Bontragers and Bowers Engaged

[Foudeb]

On 1/26/2018 at 10:36 AM, lilith said:

I have never understood proclaimed christians who have never read the complete bible though (I don’t particularly care in what order). I’m a lifelong atheist and even i have read it cause I think it’s vital for understanding western history and culture. To base not just your life but eternity upon a belief system without even reading the whole text that said belief system is based upon is just crazy.

I also think it’s important to know and understand how and why certain books became cannon and certain books were removed.

+1. I also don't understand how people come out of reading it cover to cover still believing it's truth. It's such a weird, rambly collection of disjointed details I really don't get how you can't either try to interpret it as a series of complex metaphors or just as a series of texts that are very much human, and not very good ones at that.

[HereticHick]

Future baby name: Studd Bontrager

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Future baby name: Studd Bontrager

He will definitely go the Benessa route and name a boy after some great Christian leader. He's so pretentious he won't be able to help himself.

[ophelia]

Joshua is not the only one in the fam who can be all preachy. His wife is guest speaker at a young women's retreat - hosted by his sister Allison.

http://www.youngwomensretreat.com

I don't really know why they call a girls weekend a retreat and don't get how people think this are wisely invested 250$.

Spoiler

A PEEK BEHIND THE SCENES:

Imagine this……..soft music wafting through the air, a few girls sitting here, chatting and laughing while holding their fancy coffee drinks, a group of girls over there just coming back from a leisurely walk.  Soon they gather to hear counsel and advice from a Godly woman a few years further down the path of life.  A little later, they break into small groups to share and pray together.  Now they all sit down for a fancy dinner with gourmet food.  After dinner, they nibble on cheesecake as they enjoy games and more laughter.

And there you have it….a typical evening at a Young Women's Retreat.

 

[luv2laugh]

He is like a clone of Stephen Hammer at Harvard Law school who is married to Meredith with 5(?) kids.

[JillyO]

LOLOLOL Who wrote that description? That is hilarious. And the oh so wise "Godly [women] a few years further down the path of life" are Allison and Bryn? This gave me a real chuckle. Good find, ophelia!

[ophelia]

6 hours ago, JillyO said:

LOLOLOL Who wrote that description? That is hilarious. And the oh so wise "Godly [women] a few years further down the path of life" are Allison and Bryn? This gave me a real chuckle. Good find, ophelia!

Cassidy is a listed as a guest speaker, but I'm sure Carolina and Bryn and maybe even Chelsy will have an appearance as "recently married godly woman" as well. It will probably all be about waiting for the one god has intended for you, following your fathers lead and so on.

I'm 29 and single. I'd somehow love to crash that thing.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I get the impression that Josh is trying so hard to be "grown." He's the third son and I just get the impression he's trying to keep up with his brothers. And I wouldn't be surprised if he was like that his whole life so far. His older brothers were dating and marriage was in their future. It wouldn't surprise me if Joshua sped things up with Cassidy just so his brothers wouldn't beat him to the altar. The kid is only 20! 

[browngrl]

8 hours ago, ophelia said:

Joshua is not the only one in the fam who can be all preachy. His wife is guest speaker at a young women's retreat - hosted by his sister Allison.

http://www.youngwomensretreat.com

I don't really know why they call a girls weekend a retreat and don't get how people think this are wisely invested 250$.

  Reveal hidden contents

A PEEK BEHIND THE SCENES:

Imagine this……..soft music wafting through the air, a few girls sitting here, chatting and laughing while holding their fancy coffee drinks, a group of girls over there just coming back from a leisurely walk.  Soon they gather to hear counsel and advice from a Godly woman a few years further down the path of life.  A little later, they break into small groups to share and pray together.  Now they all sit down for a fancy dinner with gourmet food.  After dinner, they nibble on cheesecake as they enjoy games and more laughter.

And there you have it….a typical evening at a Young Women's Retreat.

 

Occasionally I'll go to a "conference" which is really a vacation with some lectures thrown in so people can get a tax deduction out of it. This retreat seems to be in a similar vein. It is really just a vacation with a bit of preaching thrown in to make it seem more godly than it is and to allay the fears of parents who might not otherwise let their adult/near adult daughters have any vacation time without the entire family hanging on. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, browngrl said:

Occasionally I'll go to a "conference" which is really a vacation with some lectures thrown in so people can get a tax deduction out of it. This retreat seems to be in a similar vein. It is really just a vacation with a bit of preaching thrown in to make it seem more godly than it is and to allay the fears of parents who might not otherwise let their adult/near adult daughters have any vacation time without the entire family hanging on. 

This one seems like it's a bunch of single fundie girls making each other feel better about their singleness. 

[luv2laugh]

WHY is it $250 for young fundamentalist girls who most likely aren’t generating their own income?

The pricing does not make sense to me given the audience. It sounds like a money grab.

[ophelia]

19 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This one seems like it's a bunch of single fundie girls making each other feel better about their singleness. 

The Maxwell girls should go. Not that Steve would ever allow this..

9 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

WHY is it $250 for young fundamentalist girls who most likely aren’t generating their own income?

The pricing does not make sense to me given the audience. It sounds like a money grab.

That is exactly what I was thinking. I could see why fundie maidens (or their parents) would spend so much on a fundie youth conference or similar things. But in a women's retreat you can't even meet a future spouse.

[seraaa]

presumably their parents pay

[crawfishgirl]

11 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

WHY is it $250 for young fundamentalist girls who most likely aren’t generating their own income?

The pricing does not make sense to me given the audience. It sounds like a money grab.

And they also have to pay for transportation.  Maybe it would be worth it if a well-respected speaker or teacher was there, but Allison is just not in that category.  There are much cheaper ways to have a relaxing weekend with gourmet coffees.  She also mentioned activities such as doing hair and getting dressed up - I can do that without being charged for it...

The upper limit of the age range is 29.  Does she really have that much to offer someone of that age?  Though I realize that the SAHDs are frequently childlike and sheltered/naive.

Another thought - if all three Maxwell girls attended, that would be $750.  Can't imagine paying that to listen to her.

[LimeKitty]

2 hours ago, ophelia said:

The Maxwell girls should go. Not that Steve would ever allow this.

(snip)

Steve would only allow the "girls" to go if one (or all) of them were speakers. He is too cocky to allow his family to learn from someone else. Wasn't he the asshat who declared that his kids don't read, but write? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Steve allowed the girls to go to the Bontrager family conference last fall. However I believe John went as well to visit Chelsy so they had a penis endowed chaperone. But I imagine Steve won't allow this trip. 

[HereticHick]

I believe this young ladies weekend retreat used to be held in Grandma Bontrager's basement. I guess the $250 now has to cover the rental & meals  + all  the "fancy coffee drinks" a basic fundie maiden can consume.

[JermajestyDuggar]

The Bontragers updated their blog with what Bryn and Mitchell have been up to. I'm very glad a pregnancy announcement wasn't at the end of the post. Those two need some time alone as a couple before they throw a pregnancy and Baby into the mix. 

Allison wrote a post about being single on Valentine's Day. So she is obviously not in some sort of committed relationship right now. I suppose she could be "getting to know" some guy but not in a relationship since she said she's single. It's probably best that these Bontrager girls don't get married super young. A few less babies is always a good thing for the quiverfull families. 

[HereticHick]

Everytime I find myself charmed by the Bowers and Bontrager's energy, discipline, "modern modest" style, etc.--

I remind myself that they ADMIRE Roy Moore, a known pedophile and all-around scumbag.

And they met with him AGAIN this week: http://bowersbus.blogspot.com/

They let their young daughters POSE FOR PICTURES with him.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Everytime I find myself charmed by the Bowers and Bontrager's energy, discipline, "modern modest" style, etc.--

I remind myself that they ADMIRE Roy Moore, a known pedophile and all-around scumbag.

And they met with him AGAIN this week: http://bowersbus.blogspot.com/

They let their young daughters POSE FOR PICTURES with him.

I don't actually think they visited him again. I think they are finally recapping their January so they are late to report the meeting.

[Kariina]

In a stirring sequel to Nurturing Your Brothers' Manhood, Allison recommends figuring out your brothers' love languages...and yes, if it's "Touch," sibling back rubs are totally on the table.

https://www.fromallison.com/1700-2/

I don't want to jump into ascribing sexual connotations to familial affection but there's something very intimate about Allison's advice that disturbs me based on my own sibling relationship paradigm.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

2 hours ago, Kariina said:

In a stirring sequel to Nurturing Your Brothers' Manhood, Allison recommends figuring out your brothers' love languages...and yes, if it's "Touch," sibling back rubs are totally on the table.

https://www.fromallison.com/1700-2/

I don't want to jump into ascribing sexual connotations to familial affection but there's something very intimate about Allison's advice that disturbs me based on my own sibling relationship paradigm.

I don’t know, it seems fine to me. Keep in mind, though, that we are a very touchy-feely family. It’s not unusual for all the siblings (both sexes and a wide age range) to pile on the sofa together in one big snuggle. We give lots of hugs and kisses and playful butt smacks. Back rubs seem like no biggie to me.  I even give my girlfriends back rubs — at church! Lol

[Foudeb]

7 hours ago, Kariina said:

In a stirring sequel to Nurturing Your Brothers' Manhood, Allison recommends figuring out your brothers' love languages...and yes, if it's "Touch," sibling back rubs are totally on the table.

https://www.fromallison.com/1700-2/

I don't want to jump into ascribing sexual connotations to familial affection but there's something very intimate about Allison's advice that disturbs me based on my own sibling relationship paradigm.

It feels like she's starved for affection - and attention - and is desperately trying to foster something with her siblings. It makes sense too. A woman her age usually has her own friends (and probably romantic relationship as well) that she picked herself, with whom she'd do things she enjoys. She sounds like she doesn't, and she wants some kind of close friendship, so she'll do anything that needs to be done to get one of the few people around her (siblings) to hang out with her. Bribe them with food, gifts or back rubs! Flatter them constantly! Welcome their girlfriends!

Allison strikes me as someone who would have blossomed in a regular school / university environment. She'd study hard, get reasonably good grades, have lots of friends, she'd organise extracurricular clubs and charity events, and she's still spend time with her family and probably work a job or two on the side. She'd get elected class president and everyone would be predicting a successful career for her. And there would be more than a few young men vying for the "boyfriend" position. The Bontragers are nowhere as grim as the Maxwells or other fundies, but that entire "protect the daughters" patriarchal nonsense really does suck the soul out of even the most pliant, socially active, ready to obey woman.

Run, Allison!

[singsingsing]

'Alllllison... I know this world is killing you, ohhh Allllllllison...'

[Kariina]

@JemimaPuddle-Duck I was thinking about why it bothered me a bit and I think it's the contrast between what a lot of fundies preach about modesty and purity and often not touching the opposite gender until marriage, versus Allison's mimicry of romantic communication with brothers.  @Foudeb hits on those points. My own siblings and I, after a certain age, have just never been in a context in which that kind of physical communication is only available from immediate family.

Although the Bontragers probably aren't the biggest of hypocrites about touch; it looked like Chelsy and John had a much closer courtship model than many.