Bro Gary Hawkins 4: HAY-MAYUN!

[LovelyLuna]

13 minutes ago, Jellybean said:

Watching the video from Tuesday night (it takes me a while to build up the strength) and spotted a comment:

Is that you, @LovelyLuna, complaining about your wounds while high on pain meds? 

Wishing you a speedy recovery!

Thanks! I am currently high as a fucking kite and life is good, haaayyman.  I really should stop posting though, my filter went out the window some time last night between Joy and Jinger’s threads....

[mango_fandango]

OK folks,

I have psyched myself up. I have alcohol.

I AM FINALLY GOING TO WATCH ONE.

This may be either the best or the stupidest thing I have ever done because of FJ. (It could, of course, be both).

Sis mango_fandango

ETA:

I JUST HEARD A GARY HAWKINS HAY-MAYUN
 

I AM NOT DISAPPOINTED

It sounded like he was sneezing 

[General Jinjur]

3 hours ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

I say we pick a day and name it after our brother of holy slothfulness, the Evangelist Gary Hawkins.  (Here I go with yet another bulleted list.)

• Dress in your comfiest clothing.  If it needs mending, all the better.
• Wear a child's cowboy hat.  Avoid wearing Spanx that day, if at all possible.
• Take your own weens, gravy, biscuits, and Mountain Dew to work for lunch.  Bring enough to share, y'all!  It's lip-lickin' good!
• When you hand in a report, give a presentation, type correspondence, check on a patient, teach a class, mop the kitchen floor, walk your dog, take payment from a customer, etc. at work, finish by loudly proclaiming, "THAT'S GOOD WORK!"  If it doesn't make people jump, you haven't yelled suddenly and loudly enough.
• On the elevator, subway, bus, staircase, or crowded thoroughfare, fling your head back and shout "HAY MAY-UN" as randomly as you can, at the top of your lungs.  Then, lick your lips.
• Find a place to sit or lie down often during the day.  Be sure to take your shoes off.
• Post at least one video selfie to social media that day, wishing your brothers and sisters a happy GHaw Day.  (Tip:  be sure to hold your phone at crotch level when filming.) Lick your lips often.
• Carry an empty KFC bucket with you all day with a dollar or two thrown in, so others get the hint.
• Sing loudly and out of tune.  Choose a song with multiple verses.  Lick your lips between verses.
• If you speak English, avoid correct usage of grammar, syntax, spelling, and pronunciation. Remember to lick your lips.
• Rent a battered RV for the day.  If this isn't possible, spend the night in a local church basement.
• Read aloud an entire book from the KJB.  You have to draw a crowd when doing this.  And of course, lick your lips.

Ok Sis, I like the way you think. I just cleaned the cat box and yelled "THAT'S GOOD SCOOPIN'!" The older cat gave me a very judgmental look.

[catlady]

Bro CL is going to clean the bathroom tomorrow morning; I have encouraged him to yell, “that’s good cleanin’ “ as he works. 

[mango_fandango]

I find accents so interesting. I knew Gary would have a Southern accent but it was still weird to hear it, the way he added syllables to words eg “thee-us” and of course HAY-MAY-UN. 

Do we know exactly where Gary is from? 

I’d add something to the list: wear a button-up shirt that’s a little too small so that the shirt is strained across your chest. Wear an old pair of socks, if there’s a hole in the toe even better.

[Gobsmacked]

Pleeeeeeese could a non-technically challenged Sis post a video for me? The Beast from the east is killing our internetz connection. 

Thankyou in huge weenified anticipation.

Sis GS

[mango_fandango]

Here's the live video from Tuesday. Contains a few good HAY-MAY-UNs. 

Hope this works!!

[anniebgood]

Why is there a computer on top of a foos ball machine? I can't imagine Bro Gary getting his fat ass up and twirling the handles. 

[luv2laugh]

Ok @mango_fandango I just watched this and I am wondering if he is suffering from Tourette’s? I am concerned for him.

[mango_fandango]

36 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

Ok @mango_fandango I just watched this and I am wondering if he is suffering from Tourette’s? I am concerned for him.

I thought that too. The random shouted HAYMAYUN! sounds like a tic. The way it is so random and sudden also makes it seem like a sneeze, if you get what I mean. It could also just be something he came up with, his way of making himself sound like a preacher/televangelist. Like how Robert Tilton (who I discovered via Farting Preacher ) would say random words like HOO BABA KANDA. Gary may think that’s too like “speaking in tongues” so decided on yelling AMEN/HAYMAYUN instead. 

[luv2laugh]

I think it’s a Tourette’s tic.

[Dandruff]

2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Do we know exactly where Gary is from?

A ween-eating colony on Uranus.

[Ms. Squishels]

2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I thought that too. The random shouted HAYMAYUN! sounds like a tic. The way it is so random and sudden also makes it seem like a sneeze, if you get what I mean. It could also just be something he came up with, his way of making himself sound like a preacher/televangelist. Like how Robert Tilton (who I discovered via Farting Preacher ) would say random words like HOO BABA KANDA. Gary may think that’s too like “speaking in tongues” so decided on yelling AMEN/HAYMAYUN instead. 

When I first heard him shout HAYMAYUN, I thought he going to start speaking in tongues.  When I saw everyone using HAYMAYUN on here, I assumed he had been saying, "Hey, Man" in a southern accent drawing man out into two syllables.  Once I heard it in the video, I have not been able to quit laughing.  Not to mention I now have a strong urge to go around shouting HAYMAYUN any time it would be appropriate.  But I don't give in to the urge - - yet.

[MarblesMom]

I, too, have been self-encouraging with some several "that's good cleanin, right there!" and "that's some good weens" (when not eating actual weens).

I am also in the Tourette's camp.  Have been since the GHaw onset.

[MarblesMom]

Perhaps I have early onset GHaw.  I think a dose of Fuckitol might fix it.

[Gimme a Free RV]

3 hours ago, anniebgood said:

Why is there a computer on top of a foos ball machine? I can't imagine Bro Gary getting his fat ass up and twirling the handles. 

Oh, wait.  You meant twirling foosball handles—not love handles.

3 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Like how Robert Tilton (who I discovered via Farting Preacher ) would say random words like HOO BABA KANDA

Ack!  Robert Tilton!  Now there  was a faker and a showman who provided plenty of comedic fodder.

[Dandruff]

If this is the post-saved Gary, just imagine what the pre-saved Gary must have been like.

[luv2laugh]

On 3/1/2018 at 3:56 PM, General Jinjur said:

Praise Rufus for pain killers! Hope you have a speedy recovery. HAYMAYUN!

I am dying from laughter at @General Jinjur‘s avatar.

 

Bro Ghaw threads are literally the best ever on FreeJinger.  Maybe of life. I don’t remember laughing like this.

[ChickenettiLuvr]

Say it with me one more time:  Free Jinger is NOT good bedtime reading. Nope nope nope. 

For those just dipping weenie toes into Bro. GeeHaw, please be advised:  It is unwise to read this mess if you (a) haven't peed in the last 20 minutes, (b) require inhaler assistance when laughing too hard, or (c) are under the influence of alcohol or pain meds [or other drug of choice]. 

I really tried to make it through the latest vid posted by Sis @mango_fandango. Truly I did. Barely the halfway mark before doggo jumped, glared, and Bared Her Teeth, y'all. She is not having it.

So I asked Dr. Google to bring me farting preacher + Robert Tilton. Apparently I'm an 8 year old boy at heart. DH heard all the ruckus (Haymayun & farts & maniacal cackling) from the next room. He's making ugly noises about involuntary commitment. 

Pfffft. If I go down,  I'm taking all y'all with me!!!

[MarblesMom]

8 minutes ago, ChickenettiLuvr said:

weenie toes

Imma just saying, and not reposting the pic, but there were some seriously scary weenie toes in a pic somewhere in this thread.

[ChickenettiLuvr]

Yup. That was my thought too, @MarblesMom. But only After I clicked the submit button. Oopsies. 

[mango_fandango]

An evening of both Pastor Gas *and* HAY-MAYUNs? That’s a LETHAL combination!!

Dad introduced me to Pastor Gas as a friend had showed him a video on YouTube. 

[luv2laugh]

I just showed the video to Mr. Laugh tonight. We cracked up laughing, We cannot resist randomly shouting “HAY-MAYUN!!!’s” And “Hollerlooyah!”’s all night long to each other.

 

TMI but we are wondering if Bro GHaw shouts this when he’s intimate at night.... 

 

Farting Preacher... I am crying... 

On a side note, I can’t believe this charlatan brought in 80 million a year doing this. 

[Carol]

So , of course, I had to google, "Farting Preacher".  

I laughed so hard I thought I was going to get sick.  I had tears running down my face.  I'm in my 60's but, like a few others, have the mental maturity of of an ten year old.

Funniest thing I've see in years.

[smittykins]

Apparently, Bro Bob is still at it, albeit on a MUCH reduced scale:

(If you have about eight hours to spare, check out the four-part "Gospel of Greed" series on YT.)