Real Life Fundie Encounters - Part 4

[EowynW]

A local homeschooling "frugal homesteading" fundie family posted on the trading post group asking/begging for free animals, wood, dirt, mulch, etc etc etc etc. They even plugged their homeschooling on the post, to garner more sympathy. 

I truly do understand being tight on money, but you are not doing your kids a favor by modeling begging for homesteading basics. You should at least be offering to barter or work for the items in return to pay back or trade  in some honest way. These kind of people irritate me so damn much. 

[MamaJunebug]

On 3/6/2018 at 7:08 PM, Briefly said:

They have a tendency to announce many different places at the same time, in the hopes that they can appear and not have as many protesters because all the protesters have gone to the wrong place.  However, they have so many people who are on to them that there are always plenty of people to protest them wherever they actually are!

A few years back the KKK got a permit for a gathering — and nobody from the media nor the opposition came. It thus went unnoticed. 

Hoping the area media are similarly savvy in this case and don’t take the bait. At least one of the host [sic] venues is playing it very cool. 

[EowynW]

Newly married fundie wife to her mother. 

Young wife: "My husband's job is moving him out of state until August. I have to say behind.  I'll miss him."

Fundie mom: "you'll survive. Let him go do his man thing like he's supposed to be doing." 

Men are only good for a paycheck for these people. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Well..... the upside is the newly married fundie wife won't have to submit to unprotected sexxxy times for several months.

Plus she will be the boss of her own self while he's gone.

so -- missing hubby  ;  months of freedom  

[Pammy]

I helped out this weekend at a religious event for teens. They accidentally hired a preacher who is "really conservative, even for us" -- aka an outright bigot. He spent his time insulting transgender people instead of preaching. The organizers sent him packing and brought  in somebody else as soon as the problem became evident.

I was really proud of the organizers when it became clear that they were prepared to "fire" the main preacher mid-event. It was a brave and difficult thing to do, and it may have long term repercussions because the speaker was made unwelcome due to his "biblical views".

I'm chagrined to say, this is the "cutting edge" of religious people stepping away from our bigots while keeping (reclaiming?) our religion. We're not so good at it yet, but at least (this time) they put a stop to it. Yes, after damage was done... but it's a step.

[EowynW]

Have to be in my brother's wedding. His fiance's (very weird fundie) brother strongly disapproves of the marriage and won't let his girls be in it. So my sister and I will be bridesmaids. I'll do it because I love my brother. But dear god, a weekend chock full of fundies and fundie thinking. Eeeeeeek. Thank goodness we are also going to combine the wedding trip (way out across the other side of our state) with our anniversary camping trip so we can run away early that Sunday morning.

[EmiGirl]

11 hours ago, EowynW said:

His fiance's (very weird fundie) brother strongly disapproves of the marriage and won't let his girls be in it

Being nosy here. What does he object to? From what I hear your brother and rest of your family are highly fundy too!

[EowynW]

11 hours ago, EmiGirl said:

Being nosy here. What does he object to? From what I hear your brother and rest of your family are highly fundy too!

No one knows. He's a massive asshole. 

[EowynW]

I accidentally caused fundie wedding drama. By trying to do the right thing. 

Brother's Fiancée says bridesmaid dress must be knee length and cream or pale gold. It'll have a denim jacket over it. Okay. 

I'm also going to knit a lacy wrap for the reception for it so we don't die of the west Texas heat in those jackets. 

I am short & pear shaped with an ass a mile wide. So this is going to be hard. We also don't have much money. But I love my brother and want to be supportive. 

 

So. I find a dress that I like okay enough. Me, trying to help and be a good bridesmaid, sends her a picture of it to double check color.

And it hits the fan because it has a "OMGGGGG SHEAR TOP IMMODEST NO NO NO NO"

But how the hell am I going to find a hardcore fundie approved dressy dress for being a bridesmaid, that will also work with my body type that will not cost a fortune. 

 

[Tangy Bee]

Wow! I would wear that! How many colors does it come in? It has a classic look.

[EowynW]

6 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Wow! I would wear that! How many colors does it come in? It has a classic look.

Quite a few! I'll find the link. It's been deemed too immodest so i will have to move on.  

If this doesn't pass very very very good girl fundie standards I don't know what will. 

[catlady]

What a shame you can’t have the first one; it’s so pretty. The second one is also nice, but my first reaction was that it was designed for 12yo girls. The differences are subtle, but the first one is so much more grown-up. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

The first dress is gorgeous. I say buy it and wear it. 

Any "immodesty" will be covered by the denim jacket and then by the lacy shawl . Or perhaps a short knitted lacy bolero jacket in pale blue that will mimic the denim jacket.

You will not be uncovered nor "immodest" in dress #1.

Edited to add:

If you have to, tack a modesty panel at the neckline of dress  #1, then you can get rid of it after the wedding and have the dressy dress that you want.

Don't spend money on a dress you don't want.

If the bride is horrified at the sight of your neck under the lace and your upper arms, then she needs to get a grip.  The caps sleeves on dress #2 don't cover up all that much.  

And since you have to pay for the dress yourself, it's ultimately your choice.

[EowynW]

There's also this one. My poor mom. She's fundie but my Brother's fiancé and her family are FUNDIEEEEEEEEE and my mom is trying so hard to run interference between us less fundie and the more fundie. I am giving her major kudos for this. 

 

 

[catlady]

If #1 is off the table, I like #3 better than #2. mainly because once again, it looks more grown-up. 

[EowynW]

I'm stuck with dress #2. The fundie bride has declared it. Her fundie mother has declared it. Thank goodness it'll only be a waste of $30. I already own the cowboy boots and denim jacket. 

So now I'm going find a pattern for a kickass lacy crescent shawl to knit and bead. So I can feel sort of beautiful at the reception. :-/

 

protesting was was met with "don't let your liberty in Jesus harm someone else's beliefs" blah blah blah. Oooooooh well. I get a good anniversary trip out of the whole thing. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I hate to push this, but the bride and especially the mother of the bride, doesn't get to decide and declare what your dress looks like since she gave the bridesmaids 1 instruction only -- cream or gold. The actual dress style was up to each bridesmaid.

Is the bride going yay or nay to everyone else's dress? Just you?

I still say buy the dress you want and like, because even $30 on a dress you don't want is a wasted $30.

For once dress #1 really is a dress that can be worn again. You could keep it cream and add a colored satin sash, or dye it or even dip dye it an ombre color.

I feel so strongly about this as my mother picked out my sister's wedding dress and veil (both of which sis hated and were soooooo not her style) and the bridesmaid dresses, which looking positively hideous on all of us.  But my mother liked them so we were all forced (seriously forced)  to buy them. They were not cheap.

I hate every photo of myself in that dress, and there are only a very few because I disappeared any time a camera was pointed at me.  I donated the hideous dress to Goodwill a month after the wedding.  It was not a 'wear again' dress. no matter what my mother said.

@EowynW don't be bullied into wasting money on something you don't like, don't feel gorgeous in. and don't want to wear.  ((hugs))

[EowynW]

It's all the bridesmaids now. No sheer anything. No v neck. Solid bodice. 

I was always taught the bride dictated what you wore. I didn't dictate for my bridesmaids. Just told them the color and length. They all picked what they wanted at the mall for no more than $50. 

I'm def going to buy myself that original dress in a color I want.  

[RainbowSky]

On 2/13/2018 at 5:56 PM, mango_fandango said:

This isn't a fundie encounter exactly, but I wasn't sure where to put this. 

I volunteer in a charity shop, on the till. At one point I was idly looking over at the books section... and spotted the Babywise book. I really didn't know what to think. I know several of our fundies have used it, including the Bateses and the Shupes.

I used to go to the Salvation Army thrift shop here (it's tiny, and almost everything is 1 or less. It's to help around here) and I'd see them occasionally. I'd grab them to toss since books were free.. I've wondered what the one lady who worked there thought. Lol

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

20 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I'm def going to buy myself that original dress in a color I want.

All righty then 

If there is a consignment store near you, Dress #2 will sell.  If you're a seamstress,you could modify it yourself post-wedding.

Maybe an off-the should dress, or add a new top with a sweetheart neckline -- black velvet maybe for the winter. Reuse the lace top to make 3/4 sleeves.  Make the whole dress black (dye the lace) or black (or red or green or navy) top and sleeves with cream skirt.  + satin obi sash to match the top.  

[Briefly]

6 hours ago, catlady said:

What a shame you can’t have the first one; it’s so pretty. The second one is also nice, but my first reaction was that it was designed for 12yo girls. The differences are subtle, but the first one is so much more grown-up. 

Considering how low women are in the fundie world, maybe the fact that it looks like a dress for a 12 year old girl is the point.

[Pammy]

I hate the dress... but I think bridesmaids need do what the bride wants.

It's her day, and she deserves the look she wants.

[hollyandivy]

2 minutes ago, Pammy said:

 

It's her day, and she deserves the look she wants.

But only if she pays for it!

 

I would still go for dress 1 and then add some lining on the top that can be remove after! It is a super pretty dress!

[EowynW]

1 hour ago, Pammy said:

I hate the dress... but I think bridesmaids need do what the bride wants.

It's her day, and she deserves the look she wants.

I've never really understood the whole bride is princess mentality of weddings but then I've always been a very abnormal girl, I suppose.  I hated wedding planning and never dreamed of it as a girl growing up. I hated that everyone wanted to make it about me and "my day" when I wanted it just to be a fun celebration of us and our getting married. 

And get this, my brother couldn't have Mr. EW and my sister's husband as groomsmen because "your sisters might get divorced some day and I don't want to have to see them in my pictures if that happened." 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

13 hours ago, EowynW said:

And get this, my brother couldn't have Mr. EW and my sister's husband as groomsmen because "your sisters might get divorced some day and I don't want to have to see them in my pictures if that happened." 

So I assume that whoever the groomsmen are, they are single or come with an iron-clad, written in blood guarantee that none of them will ever, never, ever get divorced.  WTF indeed.

Not wishing ill on the bride/groom to be, but even the fundiest fundies get divorced. Katie Brown and Bradrick! for example -- the Crown Prince and Princess of Patriarchy and Courtship.  Their royal fundie wedding ended in divorce after 10 years.  Then there is Katie Morton/ Alan Smith, another royal couple of the Kingdom of Patriarchy and Courtship.

I guess I'm a little cynical, because I've seen alot of fundie/ fundie-lite marriages end in divorce, or limp along with the hubby being less than faithful while the wife pretends he's working late. 

Not suggesting this is your brother in any way, just relating my experiences fundie doesn't guarantee no divorce ever

I know your SIL to-be wants all the baybeeeez immediately.  Has your brother agreed to a honeymoon baybee born 9 months 1 day after the wedding?