Bro Gary Hawkins 4: HAY-MAYUN!

[Granwych]

Just now, Dandruff said:

Did he just shit the bed?

I dunno--is that a laugh, a smirk, or a grimace?  No--it's a "Praise Gawd!!"

[Dandruff]

3 minutes ago, Granwych said:

I dunno--is that a laugh, a smirk, or a grimace?  No--it's a "Praise Gawd!!"

So that's how he looks when he's being positive?  I hope the Lord appreciates the looks, brains, and charm he created and is a safe distance from Bro's weenie breath of praise.

[LovelyLuna]

27 minutes ago, Granwych said:

Oh, hell no, Sis Mango, you've got your head and your priorities straight there!

Sis Granwych of the See Above

Sis @mango_fandango I PRAY that you come to your senses and watch our friend in snark Bro Gary.  It’s worth it.  

@Granwych  thanks, I needed to be needed today. Hugs.

Bro Luna just got home with my offering from the pharmacy.  Hallelujah no joke. 

Sis Luna, going to go catch up on the Duggars while I’m on the good stuff. 

[Beermeet]

On 2/27/2018 at 7:21 PM, Heathenmom said:

A dick head...omg can I say that on here  lol 

 

Reminds me of a story....

In the early 90's when I was a wee lass, it was a *thing* to glue fellow students locks on their lockers as a joke ( the janitors hated us, rightfully). Anyway, my friend and I decided to do it to this one guy, who was an asshole.  We used our nail glue to freeze the lock and wrote in pencil " I glued you dick to your head, whick makes you a dickhead!".  5 times we did this.  Hee hee hee!  Awful kids we were!  

[CaricatureQualities]

I'm new to this thread and what have I been doing with my life avoiding Bro Gary?! I have not laughed this hard or long for a while, I still have tears in my eyes....I'm still rattled from a sudden HAY-MAYUN! that sent me nearly through the ceiling. You good sisters are hilarious,  I'm becoming a sister right now HAY-MAYUN! I have seen the light!

[mango_fandango]

Thing is, I’m not a massive alcohol drinker, and I feel like this could be an alcohol thing... although I’d probably spit it all out at the sudden HAY-MAYUNs. Plus it’s 3:30 am here, so not the time, plus I’ve cleaned my teeth so...

[Black Aliss]

On 2/27/2018 at 11:50 AM, pamplemousse said:

Don't give him any ideas in case he or Becky does (do?) read here.  No telling what they will come up with!

Sister Becky says, "Hold my beer."

1 hour ago, CaricatureQualities said:

I'm new to this thread and what have I been doing with my life avoiding Bro Gary?! I have not laughed this hard or long for a while, I still have tears in my eyes....I'm still rattled from a sudden HAY-MAYUN! that sent me nearly through the ceiling. You good sisters are hilarious,  I'm becoming a sister right now HAY-MAYUN! I have seen the light!

Sister Qualities, you are expected to publish your birth weight in order to remain in good standing with Team GeeHaw.

Sister Black, 9lb, 11 oz, in case anyone forgot.

[mango_fandango]

Ok folks,

I am probably going to have to watch at some point. I’ve been on the G-Haw threads since the beginning so I feel like I should. It took me a while to steel myself to watch any Duggar videos (clips on YouTube) but I eventually did. 

It’s late here so I’ll do it when I wake up.

Sis mango_fandango 

[Snarkylark]

19 hours ago, Lillymuffin said:

Seriously, would anyone blame her if she were? Everyone’s got their breaking point, poor woman. (Just to be clear, I am NOT advocating Gary-cide, just saying it would be understandable.) 

Sis Becky may not be trying to poison him but surely she, a former(?) nurse, knows that feeding him this way will surely lead to a heart attack. 

[General Jinjur]

9 hours ago, CaricatureQualities said:

I'm new to this thread and what have I been doing with my life avoiding Bro Gary?! I have not laughed this hard or long for a while, I still have tears in my eyes....I'm still rattled from a sudden HAY-MAYUN! that sent me nearly through the ceiling. You good sisters are hilarious,  I'm becoming a sister right now HAY-MAYUN! I have seen the light!

Welcome sis! May your weens be ever gravied. HAYMAYUN!

[FeministShrew]

Will someone please photoshop googly eyes on Bro. Gary's tongue? 

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

Ok folks

I'm a little late with this but... that tomato gravy. I showed it to my panel of Apparently Not Real Men (Bro JFH, my dad, my brother and one of my male friends) and they all without fail were repulsed (my father told me to "quit sending (him) pictures of disgusting food"  ) Bro JFH made a comment comparing it to one of our cats' hairballs, my friend just texted me back a sick emoji and my dear brother sent me this gem: 

 

Apparently since my guys don't like the good man food eating weens, they still must not be real men. (As I've said before though, all my guys are good partners to their spouses, fathers to their kids and not afraid to work hard and provide for their families instead of grifting. But I guess in Bro Gary's world that doesn't count for much, HAY-MAYUN)

Sis JFH, surrounded by Not Real Men

[Gimme a Free RV]

18 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

HALLAYLUYER!

"Sis Becky, keep a'shovelin' in them weens-n-gravy, hon!  I lik it whin u feed me lik a babie."

[MayMay1123]

it looks like bro g-haw is trying to get so large that he has to take to his bed and have becky wait on him. then he can get disability checks. if wonder how long becks would stick around...

sis hay-may-yen

[General Jinjur]

7 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

it looks like bro g-haw is trying to get so large that he has to take to his bed and have becky wait on him. then he can get disability checks. if wonder how long becks would stick around...

sis hay-may-yen

[Granwych]

55 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

it looks like bro g-haw is trying to get so large that he has to take to his bed and have becky wait on him. then he can get disability checks. if wonder how long becks would stick around...

sis hay-may-yen

She's already been around long enough to have figured out an escape route.  Poor dear!

Sister Granwych of the Order of Red Weens & Gravy.

Our order also sells Pepto Bismol and Maalox at deep discounts

[Gobsmacked]

10 hours ago, Snarkylark said:

Sis Becky may not be trying to poison him but surely she, a former(?) nurse, knows that feeding him this way will surely lead to a heart attack. 

That's her masterly master plan. Not detectable by the coroner unlike poison.

 May be she could pass on tips to Melania. I'm sure Herr Trumpen would just LOVE pink and red weenies swimming in matching gravy. His favourite sweeties for desert are that colour too I believe? 

 

[Gimme a Free RV]

How is are his selfie-video postures supposed to convey the message of truth, salvation, righteousness, and legalism to his target audience...whomever that may be?

To me (and I'm being snarky and mean) it conveys sloth, being out of shape, and apathy.  I sure do like to lounge around in my chair and on my bed but I'm not going to video myself in those positions.  Only my dogs get to see me lying around doing nothing.  They rather like it!  Of course, I'm not shouting HAY MAY-UN randomly, so there's that.

5 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

That's her masterly master plan. Not detectable by the coroner unlike poison.

Several years ago, I saw a movie on TV that was about a man who was cheating on his wife with another woman who wasn't aware that he was married.  Somehow, the two women found out about each other and devised a plan to cook this man's favorite dishes when he was with each one.  Even though he was full from one dinner, he didn't want to hurt the feelings of the other who had cooked vast amounts for him, so he basically was eating twice as much as he had before.  Their scheme worked.  He died of a heart attack.

[Granwych]

8 minutes ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

How is are his selfie-video postures supposed to convey the message of truth, salvation, righteousness, and legalism to his target audience...whomever that may be?

To me (and I'm being snarky and mean) it conveys sloth, being out of shape, and apathy.  I sure do like to lounge around in my chair and on my bed but I'm not going to video myself in those positions.  Only my dogs get to see me lying around doing nothing.  They rather like it!  Of course, I'm not shouting HAY MAY-UN randomly, so there's that.

Several years ago, I saw a movie on TV that was about a man who was cheating on his wife with another woman who wasn't aware that he was married.  Somehow, the two women found out about each other and devised a plan to cook this man's favorite dishes when he was with each one.  Even though he was full from one dinner, he didn't want to hurt the feelings of the other who had cooked vast amounts for him, so he basically was eating twice as much as he had before.  Their scheme worked.  He died of a heart attack.

I'm with the ladies who cooked up those black-eyed peas in "Goodbye Earl." 

[Georgiana]

12 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Thing is, I’m not a massive alcohol drinker, and I feel like this could be an alcohol thing... although I’d probably spit it all out at the sudden HAY-MAYUNs. Plus it’s 3:30 am here, so not the time, plus I’ve cleaned my teeth so...

I personally find that Bro Gary's videos pair nicely with a smoke of the jazz cabbage, though I understand that not everyone partakes of such sinful pleasures.  Probably still healthier for you than weens though.  

I would ALSO like to chastise Bro Gary for leading me into sin.  I enjoy watching Bro Gary while high so much that I sometimes spark one up as soon as I notice he's posted a new video...even if I had no plans to do so otherwise!  

1 minute ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

How is are his selfie-video postures supposed to convey the message of truth, salvation, righteousness, and legalism to his target audience...whomever that may be?

To me (and I'm being snarky and mean) it conveys sloth, being out of shape, and apathy.  I sure do like to lounge around in my chair and on my bed but I'm not going to video myself in those positions.  Only my dogs get to see me lying around doing nothing.  They rather like it!  Of course, I'm not shouting HAY MAY-UN randomly, so there's that.

Sloth and gluttony for sure. Pride also since he likes to compliment his own preaching with shouts of "Good Preachin!" I'm ALL for self-confidence and generally admire it (even when it is misplaced), but being compelled to yell compliments about your own preaching while preaching is some next level Pride in my book.

I'd say we get bits of Greed when Bro Gary begrudges other people (especially Sis Becky) buying things new for themselves because it's not cheap enough for his standards. Though that might be my Evil Catholic education showing through as we were taught that Greed the sin can extend into a person who may not be able to amass a fortune if they are unnecessarily and unkindly miserly.  Everyone deserves good things, and if you put the value of money above the value of the person, that's the sin of Greed...which I believe Gary stumbles into sometimes.

Wrath...once again we go back to my Evil Catholic education where I was taught that Wrath can encompass grudge holding.  And boy does this guy hold grudges.  Often about Santa.  

Envy?  We might actually miss this one!  Good job, Gary!

Lust, of course, is COMPLETELY off the table.  

So 5/7 sins.  GOOD PREACHIN!

[Dandruff]

At least the bed view skips his crotch and limits the journey up Nostril Lane.

[Nikedagain?]

On 2/28/2018 at 12:30 PM, General Jinjur said:

Ok folks, it might be time for me to update my avatar:

And for the record, I love tuna noodle casserole. 

Sis Jin

THIS MADE MY CRAPPY WEEK ALL BETTER, SIS!!!

 

[LovelyLuna]

2 hours ago, Georgiana said:

I personally find that Bro Gary's videos pair nicely with a smoke of the jazz cabbage, though I understand that not everyone partakes of such sinful pleasures.  Probably still healthier for you than weens though.  

I would ALSO like to chastise Bro Gary for leading me into sin.  I enjoy watching Bro Gary while high so much that I sometimes spark one up as soon as I notice he's posted a new video...even if I had no plans to do so otherwise!  

Well fuck sorry for the double posts but I can’t reply to the quote above.  

I medicate for a variety if reasons and FJ is my go to reading material while I light up.  The fundies are much more bareable through the haze of a nice uplifting sativa in the morning or a heavy indica at night.  I recommend it highly.   Haha no pun intended.

[Jellybean]

Watching the video from Tuesday night (it takes me a while to build up the strength) and spotted a comment:

Quote

I wounded be here tonight if it wasn’t for God

Is that you, @LovelyLuna, complaining about your wounds while high on pain meds? 

Wishing you a speedy recovery!

[Gimme a Free RV]

I say we pick a day and name it after our brother of holy slothfulness, the Evangelist Gary Hawkins.  (Here I go with yet another bulleted list.)

• Dress in your comfiest clothing.  If it needs mending, all the better.
• Wear a child's cowboy hat.  Avoid wearing Spanx that day, if at all possible.
• Take your own weens, gravy, biscuits, and Mountain Dew to work for lunch.  Bring enough to share, y'all!  It's lip-lickin' good!
• When you hand in a report, give a presentation, type correspondence, check on a patient, teach a class, mop the kitchen floor, walk your dog, take payment from a customer, etc. at work, finish by loudly proclaiming, "THAT'S GOOD WORK!"  If it doesn't make people jump, you haven't yelled suddenly and loudly enough.
• On the elevator, subway, bus, staircase, or crowded thoroughfare, fling your head back and shout "HAY MAY-UN" as randomly as you can, at the top of your lungs.  Then, lick your lips.
• Find a place to sit or lie down often during the day.  Be sure to take your shoes off.
• Post at least one video selfie to social media that day, wishing your brothers and sisters a happy GHaw Day.  (Tip:  be sure to hold your phone at crotch level when filming.) Lick your lips often.
• Carry an empty KFC bucket with you all day with a dollar or two thrown in, so others get the hint.
• Sing loudly and out of tune.  Choose a song with multiple verses.  Lick your lips between verses.
• If you speak English, avoid correct usage of grammar, syntax, spelling, and pronunciation. Remember to lick your lips.
• Rent a battered RV for the day.  If this isn't possible, spend the night in a local church basement.
• Read aloud an entire book from the KJB.  You have to draw a crowd when doing this.  And of course, lick your lips.