Joy and Austin: dating with a purpose .... or something (part 4)

[wandering woman]

Thinking about Joy possibly getting married at 19 is depressing. She had a great spirit way back when and enjoyed playing with her brothers.  She seems just as beaten down as her sisters now and will become increasingly unhappy when she starts having babies.  Sad . . . 

[freedom_for_all]

I highly doubt it. Maybe for a few people whose partners are very insensitive and uncaring. I also recall reading that novel where someone sliced her foot, but she KNEW she wasn't a virgin. Still, it's a bit dicey. And unimportant. People should be a lot more worried about if the BOY is a virgin, and his std testing history, which usually isn't great. 

The constant princess?

[Foudeb]

A former mistress of French king Louis XIV was married off to an Italian count - big dowry and nice situation in life as a parting gift. However living away from France didn't prevent the count from hearing rumours and being the beard was no big source of amusement to him - to the point where the bride, who had managed to gather some last minute intelligence on the groom, got scared he might actually kill her upon discovering that she had already had some experience between the sheets.

So she begged for an opportunity to "pray" for a bit before the wedding night together with her old nurse, in a private chapel. At some point during the "prayer" she managed to slip in a fish's bladder filled with fresh pork blood (the nurse hadn't come unprepared) in her lady bits.

The Italian count was very happy, the marriage was successful, and she waited until he was safely dead to write her memoirs, complete with recipe. Although one wonders how an elderly nurse, disembarking into a foreign country for the first time, managed to get all the supplies on such short order.

I suspect that anywhere where blood is required, blood is somehow found. It's not like it's hard to have the wedding night somehow coincide with being on your period.

[MamaJunebug]

1 hour ago, Foudeb said:

Although one wonders how an elderly nurse, disembarking into a foreign country for the first time, managed to get all the supplies on such short order.

Hee hee heh heh … we old ladies have our networks. And that's all I can say about that! Cackle crackle.…

[Four is Enough]

11 hours ago, Tangy Bee said:

Dang...hope his seats were leather. That's easy to clean.

Vinyl, thank heaven!

[December]

On 1/16/2017 at 5:49 PM, freedom_for_all said:

Cuts on the sole of the foot something I read in a Philippa Gregory book

1

I remember something like this in multiple historical fiction books (one of them was probably a Philippa Gregory book too!), where either the couple wasn't ready to consummate the marriage cause they were too young, or the woman needed to "prove" her virginity. An interesting historical factoid.

That said, it's obviously insane if it's happening in present-day America. Purity culture stigma aside, any emphasis on an intact hymen or bleeding as physical "proof" of virginity just goes to show how little people understand about women's bodies -- whether due to a lacking SOTDRT education or just willful ignorance.

[Carm_88]

Um the bleeding happened to me as well. It wasn't horrible, I've had worst messes when I used pads but there was blood.

[DaniLouisiana]

The Phillipa Gregory book everyone is referring to is The White Princess which is being made into a series for Starz premiering this spring. Plantagenet/ Tudor history nerd here.

Woohooo! Half way done with book number one! I may do little more this evening but for now, my brain is tired. At this rate, I maybe finished with all by the end of next weekend, just maybe though..

[wikinggirl]

1 hour ago, DaniLouisiana said:

The Phillipa Gregory book everyone is referring to is The White Princess which is being made into a series for Starz premiering this spring. Plantagenet/ Tudor history nerd here.

 

Fellow Plantagenet/Tudor nerd over here! (and all around anglophile). I think Elisabeth Woodville is one of my favorites. I get my fix by listening to podcasts, like bbc history and Rex Factor (they rate the kings and queens of England, and now Scotland)

[RosyDaisy]

My first time didn't hurt, and there was only a tiny drop of blood. But, I wasn't an ignorant fundie. I was 22, and had, um, done other things.

[nausicaa]

30 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

My first time didn't hurt, and there was only a tiny drop of blood. But, I wasn't an ignorant fundie. I was 22, and had, um, done other things.

(Warning: way overshare here) See my first time hurt SO FRICKING BADLY! I had done nothing and was with a clueless guy who didn't understand the necessity of foreplay. 

And yet, no blood. Not a drop. So I've always wondered about those ridiculous bloody sheet tests and how many actual true blue virgins would fail them. 

[Kittikatz]

I didn't bleed my first time at all, but I did the second and third times. It wasn't much and didn't hurt, but it freaked my poor bf out!

In the community I'm from I heard women whispering about the merits of cutting themselves vs soaking small sea sponges in blood and inserting them before intercourse (which would presumably cause some blood to sqeeze out) so there would be blood on the sheet because "you wouldn't want to risk the husband thinking he hadn't married a virgin". From what I remember, it sounded like just about everyone, virgin or not, had a plan to bleed on their wedding nights.

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

I bled my first time and it kind of hurt, even though there was foreplay between me and the guy. Nothing like my regular monthly PMS though. LOL, I'm loving this thread drift.

[candygirl200413]

y'all get me a little nervous as a virgin!

[Pasta]

27 minutes ago, candygirl200413 said:

y'all get me a little nervous as a virgin!

Just make sure you're into when you're ready and your partner pays attention to your bodily signs.  It'll be great lol

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

1 hour ago, candygirl200413 said:

y'all get me a little nervous as a virgin!

Don't be! If it makes you feel any better, my first time was after a night out at the bar where I was dressed as a naughty Catholic school girl. My crush and I hit it off while out drinking, one thing led to another, and we ended up back at my place. I kept on the skirt and thigh high stockings because he REALLY liked them, if you get my drift. The point is, yes, there was a little pain, but years later, what I laugh about was being a silly sorority girl with a funny v-card story.

And, I liked that it was all on my terms. I said where. I said when. I called the shots. It was my choice, and it kind of made me feel empowered.

[season of life]

All this talk of blood reminds me of a scene from the 2016 film The Handmaiden. Spoilers, but one of the characters cuts her hand and drops some blood on a blanket after pretending to have sex with her husband because she wants to trick her servant into thinking she did the deed.

 

[PainfullyAware]

This is a funny topic! Wow it's incredible to hear that virginity testing and bloody sheets are still happening in places. I know that several of my friends did not bleed the first time so it's definitely a ridiculous standard. A nurse told me that tampon use can decrease chances of bleeding the first time but I have no idea if it's true. 

I guess it makes sense that in a cultish type virginity environment you would want to take the precaution of somehow bleeding. The fish bladder sounds gross ... Really none of the options is very good lol, although having your wedding night during the right time in your cycle sounds easiest (if you're regular!).

[pamplemousse]

1 hour ago, candygirl200413 said:

y'all get me a little nervous as a virgin!

Being nervous is normal. So know that.

Using an insertable sex toy (and if you do, also buy some lube to help things go more smoothly) can be very useful. It'll give you an idea of what to expect when you do have sex, and you can go at your own pace and find what is good for you. If nothing else, by the time you do have sex, you may be less likely to bleed and have pain and more likely to actually enjoy it.  I think going into a store specializing in those items to buy them is a good idea because the staff can advise you on which items to buy. Not that I tried that or anything... 

[trustworthy]

On ‎1‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 2:41 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Don't get too much relief! I'm guessing Austin will propose on Valentine's Day. Then there will be enough time for a late spring or summer wedding.

Probably will because they know Tori's courtship announce will come on that day so they have to compete.

[Showtunesgirl]

4 hours ago, candygirl200413 said:

y'all get me a little nervous as a virgin!

So glad I'm not the only one freaking out a bit reading all of these responses!

[Diggingupdirt]

I was 15 and he was a 17 year old virgin my 1st time and it hurt like hell!! I remember bleeding a small amount but nothing noticeable on the sheets. 

Don't be nervous about your first time, just take it slow and make sure you are ready sorry for the tmi but you are very lubricated. Make sure to that you and your partner take it slow at first. It will be OK. I said it hurt like hell and it did but i went in for some more later so it wasn't that bad and now its a very fun ride that i enjoy regularly lol 

[SorenaJ]

Just use lube for your first time. Makes everything easier. I was on my period for the first time (first time with a guy at least), and bled all over the place, not that anyone was checking that I was a virgin, since it was a tinder date, and he'd probably prefer that I wasn't. Actually there was a guy before that, but he only managed to get 1/4 of the way in. Second guy (on my period) got about ½ way in, third guy all the way in, no blood, no pain. I'm mainly into girls, so often find it hard to be sexually attracted to the guy I'm with. Poor non-straight fundies who might have to fake sexual attraction to their husband/wife   (not speculating on anyone's sexual orientation!) 

[JesSky03]

It's normal to be nervous for your first time but there really is nothing to fear! I was 17 when I lost my virginity with my now husband. I don't remember it being painful...I remember getting a little emotional and almost hyperventilating because I was nervous but my husband was great and took it slow (he was a virgin too) and talked me through it. Ended up being so much fun that we did it again the next morning and then the next afternoon too lol. I did not and have never bled during sex. 

[wandering woman]

TMI, people.