Lori Alexander 36: Still Confused on What Discipline Really Means

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

 

[Beermeet]

I've always wanted to comment on Ken's chosen field.  Seeing as I am in the same field but part of a dental/orthodontic team, not a consultant.  I've worked in practices with and without a consultant employed.  This may seem like an opinion but it's more of a truth.  Dentists that use a consultant ( who cost them a pretty penny) are bad at money management,  the social skills and good practice building.  Those offices always have high employee and patient turnovers in part because the consultant needs to make themselves seem important.  The truth and of the matter is you don't need one.  Reminds me of salesmen, like, can be helpful but you can buy stuff on your own with a bit of research.  Those consultants, like Ken, have rarely actually worked in the field.  They go to conferences to better hone their angle, just like I have been to when I ran a dental office for 6 years.  So, I am impressed he's done well for himself financially but, it also gives me a glimpse into his hustle and character.  It's kinda shady.  In fact, $cientology is big into it.  I actually got tricked into going to one seminar with my former boss.  They make seem like a good topic for continuing education credits but it's really a "let scientology into your practice" money thing.  And, boy was that scene weird!  They had mints called " bye polar" with a polor bear logo on every table.  A nod, I suppose.  They also pretty much had minder types not so inconspicuously peeking at any notes we were taking.  My boss and I were writing back and forth ragging on them and pissed we got tricked. That got us double the minder types.  My boss knew about them but they changed the company name.  I ate a mint before I knew and I still feel weird about it! Lol

Pardon the long post!

[mango_fandango]

Here to post my usual LORI IS BATSHIT comment. I don’t even pretend to understand her. 

[Koala]

So Lori made a notebook doodle quoting Matt Walsh.  The gist?  Don't make lists for your husband (never mind that it might work for your family).

A FB reader responds:

Quote

Where do you guys come up with this stuff

Correct answer: Matt Walsh

Lori's answer:  

Quote

The Bible

Nope.  Sorry, but "Thou shalt not make a to-do list for thine husband" is not in the Bible, unless there's a Book of Matt Walsh.  Pretending that it is from the Bible is adding to scripture...pretty sure that's frowned upon.

On Dec. 13th Lori posted the following quote:

Quote

“Keepers at home: minding their own family affairs, not gadding abroad (beyond or out of the walls of a house); and inspecting into, and busying themselves about other people’s matters. 

Yet here Lori is, not one month later, "gadding abroad" inspecting into, and busying herself with other people's matters.  What business is it of hers if a wife leaves her husband a list?  According to her own post on the 13th?  NONE.  It's none of her business at all.  She should be minding her own family's affairs. 

[Beermeet]

@Pammy.  Your definition of discipline is more akin to most parents definition.  I totally agree that IF a child is able to comprehend, redirection and a gentle loving correction is proper.  However, this is Lori we are talking about.  Her definition of discipline is to hit, beat even.  She doesn't hide it.  So, any discussion of such is wildly different from ours.  That is what horrifies me when women with severely disabled children reach out to her and talk discipline.  She is not like us, not reasonable.  They are talking about the physical.

Talk about giving heart pieces away, smh.  These sorts worry about dating messing up heart pieces while thinking nothing about how hitting one's children messes up both the parents and childrens hearts.  It creates a divide.  Ruins trust and safety.  Idk if I am making sense, I find this all so upsetting.  I need to back off this thread, as usual. 

[EowynW]

My husband is the absent minded professor. If I didn't make him lists then nothing would get done on weekends lol. 

[EowynW]

It actually does call us to submit to each other in the lord, you fool. 

[SuperNova]

@EowynW Mr. Nova is the same way. We make our weekend lists together on Friday night if we know there's going to be a lot to do. It helps prioritize in case we run out of time. 

[fundamentallyfearless]

Here to chime in about kids with special needs:

OBVIOUSLY what Lori advocates is wrong and she is full of shit. I’ll start with that, because it’s true.

However, I would just like to point out that “punishment”, as some have mentioned, doesn’t always mean “hitting”. I do behavior therapy with some very “severe” kiddos. You’d be surprised to see that they understand a LOT. As in, many of them know EXACTLY what is going on. Sometimes punishment is definitely warranted. But, I mean punishment as in taking away a toy or using a time-out. Obviously NOT the type of punishment Lori advocates. So, just spreading awareness for kids with special needs! They’re all very smart and *MOST* are entirely aware, even if they don’t always seem to be.

End of rant  

[Sarah92]

I simply can't understand what's so wrong about making request of your husband and expecting him to maybe follow through with stuff. It's like she'd rather encourage women to beg friends and children to do things for them. Although I do have to say unless there's a disability most women should be able to put a nail in the wall. Of course she later says she wouldn't expect her husband to put his daughter's hair in a ponytail. What keeps both of them from doing those things?

[ViolaSebastian]

That just strikes me as ridiculously extreme. Wives aren't allowed to ask their husbands to do anything at all?? Even hang a picture?? 

So wives have to be maids, broodmares, sex dolls, short-order cooks, housekeepers, teach and raise their children with no help from their husbands, not have an opinion about anything that directly affects them, and oh yeah, make a little bit of money on the side working from home and men...what? Go to work? And that's it? So women work for 15 or 16 hours a day and men for 8? If I had to be married Lori's way, I'd just rather be a Sarah Maxwell or Jana Duggar. 

[Sarah92]

27 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

That just strikes me as ridiculously extreme. Wives aren't allowed to ask their husbands to do anything at all?? Even hang a picture?? 

So wives have to be maids, broodmares, sex dolls, short-order cooks, housekeepers, teach and raise their children with no help from their husbands, not have an opinion about anything that directly affects them, and oh yeah, make a little bit of money on the side working from home and men...what? Go to work? And that's it? So women work for 15 or 16 hours a day and men for 8? If I had to be married Lori's way, I'd just rather be a Sarah Maxwell or Jana Duggar. 

I think you've pretty much summed it up. Don't watch the news, don't vote, don't worry about things outside your own home (even children being sex trafficked, because we shouldn't care about human rights), ask your husband for nothing or ask if you can ask him for things, give birth to as many children as possible and homeschool them all. Don't  forget to be cheerful no matter what and keep yourself fit and pretty. Did I forget anything? 

[Koala]

Reader:

Quote

I am not against spanking, but in all seriousness what could a child that can’t walk, talk or do anything for themselves do that would require a punishment?

Well, Lori?  

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Marriage isn't about being a team!

 

[ViolaSebastian]

Lori's really showing her ignorance, here, because even though he holds authority over me, I still consider my boss (and, I should add, he considers himself) part of our team at work. To use a similar analogy, don't most sports coaches consider themselves a part of the team? I mean, if everyone is working towards the same goal, it makes sense.

[louisa05]

21 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Lori's really showing her ignorance, here, because even though he holds authority over me, I still consider my boss (and, I should add, he considers himself) part of our team at work. To use a similar analogy, don't most sports coaches consider themselves a part of the team? I mean, if everyone is working towards the same goal, it makes sense.

I have never coached sports, but I coached competitive speech. The most successful team I ever had was the two years that I had highly motivated upperclassmen on my team who led the rest of the team. Most coaches will tell you that it is when team members take on leadership to motivate each other and push each other that you have a successful team. The coach can't do it all because it isn't as effective when it is top down. The coach has to be part of it, but can't do it alone. 

Here's a sports example: Nebraska just won an absolutely improbable NCAA volleyball championship. They lost four All-Americans on last year's team. They had eight new players on the roster, mostly freshmen, and some true freshmen started. Both assistant coaches from last year moved on to head coaching jobs, so they had new coaches to work with. No one expected them to be in the Final Four, let alone win it all. The coach, who, granted, is a volleyball and coaching genius, credits the team. Some upperclassmen came to him wanting to do a presentation to the rest during the preseason. They had come up with two mottoes for the season: "With each other, for each other" and "Why not us?" and had a powerpoint presentation about how they would play and practice and relate to each other as a team to fulfill those mottoes. All he did from there--in terms of motivating them-- was buy into the plan that they made. If he had said "no, that's not my plan, and you must submit to my plan; and you can't have a motto that you chose because I'm the coach and I choose everything", I doubt there would be a new trophy in the case and a new banner in their arena. 

[delphinium65]

9 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

That just strikes me as ridiculously extreme. Wives aren't allowed to ask their husbands to do anything at all?? Even hang a picture?? 

 

I guess a man is supposed to read his wife's mind and just know when something needs done, because as a man he is of course perfect, knows all, and sees all.  Men never, ever simply don't notice things, right?  

Speaking of noticing...I just noticed part of what Lori quotes from the Pearls in her diatribe about contempt:  'As a young unmarried person, if you see any of this in your attitude toward your parents or others in authority, you will be bringing disease to your marriage. Get it straight while still single, or simply don’t ever marry. '  I'm surprised that Lori didn't correct that to 'Get it straight while still single, because you have to get married.  It's God's Perfect Plan for every women, everywhere.' 

[louisa05]

15 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

I guess a man is supposed to read his wife's mind and just know when something needs done, because as a man he is of course perfect, knows all, and sees all.  Men never, ever simply don't notice things, right?  

If a man doesn't notice it, is it even necessary? Isn't something a man doesn't notice just something that a woman thinks needs done because she is emotional? 

I assume that's answer. 

[EowynW]

1 hour ago, delphinium65 said:

I guess a man is supposed to read his wife's mind and just know when something needs done, because as a man he is of course perfect, knows all, and sees all.  Men never, ever simply don't notice things, right?  

Speaking of noticing...I just noticed part of what Lori quotes from the Pearls in her diatribe about contempt:  'As a young unmarried person, if you see any of this in your attitude toward your parents or others in authority, you will be bringing disease to your marriage. Get it straight while still single, or simply don’t ever marry. '  I'm surprised that Lori didn't correct that to 'Get it straight while still single, because you have to get married.  It's God's Perfect Plan for every women, everywhere.' 

Before I got married, in my late 20s, if I ever  "rebelled" "defied" "disobeyed" or "disrespected" my Dad, he would start ranting and raving and saying "if you can't obey and respect me how will you ever obey and respect your husband." It was so sickening. 

[Sarah92]

Wtf with today's cross dressing post?? And really how dare she use that young lady's picture for her own purposes. I might have to see if I can pull it and let her know her picture has been used.

annnd it's hypocritical because Lori wears jeans and plaid. Is she dressing up like a lumber jack? Does she only wear dresses and skirts? What does feminine clothes look like? A certain color, style, shape? Is my blouse and blazer too masculine because it might look like I'm trying to wear a suit? Ehh never mind, I wear immodest skinny jeans almost everyday so I'm probably doomed to hell by her standards regardless. 

[TeddyBonkers]

I'm sorry, has Dalrock ever been in the military? He can eat a giant bag of dicks. I LOVED being in the Army. I even miss Chicken Tetrazzini MREs. 

 

[delphinium65]

39 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

Wtf with today's cross dressing post?? And really how dare she use that young ladies picture for her own purposes. I might have to see if I can pull it and let her know her picture has been used.

1

I found the pic here  https://pixabay.com/en/bodyworn-body-camera-794110/  Seems to be 'Free for commercial use' and 'No attribution required,' so I dunno if anything can be done. 

As for the cross-dressing...I'm currently wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt (purchased from Woot.com, men's sizing, yay!), so call me a cross-dresser, I'm OK with that.  I've got more important things to think about than looking 'ladylike.'

44 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Before I got married, in my late 20s, if I ever  "rebelled" "defied" "disobeyed" or "disrespected" my Dad, he would start ranting and raving and saying "if you can't obey and respect me how will you ever obey and respect your husband." It was so sickening. 

 

Ack.      I prefer respecting my husband because he has earned it, and because he respects me.  And obey?  I will consider anything he asks me to do, and will likely do it just because he asks, but obey orders?  Haha!  Not happening. 

[Imrlgoddess]

1 hour ago, TeddyBonkers said:

I'm sorry, has Dalrock ever been in the military? He can eat a giant bag of dicks. I LOVED being in the Army. I even miss Chicken Tetrazzini MREs. 

 

I used to dig through the boxes for that one! That & the tortellini, it was always in the "vegetarian" box. 

Also: Lori is a gold digging hippocrite with delusions of godhood and I agree that Dalrock can suck it. 

Carry on. 

[louisa05]

So if Lori thinks that women wearing jeans/pants is actually cross-dressing, perhaps she should go back to skirts only (which she did for what, one day? Maybe two?). 

[Frog99]

I think her fangirls have no ability to see what a hypocrite she is simply because she posts what they want to hear- it’s an echo chamber for them. And who on earth is that Dalrock? He seems to have some major issues.