Lori Alexander 36: Still Confused on What Discipline Really Means

[TeddyBonkers]

4 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

That's what I was thinking. And then it made perfect sense as to why a woman could just remarry the first godly man that popped up. A man isn't really anything more than a bank for them it seems. He doesn't really need to be home, he doesn't have emotional involvement in the home because he's the godly leader and provider, he isn't raising the children and he isn't teaching them. Essentially the father is replaceable so long as he's a male who can work and provide sperm for more children. That's the sense I get. "Who cares about his mental and emotional health?" Is what they're saying.

I'm bringing another blog family into this discussion-are any of you familiar with Emily Martin of "Freckled Fox"? She is a Mormon Mommy blogger. Her husband Martin passed away of cancer, leaving her a widow with 5 kids. She remarried SUPER quickly (like within 3 months quickly). In her defense, she had known the guy in high school? However, there has been a negligent discharge of a weapon in their home, leading to both Emily and her new husband being wounded. She's pregnant, too. Oy.

[lilwriter85]

4 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

That's what I was thinking. And then it made perfect sense as to why a woman could just remarry the first godly man that popped up. A man isn't really anything more than a bank for them it seems. He doesn't really need to be home, he doesn't have emotional involvement in the home because he's the godly leader and provider, he isn't raising the children and he isn't teaching them. Essentially the father is replaceable so long as he's a male who can work and provide sperm for more children. That's the sense I get. "Who cares about his mental and emotional health?" Is what they're saying.

I also find it sad that they don't think or care about emotional involvement of fathers in the home.  I really dislike their attitudes that the father's role should just be "provider" and that's it. There is a fangirl who recently said that she was a single mom of 2 kids for eight years. She remarried and her new husband works multiple jobs so she can stay at home. This might sound bitchy of me, but I wonder if her new husband's friends or family view her as taking advantage of him for financial purposes and are probably hoping that he wises up and leaves her.

[lilwriter85]

57 minutes ago, TeddyBonkers said:

I'm bringing another blog family into this discussion-are any of you familiar with Emily Martin of "Freckled Fox"? She is a Mormon Mommy blogger. Her husband Martin passed away of cancer, leaving her a widow with 5 kids. She remarried SUPER quickly (like within 3 months quickly). In her defense, she had known the guy in high school? However, there has been a negligent discharge of a weapon in their home, leading to both Emily and her new husband being wounded. She's pregnant, too. Oy.

 

Whenever Lori or other bloggers encourages widows to find husbands quickly it bugs me. I think they need some to really grieve and allow their kids to grieve as well. Some FJers are following Daniel and Brittany Brooker. Daniel was left a widower with two kids after his wife Lyndsie died of cancer. Lyndsie was blogger. Brittany has three kids and became a widow after her husband Patrick died unexpectedly due to a heart issue. The deaths of Lyndsie and Patrick were in 2015. Daniel and Brittany married this past summer. I didn't view that as quickly because from reading both Daniel and Brittany's blogs they did take time to grieve with their kids. Freckled Fox and her husband still seem like a mess. The marriage seemed very much on whim and IIRC, he didn't work for several months when after to Idaho due to nursing license issues.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

More horrible medical advice. Notice nowhere in the cited sources does it mention to take Lori's magical potion. 

Flu can be deadly to small kids. I imagine the woman who reads Lori's advice and doesn't do anything because lemon. 

 

[FundieFarmer]

Um. If we LIKE fevers then why are we always trying to break them? Why do we feel better immediately after they’re broken?

Lori...

[Anna Arkadyevna]

Kinda wish Lori had treated her brain tumor with lemon and honey...

[jerkit]

Are spouses just interchangeable to these people?

[Emilycharlotte]

18 minutes ago, jerkit said:

Are spouses just interchangeable to these people?

Other peoples' spouses are. They are very good at "exhorting" others to make bad decisions and be miserable while finding loopholes for themselves.

[TeddyBonkers]

45 minutes ago, jerkit said:

Are spouses just interchangeable to these people?

People are defined by their genitalia,  so yeah. Men have a penis, so they earn the money! Women have a vaginal so they have the babies! Don't have a man? Find one so you can fulfill your purpose! 

BARF.

[Emilycharlotte]

A study from 1980 concluded that sometimes parents over-react to fevers, so of course Lori concludes that all fevers are harmless and nothing to worry about, ever---which the article doesn't say, and which is downright dangerous advice for parents of small babies, or immune-suppressed kids, or potentially any kid if the fever gets too high. 

And honestly, if one of Lori's grandkids had a fever spiking really high, I absolutely believe she would seek medical help. Like an abused wife, a dangerous fever would be an "exception" that wasn't worth mentioning--except there are people out there clueless enough to not realize when they need help because a meme and a crackpot on the internet said fevers are NBD. 

(Sorry to get worked up. Is this how you know when you need a break from Lori?)

[EowynW]

Fever is a sign that your body is attacking the bad bugs, but yikes, you are still supposed to monitor how high it gets and do something about it if it's too high. 

[fundamentallyfearless]

1 hour ago, Anna Arkadyevna said:

Kinda wish Lori had treated her brain tumor with lemon and honey...

I also hope that she one day has NO CHOICE but to receive some sort of crucial medical treatment... from a successful female surgeon who is a mother AND a pastor... LOL

1 minute ago, EowynW said:

Fever is a sign that your body is attacking the bad bugs, but yikes, you are still supposed to monitor how high it gets and do something about it if it's too high. 

Right?!?! I had the flu last week.  My fever didn't go up very high at all.  I was at 100.7 at the highest, but it was MISERABLE.  When I used Tylenol and hydration to bring it down, I felt TONS better.  It would spike back up as soon as the meds wore off and then I was back to feeling horrid.  Fevers are no joke and I hate that she gives medical advice to uneducated mothers who have children that will suffer because of Lori's advice...

1 hour ago, jerkit said:

Are spouses just interchangeable to these people?

I have no idea but I know for DAMN sure that my husband is one-of-a-kind.  I believe that people CAN have multiple soul mates... but you better believe that if my amazing husband died it would take me YEARS to recover enough to remarry... if ever.  The only reason I would remarry honestly is because we have no children and I do want to become a biological mother.  But if we have kids down the road and he passes away... I might not even feel the need to remarry ever.  I know that sounds weird but my point is that my husband is in NO way replaceable.  I don't understand why people marry other people just for money or sex.  There are so many amazing things about our marriage that I cannot fathom being happily married to anyone else.  My hubby has increased my happiness tenfold but promotes my independence and lets me be my own person.  I so adore him.

[dairyfreelife]

2 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

More horrible medical advice. Notice nowhere in the cited sources does it mention to take Lori's magical potion. 

Flu can be deadly to small kids. I imagine the woman who reads Lori's advice and doesn't do anything because lemon. 

 

Yeah, don't worry about fevers. They are not dangerous. True that mild fevers are a response and mostly harmless, but it does mean that something is up with the body be it a virus or bacteria or some issue. 

I have a relative who, at the age 4 or 5 caught the measles. It was the 1940s. Her fever spiked and her father took her to the doctor but they struggled to get her fever down to a safe temperature. The result: she ended up brain damaged with the mind of a child for life. My great-grandmother and some of her other sisters helped raise her until she was forced to put her niece in an institution after her own husband had a stroke that left him paralyzed and unable to walk or talk. 

But you know, should have just had some lemon and honey water, right? Also, vaccine preventable illnesses are totally not dangerous. 

[SilverBeach]

Lori is a damn fool, practicing medicine without a license, and her dad is a doctor! I will get my medical advice from a licensed professional, thank you. Plus, Lori is hardly a paragon of glowing good health. She had worms! I have never had that shit and I don't do woo. Back to the Sister Wives thread.

[HoneyBunny]

3 hours ago, jerkit said:

Are spouses just interchangeable to these people?

This. I will never understand it. I had no intention of getting married for years, if ever. Then I met my future husband. Even then, we waited until I finished college, spent a couple of years in a job that involved 80% travel, and lived a little. Marriage wasn’t the goal, it was a natural result of a deep connection and love. 

35 years later, I am at the age where certainly parents and even friends are losing their spouses, and talk naturally turns to, “Would you ever re-marry?”.  Once again, it’s an easy choice for me. No way, never, I would work at McDs or WalMart at 70 years old if necessary. But, if the right guy happened to come along, and we also developed a deep connection and love...who knows?

It’s about the person, not the paycheck  

i am convinced that Lori and her fan girls see a husband as nothing more than $$$ and an opportunity to be a (pretend) submissive wife. What sad and sorry role models they are for their kids. 

[Beermeet]

1 hour ago, fundamentallyfearless said:

I also hope that she one day has NO CHOICE but to receive some sort of crucial medical treatment... from a successful female surgeon who is a mother AND a pastor... LOL

Right?!?! I had the flu last week.  My fever didn't go up very high at all.  I was at 100.7 at the highest, but it was MISERABLE.  When I used Tylenol and hydration to bring it down, I felt TONS better.  It would spike back up as soon as the meds wore off and then I was back to feeling horrid.  Fevers are no joke and I hate that she gives medical advice to uneducated mothers who have children that will suffer because of Lori's advice...

I have no idea but I know for DAMN sure that my husband is one-of-a-kind.  I believe that people CAN have multiple soul mates... but you better believe that if my amazing husband died it would take me YEARS to recover enough to remarry... if ever.  The only reason I would remarry honestly is because we have no children and I do want to become a biological mother.  But if we have kids down the road and he passes away... I might not even feel the need to remarry ever.  I know that sounds weird but my point is that my husband is in NO way replaceable.  I don't understand why people marry other people just for money or sex.  There are so many amazing things about our marriage that I cannot fathom being happily married to anyone else.  My hubby has increased my happiness tenfold but promotes my independence and lets me be my own person.  I so adore him.

So much yes!  No need to add anymore, just, me too.  And, can you imagine thinking of our spouses and treating our spouses like Lori does?  I can't,  I love and respect my husband as himself, my partner and as a father to our children.  We both deserve a good fulfilling life separately and together .   These fundie couples are missing out.  They intentionally make life harder.   Weirdos.

[Sarah92]

I have to really say that I'm glad I've found egalitarianism and feminism. Reading the stuff she posts and the things I've seen other more prominent church leaders post make marriage seem miserable and empty. If I hadn't found egalitarianism I'd probably never want to marry. Now I know there's hope. And it great to read y'all posts talking about your marriages. You go ladies! 

[Curious]

On 1/6/2018 at 11:19 PM, lilwriter85 said:

I wonder if Ken is fed up with the high cost of living in Cali and wants to retire somewhere that has lower cost of living.

I'm guessing taxes on a million dollar+ home are pretty expensive.  Since the new tax changes hit the blue states with high COL (CA, NY, NJ etc) that is at least part of the incentive to move.  Being capped at $10,000 is going to mean paying a lot more in taxes.

From further back in this thread:  If seeing a 9 and 11 year old in a bikini is causing MEN to stumble, that is absolutely a problem with the MEN.  These are little kids.  They should not be sexually attractive to grown ass men.   If my husband was eyeing little kids, there would be some serious talk and therapy involved, not shaming little kids for being little kids.   She is so gross and nasty.

[freealljs]

Is everyone sure that Ken wants to move? Did she mention it in her super secret group?

Also, I looked up the sources that Lori cited on her fever post IG. One has to do with fever phobia, that parents are over-concerned when their newborns get fevers, and how pediatricians need to educate parents of when they should seek medical help.  No mention of honey and lemon.  The other has to do with medical students who need to take their medical board exams. One group received Osteopathic Manipulative Treatment (OMT) and the other did not. So, how does that translate to newborns exactly?  

Ah well. Time to take my sick butt to bed. I took my grownup fever phobia yesterday to urgent care and found that I have a respiratory infection.  Lots of meds and 2 days of bed rest. 

[jerkit]

13 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

People are defined by their genitalia,  so yeah. Men have a penis, so they earn the money! Women have a vaginal so they have the babies! Don't have a man? Find one so you can fulfill your purpose! 

BARF.

I lost my husband! Oh well, I'll just find a new one!

Spouses are not a coffee mug. 

[EowynW]

Newborns receive adjustments often after birth, atleast in my area because we have some great chiros,  but I've never heard of adjusting a newborn for a fever. I'm pretty crunchy but in I say BS on that bit of advice. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

What a nice passive jab at her neighbor. Truth is she is pissed her neighbor prevented her from having juicy oranges for 20 years! Of course it can't be the Alexanders fault that their orange tree didn't grow for everything on their land is blessed by God. 

 

Look at this madness. A 2 year with 106 temp needs to go to the ER!

 

Lori never took her kids temperature!! And what fever reducer did Lindy give then? Why so secretive? I always though Tylenol was easier on the body than Advil. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

What is polysorbate80?

 

[jerkit]

"more concerned about shopping" Wait, what ? Who said anything about shopping?

[AlwaysDiscerning]

WOW, here we have it carved in stone. Lori saying a 106 fever is NOT dangerous. Only 107 is dangerous! My freaking God!!!!!!!!!!!! Does she know how quickly 106 can go to 107 and you better be in the hospital when that happens.  Remember the godly mentor is always right. She is going to be arguing all day about this. 

 

oh and brain damage GENERALLY doesn't occur until 107.6. GENERALLY, Lori. That doesn't mean its a hard and fast rule.