Seewalds 28: Marketing Kids as Deflection

[treehugger]

Two daughters in this house. When they were babies they only wore sleepers and onesies. I'm a jeans, hoodie and sweatpants kind of person, and couldn't be bothered to dress them up as babies. Comfy clothes for the win!

They are now 3 and 5, and love dresses and leggings (preferably pink and sparkly), and I am going to roll with it. Self-expression is important, and clothing is pretty harmless. I also loved wearing frilly pink dresses at that age. 

But I am terrible at doing hair, so no fancy hair bows and styles for them. Actually, we have a rule in this house that if they won't let mommy brush out the knots in their hair, it gets cut. They both sport cute little bobs that require no extra fuss and are easy to brush. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On ‎12‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 8:39 AM, sta_sha said:

In my just over three weeks as a parent, the only thing I can say for sure is that I hope that the person who decided that any baby clothes should have snaps is in a special place in hell. Those things are impossible at 2AM. Can't imagine trying to do them up on a wiggling toddler...

Zippers FTW!

I loved what we called Bag O'Baby Infant gowns with elastic at the bottom, best thing ever 24/7 for the first 6 to 8 weeks because newborns are assholes who never sleep when you want/need them too.  But they are tiny and cute so you forgive them. 

And yes that is sarcasm.  But I do love the baby gowns. 

 

[justoneoftwo]

My headship and I have both ben offended by people thinking LO was a girl.  He was offended because 1. LO hadn't been sleeping and he was super sleep deprived and someone made an assumption (I think it was mostly the fact that when your that tired dealing with people is hard).  I was offended because the person then went on a rant explaining why they were sure he was a "princess" because of the red shirt and something.  It felt like this random stranger was telling me I was dressing my kid wrong.  I don't care if you guess wrong (its weird to say a one year old is a beautiful princess but whatever) but don't get all defensive and tell me my kid shouldn't wear his favorite shirt!

[SassyPants]

On 12/18/2017 at 1:22 AM, Eternalbluepearl said:

I have a newborn girl. Someone asked how old my baby was yesterday. When I responded that she was 10 days old, the asker replied SHE?!...and looked at me like I was nuts. I realized babypearl was wearing a BLUE outfit. (With white hearts on it but still blue.) Oh the horror! Wtf is wrong with people. 

My daughter is nearly 31, and when she was a NB, I had her dressed in a blue onesie. An older lady at the store remarked, "such a beautiful baby, too bad it's a boy." I said, thanks, but she's a girl. I think the woman thought I was lying. Because who would dress a little girl in blue????

On 12/18/2017 at 6:43 AM, treehugger said:

Two daughters in this house. When they were babies they only wore sleepers and onesies. I'm a jeans, hoodie and sweatpants kind of person, and couldn't be bothered to dress them up as babies. Comfy clothes for the win!

They are now 3 and 5, and love dresses and leggings (preferably pink and sparkly), and I am going to roll with it. Self-expression is important, and clothing is pretty harmless. I also loved wearing frilly pink dresses at that age. 

But I am terrible at doing hair, so no fancy hair bows and styles for them. Actually, we have a rule in this house that if they won't let mommy brush out the knots in their hair, it gets cut. They both sport cute little bobs that require no extra fuss and are easy to brush. 

My GD's photo is  posted on FB a lot  (other GM)... dressed in a floor length, gold Belle Costume, at a baptism...in a black star skirt, pink Belle shirt with stripes, blue star wars socks and red glittery shoes, at a first communion. She has beautiful clothes, but her mommy let's her decide. She is 3.5 years old!

God help her as an adult, when it comes to dressing for a wedding, LOL!

[kachuu]

41 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

My daughter is nearly 31, and when she was a NB, I had her dressed in a blue onesie. An older lady at the store remarked, "such a beautiful baby, too bad it's a boy." I said, thanks, but she's a girl. I think the woman thought I was lying. Because who would dress a little girl in blue????

What an absolute horrible thing to say.

[VineHeart137]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

My daughter is nearly 31, and when she was a NB, I had her dressed in a blue onesie. An older lady at the store remarked, "such a beautiful baby, too bad it's a boy." I said, thanks, but she's a girl. I think the woman thought I was lying. Because who would dress a little girl in blue????

There is so much wrong with that lady's statement. Gross.

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

My GD's photo is  posted on FB a lot  (other GM)... dressed in a floor length, gold Belle Costume, at a baptism...in a black star skirt, pink Belle shirt with stripes, blue star wars socks and red glittery shoes, at a first communion. She has beautiful clothes, but her mommy let's her decide. She is 3.5 years old!

Haha there's a little girl in our mommy and me group about the same age who literally always shows up in Disney princess dress up clothes, no matter the event. Her mom lets her pick her own clothes too. It's hilarious. Kid's smart as a whip and is more articulate than kids twice her age so hey, let her do her right?

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, VineHeart137 said:

There is so much wrong with that lady's statement. Gross.

Haha there's a little girl in our mommy and me group about the same age who literally always shows up in Disney princess dress up clothes, no matter the event. Her mom lets her pick her own clothes too. It's hilarious. Kid's smart as a whip and is more articulate than kids twice her age so hey, let her do her right?

You just described my GD to a T-

[HarryPotterFan]

On 12/18/2017 at 12:13 AM, Tiny Bubbles said:

When my daughter was maybe one and a half she quite suddenly decided she was in love with PINK. She only had temper tantrums when I was trying to put her into clothing of another colour.  Pink pink pink.   

After a little while we just gave up and bought pink when possible, even snowsuits. We decided that colour was not a battle we wanted to fight.   It didn't bother me that she loved a colour so much - I wAs just embarrassed that people would think we were imposing pink frills on her for jinder reasons when believe me we were not  

She's an adult now, still stubborn and determined, 'tho it's been a long time since I've seen her in a pink ruffled dress, lol.  She says she has memories from being a tiny kid and seeing pink and thinking how ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL it was.  

I was like that as a little kid. I LOVED pink. My mom had to go to like 4 or 5 different stores to find me a pink coat. Now pink coats are EVERYWHERE. I like to think I started that trend.

 

[Carm_88]

I really don't understand why other people care about how other people's children are dressed. 

[HarryPotterFan]

On 12/18/2017 at 9:09 AM, Iamtheway said:

I always imagine that people look a little like their avatars (really confusing when they change them) and I can see you looking at that stranger exactly like yours.

I do the same thing (despite looking nothing like Malfoy), so I always get confused when I see @HermioneSparrow's avatar. I look like Hermione, so I read what she posts and think, "I didn't post that!!"

[SapphireSlytherin]

17 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I really don't understand why other people care about how other people's children are dressed. 

Or how people dress for weddings.

[sta_sha]

14 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I really don't understand why other people care about how other people's children are dressed. 

Seriously. As long as the kids are clean(ish) and appropriately dressed for the weather (looking at you, JRod), then people can just mind their business. We have tons of hand me downs for the boys from friends who have had both girls and boys. They'll wear whatever is clean and fits and Rufus help the first person who says anything about it!

[Meggo]

When my son was maybe 11 months old - we were in Florida. He had on some sweatpants (gray, blue, I don't remember) and one of those onesie tshirts with neon orange little crabs on it. (not obnoxious - really tiny crabs). And he had a pink pacifier/soother/binky in his mouth.

The table next to us leaned over and said "Can you settle a debate? Is your baby a boy or a girl?"
I was baffled - since my son had never been confused with a girl (not that it really matters - but the question had never come up and of course, *I* know he's a boy so in my head it should be clear to everyone else..).
I said "He's a boy."
They said "Oh we wondered because of pink pacifier."
I said "He's just secure in his manhood."

 

 

[Meggo]

And really - there are plenty of ways to interact with a baby without knowing their gender.
Examples:
Hi Honey/Sweetie/Cutie!! What a nice smile you have! and a sweet little giggle. Love your shirt - I like dinos/trucks/fairy princesses too! Are you helping with the shopping/dining/walking/being a good helper? Awesome!! If they are munching on their fingers: Oh - are you getting some teeth? I bet those fingers are tasty!

See? Really that's all the interaction you need to have with a baby you don't know. (because let's be honest, if you're going to be touching my kid - you'd better flippin' KNOW me)

 

[JMO]

On 12/18/2017 at 4:22 AM, Eternalbluepearl said:

I have a newborn girl. Someone asked how old my baby was yesterday. When I responded that she was 10 days old, the asker replied SHE?!...and looked at me like I was nuts. I realized babypearl was wearing a BLUE outfit. (With white hearts on it but still blue.) Oh the horror! Wtf is wrong with people. 

Congratulations!!! I dress my daughter in my son's old clothes sometimes.  And I'm anti-bow mostly because of laziness.  She also has little hair.  I get the occ question about her being a boy.  I try to shrug it off since my son would occ be asked if he was a girl (even if dressed him in all blue).  He coincidentally LOVES blue.  Which I do as well.  I try to put my daughter in as much blue as I can although I also got into the pink thing around the time I got preggo.  

BTW.  Only two more weeks until season 11! 

[MayMay1123]

i remember when my daughter was about 2 months old in 1986. we took her out in her Easter outfit, a frilly yellow dress, and she was wearing a lacy bonnet and had pierced ears. a man told me what a cute boy she was. i wasn't offended, i was just shocked that he thought she was a boy!

back in my other life, i taught preschool, 2 and 3 year olds. the boys were always fascinated with the dolls and the doll house because they didn't have those toys at home unless they had a sister. sometimes kids would say that a boy or girl couldn't play with a certain toy because it wasn't "for" them, but they all learned pretty quickly that all the toys were for all the children. i had to educated a few fathers about boys playing with dolls though

[Four is Enough]

16 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Or how people dress for weddings.

Or funerals, BUT: respectful and clean goes a LONG way.

[VelociRapture]

My mom says you could take your infant daughter out in an all pink and sparkly dress, a giant head bow, and a flashing sign proclaiming she’s a girl - and there will still be at least one little old man or woman who assumes the baby is a boy. 

(I’m assuming that’s true for boys too.)

Personally, I don’t care on the rare occasions when someone calls my daughter by the wrong pronouns. Usually it’s someone asking what “his” name is, so I just casually mention her name is Velocibaby. It’s just no big deal for us. My baby doesn’t care what you call her as long as you’re nice to her. 

(She may care about being called the wrong pronouns when she’s older and that’s ok. I figure we’ll just help her find a way to calmly and politely correct the person if it ever comes up.)

[Audrey2]

I never had children, but had I been pregnant or had a baby, if someone would have asked, "Boy or girl?", my answer would have either been, "I'm hoping it's going to be a baby"  or "Yes".

[VelociRapture]

16 minutes ago, Audrey2 said:

I never had children, but had I been pregnant or had a baby, if someone would have asked, "Boy or girl?", my answer would have either been, "I'm hoping it's going to be a baby"  or "Yes".

I told people we were hoping for a Velociraptor, but we’d settle for a human. Sadly, most people didn’t get it. My humor is wasted here. 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

On 12/18/2017 at 1:36 AM, eveandadam said:

Why do parents get offended if their toddler/baby gets misgendered? It would be a compliment for me that my more neutral approach would have worked. Or is it just if you mistake boys for girls? Then everyone gets offended as usual.

Getting offended for this sort of stuff to me falls right in between "First world problems" and "You got way too much time on your hands to be worrying about this stuff". IMO. Now, the people who feel like they absolutely have to give the unsolicited advice regarding clothes, ear piercing, etc. make me cringe a bit inside, but whatever, brush off and go.

I haven't even delivered #1 yet, and several people (mostly randoms, my friends know better than ask me such a question LOL!) have already asked me if we'll go for #2. My answer with cringey smile: "Well, we'll see how #1 goes and then who knows?". My real answer I want to give: "Talk to the hand!!!". 

[Meggo]

I wasn't offended. Just confused. And really - confused as to why it was a topic at the next table over. Why does it matter? I get that it's a conversation starter for some people but... why does it matter? Why does it matter my kid had a pink paci? He certainly didn't care.

 

We struggled with infertility for years - and MeggoBabe is adopted - but I heard all kinds of "helpful" advice on how to get pregnant. Everyone had opinions on what I should be doing - or wanted to comment on why we were "waiting" so long. I mostly just did a "grin and bear it" approach because it's none of anyone's beeswax,,,

[Eternalbluepearl]

6 hours ago, JMO said:

Congratulations!!!

BTW.  Only two more weeks until season 11! 

Thank you! And holy moly I cannot wait for season 11!!! It's a bright spot in ky sleep-deprived world. Sorry, FJ, for the off-topic. 

[EmmieJ]

On ‎12‎/‎18‎/‎2017 at 6:43 AM, treehugger said:

Two daughters in this house. When they were babies they only wore sleepers and onesies. I'm a jeans, hoodie and sweatpants kind of person, and couldn't be bothered to dress them up as babies. Comfy clothes for the win!

They are now 3 and 5, and love dresses and leggings (preferably pink and sparkly), and I am going to roll with it. Self-expression is important, and clothing is pretty harmless. I also loved wearing frilly pink dresses at that age. 

But I am terrible at doing hair, so no fancy hair bows and styles for them. Actually, we have a rule in this house that if they won't let mommy brush out the knots in their hair, it gets cut. They both sport cute little bobs that require no extra fuss and are easy to brush. 

When I was growing up, there were 8 kids - six girls, two boys.  We had nicer clothes for school, but when we got home, we changed into our play clothes.  Those were a combination of hand me downs and older clothes that we could run around in outside, get dirty, play in the fields and creek by our house, etc.  We also had a big bench seat in our play room that my dad built.  It was filled with dress up clothes - some of my mom's older blouses and skirts, old Halloween costumes, a few pairs of high heels, a pair of cowboy boots, etc.  If we felt like dressing up, we dug around in that box for something that caught our fancy.  Good times.

When my son was little, money was tight.  I regularly searched eBay and thrift stores for gently used clothing for him.  He had new clothing for school, but when he got home and on week-ends, he wore the eBay/thrift store clothing so that it was fine if he spilled something, got dirty, whatever.   

On the other end of the spectrum, my sister and I now take care of a third sister who has Down's Syndrome and Alzheimer's.  It is not unusual for her to stay in her comfy pajamas all day long if there are no outings that day.  It makes it much easier to assist her in the bathroom.  Plus, how can you go wrong with pajamas that have penguins or snowmen on them?

[Bethella]

Congratulations on the new baby @Eternalbluepearl!