Post-Rapture Introductions

[theologygeek]

First, you can't change your friend. The only thing you can change is how you react to her. You have to weigh the pros and cons of this friendship and make a decision. If the friendship is worth keeping, then you can make an effort to not talk about the school when you are with her, and also tune her out when she talks about it. Just have smile and nod type reactions to what she says. But I will tell you one thing. One of the traits in a best friend is that she hurts when you hurt. She's upset for you if you're upset. She wants to beat anyone to a pulp who hurt you. This girl doesn't sound like someone you should give the title of best friend to. You are a valuable human being who is worth so much. Don't settle for less.

[Onora]

Hello, I introduced myself on the yuku boards, but that was awhile ago, and I haven't posted since FJ moved. I thought I'd just post an intro again just to tell a little about myself and how and why I am drawn to FJ.

I live in South Central PA, am married with 2 sons, and I work FT. I've also been a pastor's wife for almost 20 yrs. I am not sure if you'd classify me as "fundie lite" or not. Depending on who you talk to, I'm either knee jerk conservative or whacked out liberal. I can post more on my background etc. later. I will say that my husband and I are not the typical pastoral couple.

Anyway - I found out about FJ through No Longer Quivering. I found out about NLQ through my fascination with ATI/Quiverfull/Pearls etc. I discovered the Pearls when a musical group came to play at the church DH served. It was a family of bluegrass musicians. Peppered throughout their selections were nuggets such as "our hands should never strike our children and be hard, we should use an object" or some such wording. This raised a red flag for me, because I completely disagree. It makes no sense. What does it matter if you strike a child with your hand or an object?? They also extolled the benefits of homeschooling.

Later on, this family had materials for sale, and among them was "To Train Up A Child." One of the teen daughters said she highly recommended it. I bought it, not knowing much about it and seeing the "Amish" family on the front cover. (We are near Amish country.) I read it all the way through, but almost immediately the smug, isolationist tone didn't set well with me. As I read on, thinking, well maybe I can take some good out of this, it just got worse. I believe I actually threw the book away.

What concerns me about the Pearls, and also Gothard and all their ilk is, so many say "Well I'm able to take the wheat and throw away the chaff. Take some truths from it and disregard the rest." (I didn't see anything good to take from it in the first place.) These materials are not written that way. They present themselves, and so do their adherents, as all or nothing. Also, not everyone is wise enough to discern that way. Also, if this stuff is presented by church leadershipor other influential person, there are people out there who are desperate for a "formula" and to them, this looks like the answer. But there is no "formula" or cookie cutter method for a perfect marriage, family, etc.

The SAHD movement really disturbs me as well. I also disagree with the push toward courtship and parent-directed choosing of a mate. the whole "giving away pcs of your heart" makes no sense to me either.

So, that's a little about me. Maybe later I can go into my background a bit. I didn't really grow up "in the church" but made a decision later on.

I do enjoy reading the posts and hope I can add a unique perspective to the discussions.

[Bella99]

Welcome! Hope to hear more from you.

[Alcyone]

Welcome, Onora.

I can relate to some of what you say especially this:

Depending on who you talk to, I'm either knee jerk conservative or whacked out liberal

The way I put it is that I really don't fit in anywhere. For some people, that would suit them just fine but it has always bothered me. I tried to fit in with the evangelical Christian community but it was a gigantic fail and I no longer identify as Christian.

I also liked your point about the all or nothing approach of much of the fundie materials. As horrifying as the Pearls' how-to-beat-your-child manuals are, I actually think the Tripps' stuff is far worse because the bat-shit crazy is disguised in an attractive enough way to make it perfect for church "Bible Studies".

Anyway, looking forward to hearing more of your unconventional story, if you decide to share it.

[Austin]

Thanks for introducing yourself and welcome to FJ!

[Soldier of the One]

Welcome! Look forward to hearing more of your perspective :)

[last_one_picked]

Greetings everyone! I'm a lurker who is registering because no one I know in real life understands my fundy obsession. I don't know if I'll be posting much; Free Jinger sucked up all my time when I was a lurker, so I can't imagine how much time I'll spend here if I'm actively engaged in the discussion.

Anyways, I don't know if this has been discussed yet, but people were on my public university campus this week handing out copies of Ray Comfort's 180. A copy of it is currently in my car. I can't decide if I should watch it and risk my head exploding from rage or if I should chuck it in the trash where it belongs. Regardless, I was horrified to see so many people accepting the "documentary" on campus without knowing what it is or the horrific ideology it represents.

[GeoBQn]

Maybe next time they try to hand you one, say that you don't want it and why--really loudly, so others will hear.

Somewhere there's a thread where someone gave a complete summary, so you don't have to aggravate your head-exploding problem :-)

[Lillybee]

Welcome and I hope that you post more.

[Soldier of the One]

Welcome! :)

Oh, that film *will* make your head explode with rage... don't claim FJ didn't warn ya! :lol:

The film has already been discussed on a number of threads, feel free to check them out.

[lilwriter85]

Welcome to FJ

[Biscuit]

Long-time lurker here, finally saying hi.

I started running into fundies online because apparently I share a lot of their interests...sewing, knitting crocheting, gardening, canning, cooking from scratch, etc. Had no clue about Dominionism, Patriarchy, Fundamentalism, just noticed that a lot of the women signed their posts with some reference to Jesus, God, or being a daughter of the king, and that most of the women, young and old, had no job.

Started watching the Duggar specials because I am from a large (7 kids) family, and like to see how other large families deal with issues like organization, laundry, etc. Found FreeJinger when I was looking for information on the Duggars, and I've been lurking ever since.

Why de-lurk now? I certainly never agreed with patriarchy, but I have 3 daughters myself, and it is now that my oldest is preparing for college, that the full horror of this system is hitting me. My daughter is a junior, and we've started looking at colleges. She wants to major in Biology, (yep, the ebil science! :twisted: ) go on to grad school and do research. It is so exciting for me, watching her prepare to follow her dreams, but I have been feeling a new sadness for all the fundy daughters out there that will never get the same chance.

So, here I am, joining the awesome people of FJ!

[starfish]

Just want to say welcome to our community. Your opinions are valued here and we're glad you jumped into the fray!

This sounds like such an exciting time for your daughter.

[Austin]

to FJ!

[tehgoobster]

So many people who de-lurk have said that they've been reading here for ages, so it's always cool when you all come out and join the fray. Welcome! :)

[fundiefan]

So many people who de-lurk have said that they've been reading here for ages, so it's always cool when you all come out and join the fray. Welcome! :)

Sometimes, you really need to feel things out and read and read and read to feel comfortable enough to join an existing community online.

I read for over a year before de-lurking. I haven't really shut up since, but it took a lot of time and reading to take that step.

Welcome, Biscuit. And yay! for your daughter and the pursuit of her dreams.

[tehgoobster]

Sometimes, you really need to feel things out and read and read and read to feel comfortable enough to join an existing community online.

I read for over a year before de-lurking. I haven't really shut up since, but it took a lot of time and reading to take that step.

Same here. I lurked for quite a bit before I joined.

[Angri-la]

Same here. I lurked for quite a bit before I joined.

I think I lurked for many months, daily, before I made my first post. Welcome to the Free Jingers! We're glad to have you.

[Mommy22alyns]

Welcome! Yep, having daughters makes patriarchy even more shit than it already is.

I lurked for months before joining!

[Bella99]

Bienvenidos! May your snark be as sharp as a stilletto (knife not shoe).

[Marian the Librarian]

Welcome, and thank you so much for the support you are giving to your daughter!

[Biscuit]

Thank you all for the nice welcome! Looking forward to participating.

[pixydust]

Hi, nice to meet you all. I've been lurking here for a while, so please frgive me if I act like I know you all. I even registered about a month ago, but the thought of telling about my fundie/fundie lite/cult-like childhood stressed the bejeezus out of me, so I continued lurking.

Anyhoo, my name is Dusti, I'm 34, & I'm a secular Jew (but was raised in Pentacostal and Southern Baptist churches - my mom married a psycho fundie when I was 5). I'm married and I have 3 kids (I homeschool them, for educational reasons....that city in the news with the kids getting pepper sprayed in school? That is my city.)

Back to my crazy childhood....I'm not sure what category that we fell into, fundie or fundie lite. There are 6 of us kids (no birth control), my mom and sisters and I wore jeans, shorts and makeup, we had a TV (under strict control), we homeschooled, went to regular churches (but they were always "wrong"), I read whatever I wanted. I think that on the outside we looked pretty fundie lite, but the things that my moms crazy exhusband believed were insane. He said God spoke to him in dreams and that the apocolypse was coming, and he was going to be instrumental. The government was evil and trying to ban Christianity and soon the US would be like China. He also began molesting me at 5 and raping me at 8...at 9 I had "demons" cast out of me (you've got to discredit your victim in case she ever talks), and at 14 he paid for my abortion (way to be a hypocrite). Thankfully, he is dead now.

All right, I have rambled on quite a bit, so I'm going to go make my little heathens some lunch! Oh, and sorry if this post was TMI...once I started it was hard to reign it all in.

Dusti

[Mark Dreher]

Hi, nice to meet you all. I've been lurking here for a while, so please frgive me if I act like I know you all. I even registered about a month ago, but the thought of telling about my fundie/fundie lite/cult-like childhood stressed the bejeezus out of me, so I continued lurking.

Anyhoo, my name is Dusti, I'm 34, & I'm a secular Jew (but was raised in Pentacostal and Southern Baptist churches - my mom married a psycho fundie when I was 5). I'm married and I have 3 kids (I homeschool them, for educational reasons....that city in the news with the kids getting pepper sprayed in school? That is my city.)

Back to my crazy childhood....I'm not sure what category that we fell into, fundie or fundie lite. There are 6 of us kids (no birth control), my mom and sisters and I wore jeans, shorts and makeup, we had a TV (under strict control), we homeschooled, went to regular churches (but they were always "wrong"), I read whatever I wanted. I think that on the outside we looked pretty fundie lite, but the things that my moms crazy exhusband believed were insane. He said God spoke to him in dreams and that the apocolypse was coming, and he was going to be instrumental. The government was evil and trying to ban Christianity and soon the US would be like China. He also began molesting me at 5 and raping me at 8...at 9 I had "demons" cast out of me (you've got to discredit your victim in case she ever talks), and at 14 he paid for my abortion (way to be a hypocrite). Thankfully, he is dead now.

All right, I have rambled on quite a bit, so I'm going to go make my little heathens some lunch! Oh, and sorry if this post was TMI...once I started it was hard to reign it all in.

Dusti

That is interesting, I'm sorry you had a rough childhood.

I notice you call yourself a Jew, is any form of Christianity ever going to be in the book for you?

I am always looking to help members of Judaism to finish the second half of the book.

You know, there is a verse that kind of says Judaism is invalid, "No one gets to the Father except through me" John 14:6

So I would encourage you to move away from that.

And welcome.

Mark Dreher

[easternabeille]

Welcome to FJ Dusti, I am so glad you found us! I am so sorry to read that about your childhood, but it sounds like you now have an awesome life.