Real Life Fundie Encounters - Part 4

[EowynW]

Fundie Logic: planning to buy and build a house you can afford to pay for and afford to maintain = "not trusting God enough and no balance in your spiritual walk." And not automatically making room for children in said house is just "of the devil and a severe lack of faith" because "your tribe WILL increase one day."

this encounter is brought to you by my IBLP father in law. 

Yes we trust God, but you have to work within your means. We both grew up pretty damn poor because both our families "trusted God" and yea no, I don't want to go down that road again. 

 

These kinds of encounters always kind of mess with my recovering fundie head. Because what if we really aren't trusting God? And is it selfish to want to build a simple life that you can afford, with some extra money for some life experiences, without having to be constantly stressed, with zero money, and eat crap food because that's all you can afford. Sure God is okay with that? Will He be angry at us for wanting a bit better for ourselves? Our parents sure as hell didn't raise us to want better than what they have, they prepped us for the same fundie boat  and we don't want to stay in it because it's sinking.

 

[smittykins]

^WTF to your FIL, not you, @EowynW.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

@EowynW

You are not selfish. You and Mr EW are not wrong to want more/different than you were raised with.

I firmly believe that parents should want and encourage their children to have better, do better. That doesn't mean have more, it means to have a more comfortable life -- the life you both choose to live. It doesn't mean you have to have a life with zero money eating crap food because that's what your ILs want you to have. That your FIL wants that is so, so so wrong on so many levels.

If your ILs, especially your FIL, want you to accept less and have the same life he has, it means he is secretly jealous that that you and Mr EW want a different life and are willing to work toward it. It doesn't mean you don't trust in God.  It does mean that you trust that God has given you two will and drive and smarts, And God expects you to use what He's given you. 

Not using what God gives you is being selfish and untrusting and if anything will anger God that's it. So trust that God has given you two your dreams for a reason and go forth and conquer the world -- your way.

I know it may be hard but ignore your FIL/ ILs. Let what they say go in one ear and out the other. Don't let him get into your head. Don't let him rattle your confidence and your faith.   Your FIL is not the boss of you. And while I'm on a roll, your father is not the boss of you either. 

 Hugs to you and Mr EW.

[EowynW]

Today a fundie friend said only the "low class shops at Walmart." 

Bitch, many people in this country can only afford to shop at Walmart. 

[Granwych]

2 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Today a fundie friend said only the "low class shops at Walmart." 

Bitch, many people in this country can only afford to shop at Walmart. 

They can bite my fat Polish ass.  I like Walmart just as much as Macy's Lord & Taylor, and the like.

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Today a fundie friend said only the "low class shops at Walmart." 

Bitch, many people in this country can only afford to shop at Walmart. 

That seems like a weird statement coming from a fundie. Since I assume most quiverfull fundie families shop at places like Walmart, Aldis, or Costco. Where you can get more for your money. I might actually faint from shock if a fundie family of 12 shopped at Whole Foods.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

8 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That seems like a weird statement coming from a fundie. Since I assume most quiverfull fundie families shop at places like Walmart, Aldis, or Costco. Where you can get more for your money. I might actually faint from shock if a fundie family of 12 shopped at Whole Foods.

We have no choice,  all we have for 80 miles is Wal Mart an we are grateful for it!  I go to the nearest City for clothing though. Wish I learned to sew,  my grade 8 home ec teacher really made me hate it.   She was such a nasty person.

[EowynW]

27 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That seems like a weird statement coming from a fundie. Since I assume most quiverfull fundie families shop at places like Walmart, Aldis, or Costco. Where you can get more for your money. I might actually faint from shock if a fundie family of 12 shopped at Whole Foods.

She believes we all should shop local. She gave this whole list of "sacrifices" she and hubby make on their "one poor income" so they can shop "healthy and local" and when I upped her sacrifice list my sharing my own and how I still have to go to Walmart half the time, she got mad lol. 

I hate giving money to Walmart but we have no choice right now.  I hope one day she befriends some of us "low class" people and see what life is really like for us. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

She believes we all should shop local. She gave this whole list of "sacrifices" she and hubby make on their "one poor income" so they can shop "healthy and local" and when I upped her sacrifice list my sharing my own and how I still have to go to Walmart half the time, she got mad lol. 

I hate giving money to Walmart but we have no choice right now.  I hope one day she befriends some of us "low class" people and see what life is really like for us. 

She sounds young and sheltered into ignorance. 

[smittykins]

I would love it if there was a Target nearby, but the closest one is halfway to Rochester(about a 40-minute drive from me).  So Walmart it is.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

3 hours ago, smittykins said:

I would love it if there was a Target nearby, but the closest one is halfway to Rochester(about a 40-minute drive from me).  So Walmart it is.

We have 2 Target stores within a fairly reasonable distance from me, but they don't carry fresh foods. If we ever get a "grocery Target", I'd be curious to see how it compares to Walmart,  WinCo, and Fred Meyer.

[nastyhobbitses]

I now live 15 minutes walking away from an ASDA (UK Wal-Mart), and you know what? It's pretty freaking great. The groceries are reasonably priced (though Lidl is cheaper), they had pretty much everything I needed for my new apartment (though I ordered a lot of stuff on Amazon because screw carrying tons of shit), and even if a little of my soul dies by shopping at Wal-Mart, a little less of my wallet is dying, so yeah. 

[Briefly]

8 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

We have 2 Target stores within a fairly reasonable distance from me, but they don't carry fresh foods. If we ever get a "grocery Target", I'd be curious to see how it compares to Walmart,  WinCo, and Fred Meyer.

The Target stores with groceries in the Tulsa area seem to be a little higher than Walmart. They don't have a huge variety of brands. However, Walmart is going to more of their own brand and less of other companies. I spend a little more on groceries because I try to go to a locally owned grocery store chain, but I do grab the occasional thing at Walmart.

[GeoBQn]

My in-laws are friends with a couple in Canada, and their son recently joined an ultra-Orthodox Jewish sect.  He then agreed to what basically amounts to an arranged marriage.  In December, my in-laws got an invitation to the wedding--and it is going to be outdoors . . . in February . . . in Montreal.  In the young man's sect, it is traditional to have weddings outdoors, but I was taught that the Jewish tradition is that you can say "no" to anything that ruins your enjoyment of your wedding day.  I would think that potential for frostbite would qualify.  My MIL hates being cold so much that she keeps their house at 79F.  I asked her if not going was at all an option, because that just sounds like it's not going to be good for anybody involved. 

[feministxtian]

11 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

We have 2 Target stores within a fairly reasonable distance from me, but they don't carry fresh foods. If we ever get a "grocery Target", I'd be curious to see how it compares to Walmart,  WinCo, and Fred Meyer.

Here in Sin City, NOBODY beats WinCo. We go there for the pantry type stuff. Smith's has better meats. The nearest WinCo is about 12 miles from me so it's not exactly convenient for weekly shopping. The last WinCo run we did was a couple of weeks ago...spent about 250.00...the cart was FULL. Then I hit Smith's for about 50 bucks in meats. IF we had a freezer, I'd be able to buy more and spend less time shopping. We DO hit up Trader Joe's every now and then for goodies. 

Target Grocery here isn't that great...there's no way to do a regular shopping trip. It's great if you're there and have to pick something up...kind of pricey too, but not as bad as Albertson's. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

3 hours ago, feministxtian said:

...kind of pricey too, but not as bad as Albertson's. 

I do my best to only buy sale items at Albertson's. My last trip there, I figured that I saved around $6 compared to how much I would usually spend at WinCo or Walmart. I had to be careful to buy the right things to match their deals exactly (buy 6 to get the price, etc.) and I used the e-coupons from their ap. Albertsons is the closest store to me, so I use it for speed (like when I just need a gallon of milk) or to stock up on good deals, once every so often. It doesn't work for me for an average shopping trip, though. Too expensive. 

[feministxtian]

Albertson's is closest to me too...it's less than a mile from the house. I'll only stop there like on my way home from work just because Smith's is in the opposite direction, WalMart is insane for just a couple of items, and not hauling my ass to WinCo either. 

There's a WalMart Neighborhood Market pretty close too...but...umm...the neighborhood is REALLY bad and it's just not worth it to deal with the panhandlers that frequent the parking lot. 

[MarblesMom]

On 2/4/2018 at 12:53 PM, EowynW said:

Today a fundie friend said only the "low class shops at Walmart." 

"Where America shops" is what we quote around here.  Apparently we are all low class.

Monday mornings are the best time to see FundieAmerica™ show up at Walmart.... in droves.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

21 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

Monday mornings are the best time to see FundieAmerica™ show up at Walmart.... in droves.

I'll have to check that out one of these weeks. The most obvious religious group I ever noticed at Walmart (the one I visit most often) was Mennonite. I haven't seen Mennonite ladies and girls as often since we got more Walmart locations. 

We do usually have a fair number of what we call "Walmartians" in that store most of the times I shop. Mostly just folks shopping in their pj's and fuzzy slippers, not the semi-naked ones like I found when I did a Google search! 

[meowfundiecatz]

I am visiting SLC this weekend and we decided to pop into the DI (thrift store). Saw 2 different groups of FLDS. First was a woman and a young boy. Second was a middle age woman with three young girls (ages probably from 12-16). I didn't see what the first lady bought. The second group bought a bunch of boys and mens jeans and long sleeve, solid colored shirts. All the younger girls had newer styled, jewel toned or black coats on. All of the shirts were also jewel toned.

[MarblesMom]

The Fundies have landed in Nike Resort.  Women in knee length skirts, wearing STOCKINGS (pantyhose, nylons), sensible shoes and one woman even had on TWO shirts.  I have counted 8 adults so far.  

Caribbean here... at least 80F outside.  

I have no idea why they chose this particular resort... the beach is topless, 90% of people are in bikinis/banana hammocks all day...some of the group activities include line dancing, beer chugging, etc.  There are bars on every corner....

Not sure what they are going to do besides sit in their rooms and pray.

[mango_fandango]

This isn't a fundie encounter exactly, but I wasn't sure where to put this. 

I volunteer in a charity shop, on the till. At one point I was idly looking over at the books section... and spotted the Babywise book. I really didn't know what to think. I know several of our fundies have used it, including the Bateses and the Shupes.

[anniebgood]

We lost our local (1 mile) Albertsons when Haggen took them over and screwed everyone over. I usually shop at Ralph's (Kroger) or Food 4 Less. There's a Walmart neighborhood about a mile the other way, I find them pretty expensive for canned stuff, but their meat is good. Supposedly we are getting a Grocery Outlet where the Albertsons was, and OMG the NIMBY's in their McMansions were offended. I don't know much about them but some friends in Long Beach swear by them. 
When ever we go over to visit our money and stay south strip, we usually swing by the Food 4 Less on Mesa Verde and LV Blvd. 

[Granwych]

On ‎2‎/‎13‎/‎2018 at 5:56 PM, mango_fandango said:

This isn't a fundie encounter exactly, but I wasn't sure where to put this. 

I volunteer in a charity shop, on the till. At one point I was idly looking over at the books section... and spotted the Babywise book. I really didn't know what to think. I know several of our fundies have used it, including the Bateses and the Shupes.

I saw a Babywise book at a yard sale.  When I told the woman running the sale about how babies had died from advice given in the book, she promptly threw it in the trash and dumped coffee all over it.

[EowynW]

On 2/14/2018 at 8:17 PM, Granwych said:

I saw a Babywise book at a yard sale.  When I told the woman running the sale about how babies had died from advice given in the book, she promptly threw it in the trash and dumped coffee all over it.

My fundie mother HATESSSSSSS babywise. She heats up everytime she sees it given at a baby shower at their church. And oftentimes in secret she tells the young moms to throw it away, LOL. 

 

My MIL wanted to know about putting her herbs to use. So I sent her my resource for making tinctures. With Vodka. Complete radio silence on that topic now.