Bro Gary Hawkins 4: HAY-MAYUN!

[Texas Heifer]

I am currently exhibiting some seriously impressive avoidance behaviors re: G-Haw's latest video. It's as though it has conjunctivitis or is a booger stuck to the terlet seat. I don't know if I can bear watching him lick his lips, y'all. I'm cringing away from the thought, as though it's rotting roadkill on a hot day.

Maybe I will wait for Bro Tex to wake up from his nap for moral support...though tonight is date night and Gary might kill the mood. Or maybe I will watch it tomorrow, when the stakes are lower. Or maybe @Heathenmom's recap and @General Jinjur's (truly terrifying) new avatar will suffice.

[Granwych]

50 minutes ago, Texas Heifer said:

I am currently exhibiting some seriously impressive avoidance behaviors re: G-Haw's latest video. It's as though it has conjunctivitis or is a booger stuck to the terlet seat. I don't know if I can bear watching him lick his lips, y'all. I'm cringing away from the thought, as though it's rotting roadkill on a hot day.

Maybe I will wait for Bro Tex to wake up from his nap for moral support...though tonight is date night and Gary might kill the mood. Or maybe I will watch it tomorrow, when the stakes are lower. Or maybe @Heathenmom's recap and @General Jinjur's (truly terrifying) new avatar will suffice.

Just let Bro Tex study that video for some ideas about jump-starting date night.  Or not, as you might just burst out in laughter or tears if Bro nails those impressions. 

[Carol]

Horror Alert!  HorrorAlert!!  I looks like he's eating the tip of a penis.

Bless Me Father For I Have Sinned

[Granwych]

Oh, Carol!!!!

 

[PumaLover]

Omg stupid iPhone autocorrect, my post was Sis Coy Koi!!! And Sis Jin, as promised, I am cackling with joy at your profile pic. Great job!

 

ETA: Lovely Luna I hope you recover quickly! Broke my leg just before Christmas and I know crutches suck so much!!!

[Lillymuffin]

On 2/28/2018 at 1:26 AM, Ozlsn said:

I am not convinced that Sis Becky is not trying to poison Bro Gary. Judging by that last meal at least.

Seriously, would anyone blame her if she were? Everyone’s got their breaking point, poor woman. (Just to be clear, I am NOT advocating Gary-cide, just saying it would be understandable.) 

[FundMe]

On ‎2‎/‎28‎/‎2018 at 1:26 AM, Ozlsn said:

I am not convinced that Sis Becky is not trying to poison Bro Gary. Judging by that last meal at least.

Glory Be.........you might have a valid point there.  Getting caught up here and wishing (or not?) I could get on FB, but no, ya'll just have me falling out of my chair at my blessed workplace again.  Let me assure you that nasty red mess is not, I repeat, IS NOT Southern cooking.  My southern-is-as-southern-can-be grandmother was an excellent cook (well, still is but the nursing home won't let her - same as driving the car) and she taught me most of what she knows.  I have never seen such an abomination in my life.  I've never even seen a recipe for it in the church ladies' cookbooks.  So no, just no.  That belongs to Sis Becky alone.    Thank you all for relieving my work stress.

Sis Saw

(Hey, that has a ring to it!)

[General Jinjur]

Ok folks, Bro Ween has posted a new video. For this one, he props himself up in bed. HAYMAYUN! 

[General Jinjur]

HALLAYLUYER!

[catlady]

Ok folks. I have not subjected myself to a Bro Gary video yet, but thanks to your many still shots of the Big G reclining and/or lying down, I frequently have concerns for his mobility.  Granted, we’ve also seen fairly recent pics of him standing (i.e. the suit that Jesus gave him), but it’s the reclining that gets to me. I have three relatives whose near constant reclining has genuinely restricted their mobility; one of them can’t get out of bed without assistance anymore. And with two of them, laziness was truly a contributing factor; they had someone else in the house to do/fetch/enable for them. So I keep wanting to shout at Bro Gary to fucking stand up when he makes these videos. If he can’t be bothered to sit up straight when preaching at his viewers, then why the hell should they listen to him?  

Sorry for the rant; some things just push my buttons the wrong way, and this is one of them. 

[Ozlsn]

On 28/02/2018 at 10:15 PM, Granwych said:

I daresay she'll need to up her game.

Yeah... she needs to check out the suicide casserole on the Maxhell blog and maybe get creative. How long do weens keep? 

9 hours ago, SawScar2017 said:

Glory Be.........you might have a valid point there.  Getting caught up here and wishing (or not?) I could get on FB, but no, ya'll just have me falling out of my chair at my blessed workplace again.  Let me assure you that nasty red mess is not, I repeat, IS NOT Southern cooking.  My southern-is-as-southern-can-be grandmother was an excellent cook (well, still is but the nursing home won't let her - same as driving the car) and she taught me most of what she knows.  I have never seen such an abomination in my life.  I've never even seen a recipe for it in the church ladies' cookbooks.  So no, just no.  That belongs to Sis Becky alone.    Thank you all for relieving my work stress.

Sis Saw

(Hey, that has a ring to it!)

The bolded firstly made me laugh and is absolutely the best indicator of non-authenticity. Heh.

[Gobsmacked]

Could a kind sister post the latest videos? Currently suffering the "Beast from the east sans heat and hot water due to aging boiler having died. Not fun. Need entertaining!

Thank you.

Sis GS

[Georgiana]

@General Jinjur

I cannot with your avatar....just....HAYMAYUN HALLELUYER PRAISE RUFUS.

[catlady]

8 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

Could a kind sister post the latest videos? Currently suffering the "Beast from the east sans heat and hot water due to aging boiler having died. Not fun. Need entertaining!

Thank you.

Sis GS

I feel your pain, well part of it anyway; I just had to order a burner assembly for my hot water tank last night because it crapped out after 17 years of loyal service.  Washing my hair in cold water sucks. But at least you do not live with Bro Gary and the Scary Tongue of Doom. 

[LovelyLuna]

heller folks, Sis Luna here reporting from my couch made into a bed. ::fluffs pillows and cracked knuckles::

I am not glad.  I am not glad I had surgery yesterday.  I have examined my decisions and I decide I did wrong.  Trusting surgeons, what was I thrinkin. I should gone seen my Chroptator.  Saton got to my doctor's action and he didn’t gift me any pain meds.  His testimony was that ibuprofen would heal all my woes.  He was wrong! I know! Halleruya! So I blew my Apple Trumpet in his direction so I could see the glory of pain releaf.  Rufus bless he gleaned me some of the good stuff. Problem now is Bro Luna is at an ebil job and cannot bring me my savor until the end of the normal work day.  Damn Rep-to-bate.  I shall pray that this day goes faster then a fart after bad weens.  Raman. 

[General Jinjur]

25 minutes ago, LovelyLuna said:

heller folks, Sis Luna here reporting from my couch made into a bed. ::fluffs pillows and cracked knuckles::

I am not glad.  I am not glad I had surgery yesterday.  I have examined my decisions and I decide I did wrong.  Trusting surgeons, what was I thrinkin. I should gone seen my Chroptator.  Saton got to my doctor's action and he didn’t gift me any pain meds.  His testimony was that ibuprofen would heal all my woes.  He was wrong! I know! Halleruya! So I blew my Apple Trumpet in his direction so I could see the glory of pain releaf.  Rufus bless he gleaned me some of the good stuff. Problem now is Bro Luna is at an ebil job and cannot bring me my savor until the end of the normal work day.  Damn Rep-to-bate.  I shall pray that this day goes faster then a fart after bad weens.  Raman. 

Praise Rufus for pain killers! Hope you have a speedy recovery. HAYMAYUN!

[Gobsmacked]

Dear Sis Catlady

Sorry to hear that you too are suffering. I boiled a kettle to wash my hair today. Is your electricity affected also?

Yours in sisterly freezing-ness

Sis GS

[catlady]

My dear Sis GS,

Rufus has blessed us in that we do have power, heat, and cold running water. We are bathing by filling the tub and adding a large kettle of boiling water; Rufus has smote us because this requires carrying the kettle up a flight of stairs.  I had channeled Say-un away from the godly and gun-happy Jill Rodrigues by cheating last night when I washed my hair in the sink without benefit of water warmed by the very breath of our lord. As such, Rufus H. Reindeer has only inconvenienced my unholy and secular family, but the joke will be on Him tomorrow when we consider renting a hotel room for an hour to take turns at hot showers. 

Can i get a HAY-MAYUN!!!!!!

yours in frigid waters testing our faith in the Almighty Rufus, 

Sis CL 

P.S.  I will prostrate myself in gratitude before the heavenly UPS guy when he delivers that burner assembly, and also the friend who will install it for me!!  

[Gobsmacked]

Dear Sis Catlady

Be safe in your freezing ablutions.

Bro GS had to have his car repaired last week at great cost without grifting for salvation but grafting for legitimate pay. HAY-MAYUN. Hence myself, ,#1and #2 cannot retreat to warm hotel room as we had planned. Sa'an was lurking under the bonnet big style just knowing the beast was approaching us. 

If Sa'an is kind to our wonderful boiler man and leads the snow plough to dig him out of his obviously un-godly cottage on the morrow, we may have heat AND hot water by late on Friday. 

Prayers to the might wean god requested that this wish shall come to pass.

Sis GS ( who has resorted to drinking beer previously being stored on the snowy balcony for the weekend)

ps sadly the beast has decided to hang around a wee bit longer.

[catlady]

My dear Sis GS,

i have lighted a candle at the altar of your blessed boiler man that he may find his way to your major appliance and lay its warmth on your collective hearts. 

Say-un shall return to JRod’s can-o-beans so that Bro GS’s car will right itself in Rufus’s shining light. 

May your hearth be warm and your beers be cold, 

Sis CL

[Granwych]

Luna, your literary finesse, and General, that repulsive avatar are just killing me here (and that's what I need right this moment!!)

That's all for now,

Sister Granwych of the Where's My Damn Wine and Batteries Sorrows

[Texas Heifer]

5 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

HALLAYLUYER!

I have rarely laughed so loudly in my LIFE as I did when I scrolled down to this, Sis.

[mango_fandango]

Ok folks,

I have never braved a Bro Gary video and don’t intend to. I wish there was some way of captioning Facebook videos so that I could watch them with the sound muted. 

Am I mad?

Sis mango_fandango

[Granwych]

2 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Ok folks,

I have never braved a Bro Gary video and don’t intend to. I wish there was some way of captioning Facebook videos so that I could watch them with the sound muted. 

Am I mad?

Sis mango_fandango

Oh, hell no, Sis Mango, you've got your head and your priorities straight there!

Sis Granwych of the See Above

[Dandruff]

5 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

HALLAYLUYER!

Did he just shit the bed?