them on her own. He decided he knew better than the medical professionals and it cost those innocent kids their lives.

[nastyhobbitses]

2 hours ago, Glasgowghirl said:

When he went to work everyday his mother in law would come over to look after Andrea and the kids, as doctors warned him about leaving her alone but on the day of the death's he told her to wait and hour or half an hour before going over as he felt Andrea needed to learn to look after them on her own. He decided he knew better than the medical professionals and it cost those innocent kids their lives.

And he didn't go to jail for setting the stage in every way possible for his children's deaths...why? 

I know that there may not have been anything they could have pinned onto him criminally, but surely it would be considered negligent to willfully ignore and flout repeated warnings from doctors not to do a thing that could result in your vulnerable wife's/children's deaths. Maybe if this happened after the recent Michelle Carter inducement to suicide case we'd have a case to say that his actions and influence caused Andrea to get worse and he was complicit in the deaths, but I'm not a lawyer (but I play one on TV). 

Anyhoo, Rusty Yates is a piece of shit and I don't feel one bit sorry for him. 

[HarleyQuinn]

I tend to give In Touch a pass because they did bring Joshgate to life. They're allowed to talk some shit, IMO.

Tbf, I do get controlling vibes from Austin but I also think he looks like he'd be too afraid to actually act on something severe. 

[LiterallyBananas]

On 4/8/2018 at 8:08 AM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I was wrong, I thought I read several years ago that he had 3 or 4 more kids with wife #2, but I can only find where they have the 1.  How happy am I to hear that his 2nd wife left his sorry ass. I made the mistake of reading up on him after all this time.  What a compete asshole, I knew Andrea was ill but I had no idea just HOW ill she was, she was schizophrenic and her PARENTS also hold some of the blame, they were just fine with her being discharged and left alone with those kids.  Then to find they were living a bus while he made $80k a year.  I think it would do ALL the duggerigings a world of good to watch a documentary on the consequences of untreated mental illness and the effects of endless pregnancies. 

This all brings back bad memories, of a friend with fundylite parents who allowed their suicidal daughter to be left alone after losing custody of hr kids.  She of course killed herself, 29 years old and her idiot family just allowed her to be alone. Her ex is a wonderful he just wanted hr to get help but had to think of the girls and she also resisted help because of her upbringing and mental illness being weakness in God. 

I believe she suffered from PPD  with psychotic features, not schizophrenia. Regardless, I agree with you. I didn't realize the extent of her illness until I looked it up just now to confirm. Apparently she'd dealt with mental illness since she was a teenager, including bulimia and depression. Yet she achieved HS valedictorian and had a successful career as an RN until she had her first child -- she was undoubtedly intelligent. And in a way, I think that's a testament of how little control she had once becoming severely ill. Obviously intelligence doesn't always equal good choices, but I think if she could've possibly figured out how to help herself, she would have. 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Rusty Yates s/b in jail.

Austin creeps me out, he reminds me of a real jerk I once met in Church.  I really hope I'm wrong.

[apandaaries]

Can't let a Rusty Bates discussion go by without linking to previous discussions: 

 

 

I'm going to go ahead and quote myself here, because my thoughts mainly remain the same, but I shall also add some bolding for any Rusty supporters who may be reading along here. That man should spend every second of his days on earth regretting his actions, but I doubt he does. Regardless, he bears responsibility for the tragedy that befell his family:

"Her doctors (she'd worked with many and had been involuntarily hospitalized before due to postpartum psychosis) told her sane, NASA-employed husband that they would recommend she never again have children.  Her postpartum psychosis was obviously severe.  She had posed a risk to her penultimate child, then was an active (and psychotic, meaning no longer comprehending reality), real, mortal threat to ALL her children when she had her last one.  The doctors they'd worked with before had warned him repeatedly.

Many doctors were in disbelief that Rusty had decided she needed more kids and that they (he and Andrea) should discontinue her medications (which they did before her fifth pregnancy).  Rusty had deliberately chosen to delay his mother's arrival so that Andrea could, you know, do her proper mother's work, since mental illness just needs to be prayed away.   The medical community can and often is only able to provide so much help for the mentally ill.  Dr. Saeed, who certainly erred severely, was likely chosen by Rusty to avoid the words and looks he'd have gotten from the previous psychiatric staff (conjecture, but entirely possible and plausible).  He should have been more diligent in reviewing her records, but Rusty should have been much more forthcoming in revealing her previous problems. (Good NY Times article from 2001: http://www.nytimes.com/2001/09/08/national/08MOM.html)

I have 0% faith in Rusty's statements that he didn't know she was suicidal or psychotic or depressed or hearing voices.  Every description of her in her later days (or any psychotic period) is BAD.  You don't need to be a NASA engineer to spot a problem (or slew of problems) there, but our NASA engineer failed to see ANY issues which would hinder her mothering duties, despite medical professionals telling him she should NOT be left alone with the children.  

Andrea may have willingly consumed the Kool-Aid, but she clearly lost her mind and her connection to reality long before she committed her crimes.  This was compounded by a horrendous preacher blaming mothers for the evils of any and all children, and reassuring her via pamphlet that if she didn't raise them right, they'd be doomed to hell.  She has stated that when drowning them, she was praying they were going to heaven. The woman was not understanding the reality that the rest of us share.  Her world was filled with demons, and now she's experiencing hell on earth, whenever she is lucid enough to understand what she did.  

Yes, she knew more about secular life and had the potential for a career, but that doesn't count for much when one is in a full-blown psychotic state."  

Rusty had watched his wife repeatedly fall into postpartum psychosis; she did not understand the world the same way rational people do.  He was supposed to be the sane, rational adult who made important decisions and took care of the family, not the one who deliberately left his children in harm's way. He's the kind of person who makes me long for a vengeful and wrathful deity.

 

[Toothfairy]

Why do they have combined accounts?

[SapphireSlytherin]

13 minutes ago, Toothfairy said:

Why do they have combined accounts?

Some couples do that. Personally, I think it screams insecurity - but they may see it differently.

[nastyhobbitses]

28 minutes ago, Toothfairy said:

Why do they have combined accounts?

Let no man put asunder the Instagram account that God has joined together. 

[VBOY9977]

34 minutes ago, Toothfairy said:

Why do they have combined accounts?

What I’ve noticed with the shared accounts is that the girl is the one that usually posts and the guy posts every once in a while.

So maybe it’s just that the guy didn’t feel like getting another account if he’s barely gonna post or use the app. 

[Beermeet]

On 4/20/2018 at 6:07 AM, HarleyQuinn said:

I tend to give In Touch a pass because they did bring Joshgate to life. They're allowed to talk some shit, IMO.

Tbf, I do get controlling vibes from Austin but I also think he looks like he'd be too afraid to actually act on something severe. 

I think Austin is mirroring his fathers sober, strict, serious attitude.  

[LiterallyBananas]

5 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Some couples do that. Personally, I think it screams insecurity - but they may see it differently.

For a minute I thought this was about a joint bank account and was really confused... I'm not insecure, just a little lazy and have a shit memory lol. Direct deposit + everything on auto-deduct means we don't have to remember to pay bills, and for that I am v thankful.

And then I realized it was about IG and everything made more sense. 

On a totally, completely unrelated sidenote, my cat just slid off the bathroom sink into the trash can. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

10 minutes ago, LiterallyBananas said:

On a totally, completely unrelated sidenote, my cat just slid off the bathroom sink into the trash can. 

 S/he MEANT to do that. Lol

[amendgitan]

On 3/29/2018 at 9:17 PM, GreatScott said:

What would some of you consider ‘freedom’ or ‘breaking away’? Would it be publically speaking against what the Duggars grew their business on? Or would it be a combination of small things (pants, job, schools, no kids, etc) ?

I feel personally that it would take a big statement for me to see one of them as free. I like the pants and the limiting kids, but I don’t think they’re anything but the same shit in a different bag.

 

For me it would be living a life that would cause the parents to want to keep them away from their minor kids for fear of the kids being influenced. 

[VineHeart137]

I think Gideon is officially the Duggar grandchild that looks the least like the Duggars (for now). That is Austin reincarnated.

 

[JordynDarby5]

9 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

I think Gideon is officially the Duggar grandchild that looks the least like the Duggars (for now). That is Austin reincarnated.

 

He is cute.

[Sky with diamonds]

Wow, it's amazing how much he looks his father. Cute pic.

[Marionette]

On 4/22/2018 at 3:00 PM, SapphireSlytherin said:

Some couples do that. Personally, I think it screams insecurity - but they may see it differently.

I know several fundie couples who share accounts for "accountability," mainly so the husband can stay accountable/wife can keep check on the husband's activity. The Pecans have a joint-account, and I believe TFDW has said before that he wanted Pris to keep him accountable on his internet activity...

On 4/22/2018 at 3:23 PM, VBOY9977 said:

What I’ve noticed with the shared accounts is that the girl is the one that usually posts and the guy posts every once in a while.

So maybe it’s just that the guy didn’t feel like getting another account if he’s barely gonna post or use the app. 

But this reason equally makes sense, too. It really boils down to the couple, but these are fundies we're talking about.

[Bad Wolf]

Mr. Wolf can't be bothered with Facebook, so he looks at mine. It is on both of our kindles. I don't care. I don't post very often, but I like to keep up with family and friends across the pond. I wouldn't put anything on there he couldn't read, even if he didn't have access. We've been married a long time, and it certainly isn't for accountability, but hey, whatever makes you comfortable.