John Shrader Part 11 - God's Grifter Falling Apart

[Gobsmacked]

John diets each time Satan attacks him. He is bored, has nothing much to do now that everyone has run for the hills so brings attention back to himself by being a martyr to his health/ increasing girth. 

Me thinks John will spend his dieting time in bed. All cosy and hidden from the big bad world that hates him and Satan who obviously loves him so much. Satan must love John, he hangs around Kafue a lot according to John.

Satan is a clever guy. Recognises one of his own.

[clearingthingsup]

2 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

Satan must love John, he hangs around Kafue a lot according to John.

Satan is a clever guy. Recognises one of his own.

Hahaha 

[Palimpsest]

Well he isn't moping in bed.  Yet.

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Encouraged at what God is doing in my heart and life.

Please keep praying for me as I seek Christ's Increase.

 

Yes, for Christ's increase John must decrease.  Johnny that text (John 3:30) doesn't mean go on a diet!   

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Was able to speak personally and directly to several men of our lovely Lord Jesus Christ today.

Are you sure, John?  They may be backsliders in Satan's clutches.  Your judgement is in question now.

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Also passing out tracts and John and Romans.

Gave away some loo paper.

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God gave me a chance to go about and do good as Jesus exemplified for us. Opened a door to witness.

What good did you do, John?  Serious question.

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Started seriously working on my weight following my father's amazing example.

God is good.

Whatever did happen to that 40 day juice diet?  Did John ever admit to falling off the juice wagon after about 4 days?

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Pray for Souls dear friends.

Pray for laborers.

Pray.

 

I'm beginning to think John's ego has replaced his soul. I hope the souls in Kafue are running away.  Will that do instead of prayer?

I don't think he labors either.  He went for a walk and gave away tracts that someone else paid for today.  And whined to a few people about how his converts were leaving.

[Grimalkin]

@Palimpsest, I have to disagree, just simply being John Schrader must be quite laborious, and time consuming. John is the most tedious man in the world.

4 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

 

I don't think he labors either.  

 

[Lurky]

As a lifelong atheist, I'm pretty sure that *I* could be more convincing about Christianity than John is!  I bet I could convert more than 3 people in 3 years, and I wouldn't even need 9 hours to do it!

ETA my evangelism would be based on the great examples of awesome people I know, and the story of Jesus + the Golden Rule, so I already have a head start...

[Coy Koi]

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Time for Thursday night Bible Study here in Sub-Saharan Africa!

He makes it sound like the entirety of Sub-Saharan Africa is going to be involved. That must be quite a production!

[apandaaries]

17 minutes ago, Coy Koi said:

He makes it sound like the entirety of Sub-Saharan Africa is going to be involved. That must be quite a production!

Oh, man, I hope not.  John's big extravaganzas never go well.  Remember that poor sheep that was somehow killed just by affiliating with him?  Though we never learned exactly what happened to it, since John didn't disclose that.  Interesting that he treats his metaphorical sheep about as well as he keeps real sheep, even if he only has a few hours with them. 

[Gobsmacked]

Poor Esther has probably been cooking all day to provide the meal Johnboy will be using as enticement for his next round of victims.

Save Esther.

[formergothardite]

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Realization...

Repentance...

Regeneration...

Revival...

Restoration...

Renewal...

 

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Prayer.

Prescribed, Personal, Passionate, Persistent, Power-filled, Praying.

 

He is obsessed with alliteration. He thinks it makes him sound clever, but it doesn't. 

[Georgiana]

21 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

He is obsessed with alliteration. He thinks it makes him sound clever, but it doesn't. 

There's not a literary trick in the English language that could make John Shrader sound intelligent.  

[Gobsmacked]

He sounds as if he has eaten mashed  thesaurus for breakfast.

[Palimpsest]

36 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

He is obsessed with alliteration. He thinks it makes him sound clever, but it doesn't. 

He has put me off alliteration for life.  And no, it doesn't make him sound clever.  I know many people who are far more intelligent than I am but I find alliteration embarrassingly easy.

To wit:

John Shrader is a Fucked-up Farcical Fatuous Fart-Faced Fundie and a Fountain of Fanciful Fallacious Financial Foolishness.

[Grimalkin]

4 hours ago, Lurky said:

As a lifelong atheist, I'm pretty sure that *I* could be more convincing about Christianity than John is!  I bet I could convert more than 3 people in 3 years, and I wouldn't even need 9 hours to do it!

ETA my evangelism would be based on the great examples of awesome people I know, and the story of Jesus + the Golden Rule, so I already have a head start...

     Well it's easy to get people to want to believe in a God that loves you- and being an example of God's love by loving others, and helping them. Actually I think John is trying to convert people who believe that into.......whatever it is John believes. His special biblical interpretation. He wants to make sure you really love God for God. Not because you get help. Or maybe he wants you to love God so you don't end up in hell? It seems God only grants his wishes......I mean, answers his prayers for material comfort. Er, you should love God and live by John's strict biblical rules, alianate yourself from your loved ones, sacrifice, not because God loves you but so you don't go to hell. 

     Shit, I really don't know what John is trying to teach these people. I know he praises people for not asking for anything. He doesn't seem to want to show God's love or mercy. He spouts off rules a lot. He asks for things for himself, and thanks God for them. 

[Gobsmacked]

 love it!!for you Palimpsest.

[Lizzybet]

Like the newer poster, these people are news to me. I came to FJ originally when the whole Josh 'inappropriate touching/molestation' then Ashley Madison scandals broke. Since then I've also come to LOVE the politics forum, the family Rodrigues forum, and I sometimes frequent 'AYTFJIM'.

I am extremely uninformed about many of these people, and give so much credit to those people who know who's who in the fundy world.

Most of you guys are SOOO smart! Thanks for educating me. I've led a protected, insular life as a (now lapsed) Roman Catholic, originally from a very large city in the Northeast.

 

* sorry about the empty quote box- I don't know how that happened.

[Palimpsest]

43 minutes ago, Lizzybet said:

I came to FJ originally when the whole Josh 'inappropriate touching/molestation' then Ashley Madison scandals broke. Since then I've also come to LOVE the politics forum, the family Rodrigues forum, and I sometimes frequent 'AYTFJIM'.

Welcome to the Quiverful of Snark forum!  I always give a loud cheer when new people find their way here.  This is where we discuss many of the stranger forms of extreme Fundamentalism so hold onto your hat because it is a wild ride!

You may already know this but John Shrader is married to Anna Keller Duggar's oldest sister, Esther.  He is not a Gothardite these days.  He says Gothard is a false prophet.  He has his own brand of Christianity that he calls Historic Biblical Baptist although he seems to be supported mostly by Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches. 

And he is the World's Worst Missionary.

[clearingthingsup]

4 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

He has put me off alliteration for life.  And no, it doesn't make him sound clever.  I know many people who are far more intelligent than I am but I find alliteration embarrassingly easy.

To wit:

John Shrader is a Fucked-up Farcical Fatuous Fart-Faced Fundie and a Fountain of Fanciful Fallacious Financial Foolishness.

Don't forget his Failing Fruit - all those who have Fallen From the Fellowship of the Faithful Fruitcake John. Surely his Food & Frantic Facebook Flu-Inducing Self-Flagellations are but Futile Fronts to Foray the Favorite Followers From Fleeing his Fearful Freakishness & Fumbling Frail Fancies of Fame for his Fantastic Faithfulness. 

[Palimpsest]

3 minutes ago, clearingthingsup said:

Don't forget his Failing Fruit - all those who have Fallen From the Fellowship of the Faithful Fruitcake John. Surely his Food & Frantic Facebook Flu-Inducing Self-Flagellations are but Futile Fronts to Foray the Favorite Followers From Fleeing his Fearful Freakishness & Fumbling Frail Fancies of Fame for his Fantastic Faithfulness. 

We blow Shrader out of the water when it comes to alliteration.

[clearingthingsup]

1 minute ago, Palimpsest said:

We blow Shrader out of the water when it comes to alliteration.

Yes, yes, we do. 

[clearingthingsup]

For the record I Absolutely Abhor Alliteration. 

Unless you're making fun of others who do it.

But if you're being serious then it's just... 

[Freejin]

Jolis has a quote on his page that reads "we cannot pray in love and live in hate and still think we are worshipping God". It's a Tozer quote. Seems to me that Jolis is using John's beloved wordsmith against him. 

[Grimalkin]

47 minutes ago, Freejin said:

Jolis has a quote on his page that reads "we cannot pray in love and live in hate and still think we are worshipping God". It's a Tozer quote. Seems to me that Jolis is using John's beloved wordsmith against him. 

     I'm sure it's completely lost on John. John is not hateful, his discipline is godly. He is just teaching real scripture. Everything everybody knows about the Bible is flat out wrong. He just wants to keep you from eternal damnation. I'm sure he believes it hurts him more than it hurts you. Poor poor John, so misunderstood.

[clearingthingsup]

I vote we make John Shrader: Fart-faced Fundie & Faithful Fruitcake a post count title! @Palimpsest & my combined description haha

[BlessingsVonFundiePants]

John is requesting prayers while he "seeks Christ's increase"...which sounds really dirty to me but my mind and humour enjoys the gutter. 

[Lurky]

Yeah, "seeks Christ's increase" totally reads as "what can I do to distract people from my latest disaster?  Stop talking about it?  No, too difficult.  I know! Get Esther pregnant again, new babies always bring in the cash!"

(Are any of his kids named after him, I see him as the type with a  John Shrader II, a Jonathan, a Johnette and Johniana...  Although I can also see him trawling the Bible looking the the Fundiest Names Of All....)